Holy crap it's been too long since I posted on this story! My deepest deepest apologies ;~; I could give a million excuses but the actual truth is extreme writing block and lack of time. This story is planned but most of it is just being made as I go along so things can change all the time and it takes me a while sometimes to get a grasp on how fast things should be moving and so on. This chapter seemed to drag when I wrote it and it got to a point where I decided it was better to just finish it and post it as it was rather than worry about its length or little details. I had a lot of trouble with this one and I'm sorry that there aren't many major events happening but I don't want major things to be rushed into becuase this will be a long term fic. The events in this chapter kick off some of the more significant ones which is why it was an awkward one to write.
Anyway enough of that, sorry for the wait, I am beginning the writing of the next chapter right away and am on holiday currently from college so hopefully the wait wont be as long for chapter six! Enjoy and please review, this chapter was difficult to write so any feedback would be very helpful.
Hope With Hidden Reason - Chapter Six
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The Harder Parts of Life
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If there had been any extra occupants in the waiting room of the Konoha Superstore Garden Centre that Monday morning, they would be witness to a blonde in his mid-twenties, sat looking pissed off in one of the sleek metal chairs. The room, however, was empty aside from him, so he stewed in his own anger and nervousness, taking note of the room he was sat in to distract himself. It was pretty standard; it existed behind the reception of the large garden centre through a white wooden door. The room itself was also white, with beige accents including a three-piece flowery canvas on the feature wall in various shades of boring brown. There were three chairs and a coffee machine on a table opposite and a floor made up of a thin beige carpet. There was a large clock opposite the blonde, ticking away distractingly and irritatingly.
Sat on a chair that was impossible to get comfortable in, Naruto muttered curses under his breath. That morning had been dramatic, after Sasuke had continued to laugh, he had locked himself in the bathroom and refused to go to the interview, annoyed at Sasuke thinking he could just do whatever he liked and get away with it. It didn't take too long however for Sasuke to coax him out of the room and into a tight hug, where a genuine apology was whispered in his ear. Naruto forgave people quickly, especially Sasuke, and soon he was thrust into a smart shirt and some black trousers and was wolfing down some breakfast while Sasuke fed their woken child. The blonde did not stop the steady flow of glares he sent Sasuke's way however, they were never returned, Sasuke always sent back a look of guilt, which made Naruto's insides squirm, and he soon stopped.
Sasuke often did things out of instinct but often they worked out for the best and whenever they had a fight it was over quickly. Naruto kept seeing a mix of determination, confusion and guilt in the raven's eyes that morning and it was why he hugged his partner tightly and kissed his baby on the forehead lightly before exiting the house and getting on with his life. There was no point brooding on things because it got you nowhere, that's what Naruto believed, however, it didn't stop him brooding while he was sat in the waiting room unable to do much anyway.
"Stupid controlling boyfriend..." He mumbled, arms folded in a cross defensively across his chest as he wriggled in the chair for the hundredth time trying to sit comfortably. He just couldn't relax, he had been told many times that people tended to like him quickly, however he never really understood himself why and interviews made him extremely nervous. He always worried he'd make an idiot of himself, he wasn't good at being formal and he knew he wasn't the most socially equipped man in the world. Making a good impression on people made him self-conscious. He tugged at his collar and gulped, wondering if he should have worn a tie or not. He had no idea when it came to things like this, it was one of the reasons he was so reluctant to quit his job as a cleaner, he was comfortable there and had gotten past an interview.
Deciding there was no point in just sitting any longer, the blonde stood and walked over to the coffee machine and stared at the button blinking on the front of it. His features contorted into a scowl when the thought of coffee led to thoughts of a certain raven haired man and to justify himself he continued to grumble. "Why does he even like coffee? The stupid ass..." He jabbed the button angrily and heard the machinery inside the plastic casing roar into life, yelping when the coffee began coming out. Quickly, he placed a cup there and sighed as he watched it fill, lifting it to his lips and taking a sip. "EURGH!" He grimaced and looked round for somewhere to put the offending cup, setting it down on the table again in a flurry and groaning when some of it spilled. "See everything's going bad already!...and how the fuck can he drink this stuff all day!? Its gross!" He rambled, wiping up the spilt liquid with a paper towel and leaving the table before he could damage anything else, groaning when the taste of coffee remained in his mouth. "Ooooohhh..." He whined and sat back with his arms over his face. This is all Sasuke's fault...he is so being uke next time we do it...I could be having a relaxing day at home right now...playing with the baby...
A smile graced his lips at the thought of a tiny being with fluffy spiky hair and miniature little feet and hands. "Heheh..."
"Mr Uzumaki?"
Flinching, Naruto sat up and removed the arms from his face, seeing a thin man with a pointed face stood by what he assumed was the interview room door. The blonde sighed inwardly. Great, not only am I totally screwed already but now he must think I'm crazy sat here giggling to myself...
Indeed the man was giving him a strange look, he was expecting maybe some scruffy student looking for part time work, what he was seeing was a man in his mid twenties looking terrified and quite ruffled. "My name is Steven Carter, could you please come through to the interview room now." He gave the man a smile and held out a hand to shake, the poor blonde potential employee looked mortified.
Naruto gulped and held forward a shaky hand, oh how he hated handshakes, then fiddled with his collar before heading into the room. Here goes nothing...
The ceiling was a place familiar to most babies, spending most of their infant lives lying on their backs due to the inability to use their frail limbs to sit up, they gazed upon the ceiling frequently. 'The baby' as she was frequently addressed by her surrogate fathers, had seen a few of the ceilings in their home, mainly their bedroom. She liked that ceiling, it was a nice colour, she didn't know what colour it was but it was nice. She was currently on her beanbag looking up at a plain boring standard ceiling though, and unknown to her fretting father who seemed to be acting oddly this morning, she was getting pretty bored of the world above her. She wanted to sit up and be carried, she sensed her new parent's presence somewhere on the other side of the room and squawked loudly, preparing her tiny lungs for a satisfying cry.
Standing near the back of the room by an extremely troublesome pram, Sasuke grimaced when he heard the beginnings of a temper tantrum begin. He dropped the pram quickly and scooted across the room to the baby, looking down at her little red face and sighing at her. "What's the matter?" He mumbled soothingly. I'm bored! The infant thought loudly, though it came out like everything did in a quiet wailing squeak. He snuggled her gently and she hushed. Much better!
Today Sasuke was going to brave the outside world with his new daughter, as he'd promised Naruto he would this morning, and after this morning's events he decided it was best to try and abide by Naruto's wishes. Though, he was fast approaching the decision to ignore such wishes, taking the baby out was a task better left said that done. He didn't know how mothers coped, he was clever yes, but putting up a pram was an impossible task, and Sasuke Uchiha was not about to read the instruction manual, no way. Especially for something he saw tons of woman do one handed, not even looking, while they tended to their kids at the same time. No, he would win the battle with this dammed thing.
He first tried to put the baby down but she wailed loudly when he tried. Instead, he held her with one arm while pulling at the pram with the other, hoping it would somehow right itself. It flopped about uselessly and stayed as collapsed as it came in the box. Sasuke glared at the object and grew more frustrated. The manual lay tauntingly in the box beside him.
He tried once again to no avail and then decided this required two hands, with a sigh he reluctantly placed the infant in her beanbag beside him and thanked his lucky cards when she remained silent, if a little curious when Sasuke grabbed the collapsed pram and tried lifting it, hoping it would fall open. Instead, the whole pram simply lifted into the air, still flat as it came. The Uchiha growled and picked up the manual, it wasn't like anybody knew he was letting down the male race by reading instructions.
"Our little secret." He said seriously to the baby as he sat cross legged and opened the crisp white pages. She looked back at him blankly.
After a few minutes he threw the leaflet aside and stood sceptically over the pram. It can't be that easy... He mused to himself, grabbing a lever to the side of the pram and unwinding it, he raised it by the handles again and it snapped up and into place, dumbfounded he snapped the lever back into place and looked at his now working purchase. No way was it that easy... He thought to himself, deciding that anything popped up by a lever couldn't possibly be safe for his daughter. There were visions in his head of it collapsing as soon as she was put into it. He tentatively pushed the seat of the pram with a hand, biting his lip when it stayed upright. He was still sceptical about its strength. Well, only one way to find out for sure.
