Inside The Fire
Chapter 06:
"Fracture"
Two weeks went by of my vigorous exercise. Genkai finally deemed me strong enough to start the real training. Though, I wasn't fond of the real training one bit. I was currently sitting with the old woman on a pillar of stone over a canyon with the wind whipping me like a disobedient dog. It took everything I had to not pass out and fall to my death.
"Now, we're going to hold this pose. The meditation will begin with you clearing your mind and just finding yourself."
"That doesn't even make any sense."
"You'll understand when it happens."
I sighed in defeat and kept my back straight, my legs folded beneath me and my hands resting in my lap. I started the newly learned breathing technique and closed my eyes. My thoughts, on the other hand, buzzed through my brain, effectively irritating me and keeping me from whatever I was supposed to be actually doing. A sharp pain erupted from my forehead and I clutched at my skin with a quick intake of breath. Genkai was glaring at me.
"What was that for?"
"You need to let go of whatever is holding you back. Stop thinking so damn hard and just be."
"Easier said then done." I grumbled.
I closed my eyes again and drifted back into myself. The fuzzy static of my ever present thoughts came back full force. I could picture my inner self wading through them like a raging river. Slipping down under the waves of questions, I felt like I was drowning. My short fingernails did little to help me reach the surface, the metaphorical waves prevailed over my trimmed claws.
Tired, my brain was tired. My inner self ceased her struggles and let the beating of the tidal waves wash her along the never ending stream. Then I couldn't even hear the buzz my own mind created. My senses muted to the outside world, and to the noise my own inner struggles were causing. Now, I was just floating along in oblivion. The abyss was white without the shadowy static sweeping over me.
With my mind clear, I was able to understand what Genkai really meant. My senses opened again, but the inner world was silent. There were no scents, and no temperature differences. For awhile, anyway.
Walking around through the vast nothingness felt like mere moments ticking away when I finally felt something. It pulsed and beat like a drum, like my missing heart, even like wings if you wanted to go on with the analogy. Silvery-purple light flashed with the beat, and I edged toward it. A hazy sphere of shining energy sat like a beacon in the middle of my inner world. Each pulsation threw off an extra bright flash of blinding light.
The first thing I thought to do, was pick it up. With shaking hands I wrapped my fingers over the surface. The ball continued as it had been, but temperature made itself known. A warm tingle traveled thru my palms and along my bones. The further it got, the smaller the ball became. Eventually it was gone, and I was warm. My flesh glowed with the same light and I smiled at the sensation. Something deep inside of me sighed, I feel whole now, it whispered.
The next thing I knew, my world was fading. I could hear the wind in my ears, feel the chill in my bones, and I could see Genkai smirking at me. She was standing on her pillar, her clothing different then I remembered.
"Get what I mean now, kid?" She asked, smugly.
"Yeah, I do."
"Good, because it took you three days to figure it out."
Everything, ever so quickly, made itself known to me. Especially how greasy my hair felt. Ugh, nasty.
I was clean, my clothes were fresh, and my jacket was the heaviest I had. Genkai and I stood on the porch, though she was just standing, I was saying farewell to Yukina.
"Are you sure you don't need me to pack you two any food?"
"I'm sure Yukina. Genkai already told me I would be too busy to eat."
"Oh, well, please be careful." She smiled sadly at me.
"Don't be sad Yukina, I'll be fine and back before you know it." I patted her shoulder and she brightened.
"Alright kid, time to go." Genkai called from down the steps.
I followed after her. My hair whipped behind me in the wind like a silky banner. The forest was thick and full of woodland animals. Squirrels chattered above us and does with their fawns steered clear of us as we moved along. The details of the outing had been made clear to me, but I still felt as something was being withheld. ''I'm going to train you on how to manipulate that energy of yours, so go get clean and dress in warm clothes, you wont be bringing anything with you." She said. Sounds intense. I glanced at the older woman, Anything is better then running, though.
We walked for two days, with no sleep, until we were at the base of a cliff. She turned to me after jumping up on a boulder and sitting down. Myself, well, I dropped in a boneless heap on the ground.
"Alright, kid. It's time for you to learn how to actually fight."
"With my energy?"
