Twilight is property of Stephenie Meyer, but Bella and the Beastward is mine : )

kdillin betas for me and she's amazing. *high five*

Edward

I smelled the blood before I even opened my eyes. I pretended it was a dream for a few minutes before I finally forced myself to wake up. I sat up, breathing hard and labored as I looked around the darkness of my room. I could almost feel someone watching me. Something wasn't right. Something felt off. Wrong.

"Mom?"

The floorboards creaked outside of my bedroom door like someone was walking down the hallway. I closed my eyes and wiped my sweaty palms down the sheets on my bed.

"Mom?" I called again. I swung my legs over the side of my bed and stumbled across the floor. I pulled my door open and peeked my head out. The hallway looked completely empty. I took a few deep breaths and slowly made my way towards their room.

As I got closer I heard my mother crying behind their closed door and I cursed under my breath. That was my fault. I'd screwed up again. I honestly didn't give a fuck about what I did, just the fact that I got caught. For one moment I felt guilty for making her so upset, for blowing up at her earlier. That moment quickly passed. I was a selfish prick and I knew it, just like everyone else did. I wasn't going to pretend I was anything different, even to my parents. Don't get me wrong, I love them. They've given me everything I have, my entire empire, if you could call it that. I was the fucking prince at the academy and I knew I was untouchable.

"Mom?" I knocked softly and waited. She cried again. "Damnit," I whispered. "Listen Mom don't worry about what happened earlier okay? Everything's fine. I'm…" I was going to say I was sorry but that word didn't exist to me. I was never sorry about anything. I took what I wanted and didn't give anything back. It wasn't something I was ashamed of, even though I think somewhere deep down I knew I should be.

"Will you please just…stop crying?" I clenched my fists at my sides and shook my head. "Please?" I listened at the door for a few more moments. Complete silence.

"Thank you," I mumbled under my breath. As I turned to walk away a loud thud from behind the door caught my attention. I almost kept walking back to my room, but that strange feeling of anxiety from before crept back into my veins. Something was wrong.

"Mom?" I knocked again. Silence. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes as I gripped the door knob. "I'm coming in."

The rusty stench of blood assaulted my nose as I inched the door open. The room was still dark as hell so I reached beside me to turn on the light. I squinted as the bright flash momentarily blinded me and held my hand out in front of me as a shield. When I could finally see again, I wished I hadn't.

Red. There was red everywhere. Splattered, across the white walls. Pooled, on the white carpet. Spilling out from the gaping wound in my mother's neck. Her eyes were staring straight ahead, her cheeks still damp from her tears. I didn't have to check to know it. She was dead.

I stumbled backwards and tripped over something that sent me crashing back into the wall. I slumped down to the floor when I saw my father's body laying on the floor beside me. The heavy scent of the blood was making me naseuous and dizzy. I felt the world start to blur around me as the two dark figures stepped in front of me.

"Hello Edward," one snarled as he knelt down. I sat there completely frozen with fear while I waited for the certain death I knew was coming.

"No," I murmured.

"Edward!" Something hit my shoulder.

"No," I said again.

"Edward!" Jasper hit my shoulder again, jolting me awake from my nightmare. I shot-up, beads of sweat rolling down my skin as I tried to catch my breath.

"What?"

"I'm going into town, do you need anything?"

I bit down on my lip and shook my head. "No just get the list."

"Alright, I'll be back later."

He left me sweaty and panting in my bed. As Jasper closed the door, the room was once more enveloped in the darkness. I ran my fingers through my hair and slowly got out of bed. I walked around and brushed my fingers against the heavy fabric of the curtains before pulling them open, just enough to let a little light in.

I glanced up at the threatening clouds over the horizon and cursed Jasper for waiting this long to get winter supplies. If he would have waited one more day we would have been fucked. The snow is coming today. I can feel it.

I shuffled over to the chest and rifled through the drawers for a shirt. I grabbed the first one I could find and pulled it over my head. As I turned towards the door, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. My image was fragmented and broken, distorted by the cracks in the mirror that rippled from where my fist hit it.