Thanking the heavens Naruto wasn't here to witness this, he lowered his own body into the pram, glad he was as slim as he was otherwise it would have been impossible. Once he was seated in the cramped space he waited for a few seconds before sighing. If it hadn't collapsed under his weight then it had to be safe. He stood up again. Or he tried to, realising he wasn't as skinny as he thought when his body remained glued to the pram he was attempting to get free of. He glared at nothing in particular and tried again, getting a bit further before falling back down in a huff, face falling further when he heard a giggle from his daughter.
"Oh that's funny is it?" He said sarcastically, she grinned a gummy grin up at him and he couldn't help but melt a little. Once more he attempted to stand, groaning when he managed it, but crouched over with the pram still stuck to his rear end and lifted into the air. "It is definitely a good job Naruto isn't here." He muttered, not able to keep the embarrassed smile from his face as the baby squealed in delight at the amusing events. He prised the pram from his rear and set it down, bringing the baby up in his arms and to the couch where he'd laid out her coat, shoes and hat. He put the tiny shoes on her feet, they were more a cross between shoes and socks really because of her age, but they would be warm at least. Then he put on the coat Sakura had bought for her, pink with tiny flowers stitched along the sleeves and hem. And lastly the small knitted white bonnet that he'd dug out from the attic and given a clean. It had belonged to his grandmother, then his mother, then Itachi, then him. He looked at her and couldn't help feel saddened and a little angry at the physical reminder of his mother, and the man he was ashamed to call his brother. He gathered the baby into his arms and held her closely, kissing her bonnet covered head as the surging need to protect her replenished itself.
The feeling only grew as he put her in the pram and got his own coat, looking at the door to the house as if it were the enemy as he pushed her towards it. He was about to take her into the outside world. The streets. Out there, there were people, strangers, germs, pollution, murderers, kidnappers, cars, bikes, smoke, rapists, Karin.
"Oh god." He gasped, rubbing the bridge of his nose in frustration. It was now or never. He'd happily take never, but he'd promised Naruto he would take her out and he knew he had a point. She'd have to be taken out at some point; being cooped up inside a house wasn't good for her either. Sighing once more he opened the door and pushed her out onto the front yard, locking the house behind him. "Here we go."
---
There was the occasional time when Sasuke would walk through town and not be distasteful. He might find interest in certain people or buildings or just the vibe of the budding town square, however, in recent light of frustration where he was worrying about his career, his boyfriend and his baby, he was on the edge. Nothing in the town could reach out to him in these moments, he was too busy nervously looking at the baby and everybody who passed him every few seconds, worried any one of them could be a potential rapist or murderer. In reality he was being silly, the baby was fine, the people walking past in suits and school uniforms were safe and on a lazy Monday morning after rush hour, everything was peaceful. Not for Sasuke though, all he could see were people who could hurt his baby, cars that could hit her in the future when she crossed the road to school. Oh god school...that was another worry in itself. Letting her go alone to a building full of other kids that could terrorise her? Maybe she would prefer home tutoring...
He reached the corner of the main road in town and looked up it, it was busier than most and if there was one place he'd rather go to here, it was up this street. As he thought of the place his mouth watered and a need for caffeine came to mind. Was his caffeine addiction worth the stress he'd get taking the baby up this street?
Coffee Coffee Coffee Coffee...
His mantra thought so. However he regretted the decision the moment he began his accent up the street, the pavements were narrow and business men seemed to charge towards him like torpedoes, causing some form of standoff. At the last minute (when Sasuke was close to a heart attack) they'd swerve and duck round the pram and he'd panic. Even more so when gangs of college students on their lunch break did it. One toddler waved and leant towards the pram to look at the baby inside and Sasuke all but died. The notion was cute but every time something came near the pram he turned hot and defensive. He was going crazy...he had to be...he could even hear Naruto in his head telling him to stop being such an uptight asshole and loosen up. It had to be a lack of caffeine, he decided, luckily the scary journey was over when he saw the Starbucks sign on a shop front and quickly went inside.
Thankfully, it was a Monday and it wasn't too busy, most people were still at work and lunch breaks were nearing their end, many people had left and there was just a few scattered about the shop reading or typing on laptops, maybe unaware of the time, or simply too unbothered to care.
He ordered a large cappuccino from a young woman at the till, clearly in training, and eyed up the extras on the counter. Seeing a large chocolate coin he debated buying it so the baby could suck on it. Then again she wouldn't eat all of it, she was only young, and probably couldn't hold it herself, and he wouldn't finish it, he didn't like sweets. Naruto can have the rest. He decided and bought one anyway, taking his drink from the end of the counter and adding three sachets of brown sugar to it, smiling as he anticipated drinking it. Damn he loved Starbucks.
He looked around for a seat, he usually sat upstairs, right at the back in the corner and stared out of the window, trying to write up story plots. He was not getting the pram upstairs however and the option of using the lift wasn't even thought about, instead he wheeled the pram round to the back of the bottom floor, where all the small tables and couches were. He could only see one other person there, not really sparing them a glance as he sat in the set of chairs and tables next to them, setting the pram down right beside him. The baby glanced all around them, clearly interested by the new surroundings. "Trust you to be fearless." Sasuke said quietly to her. "That trait of yours is going to be the death of me one day for sure, especially with Naruto's influence." He smiled worriedly at the thought of the blonde, wondering how his interview was going. He'd be difficult to admit it aloud, but he had every faith in his partner, people gravitated to him and liked him instantly, every enemy he'd made in life became his friend in the end. He just had a way with people. Something Sasuke himself had never possessed.
"MAH!" Sasuke jumped and his head snapped to the baby as she made the loud noise, his heart missing a couple of beats but calming down when he realised she was fine, her eyes trained to something on the table. He followed her line of sight and rolled his eyes when it landed on the shiny gold coin he'd bought.
"Typical, sweet tooth too." He grabbed the coin and ripped half the gold covering off, putting it to the baby's mouth and smiling when she latched onto it eagerly. He propped the other end on her covers so it stayed in her mouth without the need of his help and drank some of his own sugar attacked coffee. He didn't like sweets, but he needed the sugar, coffee was the only thing he could stand sweet. He watched the baby as she sucked on the coin, wondering how she'd react when he took it off her, she wouldn't be able to finish it after all, she probably wouldn't be able to eat any, she just liked the taste.
"I always thought it would be Naruto introducing bad habits, this is surprising."
Sasuke's head snapped up at the voice and went immediately to the only other person in this section of the coffee shop, eyes wondering then furrowing in thought. Sat comfortably in one of the squashy green chairs, holding a coffee and a newspaper, was a busty blonde woman looking at him knowingly. Her amber eyes were looking at the sheets of a newspaper sceptically. Tsunade. Sasuke would bet a large sum of money the woman was reading through the betting pages in the newspaper, trust him to run into her of all people.
"Yeah well...stuff happens." He aid lamely, devoid of any sort of comeback to the blonde who rolled her eyes at him and sniffed pointedly.
"Introducing certain foods from a young age can cause addiction. The saturated fat in chocolate can cause poor cardiovascular health and overdose of sugar can lead to diabetes, obesity, hyperactivity, a poor immune system as well as feeding cancerous cells and aggravating asthma arthritis and multiple sclerosis."
Sasuke was taking in her words and looking at the chocolate coin in the baby's mouth as if it were a scorpion. Tsunade laughed wickedly. "Calm down kid, one little suck on a coin won't hurt her, I'm only kidding with you, besides everybody is allowed a little treat at times." Sasuke glared at her as she circled something on her newspaper absent mindedly, tutting to herself before continuing. "It's not her I'm worried about anyway, it's you."
"What about me!?" He snapped defensively, deciding maybe the baby had had enough chocolate coin anyway and taking it from her mouth, wiping away slobber and chocolate residue with a baby wipe. She stared at her father's face in confusion, wondering where the sweet treat had gone. The woman had now stood and moved herself and her coffee over to his table, sitting opposite him and on the other side of the infant, who looked at the newcomer with curiosity.
