A/N: Is there such a story with a plot with no plot? LOL

Summary: The new crew goes on a rescue mission.

No Lightning-like Rescue I of II

Ariel Averia, SoulEmbrace2010's OC for Final Fantasy, knocked at the door where the noobies were living.

"Hi Ariel." Aya said as she opened the door, "What took you so long?"

"Cosmos suddenly disappeared on me after those damn interviews."

"So Chaos did take her…"

"I'm sorry, what?"

Aya laughed nervously, "The other went to go rescue Cosmos from Chaos. Who know what he doing to her now."

"Not good. And just as the boss warned him too." Ariel groaned loudly, "Don't get me started on the time Cosmos got drunk…"

"Hmm, knowing the newbie's, they should be a match for Chaos." Aya reassured her.

"Well, knowing those guys, there nothing they can't handle, except the boss's wrath if he finds out the idiot left."

After running for an hour, Yuna finally summoned Bahamut and had it scoop everyone onto it's back, roughly to be added.

"I broke a buttcheek!" Vaan whined.

Lightning tried to keep a straight face, "You'll be fine."

30 minutes later in the air…

"Hey Laguna," Yuna suddenly asked, "What're you reading over there?"

"It better not be H-doujinshi!" Tifa warned him, "I read enough of those where they depicted me as a helpless bitch with big boobs!"

"I'm reading fanfiction," he said, "Happy?"

"Even worse!" she shrieked, "A PAIRING BETWWEN ME AND SEPHIROTH IS A FREAKIN NIGHTMARE!"

"It's an interesting one with game show, where if a date goes wrong, Chaos get a point. But if a date is successful, Cosmos gets a point. And the pairing has to be between a Warrior of Cosmos and a Warrior of Chaos."

"Oh joy…" Kain rolled his eyes, "What kind of crazy pairing could they come up with for me?"

Prishe smirked, "You and that crown, if worse."

Everyone roared with laughter at an enraged Kain.

"Could go just as well as Sephiroth and Terra," said Laguna, closing his laptop.

Everyone blinked. Words cannot describe any kind of pairing between those two.

"I can't even tell if a date between Cloud and Lightning would go so well."

"It won't…" Lightning said firmly, "Just because he looks like me…"

Vaan snickered, "It's actually the other way around."

"Shut up!"

"Don't complain Light," Prishe laughed, "Any date with you, het or yuri, is gonna suck balls."

"I really don't like fanfiction…" Tifa shivered, "I'm more than just boobs and a pretty face!"

"But the stories between you and Aerith are pretty hot." Prishe pointed out.

"And I'm sure one with you and that crazy professor would be."

Prishe eyes narrowed, "I was trying to make you feel better because you have a sleeping Aerith wrapped in your arms, but if you want get technical about it-"

"Okay, I'm sorry!" Tifa said hastily.

Yuna rolled her eyes as she had Bahamut descend, "We here at the lab."

Inside, they looked all over the stage as the pipe spitted out magical steam.

Yuna grimaced, "Are we really gonna fight here?"

Aerith jumped back dodging the fumes, "Geez."

"They're not here," Laguna said, "Then again, who would want to?"

An unpleasant sound started to ring through the air near them.

"Lightning…" Prishe clamped her ears, "Are you joking?"

"To think Light likes Justin Bieber," Laguna said thoughtful-like, "Unthinkable."

Lightning shrieked, "This is not the ringtone I had set- VAAN!"

Vaan put his hands up, "I didn't touch your cell!"

"Well, it suits you." Kain shrugged, "I thought about switching it to a Hannah Montana song, but this is better."

Yuna blinked, "Did you just admit your crime?"

"Yeah, so?"

WHAM!

Kain was on the floor, clutching his bleeding head as Lightning answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Cosmos is at the Edge of Madness. And hurry. The boss said that you and the others have one hour to get your rescue mission done before the boss makes good on his promise."

"Thanks…Ariel."

She hung up and turned to Kain, "You are a piece of shit. Let's go. She's at the Edge of Madness."

Laguna nodded, "What else?"

"And we have one hour before the boss makes good on the threats."

Prishe was confused, "Threats?"

But Yuna quickly summoned Bahamut under everyone and flew off.

"I'm sure your threat would include doing something with Shantotto." Vaan snickered.

Prishe growled at him, "Vaan, fuck off."

"I guess we're the madhouse altogether." Tifa rolled her eyes, "Will Kain be alright?"

"No." Lightning smirked, then stomped on Kain's nuts, making Laguna and Vaan cringe.

"Guess not…"

To be continued…