Warnings: Violence, past character death
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Notes: Kinda short. Can't wait until the next few chapters, it'll start going in depth with the whole storyline (including a lot of Kames angst which I'm excited to write) Let me know what you guys think.
He had never seen such a breathtaking beauty in his entire life. It literally left him breathless, speechless, thoughtless. His soft, brown hair swept to the side, his sparkling brown eyes, his tall muscular figure. But perhaps the most captivating feature on the other boy was his radiant smile that seemed to instantly brighten up the room, immediately brightening his world. In his world of gloom and despair, this guy was like a diamond, shining so bright.
His pure innocence was refreshing compared to this school full of delinquents. His eyes roamed over the bare skin of his arms, noting the distinct lack of ink adorning that flesh and the drastic contrast to the rest of the student body, himself included. And that's how he knew, if he didn't talk to this guy right then and there, his life would never feel complete again.
"Should I ask him out?" he leaned over to ask his friend who clearly wasn't as focused on this beauty as he was.
The Latino glanced over to where he was staring and then back at his friend. "I don't know," he answered, slightly hesitant. "He looks like he's way too good for you."
"I know," he murmured with a contradicting smirk that displayed no ounce of self-doubt. His inadequacy compared to this guy didn't mean a thing to him; nothing was going to get in the way of talking to this beautiful stranger.
He walked confidently over to the table the other boy was sitting at and slid down on the bench beside him. "You are too damn beautiful to be at a school like this," he said suavely, smugness still tugging at his lips. Kendall would never forget that moment when the soon-to-be love of his life looked over and smiled at him for the first time.
Reality came like a harsh wake up call, disrupting his perfect dream. The deep ache in his chest returned, intensifying almost unbearably so. He let out a heavy sigh, leaning forward, cradling his head in his hands. Running a hand through his messy hair, he stood up, slowly walking over to his window. He ignored all the memories that flooded his mind at the view outside his window. He was more than appreciative of the text he received just then, effectively interrupting his morbid thoughts. Grabbing his phone and cigarettes, he shrugged on his jacket and went out to his front porch. He sat on the first step, lighting up a cigarette and opening his most recent text.
New message from Carlos:
Hey man. You doin ok? seemed kinda down
He inhaled deeply letting the relaxing smoke settle in his lungs as he typed out a response.
Message sent:
just the usual
New message from Carlos:
need me to come over?
Message sent:
if you wanna. im watching katie and my mom ordered pizza
New message from Carlos
over in ten
Carlos knew what it was; he knew exactly what it was. Ten months and he was well rehearsed in the usual. It'd become a routine for his friend; it was more than that though. It was a way of life, how his friend lived these days and he knew it was becoming increasingly unhealthy each passing day.
Kendall was still grieving and he understood that but he also knew that James wouldn't want Kendall to live like this, in a constant state of mourning. He would want Kendall to be happy but, without James, Kendall could never be truly happy again. That was the power of their love; it was amazing when they were together but heart breaking when they were apart.
Unfortunately, the latter was how it would be for the rest of Kendall's life. Carlos wouldn't wrap his head around such a concept. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. From what he observed, this didn't seem true. The pain of losing a loved one seemed far more severe than never having that person in the first place. He had never felt a love like that and after witnessing its effect on his friend's life, he wasn't sure he ever wanted to.
The dead silence hanging in the air was deafening. Not a single sound could be heard throughout the entire two story house. At his desk in his room, he had spent the past three hours working on all his schoolwork for the day. Spinning around in his chair, he took a quick break, glancing around his room. He still had a bit of unpacking to do. Deciding that was less painful than 3 pages of equations to balance, he stood up, opening the box at the top of the stack.
His fingers grazed over the smooth glass encasing a beautiful color photograph of his family. He was a baby in the picture, only a month old as scribbled on the back of the Polaroid. He was cradled in his mom's arms and she looked exhausted but was smiling nonetheless. His dad was beside her a matching grin on his face as he leaned down, tickling his chubby baby cheeks. The picture caught him mid-giggle and captured a perfectly happy moment for the family. Little did any of them know that would be one of the last happy times they would share.
Before the telltale wave of nostalgia could crash over him, his vibrating phone stole his attention. He flipped it open, reading the quick text from his mom. Sighing dejectedly (his mom had texted to let him know she had another surgery and wouldn't be home until late), he set the picture on his nightstand, glancing at the digital clock sitting there. It was just after six and he figured he should grab something to eat for dinner.
He was about to head downstairs when his phone vibrated again. Part of him wanted to ignore it (probably just his mom again saying she'd be even later) but he went to retrieve it anyways. It was from a number he didn't recognize, which made him a little more than hesitant to open it. He took a deep breath and pressed open.
Carlos wondered why, after a mere day of knowing this boy, he could make him smile so easily. Granted, the smart boy probably didn't intend to do so, especially not with his harsh texts. But the alarmed way he replied to his casual text was endearing, how easily the boy was frightened. If only he knew that this would be the least of his problems in this town.
He glanced up at the clerk behind the counter, who wasn't paying any attention at all. After grabbing what he needed, he inconspicuously left the convenience store. He didn't feel the rush he used to at the beginning; the first few times were terrifying and exhilarating but it soon became so normal that he didn't feel anything anymore; it was just a way of life, his way of life.
Kendall's heart ached, as it did every time, when he pulled out his phone after feeling it vibrate in his pocket. The picture for his background always had this effect on him but he knew he never would, never could change it. That would hurt more than all the memories tied to it that came rushing back to him.
