S.M. owns Twilight. kdillin is my beta : )
Bella
I tried to sleep, but it was no use. I couldn't force my body to rest when I knew that he was going to be in pain. Jasper told me that tonight was the anniversary of his parent's murder and I couldn't imagine what it must be like for him every year being in this house.
I ended up pacing back and forth, almost waiting for it to happen. His nightmares had grown increasingly worse over the last couple of nights and I always went to him, even if just for a few minutes.
It wasn't fair. Despite his short fuse, I was beginning to see bits and pieces of him. The real him. He existed outside of the shouting matches and thrown glasses. Edward was much more than he let on and I think he used his attitude as a crutch to keep people out. I just didn't understand why.
Something had changed in me. Each night I went to him I felt more of his pain, took it deeper within me. I was slowly beginning to...feel. I didn't know what it was or what it meant, but my heart ached every time he screamed out into the darkness.
When the familiar cry echoed down my hallway I cringed. I took a deep breath and went to his room. He was rolling back and forth in his bed as he cried, his hands fisting and beating at the mattress.
"Edward..." I brushed his hair away from his face and fought the urge to press my lips against his forehead. "I'm here. It's okay." He screamed louder as his face contorted in pain and I felt a tear slip down my cheek.
I jumped off the bed and started pacing back and forth in front of the window. Maybe I should go get Jasper. He seems more hysterical than I've ever seen him and I don't know if I can make it better. I wanted to make it better.
Something in the corner of the room caught my eye. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and walked on shaky legs over to it. I squinted into the darkness and realized it was stack of newspapers. I grabbed one and my breath hitched in my throat when I saw the headline. Prominent Couple Found Brutalized in Their Home; Son Severely Injured. The scribbled writing across the front didn't catch my attention right away, but I eventually saw it. Someone had almost carved the ink into the paper. My fault. I dropped it and grabbed the next newspaper. It was the exact same. Exact same date, exact same headline, and exact same handwriting. My fault. My fault. My fault.
"Oh God..." I whispered. He'd taken the blame for this completely on his shoulders. No wonder it was smothering him. How could a robbery possibly be his fault? It was heartbreaking to know that he had so much guilt buried inside him.
"What are you doing here?" He snapped. I froze. Edward was awake.
"I..." I started. I didn't know what to say. I shouldn't be in here.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" He screamed. I barely recognized his face. It was filled with more rage than I'd seen before.
"I'm sorry. I..." I wanted to explain. I wanted to tell him everything. But I didn't get the chance.
"Can't you just leave me the fuck alone? Get out! Just get out of my house!" He reached for the lamp beside his bed and launched it at the floor. I stood paralyzed as I watched it crash into pieces. I glanced between the shards of glass and Edward. He'd regularly irritated me or pissed me off, but this was the first time he genuinely scared me. I was terrified.
The next thing I knew I was running. Across the room, over to my side, into my room. I threw all of the things I could get my hands on into my bag and wrapped my coat around my body. I couldn't stay here anymore. I had to get out. There was no other way.
I glanced back at Edward for one moment before I whipped the door open and ran outside. I should have ran to Jasper. He could have done something to make this better. But I didn't. I just ran.
I stumbled through the snow down the driveway and almost ran into the gate. I shivered as the cold wind whipped around me. Maybe I could get back to my truck. Maybe my phone charger was in there. Maybe I could wait until the weather gets better and walk into town.
I started back in the direction of where my truck was, clinging desperately to my coat trying to keep warm. The gate was getting smaller and smaller behind me until I rounded a bend in the road and it completely disappeared. I was alone.
I stopped mid-step when I heard a howl echo out from the trees. I pushed forward as my hands started shaking from the cold. I'd forgotten to grab my gloves in my rush. I sighed in relief when I spotted my truck ahead, half buried in snow.
As I got closer and closer to reaching it, I started to realize how bad of an idea this was. It was snowing and below freezing out here. I could freeze to death. I could get hypothermia. Be completely miserable all night shivering in my truck.
I stopped and bit down on my lip. I should go back. I need to go back. This was crazy.
I spun back around as another howl bellowed out from the darkness. It was no longer a distant cry. It was here. And the wolf was right in front of me.
"Shit," I mumbled. I slowly put my hands up defensively as he bared its teeth and growled again. "Nice puppy." My eyes flitted towards my truck. Could I make it? Could I even get the door open? I took a tentative step towards it and the wolf leaped towards me, closing the gap.
