Disclaimer: I own nothing
Notes: Have faith in me all right? :D The end is nigh, and I'm really gonna miss this which is weird lol. Gotta line up my ducks and all that first though...
Thanks to all the readers and reviewers for making this fic such awesome fun to write. I like hearing what you all have to say, and am beyond flattered that you take the time, clicking review after reading really does make a writers day as I know a lot of you who write too know already...and those who don't write, trust me, you make us really happy by doing it. :)
Your words really encourage me to write more.
And Brown Eyes Parker-I hope you are okay and feelin' better! (Guest TS appearance is for you;)).
Parker insisted they stop at Bruceton Mills off the 68. Eliot raised an eyebrow but pulled up in front of The Mill Place restaurant, and hardly bat an eye as she got out, and waited.
"I refuse to believe you're hungry again Parker." He got out and locked the truck, and tucked his loose hair behind his ears. She liked it down. She also liked that they had used the same shampoo and that her hair smelled like coconuts too now, though it seemed an odd thing to make her happy so she didn't mention it, having a feeling Eliot would give her that look again. The one that made her wish she was a little more normal sometimes.
"Well there's an ice cream store. Ice cream doesn't count as food. Everyone knows that." His head shake and smile indicated that maybe it wasn't the widely held belief she considered it to be, but she shrugged. "I want to get a picture of us fishing. You know, in case anyone asks."
"You wanna actually go fishin'?" He squinted into the sun at her, head cocked, hands in his jeans pockets and her heart lurched a little.
"No, I want it to look like we did." Entirely different. She span about and he followed her to the ice cream store, refusing a cone for himself and paying for her chocolate double scoop.
They ambled down to the dam, where a few old timers had set up for the day, and the whole place was peaceful and the sound of a waterfall on the dam a ways up stream made Parker smile.
"You wanna be the distraction while I get a picture?" She licked her cone and Eliot's eyes darkened as he watched her. She offered him some, and he licked the chocolate scoop with a shrug and Parker wondered if she would even have offered before...well before. Sharing candy was one thing. This seemed, intimate. Like sex but not. She thought about Hardison, her chest a bit tight, and realised she had never shared food like that with him. A bag of sweets or popcorn, yeah. Not half her sandwich or a lick of her ice cream though. Hmm.
"Parker, much as I like your sneaky ass antics honey, why don't we just ask if you can have a picture?" Eliot made the suggestion as he stared out into the water, and Parker creased her brow. It hadn't occurred to her she could just ask.
"Would they say yes?" The fisher men looked old school, proper gear and she wasn't sure how to approach them without a grift in mind.
"Don't know till you ask darlin'." Eliot wandered down to one of the guys and spoke to him, Parker watching curiously. Eliot glanced over to her and she joined them, oddly nervous.
"Parker meet Billy. Billy'll let you take some pictures." Huh. That was easy. Billy shook her hand and took off his fishing hat and plonked it on her head.
"Gotta look the part there flower." He was about sixty five and weathered but easy going and she accepted the hat with a grin. She like outfits. "Here, let's git'ya lookin' like you mean it." He took off his green waistcoat replete with hooks and badges and she slipped it on, with a thanks.
"Hey Eliot take my picture." She tossed him her cell and he caught it easily, and he and Billy watched as she sat in the green cloth chair on the bank and checked out his lines, finishing off her cone.
Eliot took a few snaps and she grinned, the sun beating down, the water calm and her hat awesomely angled. When he got a bite, she reeled it in, and Billy laughed saying he hadn't had a sniff all morning, maybe she should stick around and be his fish whisperer. Eliot patted the guy on the back as they left, Parker handing back the hat and waistcoat with a sigh.
"Thanks Billy."
"Hope your project does well. My Susie's doing a night class on the interwhatchamacallit. Hard work pays off kid, stick at it now." Parker had no idea what he was talking about so just nodded and followed Eliot up to a picnic area just above the waterfall along the dam.
Sitting on a picnic bench, she stretched her legs out and put her elbows on the table behind her, letting the sun hit her face.
"Eliot?"
"Yeah?" He was sat beside her, stretched out the same, and a sense of peaceful communion fell over them beneath the trees in the sunlight.
"Should we tell the others that we're having sex now?"
A strangled cough followed by silence made her glance at him. He was staring at the waterfall, a reflective expression on his face.
"Eliot?"
"I'm thinkin' Parker. Gimme a minute."
