Twilight belongs to S.M.

Thanks to my beta kdillin

Bella

I jolted up out of my bed and immediately started panicking. It didn't smell like my room. The blanket didn't feel like my blanket. Everything was different. I wasn't at home.

I scrambled out of the bed and felt along the wall until I reached the light switch. I breathed a momentary sigh of relief when I realized where I was. All the memories from that disaster of an attempted trip came flooding back to me. I was at the Cullen's mansion up in the hills. Stuck up here with their grump of a son until the snow melted enough to get me the hell back into town.

I'd fallen sleep last night in my clothes, which was uncomfortable to say the least. I crossed the room and rifled through my bag for some clean clothes. I pulled out a long t-shirt and jeans along with my shower supplies before venturing towards the bathroom.

I turned on the light and nearly dropped my shit all over the floor. The bathroom was immaculate. The largest and most beautiful claw foot tub sat in the corner looking like it had never been used. There was a sink and toilet on the opposite side, as well as towels just waiting to be used in all shades of red.

I set my things down on the floor and started the water in the tub, turning up the hot water as much as possible. I was still freezing from last night. Jasper wasn't kidding when he said it was drafty in here. The fire helped a little bit, but I could still feel the frigid air from outside escaping in. Or maybe it was the cold reception I'd received from Edward.

Once the tub was filled, I stripped out of my clothes and lowered myself into the steaming water. I shivered a little as I began to warm up and leaned my head back against the edge of the tub.

I didn't understand why he was so upset. I mean I know that I was intruding and all that but at the same time I didn't ask to get stranded here. I don't want to be here as much as he doesn't want me here. I was beginning to understand why no one in town liked him.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't curious about him though. He's about my age, through what I've heard through Alice's gossip. He went to the academy, which is some rich hoity-toity private school in Port Angeles. Apparently he was incredibly popular, big man on campus. After his parents died he just kind of dropped off the map. Everything else in town was whispered rumors kept behind closed doors.

It was big news when the Cullens were murdered up here. They were major players in the hospital and had owned this house for generations. The police caught the guys who did it about a month after it happened. Apparently it was some kind of robbery gone bad but that was all I ever heard about it. Edward became the phantom of Forks after that. The only thing we ever saw of him was Jasper coming into town periodically. I don't even think I've seen a picture of Edward since it happened. He was always really handsome from what I remember from the news. I remember catching flashes of his school pictures during the reports but there was never any video of him from the trial.

I allowed myself to sink under the water and wet my hair before popping back out. My hands rested lightly on the surface of the water as I contemplated the disaster I currently found myself in. First, Edward was an asshole. Second, there was a part of him, and I didn't know how dominant that part might be, that wanted me gone from his house. And third…I was unconditionally and unrevvocably about to punch him in the face for being so fucking rude. I didn't even know why it pissed me off so much. Probably, because I was basically being held here against my will by Mother Nature.

Maybe Charlie will come looking for me. Okay - fat chance of that. I pretty much flat out told him that I wasn't going to call or write. Jake's going to be too busy doing God knows what to go all the way to the barn and check to see if my truck is actually there. It's not like he'd want to take it cruising or anything. It's lower than a piece of shit. Here's to hoping he'll run down there to sell it for spare parts.

I stayed in the tub longer than I probably should before washing myself and finishing up. I stepped out and shivered, mourning the loss of the warm water surrounding every inch of me. I quickly grabbed for a towel and wrap myself up.

I slipped into my new clothes and ran a comb through my hair before stepping back out into the bedroom. I was surprised to see the fire going strong. Jasper must have come in and added some wood while I was in the bathtub.

I walked across the room and hesitantly opened the door. The hallway was empty, but it looked completely different seeing it in the daylight. It seemed a lot lighter than the rest of the house. I can imagine it was because no one ever comes up here. Jasper said he lived out back and Edward had his own side of the house apparently. He hadn't destroyed this yet.

It was almost pretty. The hallway was decked out in Victorian looking wallpaper as well as some paintings scattered every so often. There was one other door down at the end of the hallway.

I stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind me. I cursed my stomach as it grumbled loudly even though there was no one around to hear it.

I assumed the kitchen was downstairs so I started that way. I glanced over at Edward's side of the staircase as I passed and wondered if he was over there. Even in the daylight it looked lifeless. It made me wonder how broken he really was.

When I reached the foyer where I came in last night I heard some voice from behind me. I traveled down a short hallway beside the staircase and smelled something delicious wafting through the air.

"Well I don't think it would kill you Edward…" Jasper said softly.