"No, with your fists."
Sitting up, I eyed her warily. She was already up and looking down on me. Knowing I'd get pelted with pebbles, I stood too.
"First, you're going to learn to hold yourself like a fighter. A good stance is everything. You need to be able to keep your balance and be capable of holding yourself up. You can't be falling all over the place." She hopped down from the boulder and forcibly moved my body. She placed me in a pigeon toed, knee-bent stance and put my arms up to cover my chest and face.
"This," she tapped my back foot with her shoe, "is going to absorb the shock when you're on the defensive, it's also going to be what propels you forward when you strike."
"Hardly any fights are all stand still, you will constantly be in motion, but this is a good stance to start in and to fall back on."
"Alright." I committed the odd feeling position to memory.
"Your right hand is your dominant hand, but you will be using your left just as much as your right." She tapped my left fist and I looked at her over my raised hands, "Remember to keep both arms strong."
"I'll teach you as much as I know, but your own style will come naturally once you get into the swing of things. Understand?"
"Yes."
"Good, now hit me."
"Er.." I hesitated and she punched me in the ribs, I grit my teeth.
"Hesitating could mean your life, now hit me."
I swung and she knocked away my fist like it was a fly, I moved back into my stance.
"This is going to be a long few months," She sighed.
"Ugh!" I grunted as I was thrown back across the gravel. Stones bit into the fabric of my pants and my back as I skidded along the ground. Not a second later Genkai was over me, sending punches into my gut. I flung her off and she landed on her feet.
"God damn it," I grunted as I pulled myself up.
"What, does the baby have a booboo?" She taunted.
Growling, I ran at her. She blocked my right jab, spun away from my roundhouse kick, and in turn I blocked her shot at my ribs and kick to the throat. It had been weeks since the old bat had drug me out here, and now I was fighting her like my life depended on it. She was smaller then I was, but so much stronger. On a whole other level, I respected the old master, but right now I wanted nothing more then to strike her across the face. Just once, that's all. She always blocked everything I sent at her, it was damn well frustrating.
One thing that had improved since being out here was my speed, not only was I capable of running faster, but my movements were sharper and more controlled. Jumping back from the woman, I went back into my stance. The pose was not the one originally taught to me by Genkai, but my own spin off of it. My legs, though still bent and pigeon toed, felt comfortable from so much use. My arms were positioned differently, effectively protecting my ribs and ready to come up to block anything sent at my face.
We watched one another before I ran at her, my body fazed out of view as I moved around her in a blur of denim jeans, black t-shirt, and bright lilac hair. She smirked, "This old trick again?"
Instead of my usual straight on attack from this dizzying display, I faked the old woman out. I came at her from the right and before I moved to strike, I spun back out and caught her from the front. My fist effectively caught her chin and she flew back. She never hit the cliff, her feet drug along the ground in a scratch of rubber sole against earth.
She wiped the blood from her bit lip and smirked at me,"Took you long enough, kid. Let's move on to something else."
I nodded, relaxing my stance, "Alright."
"Summoning your youkai is a lot like channeling water. You navigate the power to where you want."
"So, when you use the Spirit gun, you're channeling your energy into your fingertip."
"Exactly. You let the energy flow to where you want it, and let it build up to the amount you want, and release it. How you release it though, is up to you. You make your own attacks."
"So I can do whatever I want?"
"No, your body will know how to use it, how it's supposed to be used. You just have to figure it out."
"And I suppose your going to tell me how?"
"Don't be a smart-ass, kid."
"Yeah, yeah."
"Concentrate on your inner self. Let yourself feel the power of your youkai, and just feel around for a point of escape for the energy."
She hadn't needed to tell me twice. I dived down into the big white world. My spiritual self stood naked in the abyss, palms up and face upturned. Her eyes were shut as well. I broadened my senses, pushing them out and concentrating them on my own body. I felt the flow of my power like blood in my veins, then I felt a deviation in the flow. The energy bounced over the surface of my palms and fingertips on both hands. Quickly, I slipped back out from my meditative state, and nodded to Genkai.
"It's my hands. Palms and fingertips."
"Good, that makes this a little easier." She wasted no time with her exclamation, "Now you get to make your attacks."