I took a few steps closer and examined my face. The thin lines across it, crisscrossed and sliced across the flesh aren't as prevalent as they once were but I wasn't fucking blind. I knew what I was to them. To everyone, I was a fucking monster. My scars are like a scrapbook of all the shit I messed up and everything I lost. Except that I didn't get to choose when to pull it out and take a trip down memory lane. My own reflection was a constant reminder.

I slipped on my running shoes and pulled on a sweatshirt before I headed outside. I figured I could at least get a decent run in before the blizzard started. It wasn't like I wouldn't go out once it snowed, but I wasn't going to be happy about it. Or I guess you could say I'd be more pissy about it. I wouldn't call myself fucking happy right now at all.

I wanted it back. I wanted it all back. I know it cost me everything, but I couldn't help but need it. This life that I was living now wasn't a life at all. I was surviving. And even that was questionable.

The cold, crisp air hit me like a ton of bricks as I jogged out into the yard. I passed by the greenhouse in the back and chanced a quick glance at it. I still couldn't find the balls to go in there. It was my mother's favorite place and I made Jasper promise to keep it up. I didn't understand why, but I couldn't watch it die like I watched her die. From here I could barely see the bright red of the roses through the frosted windows, but I knew they were there.

I disappeared into the woods and took the normal trail that I always do. Ten minutes later the snow started falling around me, but I kept going. Jasper won't be back for a couple of hours and the snow probably hadn't even started in town yet. I had no reason to go back.

I took the small trail that broke off to my right and slowed as I entered the small meadow. The white flecks of snow were just starting to show up on the green grass. I wiped my brow as I spotted the two marble stones across the way. They sat underneath the only tree in the clearing. In the summer it looked beautiful with its long branches, but now it was just dead. The leaves had long gone, leaving only lifeless branches hanging meekly from the trunk.

I glanced down at the names on the headstones and bit down on my lip.

Carlisle and Elizabeth Cullen

Despite the fact that I was a horrible son, they were the only family I had. My grandparents on both sides were either dead or absent. My Grandma Masen made a quick appearance at the funeral long enough to tell me how much I disgusted her and then she was gone again. According to my mother, they had a falling out when she married my dad and hadn't spoken much since then. I'd only met her once before the funeral and she reminded me of the Crypt Keeper.

I didn't know why I always came here. Every time I went for a run I unconsciously found myself heading this way. It was my parents' favorite spot. They actually got married out here in the meadow. My father had inherited the house from his parents when they died and I was the only person left after he was gone. And after I was gone there would be no one. No one will come and visit my grave when I'm gone. No one will miss me. Jasper is my only friend and hell I don't even know if he'll show up to my funeral.

He says I'm morbid, too dark. He says that I'm young and shouldn't live my life cooped up in that damn house all the time. He should know better than anyone that no one wants me. They like me up here. They're safe from me up here. They don't have to look at me or deal with my bullshit. It's better that way. And I just don't give a fuck - about any of it.

I started chewing on the drawstring of my hoodie as my eyes washed over the names again. I still haven't said the words to them. I haven't even fucking thought them. I thought after the funeral and after I'd come to terms with everything that happened I could tell them everything. I could tell them that I'm…But I don't. And I can't.

I took a deep breath as I slowly turned around and started back to the house. By the time I got back the snow was really starting to come down. There was already a light layer of white powder across the lawn and the outside of the house. I knew once the wind started it would only take a few hours to coat everything completely. And then I'd really be cut off.

When I got back I took a shower and popped the last Hot Pocket into the microwave. The kitchen was pretty much the only place there was any form of advanced technology in the house. I'd learned fast enough that a phone was my worst enemy. If it wasn't the prank calls, it was the reporters. I guess most people would find that strange but Jasper is the only person I ever talk to so I got used to it. I tried watching television, but one night after a news story about my parents I had a breakdown and smashed all the televisions in the house. I knew I was a short fuse and anything and everything set me off. Jasper said I had a temper. I told him if he'd seen his parents get slaughtered and had a face like mine he'd be a little agitated too.