I cleared my throat and stepped into the kitchen. Jasper was standing at the stove scrambling some eggs as Edward sat at the counter. I leaned forward, trying to see his face behind his hood, but he cowered back and obscured my view again.

"Good morning," Jasper said. He smiled and loaded some eggs onto a plate. "Are you hungry? The eggs and milk won't last long so make sure you eat them while they're good." He laughed and set the plate down beside Edward's. I noticed his head shift slightly my way, but he never looked at me.

"Thank you," I said softly. I sat down beside Edward and cringed. I could almost feel the waves of tension rolling off him and crashing onto me. It was one of the most uncomfortable times in my life, including when I accidentally flashed my high school principal.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and saw him push his plate away. "Good morning Edward," I mumbled.

He nodded and pushed away from the counter. Before I could breath one more time he was gone.

"He's not a morning person," Jasper said. I cocked my eyebrow at him and we both laughed. I had a feeling Edward was not an anytime person. "Was everything alright in your room? I hope it didn't get too cold this morning." He sat down in Edward's vacated seat and started eating.

"Yeah everything was great. Thank you. I really am sorry to intrude on you guys like this. I wish there was something I could do. You really don't have to wait on me." Maybe I'll just get a stack of firewood so I can take care of that stuff myself.

"You aren't intruding. It'll be nice to have a woman in the house again. We're not really used to that."

"No one's been here since….since everything happened?" I didn't know what I should and shouldn't say while I was here. I didn't want to offend anyone.

"Not really. Edward fired all their servants and workers except for me." He shrugged. "They used to have a cook, maid, butler…I helped the gardener." He smiled.

"Why'd he fire the gardener and keep you?"

Jasper's smile faded as he diverted his eyes down to the floor. "The gardener was his mother."

"Oh." I twisted my fork around my plate and tried to fight down my embarassment. "I'd always heard she was a very lovely woman."

"That she was. She was very kind and gentle. Edward was the epitome of a rebellious teen and she loved him anyway. I think the only thing that even came close to matching her love for him was her love for her garden. In the spring the backyard is filled with roses. There's a small greenhouse for the winter. Mrs. Cullen always said that winter was no excuse for not having flowers. I still keep up with what I can."

"That's very nice of you. I'm sure she would appreciate that."

"I'd like to think so."

I started to wonder why someone as nice as Jasper put up with all the shit Edward seems to put out. There must be something more that I'm not seeing because it just didn't make sense to me.

We ate the rest of our meal in silence until Edward bounded through the kitchen. He didn't say a word to either of us as he crossed the floor and went out the back door into the yard. I leaned forward and watched him jog across and disappear into the woods.

"Where's he going?" I asked.

"He runs a lot."

"In the middle of the woods?"

"He likes it out there." Jasper stood up and started towards the sink. "Are you finished?"

"Yes. Thank you." I handed him my plate.

"Well would you like an official tour of the Cullen palace?" He grinned and cocked his eyebrow.

"Sure."

"This is the kitchen." He gestured extravagantly around the room.

"Thanks for the tip."

He laughed and nodded towards the door. He showed me everything downstairs; the formal dining room, a great hall, a small parlor. We started up the stairs when I noticed the painting. It hung at the top of the staircase and I couldn't fathom why I didn't see it before. I guess I was distracted the first time I walked up these steps.

I could tell it was Edward and his mother and father, but it looked like Freddy Kreuger had gotten to it. It was completely ruined, torn in several places.

I took a step towards it and Jasper cleared his throat.

"Edward?" I asked.

I took his silence as confirmation. My hand trembled as I reached forward and held up the flaps of canvas hanging down. It was shocking how much Edward looked like his mother when you put them right beside each other. Their hair was the same bronze color, eyes were the same green. He had the chiseled features of his father, but that was about it. He was his mother's son.

I turned to my right and started up the stairs towards the side I hadn't seen yet, but Jasper grabbed my hand.

"That side is off limits," he said.

"What's over there?"

"There's a library, Edward's room and his parent's room. Trust me you don't want to go over there. It's a complete disaster."

I jumped when I heard someone stomping up the stairs behind us. Edward brushed past us and went right into the second room, slamming the door behind him.

Jasper cleared his throat and eased up on my hand. "Would you like to see the greenhouse?"

"I'd love to."

We went back downstairs and through the kitchen. I shivered as we exited the backdoor into the snow. The greenhouse entrance was a few steps away but it was still enough to chill me to the bone. I can't believe Edward runs in this shit.

