Disclaimer: the characters are JK Rowling's, the songs beat and some of the lyrics belong to Nelly Furtado and"Maneater"…oh yes there is also a 'Panic! At the Disco' pun and many other band take offs (Hinder, Evanescence, Fergie, Rihanna, The Black Eyed Peas and Jessica Simpson, but only in passing). I am making no profit from this.
Dedication: My clock.
A/N: As you can see, this story will be very random, short, have hardly any plot and be rather stupid (in fact it's more like a ramble), it is meant for some comic relief – and the fact that "Death Eater" goes well with the song "Maneater". Yes, I do have a twisted imagination and this story was a spur of the moment thing…and I'm kinda scared to post it…oh well, here goes nothing...
PS: this is a PARODY…it is not meant to be SERIOUS…so please take it light-heartedly…in other words, please don't flame…but I do like constructive criticism and fluffy comments!
WEBB'07
"Everyone give 'The Fuzzy Leprechauns' another big round of applause!" Albus Dumbledore yelled, a massive scream from the crowd answered him, "Good luck for the next round boys!"
It was the fist round of the Wizarding European Band Battles for 2007 (WEBB 2007). It's held every two years at a different location, this year the host country is England at Hogwarts. Dumbledore agreed (though slightly reluctantly) to be the MC.
He started talking again "now that we have heard from all the bands the judges –"
He was cut off however when seven people dressed in all black, wearing white masks and had a general air of foreboding lurking around them entered the Hall.
Everyone went silent.
One of them spoke, a woman "You seem to have forgotten us, Dumbledore!"
"Did you sign up?" he answered.
"Yes we did! It's not our fault that you are hopelessly unprepared!"
"Well then," said Dumbledore, slightly flustered, "What is your bands name."
Another figure to the right of the woman puffed out his chest proudly, "We are the band 'Panic! In The Inner Circle!'"
"We are singing a song named 'Death Eater', written by myself and the Dark Lord," the woman said.
Dumbledore gaped (and pointed dramatically), "You're Death Eaters!"
"Please don't state the obvious, do you think all these black robes are to confuse you?" she replied, rolling her eyes "We have been sent along by our Master to show you how to really rock the house!"
Dumbledore's face went stony, "Is this even legal?"
"Yes it is, you can't exclude us Dumbledore," the woman said.
Whispering had started out in the crowd. Some people were very impatient and wanted to see them play so they started throwing Butterbeer corks at Dumbledore's head, one got stuck his beard.
"Alright! Alright! You can play!" The headmaster said angrily, plucking a cork out of his moustache.
"Thankyou, Master will be very pleased," one of them answered.
Dumbledore stuck out his tongue and gave them a rather rude hand gesture.
When they had set up Dumbledore reluctantly introduced them, "we now have the last band for tonight representing…well representing the Dark Side," he scowled, "called 'Panic! In The Inner Circle' with their song entitled 'Death Eater', take it away."
The woman Death Eater placed the Sonorous charm on herself then put away her wand, and lowered her hood.
Bellatrix Lestrange looked out onto the crowd.
The band started to play…and then she started to sing…
Everybody come obey me, me
I pull out my wand you start screaming
Come on everybody I want some 'Crucio's'
Don't move your wand around like a loser
Everybody get the Order to run aground
All you crazy wizards come on bow down
I want to see you all on your knees, knees
You either want to kiss me, or kill me!
Death Eater,
Make you scream loud
Make you fall down
Don't ever try and, chat us up
We are Death Eaters
Make you die hard
Make you come last
Aurors you are, already losing the war
We are Death Eaters,
Make you scream loud
Make you fall down
Don't ever try and, chat us up
We are Death Eaters
Make you die hard
Make you come last
You're never ever going to escape from us!
And when we stalk we stalk with passion
when we talk, we talk for just a little bit,
when we ask for something, Potter, we mean it
even if it is a dirty old prophecy
Everybody get the Order to run aground
All you crazy wizards come on bow down
We do anything to complete our crimes
'cause, our Master always wants us to be on time!
Death Eater,
Make you scream loud
Make you fall down
Don't ever try and, chat us up
We are Death Eaters
Make you die hard
Make you come last
Aurors you are, already losing the war
We are Death Eaters,
Make you scream loud
Make you fall down
Don't ever try and, chat us up
We are Death Eaters
Make you die hard
Make you come last
You're never ever going to escape from us!
Death Eater,
Make you scream loud
Make you fall down
Don't ever try and, chat us up
We are Death Eaters
Make you die hard
Make you come last
Aurors you are, already losing the war
We are Death Eaters,
Make you scream loud
Make you fall down
Don't ever try and, chat us up
We are Death Eaters
Make you die hard
Make you come last
You're never ever going to escape from us!
Never ever going to escape from us!
You're never ever going to escape from us!
You're never ever going to escape from us!
You're never ever going to escape from us!
You're never ever going to escape from us!
The crowd went wild! (Except for the Aurors, the Order and Harry Potter)
Dumbledore quickly took hold of the situation, "That was…enlightening…now will the judges please start rating the performances to see who will proceed to the next round."
For the next five minutes the Judges conversed and collaborated, in the end handing an envelope over to Dumbledore containing the names of all the ten bands that would be continuing.
Dumbledore opened it up, cleared his throat and started to announce the names.
"The first band that will be continuing is – The Ice Bergs from Luxembourg with their song 'Fiery Freezing Charms'" the crowd clapped, "the second band – is 'Spiked Butterbeer' representing Finland with their song entitled 'Floo Me When I'm Sober'", Dumbledore drew breath, "The third band is – 'Hungry Grindylows' from, oh I should have guessed, from Hungary with their song 'Teeth of a Skrewt'. The fourth – 'Inferno' with their song 'Magilicious' representing England," at this the home crowd erupted in cheers, "Fifth – representing the Czech Republic with their song 'Checkmate' the band 'Oily Thestrals'."
The Death Eaters looked on with mild interest as Dumbledore continued.
"The sixth to make it to round two is – 'The Fuzzy Leprechauns' representing Ireland with the song 'A Unicorn Drank My Firewhisky'. The seventh - 'Pixie Blood' with their song 'Unforgivable' representing France," Dumbledore scowled at the next one, "Eighth to go to the next round – 'Panic! In The Inner Circle with their song 'Death Eater' representing the Dark Side," the Death Eaters smiled in triumph, "Ninth to be admitted to round two is – Germany with their band 'The Red Nosed Carrots' with the song 'Don't Bunk wid my Girl'."
Dumbledore cleared his throat before giving out the name of the last band, the groups that hadn't been chosen yet watched in anticipation. The crowd held their breaths.
"The last band to make it to round two is – from Albania with the band 'Fairyphunk' and their song 'These Wands 'r' Made for Cursin'." Dumbledore finished, folding up the paper and surveying them all with his blue eyes. They turned as cold as the water that drips off thawing beer bottles when he saw the Death Eaters apparate away.
The other bands that had been chosen were jumping up and down with excitement…the others just looked on in acceptance (and a bit of jealousy of course).
Dumbledore was just glad it was over, "Thankyou all for coming to the 236th WEBB competition, I hope to see the bands play some quality music next month during round two!" He took the charm off his voice and then slumped into a chair with only one thing on his mind.
Why does Voldemort always have to interfere with everything?
A/N: well, there you go…I do hope you liked it (and survived it)…it took me ages to make names for all the bands and songs, but it was fun. I don't plan on doing a sequel, but if I get an avalanche of good reviews (which I highly doubt) I'll probably write about the next round.
Doesn't the little grey review button look soooooo inviting?
Enjoy Life,
--MM