By the time I was finished eating Jasper was back with the supplies. I stood silently at the counter as he scurried around the kitchen, putting things away. I noticed he got Lucky Charms cereal. I fucking love Lucky Charms. That'd be a good snack for later.

"Don't help at all asshole," he muttered.

"Fuck off." I shuffled back upstairs and headed towards the library. It really used to be my father's study, but it was mostly full of books. The fireplace in the corner was the only thing not made of paper on any of the walls. A large leather couch and one of those ugly-ass bear skinned rugs sat in front of it. A baby grand piano was tucked in the other corner.

I made my way over to the fireplace and poked around some of the ashes and burnt wood from last night's fire. I reached down and grabbed a match, lighting it quickly and setting the kindling on fire. I threw the match into the fire and stood up before opening the cabinet beside me. It held several liquor bottles and clean glasses.

I sat in my chair for the next hour getting drunk and staring like a catatonic into the flames of the fire. That's all the last few years had been - a blurry of alcohol, flames and my piano. It was the only thing I fucking cared about at all anymore. I didn't care about the house, or the town and I sure as hell didn't care about all those people who lived in it. They didn't give a shit about me. They feared me. For no fucking reason other than the way I looked, they hated me. I used to think it was God's way of punishing me for how I used to be. I was one good looking bastard if I say so myself.

I eventually drifted over to the piano and allowed my fingers to ghost over the keys. I never really used much sheet music, just played whatever I was feeling. I remembered some songs from back when I took lessons, but I usually screwed up halfway through and got pissed. Then I'd either tell the piano to go fuck itself or just back away in fear of breaking it like I'd done everything else in this house.

I idly glanced outside as my fingers momentarily paused and blinked into the white blizzard in the yard. I laughed darkly to myself thinking about how everyone in town was going to be bitching about driving in it tomorrow.

My head snapped towards the door when I heard a voice. It was soft, distinctly feminine - definitely not Jasper.

"Do you mind if I plug my cell phone in? My battery's dead." The voice asked.

I stood up and slowly crept over towards the door. I inched it open ever so slightly and peeked my head out. Through the banister I could barely see soft, brown curls of hair. They completely covered her face as she dug around in her bag for something. I slinked along the way, concealing myself completely in the shadows. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. It was almost like I was in a fucking trance or something. I mean I know I hadn't really had any interaction with a woman in years, but this was different. This was gravity.

I knew my body was panicking. I wasn't sure if it was from the simple fact that someone else was in my house or that it was her, whoever she was. My breath hitched in my throat when she shook her head and stood up. The curls floated away from her face, revealing the rosiest cheeks I'd ever seen before. No doubt part of it was from the cold, but I had a feeling it was a part of her as well.

I narrowed my eyes as I examined her closer. She and Jasper seemed to be having some kind of conversation, but it was all mumbled to me. I started trembling when she bit down on her lip and looked around the room. I backed up unconsciously, thinking that she could see me. I didn't want her to see me. I didn't want anyone to see me.

She smiled a little and I groaned as I felt myself grow hard against my boxers.

"Fuck," I mumbled. I closed my eyes and shook my head, hoping it would erase her from it. It only made it worse of course, which didn't help. It was like I couldn't fucking control it or anything. Damn thing had a mind of its own and it hadn't seen a beautiful woman in so long I guess I couldn't blame it. "This is ridiculous…" I muttered. She needs to leave. Now!

"And you'll stay here." I glared at Jasper, even though he couldn't see me. What the hell did he think he was doing?

"I can't stay here," the girl mumbled.

"Well we really don't have another choice do we?" Jasper cocked his head to the side and I'm sure he flashed her one of those "My shit don't stink" smiles he pulls on me every once in awhile.

This couldn't be fucking happening. It would be a disaster. I didn't want to deal with her. I couldn't deal with her staring at me or the words that she would say about me once she saw me. I'm sure she was just like all the others. She must have gone to public school because I had no idea who she was, but it didn't matter. She needed to leave.

"Jasper she can't stay here," I snapped. I crossed my arms and cowered back again into the darkness.

