"Blaine," Kurt said for the fifteenth time. Silence. Kurt sighed. "You're ignoring me."
"Now what would make you think that?" Blaine sniffed, slamming his locker shut and stalking away.
"Well, for one thing, the only time you talk to me is when I point out that you're ignoring me."
"I think I have the right to ignore you, don't you agree?"
"No, I don't." Kurt said. Blaine huffed, Kurt's frustration getting him nowhere. Kurt opted to go the rational route. "Blaine, you can't keep being mad at me because of something I did in a dream of yours…"
"Oh, so you admit you did it!" Blaine shrieked.
Kurt jogged to keep up with his boyfriend as he practically ran down the hall. "No, I don't admit I did it, I'm trying to figure out what I did. What, Blaine, please don't cry…"
"It's not exactly like I can help it, Kurt," Blaine said. "I mean, I'm all bloated and I'm sick all the time, and all your friends are being mean to me, and now I can't even sleep without you running off to Dave Karofsky every night!"
Kurt froze, "Why would I ever choose Dave over you?"
"Because he's taller than me and he's on the football team and he loves you and he'd spend every second complimenting your outfits instead of singing inappropriate songs and yelling at you because his back hurts, and because his hair isn't all curly and stupid! The only consolation I had was that you don't like chubby boys, but soon I'll be even fatter than he is and you'll be forced right into those muscly arms, you two timing JERK!"
"Blaine, I would never do that to you," Kurt soothed. "And I can't control what you dream about…"
"Well," Blaine said, straightening up and giving Kurt a look of pure scorn, "That's not my problem. I'm creating your unborn child in my body right now, so I'd say you need to fix this!"
Blaine stalked away; moving his hips in a way Kurt tried desperately not to think was sexy. He loved Blaine, but the boy's hormones made him scarier than five Azimios.
"Oh, hell to the no."
"Mercedes?" Kurt turned to see his best friend practically salivating with rage.
"You're telling me that you aren't pissed at him? I saw him yelling at you just now."
"Blaine's going through a lot right now, I think I can cut him a little slack for being emotional…"
"And what about your emotions, Kurt? You're the baby…. Daddy, here, I think Blaine owes you a little respect. I want to punch him in the stomach."
"MERCEDES!" Kurt yelled, scandalized.
"What, it won't hurt nothing. Just one punch, I'll get Puck…" Mercedes trailed off at the hand Kurt wrapped around her arm. His eyes looked crazed.
"I love you, Mercedes, but if you or anyone else lays a hand on him, I'll… I'll…"
"Okay, all right. Geez, you're so touchy about me, but he can do whatever he wants, I see how it is. Just know that I'll be watching to make sure he treats you right Kurt. And if he doesn't…." Mercedes threw her fist into her palm and beamed at Kurt before stalking away. Kurt stared after her.
"What is wrong with these people?"