Jasper opened the door for me and it was like I'd stepped into the Tropics. Warm and humid. I could almost feel the moisture settling on my face. The room was painted red with roses and smelled divine. People always say roses are boring but I think there's something so classic and endearing about it.

"Wow," I breathed. "You take care of all of this?"

"Yeah." He shrugged and started casually strolling around the room. "Edward comes in here sometimes but he's not allowed to touch the plants. He doesn't do well keeping things alive…" He fell silent, almost like he'd said something wrong.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He straightened up and plucked a single rose out. "So you said you were going to the airport." He handed me the rose. "Where were you going?"

"Europe."

"Where at?"

"Anywhere."

"Hmm…" He laughed softly under his breath. "That sounds like it has a story behind it."

I couldn't help but smile. "I don't know I just…I felt stuck."

"This probably wasn't the best place for you to end up to get unstuck." He shook his head. "Regardless, I hope you'll make yourself at home. I'm usually the cook in the house, but don't feel like you have to wait to eat. Feel free to take any food or drink or anything else that you need."

"Thanks Jasper. I appreciate it."

He nodded and quietly made his exit out of the greenhouse. I wandered around the small space breathing in its scent and reaching out every so often to brush my fingers across the soft petals. As my fingers fell away I winced, feeling the slice of the thorn against my skin.

When I was little I always used to ask my mother why roses had thorns. She used to tell me it makes them more beautiful and I never really understood what she meant. Thorns are these hideous things that plagued the epitome of beauty. How in the world could they add to it? I hated them even more now that I was nursing a cut finger.

I started towards the door and tried to decide what I was going to do for the next couple of months here. The books I brought were destined to be read within the week. There's no internet, no television. Maybe I could convince Jasper to let me go into the library if I stayed out of Edward's way.

Just as I reached the door, it swung open and Edward ran inside. He ran right into me and I stumbled over our feet, almost tumbling to the ground. I reached out and grabbed hold of his sweatshirt to keep myself from falling and I was surprised when he wrapped his arms around my waist and steadied me.

"Sorry," I mumbled. I slowly looked up at him and was disappointed to find his face was shadowed by his hood again. I was beginning to think I'd never see his face.

I waited for a few moments expecting him to apologize as well but he never did. I glanced down at his hands still wrapped around my waist. He quickly released me and brushed past.

"Thanks," I said, glancing after him. I darted back outside and into the house.

I spent the rest of the day in my room, sneaking downstairs occasionally to get something to eat. I saw Jasper bustling around the house every now and then but I didn't see Edward at all.

I ended up starting one of the books I brought and curled up next to the fireplace in my room. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember was waking up with the book flat across my chest and the fire dying beside me.

My stomach grumbled, reminding me that I'd missed dinner. I put my book down and tended to the fire before creeping out into the hallway. The entire house was dark and silent. I crept down the hallway and found my way to the stairs.

When I got to the kitchen I found some cereal and some milk. I figured I'd take Jasper's advice and eat the good stuff while it's still here.

I rummaged through the cupboards until I found the bowls and silverware before settling down on a stool to eat. I'd only taken a few bites when I heard someone shuffling down the hallway. I held my breath and debated on whether it was Edward or Jasper.

The figure stumbled into the room and opened the refrigerator. I squinted as the light from inside blasted across the room. He reached beside him and flipped on the light switch. Definitely not Jasper.

"Hi," I said, speaking through a mouthful of cereal.

"Jesus!" Edward gasped. He spun around and froze.

"I'm sorry." I was completely paralyzed. I could actually see him now. No hood, no shadows. Just him. It was impossible not to notice the marks on his face. Short, straight lines scratched into the skin. They were old wounds, but the evidence was still apparent. "I'm sorry," I said again. I shook my head and looked down. I didn't want him to think I was staring. I didn't mean to. "I scared you."

"You didn't…"

"Good." I set my bowl down on the counter and bit down on my lip. "Midnight snack?" I nodded to the food in his hands.

"How'd you guess?" He asked. His voice was sharp and unkind. Not like the light-hearted joking with Jasper earlier.

"What's your problem?" I asked. "I mean really. I'm sorry that I'm such a big inconvenience to you and your secluded little life up here, but I don't want to be here!" I screamed.

"Good. I don't want you here either!" His nostrils flared as he yelled back at me, bringing his face within inches of mine. He slammed his hands down on the counter and glared at me. We stayed like that for the longest time just staring at each other, daring each other to take it further. For some reason, mainly because he was a stubborn asshole, we were clashing in the worst way.

