There was darkness all around; every direction was black. I wasn't completely sure I was actually there in this nothingness, I couldn't feel anything; I wondered how long I'd be left in alone in it. Then I realized something, something I'd been blind to, this is exactly how I've felt the past few months; alone and unfeeling to things around me. Memories of these months flashed through my mind like a movie. Faces of sad and worried Cheren and Bianca…Letters that went unanswered by me sent from my mom… the longing to help deep in my pokemon's eyes…had I been oblivious to the concern that dripped from their every word? Worse, I had cold shouldered everyone that I cared about when all they wanted was to help. I'd been the definition of a zombie; it would've been the same if I had been dead. Then I thought about my promise to N and realized I'd broken all of it. I hadn't fulfilled anything since he was gone and it was so obvious I'd lost faith in his return, anyone that had seen me could testify to it. Now I felt something, something that was worse than any pain imagined, a flood of pain and regret, and, in the darkness, it actually hurt me physically along with the normal mental and emotional pain, but then again, I deserved it after how I acted the last few months and what I put my loved ones through. I wasn't sure if I was crying but I do know that all through the pain I kept saying, "I'm sorry", over and over in the hope one of them would hear me. But, no matter how much I said it, my efforts were in vain, they couldn't hear me, I was truly alone…or so I thought…
It was gentle, I almost didn't feel it over the pain but it was there. A hug? Was someone hugging me? That's what it felt like, exactly what it felt like. Whoever it was, I couldn't see them but their hug felt more real than the darkness I was in. I tried to look for them but it was hard; I felt like my eyes were straining for nothing more than to see nothing. I groaned, this was impossible, but the more I tried to find whoever it was that was hugging me, the more alert I felt. Why? None of this made any sense, it just made me more frustrated. It wasn't until I heard a voice that I realized I could hear myself still apologizing. His voice was panicked but you could hear that he was trying hard to stay calm, "It's ok, White, you didn't do anything. It's alright." Now I was worrying him when he should really be mad, did I always have a bad affect on people I loved? I tried to look for him again, and this time, to my surprise, I could see an image but it was blurry. Now that I knew something was there, I began to try to focus on the figure in front of me. It took a minute but after a while I could see his pale green hair and after another minute I could see his face. How I was wrong! He wasn't worried, he was terrified! He sat there staring back at me waiting. As much as I didn't want to, I looked away to see where I was; my head was against his chest and one of his arms was around my waist holding me there and the other was up towards my head so his hand could stroke my hair. Turning away blushing, I looked at the place where we sat; it was a cave of some sort with a fire burning in front of us. A low moan came from the left I turned and saw Lluvia, his expression was no better than N's. My lack of talking was obviously stressing N out so he spoke up, "White? Are you ok?" What an odd question…it was a completely normal question, but it was odd because I wasn't sure at the moment, he didn't know that and he didn't have to, so I answered the best I could, "I think so." When he heard my voice, he sighed and hugged me tighter. There was a silence between us but he seemed quite content sitting here just hugging me so I let him have this time despite the questions running through my head. Why was he back? Had he found his dreams? Where did he go? More importantly, would he stay and if not, how long did I have? I hated that question the most and cringed at the thought of him leaving…obviously too much because when I did he pulled away slightly and looked down at me with his familiar soft smile. A spark of interest crossed his face as he stared at mine and I knew he saw the curiosity in my eyes, he was so good at reading me. "What is it?", I sighed, I suppose I could ask a few questions, one thing was for sure, I was going to ask the most important question now so I would know whether or not to get attached again. "N, why are you back?" I pulled myself against him when I saw the confusion on his face, "Not that I don't want you here, bu-" He put his finger to my lips to quiet me, "It's ok, I understand what you mean. Well, it's a long story so let me shorten it. While I was gone I have to admit, it was hard for me to do anything." His green eyes looked off into the distance as he recalled the past year of separation. "Every little thing I did, saw or heard, some of them the most subtle things, reminded me of you. Don't get me wrong it was bad the first few months, it was the worst the last couple of months because it stopped happening so often." His words didn't make sense and it was obvious he was having a hard time putting his thoughts together. "I stopped seeing you in the subtle things…stopped seeing you all together. So I tried to play your voice over in my head like I had done before with no problem but that time I couldn't remember how it sounded." My brain began to put together the pieces; he was like me when I went of the ferris wheel, memories had slipped from his mind too. "That's when I realized I needed to come back. To be honest, I always did like the sound of your voice, and not remembering how it sounded", he shook his head, I could see the slightest blush on his face, "It was the worst feeling I'd ever had." A sad, heart-stabbing thought crossed my mind, "So, you came back to see me and hear my voice." He looked down at me when he heard the hopeless tone of my voice with a confused, concerned expression, "Yes. Why?" With that, I answered my important question: he wasn't staying. Looking down so he couldn't see the water in my eyes, I sat silent. "White", I didn't look up, "White?" He sighed when he got the same reaction. Placing his hand under my chin, he tilted my head up to look at him. I tried to pull away but he then held my face with both his hands and I knew turning away was pointless. "What's wrong? Did I say somethi-", I shook my head no, "Then what is it?" Sighing, I felt my heart rip apart when I asked, "When are you leaving?" Once again, an unintentional tear fell from my eye; I shook my head again and wiped the tear away. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…I'm…I'm just weak." Understanding covered his face now and he touched his nose to mine again, "You're not weak, White, I would've thought the same thing with the way I worded that." What was he saying? My mind wasn't working with his words, "I'm not leaving this time…or ever." A flame of hope that had died months ago ignited again, "But, your dreams, I thought tha-" I broke off; he was nuzzling me again. Sometimes I wondered why I liked him nuzzling me so much when most girls just wanted to be kissed but I found this to be just as equal in my mind. "I should've realized what you already knew sooner. When we met, our dreams collided and the outcome was our dreams put together. You said your dreams need me… it just took me longer to realize mine need you…" He stopped nuzzling and held me close again, closer than before, "Besides, hearing your voice is much better than trying to remember it." He laughed to himself and I closed my eyes and smiled; it felt like my life might be making a turnaround…but one thing slipped my mind…I'm not even sure how but it did…
I'd never felt more at home, all warm and happy, against him, more at ease than I've felt in months, but I should've known something would happen…like I said before, love is ironic that way. A freezing cold wind blew through the cave, taking the flames of the fire with it and bringing the dark on the night in the cave. We both turned towards the moonlit entrance startled and saw the end of our happy reunion: the Shadow Triad had followed us.