"Damnit Bella are you fucking crazy!" A voice yelled. I squinted through the snow and saw a figure moving towards me. "It's cold as hell, you'll freeze out here!"
"Edward," I whispered. The wolf growled and whipped in his direction. "Edward look out!" I screamed. He immediately stopped and stared at the menacing creature between us. At this moment I wanted nothing more than to be back at the house arguing with him. I'd give anything.
"Don't move," Edward said softly. "Don't move I'm coming to you." He hesitantly stepped to the side, walking cautiously around the wolf. It growled again and snapped its teeth. I was so terrified I was forgetting to breathe. When he finally reached me, he stepped protectively in front of me and I let out a huge breath. I grabbed onto his shoulders and he reached behind him and took firm hold of my hips. "Okay we're going to move...very slowly back towards the house."
We took a step and then another. The wolf mimicked our moves, following us with his eyes the entire time. I knew in the pit of my stomach that he was going to attack. I just didn't know when.
I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead into Edward's back, trying to find some warmth.
"Edward I'm scared," I mumbled.
"It's okay," Edward said. His words struck me since they were the words I'd been using to calm him every night. Now he was the one comforting me.
I heard the wolf snarl an instant before we were knocked to the ground. Edward threw his body over mine as the wolf lunged at him. He winced and screamed in pain when it sunk its teeth into his shoulder. He swung his elbow around, trying to get the animal off him but it wouldn't loosen its grip. He tried again and connected with his stomach, sending it back with a yelp.
Edward quickly helped me up and steadied me with his hands. "I want you to run. Run back to the house."
"I'm not leaving you out here!" I screamed.
"Just fucking do it!" He yelled. The cold wind almost pierced my skin as I blinked away the tears. "I'll be right behind you. Go!" He gently pushed me away and I started running even though I didn't want to.
I was crying and out of breath when I reached the house. I bypassed the front door and went around to Jasper's house, pounding furiously on the door as soon as I reached it.
He opened it after a few moments, his eyes heavy with sleep.
"Bella? What's wrong?"
"You have to help him. I ran away...and...wolf."
He looked behind me and cursed under his breath. "Go to the house and wait for us." He disappeared into his house and returned with a shot gun. He took off around the house and I went in the back door, still shivering with the cold.
I paced back and forth in the kitchen, biting anxiously on my nails waiting for them to return. As soon as I heard the front door open and the subsequent cursing ring out, I ran from the kitchen. Jasper was carrying the shot gun in one hand and helping Edward with the other. His shirt was ripped at the shoulder from where he'd been bitten, as well as farther down his arm. The fringes of the tears were lightly tinged with dark blood.
"Is he okay?" I asked. Jasper set the gun down on the table.
"He'll be fine. I'll go get the first aid kit." He rushed up the stairs.
"Here come in here." I led Edward to the kitchen and told him to sit down. He pulled himself up onto the counter and I ran to the sink to get a towel. I ran it under the water and turned back to him. "Take your shirt off so I can see."
He sighed and pulled his shirt over his head. I gasped when I saw his back. There was a large tattoo across his skin, etched in the blackest ink I'd ever seen. I reached out and lightly touched the wings of the bird.
"A phoenix..." I whispered. Edward shivered at my touch and brought me back to my work. I walked around to the front of him and positioned myself between his knees so I could get a closer look at his wounds. "This might hurt a little..." I pressed the cloth to his shoulder and he stiffened.
"Fuck!" He hissed. His jaw clenched tight and he started breathing roughly through his nose.
"I'm sorry. I have to get it clean." I just prayed that the damn wolf didn't have rabies or some shit. I assumed since his dad was a doctor he was up to date on all of his shots, but I was still worried it was going to get infected.
He slowly started to relax a little more with each passing moment. He watched me as I worked, occasionally glancing up from his shoulder to meet my eyes.
"Um..." I mumbled. "I'm sorry. For everything. That was stupid." I went to the sink and rewetted the cloth before resuming my work. "And thank you. For saving me."
"You're welcome." He sighed. "And I'm...sorry for what I said to you."
Something crashed to the floor across the room. I whipped around and saw Jasper standing in the doorway, the first aid kit on the floor. Edward narrowed his eyes at him as he started picking it up.
"Um..." Jasper started. "We didn't have time to grab your bag Bella. I'm going to go get it for you."
"Jasper you don't have to do that."
"It's no problem." He smiled and looked at Edward once more before leaving.
I finished cleaning Edward's shoulder and moved onto his forearm.