"You have an excessive amount of sugar in your coffee, you drink it far too many times a week and you refuse to admit you're addicted to it." She said simply and Sasuke scowled.
"I don't sleep much, it helps." He excused, drinking an extra large gulp as if to emphasise.
"Coffee itself can have health benefits such as reducing risk of Alzheimer's, reducing risk of gallstone disease, Parkinson's disease, it protects the liver etc." She agreed momentarily. "However, the sugar, syrups and creams in Starbucks coffee and such have the same effects if not worse than the chocolate ones."
Defeated, Sasuke once again got defensive. "I didn't ask for a doctor's appointment."
"Speaking of which, how long has it been since you had any form of check-up?"
"Stop acting like you're my mum or something! God, you sound like Naruto!"
The blonde woman chuckled lightly, pulling out a silver hipflask from her handbag and pouring some of the contents into her tall glass of coffee. "Fucking hypocrite." Sasuke muttered under his breath, though the woman heard.
"On the contrary-"
"Tsunade, I don't care what positive benefit alcohol brings okay." He cut her off, she only smiled further.
"Well, worth a try." She looked at the baby, setting down her newspaper and Sasuke snorted when he realised he had been right and it was open on a betting page, several things circled in a red pen. "So, this is the little runt Sakura and Naruto have been raving on to me about. I haven't been able to get out of the hospital to see her."
"But you can afford time to lounge in Starbucks."
"Kid, this is the one long lunch break I get all week, don't make me hurt you."
Sasuke was brave but not stupid; this woman was wicked and strong. He wouldn't chance pushing his luck.
"Hn."
"Still socially inept then?"
Sasuke didn't answer.
"You're gunna have to learn to loosen up and get rid of your pride Sasuke. In a few years she'll have you pretending to be a monster, making you chase her around the playground roaring and diving through bushes to catch her. She'll announce embarrassing things in public, probably pee her pants a couple of times in all the worst places. She'll have you dressing up and doing your hair and nails with her." Tsunade grinned, the image of Sasuke in a feathery hat with lipstick smeared on his pasty white face and looking mortified was an absolute delight in her head.
"Well when the time comes...Naruto can do it."
"The time is already here. Did you know at one month old she can already lift her head up for short periods of time, learn to recognise faces and focus on specific things with her eyes? She can recognise tunes and toys and she can make noises to try and communicate with you. Some babies at one month can squeal or laugh, though not many."
"She can." The raven said, not able to stop himself feeling proud of her. "She laughs all the time, and shouts for things when she wants them, and pulls herself when you hold her hands, she can keep her head up for quite a while too." Tsunade smiled, seeing the proud father look Sasuke's voice and expression was emanating. She had a feeling this baby would help Sasuke just as much as he would help her. To be true, the kid needed something to put his hopes into again, Naruto did too.
"She's gonna be a strong girl. I'll have Sakura give her some self defence tips."
"She'd be dangerous." Sasuke smiled, looking at the child, who was staring at the ceiling lights. "What are you doing!?" He then squawked when Tsunade made a move towards her.
"She can also teach you a few things." She told him, unbuckling her harnesses while Sasuke hyperventilated. "Like how to trust people." She lifted the baby from the pram and smiled at her. "And sit down kid! I'm holding her, not setting her on fire or something!" Sasuke looked at himself, now realising he'd even stood up, in a half crouch position as if he was going to snatch back the baby from her arms. He sat down stiffly and watched while the blonde cooed at the infant, who tried to grab her fingers and chew on them.
"Hm. She really is alike to her parents." Tsunade spoke quietly, in a moment of sad reflection, she was looking at the baby and seeing Haku. Being the top doctor in the world meant she knew most of the police force well, working on the ambulance teams at the scene of the more serious crimes. She had also known Haku and Zabuza though Naruto of course, whom she'd known since he was a child, through the silly and perverted godfather of his, Jiraiya. It was terribly sad, what had happened to her parents. She saw it a lot, children, grandparents, husbands, wives, all dying in front of her when despite everything, they just couldn't be saved by surgery or medicine. It was just their time to go. She was the one who would tell their family the bad news, if the poor soul had any. It was sometimes more heart wrenching to have to see their life end and know that nobody would even mourn. Haku and Zabuza's deaths had been personal to her. She'd arrived on the scene but somehow there was this feeling in her gut that it was too late. The minute she heard 'Akatsuki' her blood had boiled. They were responsible for so many deaths, so many lives she had failed to save. As soon as she'd seen her friends bodies slumped on the ground and covered in blood she knew it was too late. Even so, she'd tried everything in her will to bring them back, with no success. She watched two honourable people, two friends and two brilliant police workers die before her.
And now this little girl was left behind.
The baby slobbered on her fingers eagerly and she chuckled, taking them from her mouth. "Dear, I operated on somebody with those hands an hour ago, I'm not sure you want to do that." I tried to save your parents lives with these hands just over a month ago. Also went through her mind, though she tried to toss away the thought. She was glad she had a strong heart to put her at ease. "Besides you'll ruin my nails getting them covered in chocolate goop! And SASUKE sit down!" She scolded when Sasuke seemed to be having trouble not falling from his seat, she thought he'd been doing relatively well, waiting stiffly while she held the baby, until she'd mentioned the operating on someone an hour ago. Maybe that had been a mistake. "For goodness sake Uchiha! I do wash my hands and use antibacterial gel you know! I'm a world renown surgeon and doctor, don't think I can't handle a month old baby who can't even sit up yet! I've brought hundreds of babies into this world!"
Feeling thoroughly told off, Sasuke sat back in the seat and tried to relax, feeling embarrassed. He knew he was protective but surely this was too far, he couldn't help it. He just kept replaying Chouza Akimichi's words back in his head again and again. He wouldn't be his brother, he had to protect this child.
"That's a dark look you have in your eye there Uchiha." Tsunade sighed, standing and noticing how rigid the younger man became, she handed the baby to him and watched as he almost desperately took her back and clutched her to his chest. The baby certainly wasn't complaining but the wiser woman gave a slightly sad look. She did feel sorry for both of them, both abandoned as kids and with little family. She could see Sasuke was having trouble coping, it was terribly obvious, but being typically stubborn, he was hard to crack. If your brother had killed you whole family and ran away with the biggest criminal organization, it would do things to your mind too. "Sasuke." She spoke and he looked up at the woman above him, she noticed the sorrow in his eyes, the sleepless nights were visible in the dark circles on the once pristine face. "I know you've heard it all before but you've not heard it enough. There are people who will help you with what you're going through. And before you try, don't say you're not going through anything or don't need help because I see you clinging to that child as if she'd going to disappear any minute."
Sasuke, who had opened his mouth to say exactly that, closed it again and looked down into his daughter's hair, a sudden overwhelming feeling of sadness engulfing him. Not even looking up when Tsunade continued, gathering her bag and newspaper. "Look kid. I know he acts clueless at times, but stick with Naruto okay? He's good for you. And he's as much of a stubborn ass as you and wouldn't admit it but he needs you too." She swing her handbag onto her shoulder and checked her makeup with a compact mirror, smiling sadly at the wrinkle she could see forming, she should have many more but she aged very well due to skin creams she had used her genius brain to create, but would not share with the world. She took another look down at the man, who tried to look strong and independent; who once did. Now he looked desperate and clingy and hopeless. "Yeah." She sighed. "What would an old bat like me know right? I'll tell you what, I'm not you, but I know firsthand, life's a bitch. You gotta fight back with all you've got." With that she said a short goodbye and waved lazily over her shoulder as she set off to leave. She didn't look back but she somehow sensed the Uchiha would be watching her go sadly. She exited the shop feeling far lonelier than she entered and wondering about the Uchiha boy looking like a lost child. Just like everybody else...he just needs a mother to love him.
About ten minutes later, Sasuke Uchiha put his baby in the pram and left the coffee shop silently, the only feature of his stony face that changed was his lips, which parted into a lonely smile when the baby fell asleep on the walk home and began snoring lightly.
Naruto took his phone out of his pocket and frustratedly dialled numbers before putting it to his ear. The phone rang a couple of times and he stormed down the street frustratedly before the person on the other end of the line picked up.
"KIBA!" He shouted when he heard a muffled 'hello' from down the phone.