What was so complicated about it? Parker fidgeted on the bench, not liking his hesitation. She scuffed her boots on the ground. For a weird second her stomach felt empty and her skin cold. Panic was fluttering up her throat. She shook it away.
"Never mind. It really doesn't matter."
"Oh, it really doesn't matter? Why bring it up then?" Oh frick he was grumpy again. Parker blew her fringe off her forehead and put her shades back on.
"It was a general enquiry. A musing. Yeah, a musing." She liked that word. Sophie used it a lot when she mentioned ideas that got nixed. She would wave her hand in that way that made her being royalty a very real probability and be all airy and English about it. "Never mind never mind, just musing out loud, continue."
"A musing? Right." Eliot replicated her boot scuffing with his own. "How d'you think Hardison will feel about it?"
"Hardison? I don't know." She frowned. Since her talk with the hacker about being friends she sort of hadn't considered him whilst dealing with Eliot. The realisation pinched her with guilt. "He'll be okay with it. I think."
"Sure Parker. You break up with the guy and two days later declare you're sleeping with me? Nope, can't see him having any problem with that at all." Eliot's sarcasm was biting and he was frustrated and mad too. Parker shrank in on herself as she listened. "And Sophie? Yeah she'll approve, no worries, right after binning the freakin' scrapbook she's been keeping for you and H's wedding."
"Sophie kept a scrapbook?" Parker was alarmed by that imagery.
"What? No, it's a metaphorical scrapbook Parker." The idea was still disturbing. As was the weariness in his tone when talking about the team's feelings. Parker scrunched her face up to the sky. Eliot really didn't expect the team to take it well, and she couldn't figure why. Why would they disapprove? And honestly who cared?
"I might of mentioned something to Hardison already." She swallowed, waiting for the yelling. Eliot was silent. She breathed out, not sure why she was telling him. She just didn't want it to be all about everyone else's opinion. This was their thing right?
"I'm gonna need you to expand on that darlin'." His voice was cautious and deep, and she winced. But he'd seen her naked. And after the shower, and watching the crown of his head at her abdomen as he did wickedly wonderful things to her with his tongue, it seemed ridiculous to be so nervous about simple words. He was Eliot.
"Well, it may have come up that I...am attracted to you." Wow, that had been hard. Stupid, but it was.
"May have come up?" Eliot sounded incredulous. "Parker was this during your chat about just bein' friends?"
"Might have been. I can't exactly recall right now." Man she was a crappy liar. Her heart was thudding and anxiety was knocking at her head, the steel box full of her Eliot feelings rattling and shuddering about like a wild thing.
"Parker why did you and Hardison break up?" He was quiet, and spoke like each word needed careful handling. Now he wanted to know? Huh. Parker felt fire and ice flood her in quick succession.
"Does it matter?" She sounded meek and worried to her own ears, and then she straightened. She didn't have to justify herself or the reasons that had gotten her here. Like it mattered anyway? You can't un-ring a freakin' bell.
"I think it matters a lot Parker." Pained. That's how he sounded. He was leaning forward now, head down, hands clasped and elbows braced on his knees.
"We both realised we were better off as friends that's all. No biggie." Parker wished she hadn't said anything. What had made her start this conversation anyway? Since she knew exactly why she had asked she decided not to dwell too much. Eliot did not do relationships. This was just sex. Till she convinced him otherwise without him noticing. Because he was hers and she was keeping him, and even she knew that just sex didn't cover all that. The kids video in New York and Louise's talk at the wedding...Parker finally felt like she was getting a message, and one she was ready to hear. People mattered and life could be short. You couldn't plan for bad shit happening, you just had to be sure and not waste the good stuff when that landed on you, because regrets were a sorry thing to have when you were dead. Personal relationships hadn't ever registered as a source of regret before the team had formed. A source of pain maybe. Now, well, she got that those regrets were the ones that hit you hardest. This free-fall into a whole new world of feelings and understanding was pretty terrifying right now.
"U-huh. Look darlin'," he cleared his throat and gazed off into the distance and Parker felt the hair on her body stand in fear as his voice got gruff. She was never ever bringing this up again. No way. It made her stomach squeeze and lungs burn. "I think we should be discreet about this...arrangement. Hardison is a good guy an' I don't wanna rub his nose in anything, or hurt his pride ya know?"
"Yup. Gotcha." Just stop talking and lets go back to making out in your truck. Oh crap there was more.
"There'll be a ton o' questions an' a ton of talkin' and I think we should just you know, keep it between us while we figure it out. That all right with you?"
