"If you give Toothless a fish, he's going to ask for a cup of mead. But Hiccup won't give him some mead, because the last time he let Toothless have a sip of his dad's mead, the Night Fury went on a drunken rampage around Berk that ended in the construction of several new buildings to replace a few that were destroyed.

So Toothless just settles for water.

When you give him the water, he's probably going to ask for a straw. 'Cause, you know, he can't just lap it up with his tongue.

When he's finished, he'll ask for a napkin.

Then he'll wanna have Hiccup smell his breath to make sure he doesn't have fish breath. When he asks Hiccup how his breath smells, he notices that Hiccup has fainted, and decides he needs to brush his teeth. He'll probably ask for a toothbrush. But then he'll realize that he doesn't have opposable thumbs. When Hiccup starts to brush Toothless' teeth, he'll start making a mess because he just remembered that he hates having his teeth brushed.

When he's finished brushing Toothless' teeth, he'll want Toothless to clean up.

When the dragon is done cleaning, he'll probably want to take a nap. And Hiccup will probably have to take a nap as well since Toothless doesn't like to be alone. Toothless will curl up and make himself comfortable with Hiccup in his wings.

He'll probably ask Hiccup to read him a story. So Hiccup will read him a book about theoretical physics to try and bore him and he'll ask to see the pictures. When Toothless finds out that the pictures are boring diagrams and mathematical equations, he'll want to draw his own pictures. He'll ask for paper and charcoal.

And then he remembers that he still doesn't have opposable thumbs, so he has Hiccup draw them for him.

When the picture is finished, he'll want to sign his name with his paw. Even Hiccup was the one who drew everything. Then Toothless will want to hang the picture up on Hiccup's refrigerator, which means he'll need some tape. But his saliva will do just fine.

He'll hang up their drawing and stand back to look at it.

Looking at the refrigerator will remind Toothless that he's really thirsty.

So he'll ask for some water. And chances are if that he asks for some water, he'll want some fish to go with it.

Which is why you should never give Toothless fish," Hiccup said, closing the book.

THWACK!

"Ouch!"

Toothless whacked him upside the head with his tail.

That's not how the story goes!

"Alright, alright, how about this one?"

Toothless huffed and rubbed his belly.

"Once upon a time on an island in a Viking village there was a girl, the prettiest and most beautiful warrior anyone had ever seen. Everyone liked her, especially a handsome young boy and the village Elder. The Elder had made her a little red riding hood. It suited her so well that everyone called her Little Red Riding Hood. One day, having managed not to set off an explosion with her cooking, Little Red Riding Hood decided visit the Elder at the top of the island to see how she was doing and took some desserts along with her. It was getting late, but she thought she could get there in time before nightfall. As she skipped happily along in the darkness, a dragon snuck up to her, ready to snap her up in his jaws if it were not for some Vikings nearby.

'Where are you going?' the dragon asked.

Little Red Riding Hood, the poor girl, who didn't know that dragons were dangerous, replied, 'To see the village Elder at the top of the island to give her some cakes and sweets!

And so the dragon flew as fast as he could to the house at the top of the island and knocked on the Elder's door.

'Who is it?' asked the Elder.

'It is Little Red Riding Hood!' the dragon said in a phony voice.

The bedridden Viking Elder was unable to get up and told the dragon to open the door. The dragon immediately gobbled her up."

Toothless gasped.

"He dressed in her clothes and got into her bed, waiting for Little Red Riding Hood to come so that he could eat her too."

Egad!

"She finally came and knocked on the door.

'Who is it?' the dragon growled.

The dragon's terrible roar scared her, but she believed that the Elder had a sore throat. Little Red Riding Hood answered, 'It is Little Red Riding Hood, Elder! I have brought you some treats!'

'Come in, my dear and join me in bed!' the dragon boomed.

Little Red Riding Hood obeyed and said, 'Elder, what big arms you have!'

The dragon hissed, 'All the better to hug you with!'

'What big legs you have!'

'All the better to run with.'

'What big ears you have!'

'All the better to hear with.'

'What big eyes you have!'

"All the better to see with.'

'What big teeth you have!'

"All the better to EAT you up with!' roared the dragon.

Little Red Riding Hood screamed as loud as possible."

Oh no! Toothless thought.

"Luckily, the handsome young Viking boy happened to be nearby and ran inside," Hiccup said aloud and noticed how into the story Toothless was.

AND?

"It was too late. The dragon ate them all and lived happily ever after. The end," Hiccup finished.

Toothless wiped away tears of joy.

"Toothless, what's wrong?"

I always cry at happy endings.

"You wanna hear an even better story?"

The dragon nodded happily, bouncing up and down on the bed.

"Okay, okay. This is Berk. It's twelve days north of hopeless and a few degrees south of freezing to death. It's located solidly on the meridian of misery..."

This sounds awfully familiar, Toothless noted as he listened intently.

"The boy finally woke up and everyone celebrated his efforts," he finished.

Toothless stared at him.

"To be continued?"

Toothless was outraged.

That's it?

Hiccup laughed, scratching the Night Fury's fins. "Don't you know where this is from?"

The dragon gave a blank stare.

"It's our story, Toothless! It's a story about us!" he grinned, hugging the dragon.

Toothless' eyes widened.

Oh. I knew that. But how does it end?

Hiccup shrugged. "I don't know yet."

As Toothless curled up next to Hiccup's bed later that night, he began brainstorming for more ideas to add to their story.

We'll just have to keep writing.