"How do I do that?"
"That one you have to figure out yourself."
I frowned and stood, my arms limp at my sides. We were at the top of the cliff and the surface was mostly barren, and completely flat. Few boulders speckled the rocky ground. Facing one of the closer boulders, I faced my palm at it. Nothing happened for a long while. Possibly hours later, a thought came to me. Energy seeped from my hand in small tendrils of silvery-violet light. My mind dictated the pattern, thickness, shape – everything.
A simple circle formed, the diameter matched that of my palm. Then another circle framed that one, encircling it so the two were a centimeter apart. Small cut outs of triangles appeared within the lines and around the shapes, energy filled in the gaps. Around the band of light on the outer edge – though they did not touch the circle – small squares appeared.
In this odd weave of energy, a plain but small loop of energy appeared in the center with four unattached lines appearing in the center to touch the edge of the new layer. Each point came from one of the cardinal direction: north, south, east and west.
In basic terms, I had just made a target like structure out of my youkai from thin air. I stared at it, amazed. The light glowed brightly and it neither lagged nor wavered when I moved my hand. Next, I focused my energy at the surface of my skin. The slightly calloused flesh tingled and warmed.
It pulled through my spiritual veins and rocked like a wave under my skin until I let it go. The ball sprung forth like a blast from a cannon and obliterated the rock. A smile crept across my face and I turned around to Genkai, she was smirking at me and I showed her my still a-light palm. She nodded and pointed back to the empty area, I turned as the dust was settling.
"Now, like you've strengthened your body, you have to strengthen your spirit. You'll be training that little technique until it can blow King Yama himself off his throne." The amused tone never left her voice.
"I swear your trying to kill me, old lady." I grouched and walked off into the field.
"Less whining and more working, kid." She huffed.
"Yeah, yeah." I drawled as I wandered off to do some work.
Never in my life had I been so happy to see a huge stairway. Trudging up them no longer wore me out like it had when Genkai had made me run them fifteen times every six hours. I wont divulge into that torturous week of hell, it was all in the past, anyway. The weather was warmer, considering it was now spring. Spending two (and just about a half) months in the middle of no where with only the clothes on your back did a lot to change your appreciation for modern technology.
The closest thing I had to a proper bath was a dip in the nearest stream with sand as my soap. My skin was mostly grimy, my hair was pulled in a sloppy and loose bun at the back of my head and was greasy. My clothes were filthy and I smelled like sweat reheated in hell.
Yukina and Kuwabara were lounging on the front porch when I was finally at the landing. The ice maiden quickly waved and smiled when she saw me. The ox of a boy stood and trotted over to me, swinging a arm over my shoulder. His grin could have split his face in half if it stretched any further.
"Hey, Devin! We thought Genkai killed you out there. We haven't seen you in so long. And, ugh, what's that smell?" His nose scrunched and he leaned away from me.
"Nice to see you too," I smirked and ducked out from under his arm. "I thought she was trying to kill me out there, and I haven't had soap to bathe with in months. I smell like death."
"Death smells like roses compared to you right now, jeeze!" He pinched his nose and held his arm away from his body, the one that had been around me.
"Oh hush," I sighed and walked up to the house.
Yukina smiled sweetly at me, her eyes closing as she did so. "Welcome home, Devin. Are you well?"
My eyes widened slightly, and I nodded to her. "I am, and thanks. How have you been?"
"The same, thank you for asking. I've dusted your room for you while you were away, I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all, thank you, again." I dipped down in a bow, "Now if you'll excuse me, I desperately need a bath."
The mint haired girl, who I had noticed was dressed in a skirt, blouse, and sweater, turned to talk to Genkai as she made her way to the temple. I didn't stay any longer then that as I passed through the forgotten halls. Yukina had kept my room as it was, and I grabbed clothes to change into after my shower. My bath bin came with me as well as I left the room and traveled to the – extremely missed – wash room.
Clothing was shoved off in a rush after the door was locked and I covered myself with water, more soap then was needed, and scrubbed. My skin was pleasantly sore when I was finished, as was my scalp. My wet hair tickled my lower back and I tossed my fluffy towel over my head to rub it dry. The mass of purple smelled like fresh cut flowers and my skin felt smooth.