"So when did you get your tattoo?" I asked.
"After my parents died."
I almost felt bad for asking. I didn't know it had anything to do with his parents.
"Why the phoenix?"
He shrugged. "No reason I guess. It was the only scar I got to choose and I wanted it to be something beautiful..." He looked at me as he spoke and I felt my whole body flourish with heat. I chanced a peek at him and found myself mesmerized by his lips.
"It is really beautiful," I mumbled.
I finished cleaning up his arm and put some disinfectant on both areas. I taped some gauze on it and he shivered again as soon as my fingers touched him.
"I'm sorry I guess I'm still a little cold," I laughed nervously and waited for him to say something sarcastic.
Instead he took my hands in his and brought them up to his lips. His eyes stayed locked on mine as he took a deep breath and lightly blew the warm air onto my skin. I sighed as my hands started to warm with each breath he took.
The slam of the front door startled us and I immediately pulled my hands away, almost like I was scared of being caught like this. I knew how intimate it would look to Jasper and it made my heart race.
"I'm going to go take a hot bath. I should probably change your bandages in the morning." I smiled slightly and left the room just as Jasper entered.
I grabbed my bag that he'd left by the door and ran upstairs. I threw my bag on my bed and instantly went to the bathroom to start my bath. Once I'd stripped out of my clothes, I stood at the base of the tub tapping my foot. Something was making me anxious. I mean besides the fact that I was almost dinner to a wild animal.
I finally stepped into the tub of warm water and hummed to myself as my body started feeling normal again. Or as normal as it could feel right now.
He protected me. I never expected that. Of course I didn't think he'd flat out let me get eaten by a wolf, but I didn't expect him to make himself that vulnerable to save me. It was a completely selfless act, which wasn't something he was really known for. He got hurt for me. He risked his life for me. I didn't know what to make of it.
I soaked in the tub until I was completely warm. When I got out, I wrapped myself up in a towel and stumbled to bed. I was just about to lay down when I heard their voices at the top of the staircase. I knew they were trying to be quiet, but I could still hear them.
"Are you really that blind Edward?" Jasper asked. I crept closer to my door and pressed my ear to it.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Edward snapped.
"Just go ahead. Keep playing dumb." Jasper laughed. "We both know what you did. And I heard what you said to her."
A door slammed and everything fell silent. I sighed and retreated back to my bed. What the hell was that about?
I woke up the next morning and went downstairs to get some new bandages from the first aid kit. I didn't see Edward downstairs so he must still be in bed. I didn't know if I was still technically banned from his side of the house since I'd officially been caught over there. Regardless of the technicalities, I went up the stairs and knocked on his bedroom door.
"What?" He yelled.
"Edward its Bella. Can I come in? I just want to look at your bandages." I held my breath as I waited for him to answer.
"Okay."
I sighed and pushed the door open. He sat in his bed, propped up against the headboard in the same clothes from last night. He reached up and scratched a little at his bandage.
"Don't do that," I scolded.
"Well it fucking itches," he complained.
I shook my head and ambled over to his bed. I glanced at the space beside him before cautiously sitting down. He reached up to scratch it again and I smacked his hand away.
"I said don't do that."
He glared at me and huffed. I leaned forward and started pulling his bandages away.
"I heard you and Jasper talking on the stairs last night," I said. His eyes flickered towards me and then looked out the window. "What did he mean?"
"About what?" He asked.
"About everything?"
He sighed. "He thinks I'm acting...different now."
"You are acting different."
He rolled his eyes and I finished checking his wounds in silence. When I was done I picked up all my trash and started towards the door.
"You know what's a little ironic?" I asked, my hand resting lightly on the doorknob. "On the anniversary of the night you think you took away your parent's life, you saved mine." I opened the door and stepped out. I narrowed my eyes and nodded towards his bandages. "And don't scratch those." I cocked my eyebrow and closed the door behind me as I walked out.
I couldn't help but smile to myself. He was different.
Disclaimer: No wolves were harmed in the writing of this chapter
A/N: Thanks for reading. If you haven't already, I'd really appreciate it if you'd go to the Lemonade Stand and vote for Love Like Winter to be one of their featured fics next week. Voting only goes until tomorrow and we're a little behind right now. It takes two seconds and I've even included the link on my profile page so you can just click on it. Thank you!
Secret Life readers, I'm going to start on the next chapter this weekend. I was just really excited to get to this point in LLW so the chapter wouldn't shut up.