"Woah! Dude what have I done this time?!"
"Nothing! Look, are you busy right now?"
"Getting something to eat with Hinata in Mandy Moo's. Why man, what's up?"
"Do you mind if I invade for a while?"
"Uh, no, sure."
"I'll be there in five." He said determinedly and hung up before he got a reply, picking up his steady pace and turning down another street, resisting the urge to punch an innocent lamppost as he passed it.
The interview, in his opinion, could not have gone worse. The guy interviewing him didn't really talk much, so naturally he felt he had to fill in the uncomfortable silence by talking enough for both of them. So then he was babbling, he picked at his shirt so much he managed to pull one or two of the buttons off. He couldn't even remember half of the answers he gave, he was sure he just blurted out the first thing that came to mind when he was questioned. At one point he spilt water all over the desk. Why would anybody hire him? This is exactly why he didn't want to quit his old job even if it wasn't very interesting. He'd told Sasuke that but he'd meddled anyway and here he was, going to invade a friend's day out with his girlfriend because he wanted to let off some steam.
He reached the milkshake bar in four minutes; he'd counted off the seconds to keep his head from blowing up. He entered the place, first marching up to the bar and ordering an extra large red bean paste and coconut milk milkshake before locating his friends and flinging himself down at their table. He let the two members of the table give strange looks as he slurped his milkshake down angrily and then sighed as the sweetness calmed him. He looked up to see Kiba giving him an odd glance and Hinata a slightly concerned one. They were sat together with Kiba's arm over Hinata's shoulder; she was leaning on him slightly. They looked...happy, he was sort of regretting interrupting their day now. He wished things were normal so he could be this way with Sasuke again. Well, so he could secretly hold Sasuke's hand under the table and give him cheeky pinches in cheeky places when he wasn't expecting it...then Sasuke would turn round and smack him, so he'd just turn it around and say something perverted until Sasuke blushed, which he found adorable and on a good day he could put his arm round him and Sasuke wouldn't mind...
"Naruto? HELLOO?"
"SORRY!" He snapped out of his momentary daze and hit himself in the forehead. Damn, he was meant to be annoyed at Sasuke and instead he was sitting here wasting his friends' time by thinking gushy thoughts about him! "I'm sorry for invading and all too guys I just need help and Sakura's always busy saving lives and all and Gaara doesn't talk much but I dunno, I think I need someone to give me a smack across the head and tell me life's okay and I thought of you!"
"Well, thanks." Kiba frowned and smacked Naruto in the forehead, after blinking away the stars the blonde erupted.
"HEY! THAT HURT!"
"Sorry Naruto-Kun!" Hinata apologised for Kiba, who was busy laughing at Naruto cradling his head and giving puppy dog eyes to Hinata's disapproving look.
"He did ask for it!" Kiba insisted and then sighed, ignoring his blonde friend's pout. "So really, what are you all pissed off at?"
"Sasuke!"
"YES! I knew it! Lee just lost five quid!" Kiba cheered, pulling out his phone to text his unfortunate friend, all the while ignoring the disapproving stares of the two other table occupants. When he raised his head his face fell. "Whaaaat?" He whined.
"You bet on my personal problems!?" Naruto groaned; letting his head hit the table. Why oh why did he call Kiba? "Hinata, your boyfriend's an asshole!"
"Awh, come on! Lee was talking to Hinata when I was talking to you and he wanted to know what all the shouting was about – by the way he could hear you through two phones dude – and so I told him you were angry over something and bet him it was Sasuke because let's face it, it's always Sasuke!"
"Hinata, remind me to buy Lee an extra large curry the next time we go out." Naruto mumbled to Hinata, glad at least one of his friends had a little faith in his relationship.
"Aw, I didn't realise you were this angry, I'm sorry man I'll stop. What's the bastard done this time?" Kiba asked, sensing Naruto's fiery attitude burning into a tiny flicker.
"Exactly that...been a bastard. I had a job interview today."
"You're changing jobs?"
"I didn't want to! The prick quit my job for me and got me a new one without telling me and sprung the fact I had an interview today on me this morning! I hate interviews! I always screw them up and I totally screwed this one up and I'm going to end up with no job now..." He slurped his drink before head butting the table again, letting the cool metal settle his aching forehead.
"Tch...typical of him." Kiba muttered, irritated by his friend's partner. He'd always had a grudge against Sasuke. He knew him and Naruto were in love and all and things hadn't been smooth for either of them but Sasuke had hurt Naruto a lot in the past. Even though his blonde friend had explained Sasuke was going through a lot and couldn't make sense of it all and that's why he'd done it, he still had a little resentment.
"I knoooooow!" Naruto whined and Hinata stepped in, ever the one to solve things when men were being emotionally constipated and failing to sympathise.
"Naruto, I'm sure Sasuke wouldn't have done what he did unless he had faith that you would get the job. He probably hasn't doubted you for one minute even if you'd doubt yourself. Plus maybe he only told you this morning so you weren't worrying for the whole weekend about it."
Naruto twiddled a strand of his hair idly, stewing over her words, a part of him believed all that, and had done since he'd been told, however another part was just plain angry.
"He's still a bastard." Kiba added. Yep, there was the other part.
"Kiba! Look Naruto, you may think you've screwed up but you tend to be...likeable to people and you work well on last minute's notice; you're good at gut instinct and going off intuition. Sasuke knows that. He just wants what's best for you, even if he may have gone about it the wrong way." Hinata argued and Naruto was leaning towards forgiving Sasuke until...
"Yeah but the guy is being a complete control freak! Naruto can control his own life and job if he wants to!"
"But-" Hinata cut in quickly as Naruto's mind threatened to fry from the two sides of an argument...it was like having a little devil and angel on his shoulders... "Naruto, you do tend to be quite...stubborn, we all know that, and Sasuke wants the best for you but you wouldn't let him try so he had to be forceful. It's always been that way between you, it's why you are so good together; you push through each other's insecurities."
The argument pondered in his head, Kiba had stayed a quiet if a reasonably annoyed presence, when the whole 'insecurity' topic was mentioned and Naruto felt a little uncertainty stir up in his stomach, which he cooled with a large slurp red bean and coconut milk. Hinata had won, why were women always right? He was glad she was here and it hadn't just been him and Kiba, because he would have gone home angry. He needed them both, to let out some ager but be pulled in by Hinata's reality check. It was partly his own insecurities causing the problem. He knew he could get a better job, he could do a lot better...but he just had a weakness about interviews, about anything formal like that. He liked a challenge yes but he didn't like to fail. He could see Sasuke was sorry this morning...he needed to grow up and accept double the blame, they were both stressed out lately, and it was easy to blow things out of proportion and cause problems all over again.
"Mmm...Hinata you're right." He mumbled into the table and heard Kiba sigh loudly.
"As always..."
"Kiba you're right too, just not as much as Hinata." He grinned, sitting back up and stretching tiredly. "Well, I need to go home to said bastard now, see if he kept his promise about taking the baby out for a walk. I bet it took him at least an hour to get her out of the front door."
"Give our love to her." Hinata smiled and the blonde smiled back at her.
"Will do! Listen, thanks guys for the advice, or the smack across the head in Kiba's case, sorry for invading again."
"Any time it's what I'm here for!" Kiba grinned back toothily and held out a fist which Naruto hit with his own, smirking back at him.
"We're always here to talk Naruto, it's no problem." Hinata assured, standing to kiss his cheek before sitting down with Kiba. Naruto rolled his eyes and touched his chest with an innocent expression.
"Aww, remember when you used to have a major crush on me!?" He looked off into space as if he were reminiscing as Hinata blushed and Kiba rolled his eyes.
"That was a long time ago Naruto..." She mumbled and her boyfriend kissed the side of her face, grinning up at Naruto challengingly.
"Well I got this beautiful girl and you got a moody bastard so I guess I win."
Naruto snorted and grabbed his drink from the table. "Well Sasuke gets this gorgeous blonde bombshell and Hinata got a smelly dog so I guess I win."
"Hey leave Akamaru alone!" Kiba called as Naruto turned to leave.
"Who said anything about Akamaru?!" Naruto grinned over his shoulder and then ran from the shop when Kiba stood to chase him, another smack to the head on offer.
