A/N: I really wanted this in a script format. It would make my life much easier :(

Summary: A few detours later, the new trio arrives in hell.

Randomness, Spices and the Trio

The next day, the fixing and cleaning of the mansion was going off without a hitch, unless you can count Lightning knocking another bucket of paint on her third victim, Yuna.

"Why me~" she shook out her hair, spraying paint everywhere, spattering Aya.

"Once again," said Laguna, mopping the floor, "Welcome to the madhouse."

"I wish her sister was here," said Vaan, coming out of the kitchen after washing the dishes, "She's the only one who can control Lightning. Wish we knew how she do it."

"We don't need a relationship in the house where one sister cares for the other while the other don't recognize the same care given back to her thank you." Tifa snapped, carrying a few boxes, "One of the reasons how Serah got herself into that pinch."

"True…" Laguna grumbled.

"Where's Kain?" asked Yuna as Tifa grabbed a bucket of water and poured it on Yuna's hair.

"He was dusting last I saw him." said Vaan.

Everyone went silent.

"That's quite the image Vaan." Lightning said, coming downstairs to clean up her mess.

"Why don't we take a break?" said Tifa, tossing the boxes in the living room, "We've been working all morning."

"Not to mention starving." Vaan noted, "We skipped breakfast, brunch, and lunch."

His stomach growled in agreement.

"No kidding." said Yuna, who finished drying herself off with Ifrit.

Laguna nodded, "So, who up for cooking?"

Everyone looked at each other until…

"I'll do it."

"You Lightning?" Aya raised her eyebrows.

"I prefer death." Tifa said.

"I've gotten a lot better!" Lightning said, "Seriously."

"Doesn't hurt to let her try." Laguna shrugged.

Lightning grinned, "Leave it to me!"

"We're doomed." Tifa despaired.

A few hours later…

Yuna was on the sofa, clutching her upset stomach. Laguna was in the bathroom for a while and hasn't come out yet. Kain was banging on the door, trying to get in.

"I guess it's true when they say Serah cooks better than Light." Vaan moaned, rolling on the floor.

"It's not that bad." Lightning said, looking completely normal.

"How did Serah survive?" Yuna buried her face in the pillows.

Aya them appeared and said, "Got an e-mail everyone, and a few announcements. And just what the hell happened to you all."

"Lightning." Yuna and Vaan said.

"What the hell you do this time?" Aya groaned.

"I made spicy pasta." said Lightning.

"You sure?"

"Ok ok, I grab some of that Chef B stuff and added some spices. Happy?"

Aya rushed into the kitchen and looked in the cupboards, "Are you kidding? Some? You added the whole package! How are you fine?"

Lightning shrugged and said, "How is it that there are a dozen bathroom in this place and Kain's trying to get in the one Laguna's in."

One hour later…

"I think we all agree never to let Lightning cook ever again." Laguna said.

"My stomach-"

"Shut up Kain."

"I think I'll cook next time." Tifa said.

"I think we have enough eye candy, don't you think?" Kain said.

"Would you like to go to heaven?" Tifa snarled, cracking her fist.

"Enough you guys," Aya said, "For I have good news."

"What?"

"You'll be getting out in three months to join the others in Dissidia."

"In March?" Lightning sighed in relief, "Thank the Maker…"

"Don't you mean, "Thank God"?" Vaan said.

"And," Aya continued, "The host of this mansion will be coming back tonight."

"Ariel Averia's coming back?" Kain groaned, "Not good."

"Only because you piss her off with your attitude." Tifa noted.

"Ariel's the host?" asked a surprised Yuna, "Is she in Dissidia?"

"No," Ava laughed, "She wish she was through."

"She had to leave to supervise the interviews with Dissidia Originals." Laguna said.

"Also, some the original Warriors of Cosmos will switch to Chaos and one visa versa."

Tifa swore, "Not good."

"Furthermore, three will be three new additions join you all. Ariel will be arriving with them in two hours, so get this place clean."

"We're almost done with that." Laguna said, "Come on guys."

"Oh Lightning, wait."

Lightning turned to Aya as the others walked off.

"The boss sent you this. You won't like this."

Aya handed her a picture. Lightning took one look at it and fainted on the spot.

