Mixed Feelings And Familiar Faces

Severus Snape was going through the whole range of emotions while staring down at his feet, covered beneath the cozy green blanket. Confusion was the first one, hitting him as soon as he realized where he was. What had happened? When exactly was now? Could it be that he had really been given a second chance?

Soon, disbelief pushed the confusion away, erasing all hopeful thoughts as well. It was simply impossible for him to have come back to Hogwarts. But then, why did the warmth beneath the blanket feel so comfortably real? Why could he move his fingers, how was it possible for him to hear voices from the Common Room?

Finally, after closing his eyes and reopening them to make sure that his surroundings wouldn't change again, Severus accepted that there seemed to be no rational explanation to what had happened. Nervously, he tried to sit up, pulling the blanket off his legs while doing so. He was wearing ragged black pyjamas that were ill-fitting, with too short legs and a very loose fit. However, Snape couldn't have been happier to see his long, skinny legs that seemed to mismatch the large feet.

Being a grown up, trapped in a teenage body, didn't bother him at all. It only meant that he wouldn't attract any unwanted attention, a fact for which he was more than grateful.

But how would he know what had already happened? The thought hit him with a strong feeling of sadness and insecurity. Had he already done what couldn't be reversed? He couldn't just walk out of the door and ask a fellow Slytherin about the year they were in.

Looking around the dormitory for clues about the year he was in, Severus' eyes stopped at the window. It seemed to be spring, the plants of the Hogwarts grounds were not yet in bloom and the sky above was cloudy. Judging from his own reflection in the mirror opposite his bed, he was about fifteen or sixteen years old.

Pushing a black curtain of hair out of his eyes, Severus wondered whether the boy he saw had had the same problems that had haunted him through all his Hogwarts years. Maybe this younger version of him had never been bullied by his peers. Maybe he had never had to think of silent jinxes to defend himself? Maybe he had never even talked to Lily?

Although Dumbledore had told him that the world he came from and the world he was in now were not interconnected, he doubted that this version of him had been any happier than he had back at school. He could only guess where the bruises he could feel while moving had come from, but they didn't seem like the ones you get by unintentionally knocking something over.

On the side of his jaw, there was a particularly weird looking bruise, and Severus was certain that this one had not been the result of an accident. Distractedly, one of his slim hands went up to touch it, followed by a wince- the sudden pain had been unexpected. The injury could not be more than a day old. "I wonder who gave me this...", Severus thought.

Slowly, he put one foot out of the bed, followed by the second one. The floor was cool beneath his bare feet, and excitement rushed through him. If this was just a figment of his imagination, it was a very realistic one.

He walked over to what appeared to be his wardrobe (judging by the large amount of almost identical black clothing), slipped off the pyjamas and quickly put on a pair of black muggle jeans and a Slytherin sweater.

It took him a few minutes to prepare for finally leaving the dormitory, he thought about what he would say to those that he might meet outside, and wondered about how he might find out the current date.

Eventually, he gripped the door handle with shivering fingers, and entered the stairway to the common room. He immediately recognized some of the voices that grew louder, there was Mulciber, Avery, and if he was not mistaken, Regulus Black.

When he turned around the corner, Avery looked up from the book he was reading while sitting in a large black armchair and said, "Hey, Snape! Finally, you're here. I need you to tell me more about the Draught of the Living Death. I've got a feeling that Slughorn may test us on it in our O.W.L.s …"

Severus didn't head what else Avery had to say. It was not important. A wave of relief and joy washed over him. It was still time until the day he had lost all that had been important to him. Still time.

"Snape?", his thoughts were interrupted. Avery was looking at him with a curious expression, obviously waiting for him to present a complete summary of all there was to know about the potion. "Um...", Snape started, while quickly looking around whether anybody was listening. A few others seemed interested in the topic as well, but most of the Slytherins continued with what they were doing, some reading, some chatting in front of the fireplace, and a few girls giggling over what looked like a catalog for love potions. Turning his attention back to Avery, he started talking about the Draught of the Living Death, improvising wildly without bothering putting in all his potions master-knowledge- Snape knew that Avery would be satisfied with very basic information.