---
Naruto felt a lot better as he walked home, so much better that he stopped in at the local bakery on the way home. His sweet drink had ran out and he was still in the mood for sugar, so he got a selection of cakes wrapped in a box to take home with him to share with his moody bastard boyfriend. Sasuke claimed to hate sweets but Naruto always suspected him to be a liar, he was sure it was something to do with Sasuke's brother, he wasn't sure what exactly, but it was more of Sasuke's refusal to eat sweets rather than the fact he disliked the taste. He'd caught Sasuke more than enough times putting about five sugars in his coffee to know.
"Crazy fuck." Naruto sighed, looking up at the dying sky with a sad smile on his face. Sometimes he wondered what really went on in the raven's head.
I stand in the kitchen where this morning you and Naruto Uzumaki had a fight. There is still the empty ramen cup he ate quickly while he shouted at you. You tried not to shout back. You apologised. There was a period of time where you wouldn't care, he's changed you. You are becoming more and more like the five year old I used to know.
I ghost over the tiles, brushing an empty coffee cup with my hands and let myself feel the cool temperature of the ceramic. The text on the mug reads 'World's grumpiest boyfriend!' - a present from Naruto last valentine's day. I've long lost my taste for coffee, for anything. Now I eat and drink because I must. It surprises me somewhat that you take your coffee with so much sugar, ever since the incident, you aimed to be the complete opposite of me. I love sweet things, therefore you hate them. I know though, the sugar helps you stay awake in those long lonely early mornings in your office, or it once did, until your body grew so used to it that your exhaustion levels are normal now even with the sugar. It's now just a comfort addiction. Causing bitter amusement, I pick up the sugar jar and carry it with me - a private joke between me myself and I...
I leave the kitchen slowly, taking my time, I will be informed if you are on your way back – my partner knows when to let me know. I make sure my fingertips touch everything they can on my way out, the table where you eat breakfast, the ramen filled cupboards, the tomatoes in the fruit bowl. I leave my mark on everything, just to prove I've been there and though you won't know, I will.
The living room is next and I run my tainted hands over the back of the couch, over the stain Naruto made with chocolate sauce, which you scolded him for but pretended not to care, then sneaked downstairs at three am to scrub at it furiously. The fabric is a little worn from your harsh treatment. The cushions, still messy where you lay with the baby this morning, where Naruto flung himself down to eat his breakfast. The coffee table, covered in odd tit bits from chopsticks, dummies, baby toys, magazines and one of your first mangas. It's a shame I don't have the time to read it, you'll be home soon. I pick it up nevertheless and flick through, your art style is undeniably you, sharp and angular and dark. The characters hold a lot of emotion and lead complex lives. There's always one that has a simple life too, one that everybody loves. The person you want to be? Naruto?
I lay the book down in the position I found it, I could solve a thousand cryptic puzzles but I won't get started. I've always been able to solve you, you're my favourite puzzle.
The mirror on the wall catches my eye, and I catch my reflection back, walking towards the fireplace it's above. My expression holds nothing to an unknowing eye, just a pale face and worn grey eyes with stationary lips. You would always read me when we were little; then again, I was more alive back then.
Before I killed everybody.
I leave the mirror when a ball of anger threatens to emerge from my chest and smash it. It's time for me to leave now anyway, but before that I silently walk upstairs. The room I end up in is newly decorated and covered in photographs of various people, mostly the same. I brush my fingers over the glass showing one of two people and their new baby. I killed them. I destroyed their family, just like I destroyed ours. What would you do if you found me here? If you watched me feel the silk on the baby's pillow, the pillow you won't even let her sleep on yet because it means she will be in a different room to you? I've seen the way you protect her, you won't let her out of your sight. Are you afraid I'll get to her?
Unfortunately, little brother, I will.
The sound of keys in the door signalled Sasuke's return to the house, he made his way inside, shut it gently behind him and turned to the baby. She had fallen asleep on the way home, her tiny face sucking on a dummy and her fingers twitching occasionally. He crouched down in front of her and lightly curled his finger round some of her fluffy hair before letting it run along her cheek. His face was solemn, still thinking about his encounter in the coffee shop that had left him feeling stirred up inside. He momentarily wished he was in the baby's tiny shoes, with everybody else watching over her and protecting her while she slept soundly. Then he felt selfish and shook it off, there was no use in thinking that, it wouldn't happen.
He undid her harness and gently scooped her up into his arms; she stirred a little but fell back into a routine of short snores when her head curled into her father's chest. He gave her a squeeze and closed his eyes tightly, inhaling the baby powder smell. How did one encounter with Tsunade leave him feeling this...vulnerable?
Turning to go sit on the couch, he stopped dead in his tracks. A hot feeling of fear and surprise quickly ran from his head to his toes. It was the same feeling you got when you missed a step walking downstairs and for a moment think you're going to fall.
He could have sworn he just saw somebody.
He let out the breath he'd been holding and blinked a few times, the house looked as empty as he left it. He was sure though, he'd seen a figure move up the stairs. The prickly fearful feeling retuned and he clutched the baby tighter, paranoia now filling his mind. He tried telling himself he was only seeing things, after all, nothing moved that fast. Despite what he told himself though, images of burglars and criminals and, oh god, his brother, just kept flashing through his thoughts. His heartbeat sped up dramatically and he willed his legs not to shake. There was still no proof anybody was in his house, the door had been locked and no windows were open, there was no signs of tampering of theft. There was nobody apart from him here.
"N-Naruto?" He called, his voice a lot smaller than he'd remembered it. After nothing answered him he cleared his throat and called again. "Naruto!?" He listened, biting his lip, but heard nothing, only pressing silence. If there had been somebody, they would probably have been startled or make a noise by now, nobody could be this quiet, right? He slowly moved to the couch and sat down, still clinging to his child. He knew, if he was Naruto at this minute, he would bound up the stairs, shouting for all he was worth and threatening to kick the ass of anybody in their house. Holding his new child though, and suffering from his already high levels of paranoia, he couldn't bring himself to move now he had managed to sit down. He could only sit stiffly and rock back and forth a little; eyes clenched and body tense with dread. He was frozen, the last time he had felt like this was a long time ago, the last time everything he had known was taken away from him.
He breathed a little heavier as he forced any tears or sounds to stay deep inside his body, he could not bring himself to be that weak. He could feel the pressing panic attack enforcing itself and wondered how on earth this was happening so quickly. This was Itachi doing this to him. The man he always tried to keep right at the back of his mind and not let out. The mere thought of him here, in this house, next to his child, so close he could take the life from her baby lungs with a single blow...the thought was too much for Sasuke's mind to comprehend. He inhaled the baby's scent, repeating the same words in his head over and over while he rocked back and forth:
Please come home Naruto.
All he needed was Naruto right now, to complete the picture, to give him some strength and take away the paranoia that struck him sharply with every tiny noise his sensitive ears picked up. His mind was turning ordinary, usually ignored house noises into the sounds of footsteps and people moving around upstairs. What was worse was the voice of his own head too, not only whispering possibilities of Itachi and the rest of Akatsuki coming back to destroy his life once again but shouting insults and put downs into his ear.
You're so fucking weak. What happened to you?!
This is Naruto! He's turned you soft!
Sat here holding a baby and rocking back and forth like some mental case!
Fucking coward.
You failed to save your family once and he'll get you again if you carry on like this.
He's upstairs.
He'll get you.
An audible sound left his mouth, somewhere between a gasp and choking sound, breathing was getting dreadfully difficult. He just had to keep rocking. Back. Forth. Back. Forth. Back. Forth...
"Hey baby! I'm home!" Naruto burst in through the door after unlocking it noisily and turned left into the kitchen area. "And by baby I meant our baby! Not you, you're still a bastard! But even though you are, I still brought you some ca...ke...Sasuke?" Naruto staggered at the end of the sentence after catching a glimpse of his lover and sensing something wasn't right. He set the bag down on the kitchen table and began to walk over. Sasuke was just, sat there; he wasn't moving, wasn't talking or even looking at him. If the man wasn't sat so stiffly and posed he would have assumed he had fallen asleep holding the baby to him. "Sas?" He said again, leaning over the back of the couch to look at his lovers face and feeling his mouth fall open a little. For a second he caught raw emotion in the black eyes of his boyfriend before he finally moved and turned his face away. There had been a look of frustration, fear and insecurity...he'd just looked...lost. It was so unlike him. "Are you okay?" The blonde asked. "What's wrong?"
