A Time to Heal

Chapter 13

Do You Think He'll Come Back?

THE atmosphere at the 12th the following morning was quiet and somber. It didn't help that Kate was feeling very frustrated that Castle had taken off without letting her even talk to him. Although she was pretty sure that he wasn't gone for good, she thought that he could be had her very depressed.

When the guys came over to work with her on the case, she couldn't help but try and find out if they had any information.

"So, what exactly did Castle say before he left?"

"Nothing. Just that he needed some time away," Ryan replied.

"Come on, you expect me to believe that he didn't tell you anything else?"

When Ryan didn't answer, Esposito said, "He didn't have to say anything else. It's obvious that things went south between you two and he didn't feel like sticking around."

She was surprised at his tone. "Are you guys mad at me because he left?"

Ryan immediately answered, "Of course not!" but she noticed that he didn't meet her eyes when he said it.

"Esposito?" she asked when he didn't answer.

He hesitated before shrugging his shoulders. "No, I guess not. I just hate to see the man so down."

That stung a little. She had been friends and co-workers with them a lot longer than Castle had, and it seemed like they were siding with him.

"Did he say when he's coming back?"

Ryan shook his head.

"Well, you don't think he'd leave for good, do you? I mean, he's got a job here, friends... No way would he leave." She hoped she sounded more convincing then she felt.

"I don't know, Beckett. You'd have to ask him," Esposito told her.

Ryan smiled reassuringly. "I doubt if he'll stay away for good. I think it's just like he said, he needs some time away. I know if I broke up with Jenny, I wouldn't be able to be around her without going crazy."

She didn't know what to say to that. Lanie had told them that they knew, but actually talking about it with them felt strange. "Well, that's different. You and Jenny are engaged. Things with us weren't that serious."

"Maybe not to you," Esposito said quietly.

Not knowing how to respond to that, she said, "Castle and I are just, I mean we were just..."

They both looked at her expectantly. Esposito finally asked the question that was on all of their minds. "You were just what?"

She frowned as she tried to even put a name on what they were. Obviously they weren't engaged. Saying he was her boyfriend didn't sound right. 'Just dating?' she thought to herself. Did that fit? They hadn't actually gone on too many dates. The phrase 'I don't know what we were' immediately popped into her head, since it had come up so much with her and Castle in the past. That thought upset her so much that she gave up and changed the subject.

"Never mind. Listen, we better get to work before the Captain comes down here and starts asking questions."

That thought got them moving. "Yo, let's go," Esposito said to Ryan before they both walked over to work on their leads. That left Kate to work the board alone. Determined not to let her personal issues get in the way of doing her job, she forced herself to focus. It wasn't easy.

Soon the guys came back to help her out and they were able to put together enough to warrant bringing in the suspect for questioning. It wasn't a good idea to go alone, and it didn't seem right to take anyone but Castle with her so she had Ryan and Esposito go and pick him up. When they got back, she managed to get through the interview, but her heart wasn't in night she went home and went to bed hoping that Castle would be back to work the next day. She was anxious to talk to him and find a way to rebuild their friendship.

SHE felt a sharp twinge of disappointment when she walked into the station the following day, and the next three days after that, and saw his office light still off. Throwing herself into her work was the only thing that came close to taking her mind off of her problems, so she did so, but it got to the point that when she came in, she felt like she was just going through the motions. It didn't help that she hadn't been sleeping well. Her nightmares were worse than ever, brought on by her stress she assumed. She knew her co-workers felt it to, as she had almost bitten their head's off several times.

When she came in on the fifth day and Esposito and Ryan shook their head's at her questioning look, she decided that she couldn't stand it anymore. She slipped into the break room and took out her cell phone. After sitting there for what seemed like forever, she finally punched in his number. She held her breath, waiting for him to answer. She let it out in a loud sigh when it went to voice mail. "Hey. It's me. Beckett...um Kate. Give me a call." She hung up feeling foolish for stumbling through the message. She sat there nervously for 15 minutes waiting for him to call back. When he didn't, she called again. This time when it went to voice mail she just hung up.

Disappointed, she reluctantly went back to work. She joined Ryan and Esposito at the white board. They didn't seem as upset as she was, but they weren't themselves. The light-hearted banter was missing and they seemed to be careful around her. She would be embarrassed to know that when she wasn't around they talked about her, worrying about how she was holding up.

Often as she worked, she found herself absently looking over for Castle's response, forgetting that he wasn't there. If she thought she had felt stressed leaving work before, when she had to worry about keeping her composure around him, it was nothing compared to the unhappiness she felt as she left work at the end of each day without him.