"I'm surprise she didn't die on the spot," Aya blinked, "Talk about Serah taking it all in. At that rate, she'll be an octomom."

Two hours later…

The crew finished fixing up the mansion and was preparing for the new guest when an unpleasant, ripping noise sounded through the foyer.

"VAAN!" Lightning yelled.

"What the hell!" Tifa shrieked.

"Sorry! The pasta came back to haunt me." He groaned.

"Hey guys, I finished decorating the living room- What's that smell?" Yuna stopped dead.

"That my friend would happen to be Vaan's ass." Laguna said holding his nose.

"To hell with this," Lightning snapped, "I'm opening the window."

"You're the direct cause of it, emo."

"You wanna die Kain?"

"No thanks."

"All right you two, quit your chatter boxing." Laguna said, "Don't want to have a bad impression for our new friends like Yuna had."

He turned to Lightning, "And will you open the window?"

"Alright!"

She opened it, "Can hardly breathe in here anyway."

"So uh… what the origin of this place?" Yuna asked.

"This mansion belongs to Lara Croft." Laguna explained, "She recently joined SE."

"Where is she now?"

"On an island."

"SHIT! Don't tell me he's in Dissidia!"

Everyone turned to Lightning, who pointed out the window. They looked out to see a man in bulky samurai armor.

"It been a while…"

"Great," Lightning complained, "Out of all possible characters, we had to attract this piece of shit."

"I thought he was a summon." Tifa said.

Kain yawned, "Who cares?"

Everyone shouted him down, "WE DO!"

"We trust that you'll be on your best behavior, Gilgamesh." said a stern Aya.

"What the hell?" he said, "Don't you know who the fuck I am?"

Everyone nodded their heads.

"I'm the Gilgamesh bitch!"

And he smashed through the front door, breaking it into pieces.

"Behold, the glorious debut of Gilgamesh! Prepare yourself for oblivion!"

He turned to the rest of the cast, who were all looking horrified.

"What's that smell?" he asked, "Someone decomposing?"

Aya groaned, "I hope you realized that you just doomed everyone, including yourself."

"Shut up bitch. Make me a sandwich."

Everyone's eyes were as wide as dinner plates. Is this guy for real?

Aya was suddenly wearing a scary smile, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that…"

"I said-"

The others dogpiled him, "Shut up!"

Gilgamesh was dizzy by the time they got off him.

"What an asshole." said Tifa.

"He's definitely a Warrior of Chaos." Lightning said, "I feel sorry for him already. You okay, Aya?"

"Yeah." she nodded, "You actually saved him from getting deep-fried."

"Hi!"

"Now what?"

They turned to see a young girl who just walked in with her bags.

"The most bad-ass Elvaan of the 11th Dimension, Combo Maker Prishe, sanjou!"

Vaan was stunned, "Uh oh."

Yuna nodded, "My ears are gonna bleed buckets."

"Yo, Miss Prishe." said Laguna, "I'm Laguna, and this is Tifa, Lightning, Vaan, Yuna, and Kain. Welcome to the madhouse. We apologize for Gilgamesh here."

Prishe took one look at the downed samurai, "Who kicked his ass?"

Vaan laughed, "Hey, don't ask, don't tell."

"Shut up Vaan." Lightning snapped.

"That's two so far." said Laguna, "Where's the third?"

"The third isn't much of a fighter," Prishe said, "The boss said that all she had to do was assist."

"Lucky." Kain said, "She has the luckiest job out of all of us."

"I think it's best for her." Prishe said, "Seeing she came back from the dead."

"She? Not other girl." Kain complained. A swift kick to the nuts from behind by Yuna finally silenced him.

"I told you I got pulled out of the Lifestream." said a voice behind her.

Prishe turn to the other young woman who was carrying her own bags and panting.

"Sounds like the same thing flower girl." Prishe countered, "Get out more."

"Oh sorry. I've been floating around my world for the past few years." she countered back, "But the boss forcibly yanking me out of the Lifestream hasn't done anything nice to my lifespan."

"So you got eight more life then?"

"Shut up."

"…Aerith?"

Aerith finally looked at the crew of Dissidia and locked eyes with Tifa.

To be continued…