Instead of answering, Naruto straightened up as Sasuke stood, moving around the back of the sofa and surprising Naruto by walking quickly to him and hugging him tightly with the arm that wasn't holding the baby. He even buried his face into the blondes shoulder and let out a breath that sounded like it had been held for a long time. Naruto, speechless, just hugged him back securely, kissing the side of his boyfriends head and wondering what on earth had happened. "Sas-"
"Don't talk." The raven said quietly, making Naruto jump and double take at the meekness of it. "Just let me...just..." He finished with a frustrated loss of words and just squeezed him tight as he could without squashing the baby in his arms. Naruto did as he was asked and just let the raven hold him, taking comfort in the embrace too. He gave it a minute before sighing and pulling back, forcing Sasuke to look at him. He could see that already a lot of the previous emotion was gone, shielded behind his eyes and locked away like he always locked everything away.
"What happened?" Naruto asked, pressing his forehead to the raven's slightly clammy one.
"It's...it's nothing...I just thought...nothing."
"Don't lie, Sasuke." The blonde said sternly when the raven dodged giving him an answer.
"I'm not! I just...it's okay now. I'm okay, just leave it I don't wanna think..." He insisted and pulled away, sitting down at the table, still holding the baby, although a little looser than before.
"Are you sure?" Naruto asked, he wouldn't let him get away with it completely but if he didn't want to talk right now then he'd wait until he was ready.
"Yeah." Sasuke nodded, peering inside the bag. "Why'd you buy cake? You know I hate sweets."
"Chyeah!" Naruto snorted. "I may not be the brightest bulb in the box-"
"No kidding."
Well he certainly recovered quickly. The blonde shot him a glare.
"Ahem...but I know sugar is in sweets and you put tons of sugar in your coffee."
"That's different."
"Suuuuuure it is." Naruto rolled his eyes and moved to take the baby; he'd missed her cute little face all day. When he reached to take her from Sasuke however he froze and wouldn't budge. "Uh Sas, can you pass me her, I haven't seen her all day?" The raven seemed to struggle with a reply and pulled her back a little but didn't hand her to him. Naruto sighed. "Sasuke. Are you sure you're okay?" The raven muttered something unintelligible and after a few seconds held their daughter out towards the blonde. He smiled as she was handed to him and held her above his head, cooing to her enthusiastically and watching her wake a little more from her half-asleep state. It was only when he looked at Sasuke that he stopped.
The raven looked completely white, his arms were shaking and the emotion that he had shielded away was back. Realising his mistake, he looked away and folded his arms quickly, not quick enough for Naruto. "Sasuke why are your arms shaking like that? You look like you're about to pass out!" Sasuke didn't answer, just continued to look away pointedly. "How long were you holding the baby up like that?" After a long pause he answered.
"An hour."
"You held the baby all tightly sat up like that for an entire hour? No wonder you're shaking! You're muscles will be knackered! Why did you do that?!" Naruto exclaimed. When he received no answers again he sighed and kissed the raven's forehead before looking down at the wriggling baby in his arms. "She could need changing...we left the changing mat upstairs, I'll go get it." He turned to leave but halted when he was suddenly grabbed from behind and 'don't!' was hissed urgently.
Something was definitely wrong. There was no way on earth Sasuke would ever act like this unless something big had happened...something like...but no, that couldn't be...he couldn't have been here...
"Sasuke." Naruto said seriously, not turning round. "Tell me what happened." He waited for an answer with a poise that made it clear he wouldn't move until he got one. He could feel Sasuke's hand trembling on his back and his face softened a little, he stepped back into the touch and continued more gently. "Tell me, Sasuke."
"I thought...I thought I saw...him." The raven whispered, head bowed in shame over his feelings of weakness. Naruto's stomach grew hot as his worry was confirmed.
"Sasuke! Why didn't you say so! Where did you see him?! Have you rung the police!? Oh god Sasuke has he hurt you?!"
"No...no!...No!" Sasuke muttered and then shrieked as he grabbed Naruto's head between his hands and pulled him into another fierce hug. "Stop it! Stop shouting...please..." He pleaded as if anything spoken with volume was painful. Naruto took a deep breath and willed his heart to calm itself, no wonder Sasuke was acting strange.
"Where did you see him, Sas?"
"I thought I did...I really did but...I don't think he was there...I don't know! It was just out of the corner of my eye I was sure I had but...I saw somebody go upstairs..."
"Are you sure?"
"No."
The blonde sighed and squeezed Sasuke tightly, pulling him to the couch and handing him the baby (which he clung to protectively) before kneeling in front of him.
"Listen," He began. "You're safe right now okay? If he was here, he'd be gone by now, he wouldn't have waited around. By the sounds of it you're just seeing things and getting paranoid Sas, you need to rest more. There is nobody in this house right now that would hurt us or the baby, and if there is, then I will kick their ass and throw them out of the bedroom window. You have nothing to panic over." He looked his boyfriend in the eye all the way through his reassuring and then squeezed his arms tightly. "I'm gonna go check, okay?"
The fear lit up again in Sasuke's black eyes and Naruto shot him a determined look, meekly he nodded and cuddled the baby for comfort. Naruto bit his lip at the odd weakness the mere thought of Itachi being here had caused. He kissed Sasuke's head before turning to ascend the stairs.
.
.
I saw you walking upstairs loudly, trying to alert any would-be intruder to your presence. You cautiously checked each room, not letting fear overtake you. You won't find anybody, I had left long ago, however your will to protect my brother is strong. He will always try to fight you but you always try to protect him. I do not need to do anything physical to hurt him, the thought of me is enough.
You cannot protect him from himself.
.
.
Naruto stood in the centre of the baby's room and exhaled loudly, he had of course, found nobody, just as he thought he wouldn't. He knew how paranoid Sasuke could get when his brother was in question; he turned into a completely different person. Naruto hated to see him like that, as much as an antisocial, proud and independent Sasuke could be a handful but he was also strong, funny and protective. Itachi turned him into a wreck, or a hostile runaway that wanted nothing to do with him.
Some insecurity bubbled up inside him as he remembered the past, when Sasuke had left him the first time. They were memories he never liked to look back on, they raised fear inside him of it ever happening again. He would have to keep an eye on Sasuke from now on, when he was going through funny moods, he could be unpredictable. Today's clinginess could turn to hostility and isolation tomorrow, after Sasuke had realised how weak he'd felt. He'd grow embarrassed and defensive. Protectiveness surged inside the blonde, cursing the nature of proud Uchiha blood.
"NYAH!" He yelped loudly when something brushed along his back, he spun round wildly, ready to defend himself but froze when he saw Sasuke. He really saw Sasuke. The raven's eyes were wider than normal and spoke of terror, a look Naruto wasn't used to seeing from the usually quiet eyes. He was shaking, goodness knows how he'd managed the stairs, but Naruto had a feeling the usually stoic appearing man was scared to be left alone.
Naruto breathed out slowly and cupped Sasuke's face with his hands with a sad look, he made sure to look right into those terrified eyes. "Sasuke." He said surely, "There is nobody here." He tucked a lock of hair behind a pale ear and caressed the baby's fluffy head, looking between the members of his small and precious family. "Nobody is in the house, we're safe. The baby is safe, I'm safe and so are you so just calm down, you're really worrying me." There was a pleading tone to the blonde's voice, Sasuke was genuinely scaring him acting like this, it was as if he was a different person altogether.