On the sixth day that he still wasn't there, really started to worry that he might not come back after all. Apparently she wasn't the only one, because shortly after she arrived at work, Ryan and Esposito rushed over to her. They looked around as if trying to make sure no one was listening.

"What's wrong?" she asked confused at their behavior.

Ryan said, "I got here early and I overheard the Captain on the phone. She was leaving a message for Castle and she was not happy. She said that she expected he would be gone a day or two, not a week. Then she said if she didn't hear from him by Monday, he was fired. She sounded dead serious."

Kate felt her stomach drop. The only thing worse than Castle choosing not to come back was if he couldn't come back because he was fired.

"Someone has to do something," she said. They both looked at her. "Hey, don't look at me. I've tried calling him. He doesn't answer and won't return my calls," she added sadly.

"Well, I'm sure he'll get her message and come back, right Bro?" Esposito said.

"Right," Ryan answered.

Kate wasn't so sure. When she left work that day, she sat in her car for several minutes debating on what to do. Making up her mind, she started the car and drove to his loft, hoping to talk him into coming back to work.

TWENTY minutes later, Kate was outside of his door just standing there, afraid to knock. What if he wouldn't talk to her? What if he would, but she wasn't able to say what she wanted to say? She jumped when the door suddenly opened and Alexis stepped out, obviously not realizing that she was at the there.

"What are you doing here?" Alexis asked. She didn't sound mad exactly, but she didn't sound happy to see her. 'Great. Here we go again,' Kate thought.

"I came to talk to your father. Is he home?"

"No."

"Well, do you know when he'll be home? Maybe I can wait for him?"

"Suit yourself, but you'll be waiting a long time. He's out of town."

She frowned at that, not sure whether or not to believe her. It was obvious that she wasn't thrilled with the idea of her talking to him.

"Look, I know you're not happy with me, but I really need to talk to him. It's important."

"Why don't you call him?"

"I did, but he didn't answer."

"I guess that if he wanted to talk to you, he would. But if I talk to him I'll tell him you stopped by," she conceded.

Martha had come cover to find out why Alexis was still standing in the doorway and saw her. "Kate! What are you doing here?" Although the question was the same as Alexis', the tone was much different.

"She was just leaving," Alexis said, looking at Kate defiantly.

"Nonsense. Come on in. Alexis, dear, move out of the doorway." If she hadn't been so nervous about talking to Castle, she would have laughed at the irony of the situation. It was playing out the much the same way as it had before when she had come to talk to him.

Alexis reluctantly stepped back and let her in before closing the door. Apparently she had changed her mind about leaving.

"Is he home?"

"No, I'm afraid he's not. He's out of town for a few days."

She stood there, not knowing what to do. Martha looked at her closely and thought that she looked like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Is something wrong?"

"I need to talk to him. It's important. He's not answering my calls, but maybe if you call him?"

"He's not answering my calls either. Actually I've been concerned about him. I hope he's okay," she said with a worried tone.

"But Gram, you..."

"Maybe you could do me a favor, Kate. He's at his place in the Hamptons. Would you go and check on him for me? Then you could talk to him about whatever it is that's so important."

"Oh, I don't think that's a good idea. Maybe I'll just try calling him again."

Martha grabbed her hand and Kate was surprised to see tears in her eyes. "Please. It's not like him not to answer. What if something has happened to him?"

How could she refuse. Martha had been so good to her, and it was strange that he wasn't answering any of their phone calls. "Okay. I'll go check on him."

"Thank you! You're a life saver. Let me get you the addresss." Ten minutes later, she was on her way home with the address and directions. It was late, so she would have to wait until morning to leave.

As soon as the door shut behind her, Martha turned to Alexis and smiled widely. "I've still got it! Did you see that? I even whipped up tears! Tears!"

Alexis wasn't so excited. "Why did you tell her that? You've talked to Dad everyday. You know he's fine."

"Of course he's not fine. He hasn't been fine since this whole mess with Kate started. And I can tell you, Kate is far from fine. Poor girl looks like she hasn't slept in days."

"You heard her say she's been calling him. Obviously he doesn't want to talk to her. I don't think you should have sent her there."

"Look, maybe she'll go there, tell him what she needs to tell him and leave. But maybe, just maybe, this will give them the chance they need to work things out."

Alexis shook her head and walked out, not happy with her grandmother's match-making attempt. She didn't want her father hurt again.

Martha went to get herself a glass of wine, very proud of herself for thinking up such a clever plan. She sat there wishing she could be a fly on the wall when Kate showed up at her son's door tomorrow morning.