"Totally. C'mon we should go." Parker stood up and ignored the fading panic. At least they still had an "arrangement." Man for a minute she thought he was going to call a halt to it again just after she had him admitting this thing wasn't going to end in Boston. What had she expected anyway? That he would be all, hell yeah let's tell everybody and hey, you can sit on my lap at all team meetings?
She sighed, unsure if what she wanted and what was happening would ever quite match up. She always seemed to want what she couldn't quite get. Eliot was Mr Privacy. What did figure it out mean anyway? What, like she was a problem he had to solve? She walked back to the truck, glancing over her shoulder at him.
"Want me to drive a while?"
"Sure." He tossed her the keys. She caught them with one hand and stared at them. Well at least she got to be in charge of something, even if it was just the freakin' steering wheel of the truck and not anything important, like oh, her life. She was used to making choices on her own and dealing with the fall out. Having to compromise with Eliot about this was weird. She wasn't sure she liked it. She didn't want to hurt Hardison, but she wasn't sold on the whole let's be secret lovers thing either. She had just discovered how kissable he was, and now had to work on not showing it. She wasn't that good a freakin' actress yet. Oh man. Boston sucked.
Eliot watched his blonde thief stride off and let out a rush of air from a breathe he hadn't been aware he was holding. Talk about a reality check. Fuck. He had just decided that a thing with Parker wasn't gonna cut it, and figured he could warm her up to the idea of more than just sleeping together, despite her pretty clear descriptions of that being all she was after, when she reminds him of the team. Of Hardison. Of real life.
What a suck-fest of a cold shower that was. Jesus, he could just see Sophie's face if Parker decided to announce they were fuck buddies. The looks he'd get. Now it seemed that Parker's attraction to him may have initiated the whole epiphany over her and the hacker's lack of whatever, and like he could be that guy? Strut into work Monday and watch poor H's face when they heard that Parker had decided she wanted sex all right, just not with him? Screw that. No matter how amicable the mutual break up or whatever the hell it was, had been, that shit could cut a guy off at the knees. The idea of lying made him feel worse, but he justified it, figuring that if he and Parker ever got to redefining the whole just sex thing, well yeah, that was worth causing a little pain for. He hoped they would reach that stage. Her making plans for Christmas had way more to do with a grotto in the woods he knew that but it sneakily gave him hope. Hope that he had enough time to...what? Convince her he was worthy of more? Convince her of who he was? Like she didn't know already? Like Aimee hadn't fuckin' known? Jesus. This shit was beyond him. But he would speak to H. If, and it was a big if he realised, he managed to make Parker want more than just sex it had to happen. But now? Whilst it was all raw, and undefined? When it could be pointless harm caused, since the call could come any damn minute and it would all be a memory anyway?All sharing the news with the team would do would cause issues. He'd have to talk to H. Gauge his feelings on the break up. Parker, bless her unsociable heart wasn't exactly a people reader. H may have sounded cool but what if he wasn't? And Eliot could not imagine breaking up with Parker being in anyway easy to deal with.
Damn it this was not what he wanted on his mind for the rest of the drive. He was more than happy to forget Boston and its annoyingly needy residents till he was walking into Nate's apartment and facing them. Which made him a selfish dick but man, he and Parker had a nice easy vibe going and then bam. Boston freakin' massacred itself up all over it. He climbed into the passenger side and felt Parker's cool edge from a couple of feet away. She was not happy.
He wondered if she cared that the team knew or it had really just been a "musing". He had a feeling she would be happy for the guys to know they were sleeping together and really not get why it could be an issue. The image of her standing in Nate's kitchen eating cereal whilst the team stared at her in aghast after dropping the bombshell wouldn't go away, neither would the sound of her saying "What's the big deal? It's just sex people."
Kinda stung.
"Hey Parker?"
"Mmmhmm?" Oh she was really annoyed. He had been harsher than intended at the picnic bench and it wasn't her fault exactly. Well, it was, but...ah fuck. This thing would not last passed that damn call he was going to receive anyway right?
"Wanna forget Boston for the rest of the ride back?"
"Oh yes purlease. I really really do." Oh man she sounded relieved and eager to forget the complications looming. It made his chest tight suddenly, wondering if he'd somehow hurt her. He felt like he was wading in emotional quicksand.