It was roughly a year after they started dating, a year after he fell in love with James' dazzling smile and sparkling eyes. He was holding the phone, his other arm wrapped securely around James' waist, holding the brunette flush against him. James had the biggest smile on his face while Kendall's lips were pressed against his rosy cheek.
He ached to be in that position again, holding the love of his life in his arms once again. The pain he felt when he realized, for the millionth time, that he'd never be able to do that again was suffocating, leaving him breathless. He quickly opened the text, cutting off his suffering.
New message from Carlos:
dude open your door. ive been knocking for 5 minutes
Shaking his head, he stood from the couch, throwing his phone carelessly onto it. He made his way to the door, swinging it open and nodding in acknowledgment at his friend.
"Dude! You'll never guess who I ran into on my way here!" the Latino exclaimed as he bounced into the living room. "Drake Ramirez! He looked like he was gonna piss himself when he saw me!" He purposefully left out running into the new kid while he was out too. He could tell how Kendall felt about that just from their earlier meeting at lunch. Kendall had a hard time letting anyone new into his life these days.
"Yeah?" he questioned numbly, "What's that little shit up to?"
Carlos shrugged, setting the chips and sodas he brought on the table. "Didn't really stay long enough to chat."
"Figures," Kendall muttered, "Kid was always a fucking coward."
"No doubt," the Latino mumbled in agreement, plopping down on the couch. "You need to talk about anything?"
Kendall sighed; he knew his friend meant well but there was only so much that could be said and he felt it had already been said multiple times. "Just the usual Carlos," his whisper was slightly strained with choked emotion. "It's always the usual, always gonna be the usual."
"It'll get better someday," Carlos assured him, comfortingly patting his friend's shoulder.
"Promise?" Kendall asked with such a devastating hope in his voice that it nearly broken Carlos' heart. Carlos wanted so bad to promise just that but he wasn't sure it was one he could keep.
Logan prided himself on his higher than most intelligence. This, however, was not one of those proud moments. He was extremely book smart but unfortunately lacked any street smarts, which is what counted most right now as he walked down the dimply lit street to the store. It had seemed like a good idea when he was peering into an empty fridge but now as he was turning the street corner and praying he didn't get jumped or mugged (like Carlos had mentioned), he was starting to realize what an insanely stupid idea it was truly was.
He quickened his step, looking forward to the sanctuary of the grocery store. Just a few more steps through the parking lot and he was home free. Well, at least until he had to walk back home. He was so focused on the light of the store's entrance that he didn't even notice the figure approaching behind him.
The only alert he got was a pair of strong arms wrapping around his waist, lifting him off the ground. He couldn't stop the scream of fear he emitted or the frantic kicking off his legs in a desperate attempt to escape. After barely a second of effort, his capture's grip loosened and Logan flung himself away.
"Woah, woah, woah! Shorty, calm down," a familiar voice called.
By the time Logan finally got his senses back and fear stopped flashing white before his eyes, the smart boy realized who the other person was. It wasn't a mugger or thug intending to "pop a cap in his ass" (whatever that meant); it was just Carlos.
"Carlos!" he exclaimed, trying to calm his still racing heart. "You can't just do that!"
"And you can't just be walkin' 'round these parts at night," the Latino returned, "You'll run into someone a lot scarier than me."
"I'm starting to realize that now," Logan muttered, turning to walk towards the store again.
"Allow me to escort you!" Carlos proclaimed, jogging to catch up with the other boy.
Logan wordlessly agreed because he was more than a little scared and there was something about Carlos that made him feel safe.
Logan was more than appreciative as Carlos walked him home from the store, even more so when the Latino insisted on carrying his bags. He had been extremely frightened; he would never admit it but he wouldn't deny it if asked. Maybe it was his wide expanse of inked skin or that he actually knew his way around this town but Logan felt safe when Carlos was around, like nothing could or would hurt him. It was the first time that whole day he had felt this way. If this was the case, he just might have to stick around the Latino. With the way Carlos stuck to him, he didn't think he'd really have to worry.
Carlos wondered if this was how it felt falling in love. He knew it was crazy; after all, he'd known this boy for less than a day but he couldn't help but get butterflies whenever Logan looked at him, his innocence etched into his soft brown eyes. He remembered the first time Kendall confessed that he was in love with James.
It was a Friday night and he was absolutely exhausted, more than looking forward to going straight to bed. He'd spent all afternoon scoping out the neighborhood by shoveling the entire street's driveways per Kendall's instruction. It was a waste considering if was a dead day for any activity. The only good thing to come of this was the decent wad of cash he earned. Too bad that money would have to go to paying the month's rent.
These thoughts were interrupted as his door to his room opened. He opened his eyes and glanced up, noticing his best friend Kendall leaning against the door. Despite being his closest friend, Carlos was not particularly fond of the other boy at the moment, if his sore, aching muscles were any indication.
Kendall sighed happily, head leaning back against the door. "I think I'm in love," he proclaimed suddenly.
"What?" Carlos exclaimed in shock and confusion. "You've barely known him a week. How you can you know that?"
Kendall looked straight at his friend before answering, "I knew the very first time he smiled at me."
And as they approached his house, Carlos handed Logan back his bags and he couldn't help but grin at the soft smile tugging at Logan's lips, wondering if there would, could ever be something between them.