As I brushed my hair, I noticed all of the callouses my hand had to offer, and I knew its twin would be the same. After a quick check in the mirror and brushing my teeth, I left. Having on fresh clothing felt wonderful. My new attire consisted of a gray tank top, a loose, black, hip length sweat jacket that I left unzipped, and my usual jeans.
Home, I frowned in thought as I walked back to the kitchen. Could I ever even consider this place home? Shaking my head, I walked in just in time for lunch. Hamburgers sat on everyone's plate and there was a few bags of chips on the table. My mouth watered at the scent and I plopped down onto my mat.
"I prepared something American for us." Yukina explained to Genkai.
Everyone's eyes swiveled to me and I felt my face heating up, "Eh, what?" I blinked.
"Could you tell me if I made them right, Devin?" Yukina asked me and I looked down at the burger.
The sandwich was the perfect size and I chomped right into it. God, this is so good. I swallowed my mouthful and nodded to her. "Yukina it's perfect." I showed her a small smile and went back to shoving food into my face. Too busy was I, to notice everyone else was eating and carefully watching our exchange.
When we were fished our meal and it was just me and Yukina cleaning up, Genkai cleared her throat. I looked over at her when she said: "It's time to get back to work."
"Eh? We just got back, Genkai."
"That's the point. You have more skills to develop that I can't help you with, but there are people who can help you here."
"Wonderful," I sighed.
"Go meet Hiei outside on the porch, you're his problem now."
"Cranky old woman." I grumbled as I tossed the dish cloth in the sink.
"Smart-ass kid." She bit back.
Pushing my sleeves up my forearms as I wandered out into the second to last room. It was the meeting room where I had been interrogated my first day here. My shoes laid at the door and I pulled on the dirty tennis sneakers. My steps were light and the soles tapped against the wood. As promised, Hiei was waiting in the courtyard and I sighed as I moved down the stairs.
He eyes me with a blank stare and flickered away. Frowning, I ran after his energy signature. It disappeared far off into the forest, and I chased it like a ship following the beacon of a lighthouse. Just to point out a fact here, I am no where near as fast as the moody fire demon. Yeah, I can get out of the way of an energy blast fast enough to save my own ass, but keep up with Hiei? Not a chance.
The signal finally stopped then faded and I made my way through the brush and foliage of overgrown plants. I broke into a cleared area. Trees were broken around the edges of the circle, a boulder laid to the left, dry and cracked from the weather. The grass was plush in some areas and dead in others. Some splotches of soil showed in all of their bare glory, too. My first thought went right to a workout ring. Which it was, obviously, I deducted by the slash marks on the trees. The red-eyed demon stood in the center, his usual cloak wrapped around him despite the nice weather.
"Took you long enough."
"Not all of us can be as fast as you, Hiei." I sighed, stuffing my hands in my jean's pockets.
He smirked, and I pictured his ego inflating just the slightest bit, "Explain to me why Genkai passed you onto me."
"Didn't she tell you?" I cocked an eyebrow at him and he gave me a deadpan stare.
"It's," I started, then paused, fumbling for the right words. My eyes drifted up to the overhanging tree branches, fresh leaves blocked most of the sky view. Slivers of blue shone behind the leaves, Just be direct, what's he gonna do, laugh? My mind whispered harshly.
"My mental barriers are shit. Genkai pulled some trick and used my memories against me, I ended up knocked out for two days afterward."
"I wont take it easy on you."
Nodding, I accepted his answer. "Didn't expect you to."
After staring at me for a moment with hard eyes, he pointed to the boulder. I walked over to it before jumping up on it and sitting down. The surface was cold from being in the shade and the demon sat on a stump in front of the rock. My ocean blue eyes watched him and waited for instruction.
"Go into your meditative state," he directed.
My eyes shut and I waded into the shallows of my question river. The static lapped at my spiritual self before I dove into it and swam under until I reached the other side. The white world became solid with my feet connecting with the floor. My inner self looked around expectantly.
That's when a dark velvety purple mist appeared. It took shape, forming a shadow that matched Hiei exactly. Interesting, the echoing thought bounced around the never ending world.