"Why are you like this?" I whispered. I searched his eyes for some kind of answer, but there was nothing. "I know you went through something tough Edward, but…"

"You have no idea what I went through," he snapped. "No fucking clue." His eyes stared into mine a moment longer before he disappeared out into the hall.

I sat there stunned until I heard a door slam upstairs. I had no idea what the hell just happened. It was my first actual conversation with him and we ended up yelling at each other.

My appetite had come and gone so I cleaned up my cereal and headed back upstairs. As soon as I hit the landing I heard soft music coming from Edward's side. Jasper told me not to go over there. That it was off limits. But there was something pulling me towards it. I didn't know if it was my intense anger towards the man living over there or something else.

I rested against the railing and glanced up at the painting again. I could barely see Edward's face peeking out from one of the rips in the canvas. His face was almost breathtaking. I was never one to fawn over a guy, but he was handsome. Even with those scars on his face he was better looking than any other guy in town, which made it really hard to hate him.

A part of me wondered about him though. Where did he get those scars? Did they have something to do with his parents? I couldn't imagine losing my parents like that, but there had to be something more to it. The way he looked at me made me shiver. Behind all that anger and rage inside him I saw sadness. And pain. More pain than I could even fathom experiencing.

I debated as I glanced between mine and Edward's sides before taking the steps up and closer to the music. I finally reached the door and softly leaned my ear against it. The sounds of the piano were darker than most songs I'd heard before. I closed my eyes and hummed as it lingered over me, sending a shiver down my spine. There was something so haunting and sad behind the music and I had to wipe away a tear that threatened from the corner of my eye.

I leaned my forehead against the door as the music caressed my skin, floating across every inch of me. It was like the ultimate seduction and I wasn't prepared for it at all. I whimpered under my breath as my fingers grazed across my neck and down my chest.

I jumped as something crashed against the door. Did he hear me? Did he know I was out here listening to him? I stood against the door completely frozen, wondering if I should bolt or stick it out and hope it was just a fluke.

I didn't know why I cared. I couldn't explain it but there was something in the pit of my chest that just wanted to…know him. I wanted to know him. Crazy right? Why would I want to know someone like that? Or even want anything to do with him?

I held my breath when I heard soft footsteps on the other side of the door. I glanced down and saw the shadow of his feet through the small gap at the bottom. I thought he was going to whip the door open and yell at me for being over here, but he didn't. He just stood there. And I just stood there. The only sound was our breathing, rising and falling together perfectly in sync.

I reached out my hand and pressed my palm flat against the door. "I can save you Edward," I whispered. My eyes stared straight ahead into nothing, trying to imagine what he was doing at this very moment. I could almost feel my fingertips buzzing against the cold surface of the door.

I took one final deep breath and silently stepped away from the door. I tiptoed down the steps and across to my side.

When I got back to my room I put another piece of wood on the fire and changed into my sweatpants. I laid in bed trying to sleep for hours, but I couldn't turn my mind off. Where did he get those scars? I wondered if that was why he cooped himself up here all the time. The emotional scars obviously ran a lot deeper than the surface, but I didn't doubt that both contributed to him being the way he is. It wasn't my job to fix him and I didn't even know why the thought ran through my head. He wants this. I'm just the audience. It doesn't make it any better that I have to sit here and watch him be so destructive, but I have no claim to his happiness.

"What is my fucking problem?" I whispered. One day in this place and I'm already going crazy.

I ran my hands through my hair and rolled over, willing my mind to shut off. When it did and I finally drifted off to sleep my dreams were dark and cold. And him. I remember Edward. Except it wasn't him. Not this version anyway. He was kind and gentle and there was a softness behind his eyes that I never imagined could be real. Then I woke up and I knew it wasn't. And it would never be.

Happy New Year! I wasn't planning on updating yet, but I thought it'd be a good New Year's thank you gift for all of your love and support.

I just have a few announcements/news items:

I'm participating in my very first one shot contest. It's called Post Secret Prompt Contest and is inspired by an amazing website/thing called Post Secret. If you have time check out the website and the contest (its under my favorite authors). I'm not allowed to tell you which entry is mine, but I'd appreciate your support by reading and reviewing the entries and voting for your favorite starting on the 8th!

Secondly, for any authors looking for a break or a fun adventure, ImHereToReview and I are putting together an author collab. Very easy, simple, little time commitment. Check out our ff profile (penname ffcollab) or email us at ffcollab gmail . com

Thanks for the reviews, retweets and recs! I'm glad you love Beastward as much as I do and appreciate it. He may still be a stubborn ass and won't say thank you, but I'll do it for him 3