A/N: Happy late Valentine's Day! Sorry it's late. Homework can be a bitch.

Summary: The noobs play an interesting game with no string attached, or sort of...

Note: Be part of the madhouse! Be sure to submit questions for the cast for the next chapter.

Valentine Game

The newbies got back to the mansion under one minute to spare before the boss punished them. A few days later, Cosmo recovered and left before she was exposed to the madness. By that time it was the day before Valentine's Day, and Ariel had a great idea.

"Say what?" Tifa shrieked.

Or, so she thought.

Prishe whined, "Can it be something else?"

"I rather die." Kain said flatly.

"That's too damn bad." Ariel snarled, "It's almost Valentine's Day, and they going to play."

"Can it be sometime better than Seven Minutes of Heaven?" asked Lightning.

"Nope. As the host and keeper of the house, we're playing and THAT'S FINAL!"

Everyone flinched as Ariel stomped the ground, creating an earthquake. No one dared bit back.

"I do as she says guys." Aya said, "All of you know what will happen if you piss Ariel off, and it's never pretty. Don't believe it? Ask her latest victim Lightning."

Lightning pretended she never heard that.

"I will let one of you guys off the hook just this once." said Ariel, "In a game of straws."

Gilgamesh was dumbfounded, "Straws?"

Ariel explained, "There will be nine straws. One of them will be one odd color straw. The person who picks that will be exempt from the game."

"Awesome!" Laguna fist-pumped.

Yuna sighed in relief, "If it's not me, I sure hope it's Gilgamesh."

"I'm scared…" Aerith said.

"You and me both." Vaan nodded.

Ariel conjured up the straws and held them out, "Chose. Only one is special."

Everyone nodded, picked one up, and held them out.

"Thin of it as a way to chose your Valentine tomorrow. Watera!"

Ariel used a water spell to drench the straw. All of them looked the same except…

"Cool!"

Laguna's straw turn blue, to everyone's despair.

"Just as well," he said, "I can be no fun."

Lightning rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

"You guy fuck…" Prishe growled.

Minutes later, everyone was in a circle in the living room surrounding a spinner.

Kain groaned, "I rather play Twister-"

"SHUT IT!" the girls screamed.

"I set up a room on the third room." Ariel explained, "You know it when you see it. Remember: me, Aya, and Laguna are not in the game."

"Boo!" said Gilgamesh.

Yuna laughed, "Let the games begin then."

Lightning, Vaan, Prishe, Kain, Tifa, Aerith, and Gilgamesh looked nervous as Ariel struck the spinner. It spun until it landed on…

"Yeah!" Gilgamesh hopped to his feet, "Who wants a hot dog?"

Everyone else made loud retching noises as Ariel spun the spinner again, landing on…

Aerith squeaked as the pointer stopped…on her.

Tifa screamed, "No!"

"She's gonna be roadkill!" Vaan protested, "Redo!"

But Ariel waved them down, "Aerith's gonna be fine."

"Let's go my sweet!" Gilamesh said in a gentleman-like matter, and escorted Aerith upstairs with Aya leading.

"This is gonna be like be like a bear mauling a rabbit."

Tifa and Lightning glared dagger at Kain.

"It's true!"

"But sometimes, the rabbit can bite back." Ariel smirked.

Once they got in the room, Gilgamesh slammed the door behind them.

"IT'S MORPHIN TIME BITCH!"

"Not on your life asshole!"

Seven minutes later…

There was loud howling coming from upstairs.

"Aerith…" Tifa whispered.

Laguna frowned, "That's not…Aerith's voice."

The next thing everyone knew, Gilgamesh was backing down the stair with Aerith in tow, but not how everyone expected.

Yuna cheered, "You go Aerith!"

"Yeah!" Tifa and Lightning hi-fived.

Laguna snickered, "I rather have leg cramps."

Aerith had the "claw" on Gilgamesh's balls, making him howl with pain. She released him and kicked him painfully down the stairs.

"I had him like that when he attempted to rape me," Aerith explained, "For seven minutes that is."

"I'm glad I'm not him." said Kain, "Justin Bieber's lucky that wasn't him too."

"You better wash your hands though. Next!" Ariel spun the spinner.

Vaan and…

Yuna.

"Finally, a regular couple!" Prishe said loudly.

"Shall we?" Vaan offered his hand.

"…Ok." Yuna smiled and took Vaan's hand and went up the stairs.

"Ladies and gentlemen." Aya smirked, "This should be interesting…"

Seven minutes later…

Vaan and Yuna came back downstairs…

"Yuna, you're all red." Lightning's eyes widened, "Don't tell me-!"

"We just played the game," said a really red Yuna, "That's what Seven minutes of Heaven is all about right?"

"You lucky devil!" Laguna gave Vaan a headlock, "How'd you do it?"

"I don't know," he said sheeply, "It just happened…"

"Tidus is gonna be pissed…" Kain laughed, "Mums the world folks."

Ariel rolled her eyes, "Next!"

Prishe and…

Kain.

"Let's have some fun Kain Highland!" Prishe laughed evilly as she dragged Kain by the foot up the stairs.

"Wait, what?"

Laguna looked disturbed, "I feel sorry for the for guy already."

Seven minutes later…

Kain wailed as he flew from the third floor to the ground.

"What did you do to him?" asked a confused Aya.

Prishe gave the thumbs up, "I kicked his ass for several minutes before giving him Holy hell."

"Not the seven minutes of heaven I hoped for." Kain moaned as the others laughed.

"That leaves Lightning and Tifa…"

"Tifa…chan…" Aerith felt pangs of jealously all of a sudden as Tifa and Lightning glared daggers at each other embarrassed.

"Before you two start, I have an announcement." Ariel said, "Soon, we'll be on a TV show with you guy being interviewed."

"WHAT!"

"While you guys are in your alternate costumes!"

"EH?"

"That's all. Now Light, Tifa, you know the rules."

Lightning sighed in defeat before going upstairs, Tifa following suit. Watching them was Aerith, who bit her lip.

"Well, tell me how it went," Kain groaned, "I'm going to bed."

Laguna yawned, "Me too. My leg's startin to hurt here."

"We all know how it'll go." Prishe added.

"No matter," Ariel shrugged, "The game's over anyway."

One by one, the newbies, Ariel, and Aya went to bed, leaving Yuna and Aerith.

"Wanna watch some Jersey Shore Aerith? …Aerith?" Yuna looked around and saw Aerith sneaking upstairs.

Aerith got to the room Tifa and Lightning was in and opened the door to find Lightning topping an embarrassed Tifa. Aerith blushed furiously as the two noticed Aerith at the door.

"I can explain-" Lightning started.

"Let's face it. This is not the worse thing you caught me doing."

"At least you both are still dressed, kinda," Aerith pointed out, "But… I'll forgive you Tifa, if you let me join in."

With that, she closed the door.

Nearby, Yuna giggled, "Poor guys. Looks like it's a yuri-theme Valentine's Day tomorrow. Makes me wish that Rikku was here."

To be continued…

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