After five minutes of potioneer-speak, Avery seemed to have heard enough, and turned back to his book. Severus took a seat in one of the empty chairs and ignored the intrigued glances of other O.W.L. students. He would certainly not use his knowledge from his previous life to teach the other Slytherins about potions, there were far more important things to do.

However, there was no use in just approaching Lily and telling her how he felt, how he had always felt. She probably wouldn't believe a word about the world he came from, and Snape had the feeling that rushing things would not do him any good.

So he had to be patient, take his time, make the right decisions. With a frosty smile, Severus thought about all the time he had already waited, hopelessly, and that a few extra months wouldn't change anything, as long as he could just talk to her again.

He spent the next hour and a half just sitting in his armchair, looking into the fire, planning what he would tell her when he met her. Nobody tried to talk to him, but he wasn't surprised. Being Severus Snape meant not being the center of attention, and he really didn't mind.
He already had the basics of the plan figured out. He wouldn't try and find her right away, he had decided against it just to get a little extra time to work out what to say. She would come and see him when she wanted to talk to him, and he didn't want to follow her around and possibly freak her out.

If they happened to run into each other, he would resort to small talk. Although he wasn't a master of this particular field of communication, it had always been easy for him to find something to talk about with Lily.

Possible topics were school (although he'd have to find out a bit more about the things they were doing in class at the moment), how uninteresting they both considered Quidditch, potions, how her family was (they had hardly ever discussed his family, a fact for which he was glad now), what an arrogant dork Potter was … Alright, maybe the latter was not the best small talk topic, Severus thought.

He would try and just be there for her, comfort her when she was sad, compliment her when she looked beautiful, laugh with her, maybe even hug her every now and then, who knew.

And this was where his plans ended- he didn't really expect to get much further within the next months.

Thinking about her was different than it used to be. The hurt that had been part of his memories of her had been replaced by anticipation, and it was the most amazing feeling to know that she was out there somewhere, maybe even thinking of him.

A nudge on the shoulder interrupted his euphoria, he looked up and saw the smiling, handsome face of Regulus Black. He was smirking maliciously, his dark brown eyes shining with vicious joy. "Hey, Snape! He's going to pay for it today, don't you think?" Confused, Severus racked his brain who might have to pay for anything in Regulus' eyes, and came up with a whole list of people. In the end, he decided it would be best to answer with a simple "Sure."

Regulus, however, didn't seem to consider this answer enthusiastic enough, and hissed, "I mean, who does he think he is? Just because he has his Gryffindor friends doesn't mean he can hex us! The glorious four, hah! Actually, I guess it's just the three of them that could actually fight us. Pettigrew doesn't seem to be of much use, does he?"

So it was Sirius he was talking about. Severus shrugged. He didn't really want to get into any fights if not absolutely necessary... But then again, the thought of cursing the young Sirius Black was tempting. "Yes. I see that this is bothering you.", he said simply. "After breakfast, I'll try and hex that idiot! Are you in?", Regulus asked, beaming. "Erm … I don't know. There's a lot of studying I need to do.", Severus tried to give a vague answer. "Oh Snape, you're such a nerd. But I bet you'll not be able to resist the urge to curse him once you see his stupid face … Or Potter's, for that matter."

Leaving it at that, Regulus turned to leave the Slytherin Dungeon. Others were following his example, apparently it was time for breakfast. Severus waited for the Common Room to empty until leaving it himself.

As he walked towards the Great Hall alone, he felt the excitement crawl back- it had been too long since he had seen her already. He quickened his walk, the hint of a smile on his face.

Hello lovely readers, once again thanks for being interested. I'd also like to thank all those who took (will take ^^) the time to review, it's the greatest gift you can make to a writer (those of you who publish their own stories will know that).
RavenclawBabe, everyone deserves a second chance, right? Especially our all time favorite potions master ;)
RabidReader, Jedi Kay-Kenobi & hello-nurse2005, hope you're not disappointed with the second chapter.
Mystique84, a special thanks for the extensive feedback, as you suggested I was planning on taking things slow (it really bothers me when characters confess their undying love for each other too soon), but will try not to make it boring. I'm sort of having ideas while writing, funny process ;)

So this is chapter 2, please be so kind as to click on the review button, it would mean a lot to my sleep-deprived self!
Next chapter, Sev will see Lily again- how will it go?

Disclaimer: Still don't own HP. *sighs*