"Excuse me one moment." Jasper bounded up the stairs as the girl stared up after us. I assumed from the look on her face that she hadn't seen me.

"She can't stay here," I whispered once Jasper had reached me.

"Edward…" He said softly.

"No."

"Do you want me to kick her out in this weather? If the blizzard didn't kill her the wild animals surely would."

"You know….what this means. You know what I've gone through."

"Yeah I hear about it every damn day. Are you done being a whiney ass?" Jasper cocked his eyebrow and crossed his arms.

I knew he wasn't going to back down. Just like I knew there was no way in hell I was going to let her leave. I was in quite a fucking conundrum to say the least. I'd become almost paralyzed with fear thinking of someone else in my house, but at the same time I didn't want her to leave. Just avoid her Edward.

"Fine." I took a step forward and harshly poked Jasper on his chest. "But tell her to stay the fuck away from me."

"Whatever ass." He turned around and started back down the stairs. I glanced down at the girl one last time and found her staring right at me. The heat of my blush radiated through my whole body even though I knew she didn't see me.

I quickly retreated back to my room and closed the door behind me. I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath until my head starting spinning. I slid down the back of the door, pulling and tugging at my hair as I tried to catch my breath.

I looked down at the peak in my sweatpants and sighed. I leaned my head back against the door and reached down, releasing myself from my sweats. I licked my lips and thought about the beauty downstairs, who was now probably upstairs and getting settled. I stroked myself up and down, becoming more and more urgent in my movements. The image of her was permanently etched in my mind. Damn she was beautiful. I groaned and slammed my head back as I found my release.

Afterward I cleaned myself up a little and shuffled over to the chair in the corner. I pulled back the curtains and watched the moonlight inch across the sparkling white snow covering the entire outside world. I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep until Jasper said my name.

"Wake up Sleeping Beauty." He kicked my chair.

I blinked a few times and slowly readjusted myself to a more comfortable position on the chair. "Wrong fairytale,' I mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Well Bella's all settled. I told her not to come over here since you're so anal retentive and an all out grump."

"Bella?"

"That's her name."

"Not surprised," I whispered.

"What was that?" Jasper asked.

"Nothing."

"Alright well I'm heading to bed." He turned towards the door. "And Edward." He turned back. "I know you won't, but you should really give her a chance. She might be good for you."

I laughed under my breath and turned my eyes back outside as Jasper walked out.

It was ironic wasn't it? Her name was Bella. Beautiful. Beauty. And I was nothing but a beast. I couldn't be good for her, so why should I even put forth the effort? I might as well be what they all want me to be because there is no way she'll see past all this bullshit. No way she could see me for me. And even if she could, I know she wouldn't like what she saw. My skin isn't the only thing that's flawed. This wasn't a fucking miracle story like everyone reads in their stupid books or watches on their television. 'Tale as old as time?', sounds like a crock of shit to me.

A/N: First wanted to say THANK YOU! There has been an amazing response to this story so far and I really appreciate it. I'm really excited to write it and I'm excited for you to read it. Please check out and follow the blog for teasers, playlists, news ect.

Just wanted to answer a few questions people asked:

1. Is there J/B in this story?: Not the way you're thinking. Jasper is a very friendly guy compared to Edward and he's honestly just happy to have someone other than the grump to talk to. So please don't think he's trying to jump Bella's bones, he's just stuck up there and is excited to have someone else around.

2. How are the other characters coming into play?: Honestly this story will primarily focus on B and E, obviously with some Jasper thrown in there. I wanted this story to revolve around B and E and their relationship and development. The other characters are very, very minor.

3. What happened to Edward?: All shall be revealed in due time.

4. Is this story going to have a HEA? (As in are you going to kill Edward?): I don't want to give too much away on this one, but I know a lot of you were worried from the prologue. We will eventually make it to my version of a HEA. That's all I'll say about that. I hope you'll stick around for it.

Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed, retweeted, and recc'd this story. I'm officially on winter break so I'm hoping to get a lot of writing done. Hopefully I'll get at least one more update of this and Secret Life out before I go back to school. XOXO