Thank you for your comments everyone! You all ROCK! And honestly, I don't mind malevolent comments either! hehe

"Youch!" said I, as my fruity-named stylist completed the bikini-wax. He looked a bit worn-out, so I gave him a treat to cheer him up. He licked my hand, and went on to my hair.

"How are you feeling, Katshit?" he asked, and put on my lipstick.

"Um okay."

"Dammit!" he screamed as my 'um okay' smudged the art of putting lipstick on.

"Don't you think, seeing as there was a massive apocalypse and everything, that people would really care if my lipstick's smudged?" he began brushing my teeth.

"Well, since only North America, very randomly named 'Panem', spit," he held out a bowl and I spat in it."..Is left, our culture is now 100% capitalistic and materialistic. So the Political notion of apocalyptic savagery is apparently not relevant and it all seems whimsically Apolitical..."

"So, your saying that this book is only really relevant to Western culture?"

"...If by relevant you mean, 'dats wot its like on TV!'...do you think any Americans would buy this book if it wasn't about them?"

"...I suppose not," I said and glared into the distance moodily, as my stylist began work on the bra side of things.

I saw Pee and waited with him before the parade.

"OMG, you're wearing the exact same thing, innit!" I screamed.

"I know...I hate this dress," he commented. Soon the fruity-named stylists came up to us.
"Good luck, Katshit and Pee," they thought about this for a moment. "Wow, you two do go together!" My stylist leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Soon the parade began.

We strutted across the stage, as people screamed. It was like being on The X-Factor...except someone was going to survive. I laughed, smiled, twirled, laughed, smiled, twirled, laughed and smiled. And twirled. I was getting dizzy. But I was famous. I was beautiful. I was amazing. Haha, haha. Hahahahahaha. I turned to Pee, to share a 'haha, look at us, we're superior human beings,' laugh and the next thing I knew I was being soaked by water from a bucket that he was holding and throwing at me. I froze as Pee put the bucket down and smiled, waved, pointed and laughed at the cameras. Grr!

Later, backstage, I grabbed Pee and hit him over the head with a dead-squirrel.

"What the hell were you doing?"

"...You...You were on fire."

"...What?"

That was when it all became clear to me. When my stylist leaned in, he'd been holding hair tongs. They had reacted to my body glitter (and the gasoline on my panties), and set me on fire. It all made sense. Can you imagine the catastrophe? Thank goodness Pee saved me. The whole of Panem would have remembered me as 'Katshit, the girl who was on fire." That would have been awful. People would think I was an absolute idiot!