Sasuke kept staring with a slightly shocked look and his stillness faltered slightly before he let out a shuddering breath (one that sounded like it had been held for too long) and fell into Naruto's arms. The blonde steadied him and the baby whilst whispering reassurances into his ear, wondering if his love was crying, it sounded like somebody crying but knowing Sasuke, he'd be forcing the liquid to remain in his eyes. The baby however, began crying and Naruto prised her from Sasuke's arms and rocked her gently while he continued to console his partner, who with both arms now free, was clinging onto him desperately as if he'd disappear if he were to let go. He felt his eyes prickling and tried to blink the oncoming tears away, he, like Sasuke, wasn't afraid to cry, but right now, he wanted to be strong. Sasuke was scared and upset and he wanted to be the one Sasuke depended on of strength and kept him together. Just seeing Sasuke like this though, knowing that he was filled with such horrible feelings and thoughts from one tiny imaginary sighting of his brother, it hurt him. It hurt him that Sasuke had lost all his family and that the man responsible was still alive and terrorising him to this day. It hurt him to see the paranoia and the desperate need to strive for perfection Sasuke always carried about him, as if he were trying to be perfect, trying to be everything his brother wasn't. It made Naruto's heart ache and just feeling him shuddering into his shoulder and breaking down so that he could hardly stand, it was just too much.
He sniffed loudly, almost inhaling the salty tears that had long since left his eyelids and ran down his face. He stopped feeling guilty for crying when he was meant to be strong. His shoulder was still dry which meat Sasuke couldn't cry still, so Naruto would cry for him and show him it was okay. The baby, too, carried on crying with them, unhappy in the upsetting atmosphere her fathers were creating. Naruto was unsuccessful shushing her, he smiled sadly at the thought of him needing 'magic arms' like Sasuke and kissed the side of her tiny head. "Sas." He said gently. "Come here, I need to calm her and you need to sit down." The raven stood a little bit and Naruto manoeuvred them to the wooden chair underneath the window. He sat Sasuke down and moved the baby to a better position in his arms, then lying her on a changing mat and changing her nappy efficiently. He'd got pretty good at it, being a fast learner, Sasuke was perfect with everything but he hadn't learn how to change a nappy as well as Naruto as quickly. When she was changed he pulled a baby grow out of the drawer and dressed her before lying her on her back in the unused cot and turning on the mobile that hung above it. She blinked up at the tiny dangling clouds and frogs and seemed lulled by the tinkling melodies it played as it rotated.
With a breath, he turned back to Sasuke and was not surprised to see him hunched over slightly, head in his hands with a sombre dead look, peeking through his fingers to watch the baby in her cot. Naruto walked over to him and knelt down in front of him, shocked by how tense his legs felt despite the sedated look he had now. "You can relax Sasuke." Naruto told him, knowing this tenseness was caused by the baby being out of reach. "We can't hold her all the time, she's just there, we can reach her in a second - she's safe." He felt the muscles under his hand flex as Sasuke moved, clenching his fists and bowing his head so his forehead touched the one covered in blonde hair in front of him. Naruto could tell he was trying not to cry again and touched his head affectionately, shocked when the tension broke and he spoke, voice very weak and raspy as if he had been crying all this time.
"He was so fast."
Naruto furrowed his brows and sighed, cupping the ravens face again and staring at the clenched fists in his lap. "Sasuke, he wasn't really there, what you saw wasn't real." The stillness carried on, accompanied only by the soft lullaby in the cot.
"It felt so real." There was a desperate loss of hope to his tone and Naruto couldn't hold himself back any longer. He climbed onto the chair and wrapped his arms around his lover tightly, holding onto him with all his might and feeling thankful when Sasuke clutched him back.
"It wasn't! It wasn't real Sasuke! I'm here! We're safe!" He gasped as he shouted into the ravens shoulder, hearing the shallow shaky breaths in his ear. He wanted Sasuke to believe him, he really did, he didn't want to see him this shaken.
For a good while, they sat on the chair. The sound of the tinkling baby melody accompanied hurried breaths and small sad noises. Sasuke sounded on the verge of a panic attack but Naruto had willed him to calm down and left the both of them in the tight and quieting embrace. Sasuke was finally still in his shoulder, the ferocious heartbeat he could still feel through the pale man's chest was the reminder he was still in the panicked state of mind, though it was now more out of relief. The blonde was still upset over the thought of his boyfriend sitting there downstairs for a whole hour clinging to their child as if she was going to be taken. For an hour he must have had all manner of things and scenarios going through his head as he sat frozen to the couch. It must have been terrifying.
He also knew though, this odd behaviour was not solely caused by the 'sighting' of Itachi, it was merely a trigger. Sasuke had dealt with a lot of pain in his past and these days had a lot of stress issues. With the Akatsuki activity not too long ago with the baby's parents still looming over him as well as the downfall in work and a lack of a regular sleep/eating routine, Sasuke was not in his best state anyway. On top of all this, he had suddenly had the responsibility of a baby thrown upon him and with the thought of someone finally taking away what he'd finally managed to get back in his life, he'd snapped. Naruto was amazed he'd lasted this long, though Sasuke was always a very strong person. He would blame himself though. Tomorrow, once the stress levels had gone down, he'd just see this one incident by itself and think of himself as a weak failure. He'd isolate himself and make it worse, Naruto didn't want that.
"Sas, listen," The blonde began, rubbing soothing circles into Sasuke's back. "Tomorrow, don't make things worse by blaming yourself. You're human, you've been stressed, and you're allowed to have emotions. Just...don't shut yourself away and feel embarrassed. I don't think you're weak." It was all he could say to try and lessen tomorrow effects.
Sasuke sighed softly and buried his face into the front of Naruto's shirt, sniffing loudly. The blonde smiled and kissed the top of his head, then pulling back to press a firm yet wet from tears kiss to his lips. Sasuke was still at first but then threaded his fingers through Naruto's blonde hair and shakily kissed him back. Naruto was just glad to feel him again, the atmosphere was clearing, and just to clear it up some more, he stood and moved the chair with Sasuke still on it, next to the baby cot. He crawled back into the raven's lap and kissed him again before curling up in his chest like the baby often did. Maybe it would make Sasuke feel a little stronger. And in the sickly sweet lullaby atmosphere, two of the three fell asleep.
---
"Naruto?" The blonde looked up from the kitchen table as he was called quietly, and raised his eyebrows in question. "Where's the sugar?" His eyebrows then furrowed in thought before he shrugged.
"I haven't moved it, you're the secret sugar addict." He replied, sending a smile the raven's way to show the humour, though Sasuke didn't return it. Naruto grimaced and carried on reading his newspaper, he'd been treading on thin ice all morning, trying not to set Sasuke off. So far he had not isolated himself like he'd promised but everything about him was tense and skittish. He'd not raised his voice much above a whisper since he woke up and only spoke at all when necessary. The baby was strapped to his front and Naruto could feel the nervous glances he kept getting every five minutes as if the raven was checking he was still there at the table behind him.
"I can't find it." The Uchiha stated and Naruto stood up to search through the cupboards, frowning when he couldn't find any. He was pretty positive the sugar jar had been by the kettle like it always was.
"That's weird...I can't find the bag we fill the jar up with either, it was right here yesterday!" He mused aloud and looked through the lower cupboards that usually contained bleach and cleaning products, figuring it couldn't hurt. "You sure you didn't take it in your office or anything?"
"No." Came the meek reply.
"Um..." The blonde scratched his head with one hand, drumming his fingers on the worktop with the other. "Want me to go get some from round the corner?" He suggested and bit his lip when Sasuke frowned.
"No." He said definitely, features twitching as if he were enduring an internal struggle. It had been happening all morning, Naruto trying to act normal (albeit a little toned down) and Sasuke trying not to show weakness. The atmosphere was fake and tense.
Not able to help it, Naruto cupped Sasuke's face and kissed him, he didn't want to see him like this, he needed to relax. The raven shyly kissed back but pulled away and seemed to make an internal decision before he turned to leave.
"Sas, wh-"
"You won't go will you?"
The blonde paused at the question. What was he talking about? Did he mean go as in to the shop for sugar? Or leave the house in general? Or leave as in leave the relationship?
Well it was a 'no' to any one of those questions.
"No, I'm staying."
Sasuke nodded and left a bewildered Naruto standing in the kitchen as he watched the raven disappear into his office. He was surprised he'd left his side, he'd been next to Naruto all morning like a shadow. The door to the office was left ajar however, something Sasuke never usually did and Naruto suspected Sasuke had left it so that he could always look out and see Naruto if he wanted to.