"Cool." He turned up the radio, despite it being fraught with ridiculously insightful pop songs and leant back. Glancing over at her, he reached over and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Her expression softened and he wished he could make this shit easy. Like a freakin' magic wand to wave over the team and have them be cool and happy with it and her sitting on his lap during the team meetings be totally not an issue. The idea was one that triggered something deeply primal within him, and he prayed that call was not imminent. Because he wanted her faith in him rock solid before that, and even now he felt like he was making a mess of it.
"Hey Parker?"
"Yeah?"
"Everything's gonna be okay you know." Dumb, but he wanted to say it to her and have her believe it. He could sense a tremulous fear in her and he hated it, very aware of how much she would hate feeling that way. Parker liked clarity and not just in diamonds. In life. The sooner he could get this clarified the better.
"Oh I know." Parker replied like duh, but with a hint of false bravado that got him good. He leaned over and kissed her cheek and she turned to kiss him on the mouth. Quick and hard. His skin started humming again.
"So," he growled to clear his throat and settled back, eyes on the road, Parker at the wheel. "If this is supposed to be a vacation for you, we should do some stuff."
"What kind of stuff?"
"Touristy stuff. A boat ride in Harrisburg, a walk in Central Park, a hot dog from a road side vendor you wish you hadn't eaten the next day. That kinda stuff." He had wanted a smile and got one.
"Can I get a tee shirt?"
"A tee shirt?"
"Yeah. And a trucker cap. That's what you do right? Oh and I'll need a giant slushy. And to take pictures in front of more street signs. Love that." She was talking again without the edge and he listened, fascinated at the way she saw the world. As if she were visiting it from another planet sometimes and had to act like the people she saw on TV to blend in. It was immensely appealing.
"Parker darlin', you can have whatever you want."
"Not always." She muttered it, but he heard and he glanced over, frowning.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
Taylor Swift came on the radio, The Story Of Us, and Eliot went to change it, Parker's violent reaction to it before pretty fresh in his mind.
"Leave it." Parker was quick to stop him.
"Really? I thought you hated this song." He watched her curiously. Temperamental mercurial Parker. His Parker. He would never tire of keeping up with her. Go mad trying to make sense of her, but never tire of trying. The realisation formed a lump of something warm in his chest.
"It's grown on me." She said it haughtily and he smirked.
"Taylor 's a lovely girl you know, when I was helpin' out on that-"
"I like the song Eliot I don't wanna freakin' date her." The low rumble accompanying her words had him grinning and raising his hands in mock surrender.
"Okay okay, I was just sayin'." He smiled to himself. Jealousy. Huh. Good sign. Very good sign.
"Next chapter." She said it to him in time to the song and glared at him with it. Nice. It only made him grin wider, and his cheeks hurt with it as he looped an arm about her shoulder as she drove, settling up close, liking how she melted a little when he did.
"Let's see about gettin' you that slushy darlin'." He rubbed her nape and she leaned back into his hand, making him imagine her stretching in bed as she had done on waking. His gut tightened.
"Excellent suggestion Eliot."
By the time Eliot pulled up to his apartment in Boston at one in the morning, an exhausted Parker curled up with her head on his lap, her oversize tee shirt looking like a night dress, he was wondering why the hell he had suggested they keep their arrangement a secret. There was no way he was gonna last one day under the teams knowing eyes without giving away his feelings about the thief. Big badass feelings that seemed to grow exponentially the more he looked at her. Talked to her. Kissed her.
She stirred in his lap and sat up, yawning and blinking, the shades long abandoned since they weren't in keeping with "her disguise". Her words.
"We back?"
"Yeah." He knew he had to take her home and didn't want to. What a shmuck.
"You making pancakes then?" She grouched at him, like why weren't they inside with the pan on already. Eliot couldn't speak for a minute.
"It's one am Parker." The morning and what it would bring weighed heavy on his mind as he looked at her. He stroked her hair, loose and messy and she pouted and swivelled her head at him.
"Yeah, the official pancake hour. C'mon Eliot." She smiled blearily and threw her arms about his neck. "Make me pancakes and take me to bed." She yawned again.
He kissed her, and figured the morning was coming no matter what.
"You really tired huh?" She was adorable in her sleep mussed state. A swell of protectiveness threatened to smother his lungs.
"No. Not at all." She kissed him back in a pretty explicit demonstration of how very awake she was becoming. He didn't need asking twice.
The smoke alarm went off when the fist pancakes burnt but he made a second batch half an hour later with a smile on his face and Parker calling orders from the bedroom.
He told himself not to get used to this. But man did he want to.