Focus, the purple Hiei replied. To repel an illusion, you have to use your will and logic.
Alright, my brain whispered back.
Repel this, he threw a picture of me drowning in my static river. I could feel water clogging my lungs, my my thoughts became hazy. It was all so strange, because that river wasn't even really water.
I gasped and clawed at the surface. My spiritual fingers scraped at the water, I was really going to drown. This was it, I was goi-
Repel it! Hiei's angry voice yelled at me.
My thrashing body stopped and I focused on standing back in the abyss, white and empty with Hiei's cloud clone standing ahead of me. Then, it vanished, and that's where I was. My head snapped to either side, looking for the water, and it wasn't there.
When you're put into that situation, you panic. Don't. His voice was stern, and my spirit self nodded.
Like most nights, I was tired, but unable to sleep. My back laid against the cool wood floor of the porch. My gray sweat pants were baggy on my, now more lean and muscular, frame. Though I was still small and thin, I didn't look as sickly. My feet were bare and I had on the same black jacket from earlier, but a different shirt. The soft breeze tickled my skin and I yawned.
My arms were behind my head, my left knee drawn up with my right leg crossed over the knee. I can't even sleep after having my ass handed to me mentally. I blink up at the night sky with bleary eyes. It was true, Hiei had shoved me into situation after situation where his illusions overtook my mind rather easily. Where I had become physically mighty, my mind stayed weak. A puff of air left my parted lips and I closed my eyes.
I just need, I thought, to let it go. A soft hum began in the back of my throat. The tune was soft, mostly sad, yet hopeful it its own way. "Someday, look back, on a, young day, we shared, we learned, we had, we lost," my voice made the appropriate pauses in the bouncy tune. My usually lower voice, took it's natural tone. The few higher octaves made such a difference. The soft voice, I knew, matched my young looks more. "Because you know, tomorrow had another plan. Because we lose, the future is all we have left." I took a breath, "One pain, one hope, too far, so close, we laugh, we cry, we live, we grow."
The tune smoothed out, "Because..." My voice trailed off. "Because we know the future is all we have left." A high pitched hum matched my singing voice as it traveled from my throat in a matching tune, then I picked the song back up. "One day, somewhere, hold on, somewhere, we stand, we leap, we fall, we go." Blinking up at the stars, I wondered at the familiar feeling rising in my gut, "Because you know, tomorrow plays another hand. Because we lose, the future is all we have left." The humming resumed, soft and sweet. "We have someday," I hummed some more, "surely someday," a pause, "surely someday."
A minute or so passed by when I finished my song, my rightful tone slipping away, "Did I wake you, Hiei?"
He jumped from the roof to the porch, "Hn."
Tilting my head back, I got a view of him from upside down. "I'll take that as a 'doesn't matter'," I looked back up at the stars.
Shuffling ensued and the clack of boots hitting each other. In my minds eyes, I pictured him sitting against the overhang roof support beam. "That song is meant to go with the playing of a piano." I mentioned after a few seconds.
"Why are you telling me, onna?" His tone wasn't biting, as usual. Calmer, actually.
"Just letting you know."
"Pointless."
"Not really."
"Hn."
We sat in silence for awhile. What he was doing, I don't know. From my position near the stairs I couldn't see the fire demon behind me. The stars blinked down at the world and the night air shifted now and again.
"Do you like music?"
"What type of question is that?"
"A random one." I tilted my head back to look at him. As far as I could see, his hair was still spiky and he had his bandana over his forehead, as usual. My body refused to bend back any farther without me changing my position.
"Your style of music."
"Hm?"
"The music you've played, it's different."
"Ah," my eyes moved back to the sky.
"Most of it's what my mother taught me. I translated a lot of it into Japanese, my father liked hearing them and knowing what was actually being said."
Another batch of silence made itself known to us. The silence wasn't awkward, but I felt the need to speak to the antisocial fire demon, though a man of few words he was.
"Your voice isn't strong," he said out of nowhere.
I sat up, turned, and faced him, "You really must enjoy reminding me of my faults."
His red eyes glittered, "It's interesting, you never know if you'll break or not."