For now he left Sasuke alone, though he would keep checking up on him. He knew the man was trying to stop himself feeling weak by distancing himself and to an extent that was good as it got him out of the habit of being co-dependent and clingy. If he did it too much too often and too soon though, it would just cause him a lot more stress and he'd become solitary and depressed.
"Jeez...you're harder work than a baby." Naruto muttered towards the direction of the office, sighing and picking up his newspaper again, thoughts of missing sugar circulating somewhere in his mind.
---
Two months previous.
.
.
From a dated open window, an elderly woman sat and reflected back on her life. Her gaze was trained to the couple sat on a swing chair in the sun at the front of the house. They were embracing with all the leisure of a Sunday morning, surrounded by patches of deep blue Caryopteris flowers and enveloped by cherry trees. Sunlight fell upon them, lighting up the tired but happy expressions on their faces. From the cooler shade inside her bedroom, Taiyou Momochi watched her daughter and son in law talking quietly and smiled to herself - all the features of a wise old woman present on her face.
In the next few weeks, her daughter would give birth to her first child, giving Taiyou all the pleasures of a grandchild. She smiled down at her lap at the tiny satin shoes that had once been Haku's and would soon be the baby's. She was amazed by the speed of life, she could still remember Haku in these tiny satin booties, little feet learning to walk through the small house, as if it were yesterday. Of course, her husband, Tako, was there too, sadly he had passed when Haku was just five years old.
And now it was her turn.
She sighed sadly, shaking the feeling off. She had known this was coming for a long time, she had done her grieving and her crying and she was ready for her death. She wished Haku would accept it too, her daughter was still in denial, telling her she had years left. She knew she didn't, it would just be weeks now. All she wanted was to see her grandchild before she went, it was what she was hanging on for.
Their family was a small one, Zabuza and Haku and her. She figured it would soon just be Zabuza and Haku to love the child, and love it they would. She knew that Zabuza had a brother but he had been missing for some time. She frowned at the thought of the man, Kakuzu. All she knew about him was that he was interested in nothing but himself and his money, Zabuza didn't talk about him much. In a way, maybe it was a good thing Kakuzu could not be in the baby's life. It was such a shame for some people, the way their life had to be.
Taiyou put down the silk booties and walked slowly over to the door, feeling her body protest at the movement, her muscles were dangerously weak but she refused to go simply lying around like a useless old woman, even if that was what she had become now. She made her way to the kitchen and found the chilled jug of lemonade in the fridge, putting it on a tray along with two glasses. She lifted the heavy tray, wincing in pain as her body stung with the effort. She ignored the pain and fought through it, taking the tray outside to the front yard, trying to look like it wasn't an effort at all. Her daughter, however, was never fooled by her attempts and gasped when she saw Taiyou approaching. Zabuza was up quicker than his pregnant wife could manage and he took the tray from his mother in law's arms. Haku fussed and made her sit in the chair, scolding her for pushing herself. Taiyou simply smiled, feeling proud of her achievement of carrying the tray outside, even if it were only a small one. She shushed her daughter and laid her hands on the bump that her grandchild was settled inside, chuckling when she felt a kick and remembering Haku kicking inside her all those years ago. She kissed her daughter on the cheek and lay back in the chair. The scent of the flowers wafted around the hot atmosphere and the sun beat down on the three of them, cool lemonade not going unneeded. Sitting there, swinging gently next to her three most precious people in her tiny little Mongolian village...this was a good life. She was happy.
.
Naruto sighed as he heard the baby squeaking in her baby basket and rolled onto his side to shush her before Sasuke woke up. She was lying on her back and kicking her arms and legs impatiently, babbling nonsense and he raised his eyebrows tiredly at her, brushing back sweaty blonde locks before poking his finger into the basket.
"It's not playtime you know." He said sternly as she grabbed onto his finger happily. "Daddy's trying to sleep..." He couldn't help smiling when she pulled on his hand and squealed happily and then grimaced when she put his finger into her gummy mouth and sucked on it. The feel of her gums was an odd one and he shuddered, taking his hand out again and biting his lip when she began to make the telltale expressions of a tantrum. "Shuushhh! Shush it's okay! Please don't cry!" He begged but she squawked and hiccupped and he swore before picking her up and cradling her. "Please don't cry...everybody has cried enough lately..." He whispered, rocking with her gently as he looked towards his lover lying in bed. Sasuke had been practically falling asleep at his desk with exhaustion when Naruto went in at midnight. Every time before that, the raven had told him he was fine and to leave him alone. By midnight Naruto had insisted he come to bed and after a small battle of wills, Sasuke picked up their sleeping child and brought her upstairs to bed. Relieved, Naruto collapsed into bed, surprised when Sasuke fell asleep almost instantly, it usually took the Uchiha a long time to fall asleep while it took him minutes but tonight it was the opposite. Sasuke had almost collapsed into bed and fell asleep instantly after hearing Naruto promise he and the baby would be there when he woke up. Naruto had a million and one things running through his head and had been lying there running his fingers through Sasuke's raven hair and letting them circulate. He had just been finally nodding odd when the baby woke up.
Just as he thought the infant was quietening, she gulped in air and began crying louder. He whined quietly, gathering her tighter and burying his face into her shoulders. He didn't like hearing her cry. The hunger tears were different, if she was bored or hungry she would cry but it was just noise, the baby squawking was even kind of cute. This crying was different, it was as if she knew how her parents were feeling, it sounded genuinely upset and pained. Naruto couldn't help but feel like crying too. All of this was just not right: Sasuke, collapsed out of self inflicted exhaustion and stress while he held their new baby, adopted only because his friends and her parents had been killed needlessly. He screwed his eyes shut as thoughts of Haku and Zabuza leaked in, he had been trying not to think of them too much, not because he didn't want to but because he was trying to be strong for Sasuke. Sasuke needed him right now and Naruto couldn't sit around and grieve, it wouldn't help their situation. But sat here now with Sasuke asleep and the orphaned child of his friends crying in his arms, he could help let a few tears leak through his eyelids. He tried to be strong for other people but his facade was easily broken at times like this when he was tired and had a million thoughts running through his mind.
He wept quietly into the baby's shoulder, remembering his friends, Haku's warm eyes and reassuring embrace. Weekends down at the pub with her and Zabuza, the man's sarcastic sense of humour and words of advice he always gave Naruto. Every time he looked at the baby in his arms, he saw them in her, and god it hurt. Why did they have to be killed? Why them? Why anyone? He wondered if his daughter missed her real parents. In a way she still didn't feel like his, in a way he didn't want her to, he kept wishing she could be with her real parents but he knew that was silly. Nobody could take back what had happened, it was already done. They were dead.
"Silly baby...now...you've...made daddy...cry!" He sobbed quietly, trying not to be too loud and wake Sasuke, his boyfriend needed the sleep.
He wasn't sure when he finally laid the baby back down to rest and fell back to sleep. For some time after he began crying he'd just held her silently in the dark room. Thoughts of Haku, Zabuza, his new job, his lover and all the problems he was facing in life ran through his mind for the majority of his time awake. He wondered if he'd get the job or not, he wished horrible things on Sasuke's brother, he wished the Akatsuki would be arrested. He thought about Iruka and how he felt about him, he wondered what his real parents had been like and wondered if his daughter would wonder the same things in the future. He prayed Sasuke would feel better and that he would be able to draw his manga again. All the thoughts he usually kept out of his head he let lose. Tomorrow he would have to put them to the back of his mind again and put his mask back on. He would act strong and look after his family and bear the burden of everybody's problems on his shoulders, but for now, in the cooling dark bedroom, he just let his mind be.
So there it is! I have a rough idea of chapter six an I now have the major events plotlines out so I know where thigns are going, there are a lot of things which will happen once the story gets further along in the plot. Sorry for the angsty weepiness of this chapter but it's got to be in there in places, I hope Kiba managed to lighten the mood a little at least! Tsunade will have a significant part in this story and Kakashi+Iruka will be coming back into it a lot more along with a few other of my favourite characters. I want everybody to be involved, Gaara will be significant also. I'm still undecided on KakaIra haha you never know what could happen, if you think there should be KakaIru let me know in a review :p
Please stick around for chapter six! Please Review!!!