I pulled myself up and moved to the threshold of the meeting room, "I'll take that as a compliment." I left him out there in the night. Morning was fast approaching, and I wanted another shower before everyone was crowding the bathroom. Today was going to prove to be another flushed out training day from my new sensei. Oh, how lucky am I? My inner voice drawled out sarcastically.
A man dressed in black slacks and a white button up. His eyes were the deepest blue, his hair the color of milk chocolate. He held a hand out to me, a large calloused hand. His skin was of an olive tone and pale. A crooked smile played on his lips, but it belonged there. I reached out, too, and put my smaller hand in his.
The smile twisted into a sadistic smirk when pain exploded from my back. Eyes wide and horrified, I looked over my shoulder. A beautiful petite woman with long wavy black tresses and a ivory complexion smiled a hateful smile. Blood dripped from her face and around her bright gray eyes. They never spoke, never said a single word to me. The feeling of betrayal bubbled in my gut, but it was nothing compared to the pain. I didn't even know if it was emotional or physical.
A horse cry ripped from my spirit's throat, and it all exploded into ribbons of light. In a whirlwind, it vanished just as it came. I gasped for air and wrapped my arms around myself for some sort of comfort. That had been the worst attack yet.
"Control yourself, it was nothing," Hiei's cloud spoke.
My meditative state was slipping, I could feel my body waking up to the outside world. I struggled to anchor myself to my world, then it just fell through my fingers.
My eyes slammed open, my arms were covered with gooseflesh and my senses were sharp. The spiky haired demon glared at me irritatedly. My legs moved out from under me and I slipped down from the rock and walked past the demon, my eyes hard, focused, and trained ahead of me. My strides were long and my pace quick, but he was always quicker.
A sharp blade rested at the side of my neck, and I kept my back straight. "We aren't finished."
My breathing was even, "I need a break."
"You're running away."
"Not really."
The sword moved and he sneered, "You're pathetic."
That same overwhelming feeling surged forward like a tidal wave. My head ached, my body flushed in a spike of temperature, and my hair stood on end. I spun around so fast that I almost lost balance. My fist flew forward and Hiei caught it easily. I felt my whole demeanor change. My muscles that had been relaxed became taunt and my unhanded fist clenched and shook as my knuckles turned white.
I could see him through my bangs, hard red eyes glared back into my stormy cerulean ones. My teeth clenched painfully and I hissed at him, "So what?"
I ripped my fist from his grasp and whipped it out to the side in a wide sweep, "So what if I'm pathetic? Does it even fucking matter?"
His eyes were critical and his glare held firm, "It's not like I belong here, I shouldn't even be alive!" The wind whipped my hair to the side and the leaves of the trees shook, it carried my harsh growl away.
Somewhere my subconscious whispered, barely audible, You're breaking...
Turning back around, I started walking back the way I was originally headed. Right as I was about to pass through the edge of the clearing, a hand caught my wrist. I didn't struggle against his grip as I stood there. His skin was obnoxiously warm and it sent a tingle up my arm and down my spine.
"Are you done with this meaningless babble?"
My head bowed, I glanced over my shoulder and through the fringe of my bangs at him. His bored expression wasn't unusual. I could never read those eyes of his.
Sighing, I moved my arm and he released me, "Yeah."
Without orders, I sat back on the rock and rubbed my forehead. The ache had yet to subside and I stared down into my lap, "You confuse the shit out of me."
"Hn, says the onna who just threw a tantrum."
"Oh, hush."
I'm not really sure what his smirk meant that time, and I didn't bother decoding the fire demon. Some things are just better left in the dark, I assured myself.
Disclaimer & Author Notes:
Well, dang. Hiei's stalking the poor girl it seems.
Devin's learning how to control and protect herself. That's good, right? Right.
We'll see.
Can anyone guess who attacked Dev during her mental training? Kudos to you if you know.
Last but not least, thanks to my reviewers:
O T A K U T A K U, Chevalier Weldon, Erika Hearken, and jennyz
Devin, Hisato, and Morgan belong to me.
The characters from the Yu Yu Hakusho cannon belong to Yoshihiro Togashi.
The song 'Because' is property of Yoko Kanno and whatnot.