S.M. owns Twilight. I own the Special Edition DVD of Beauty and the Beast. kdillin is my beta and she deserves a big, shiny castle.

Edward

The thorns of the roses were cutting into my hands as I trudged through the snow and into the trees. I knew she was behind me the entire time, keeping herself about twenty steps away. I knew from the moment I saw her in that window that I wanted her to come with me. I wanted her to meet my parents.

I came out here every Christmas to lay flowers on their graves. It became my ritual. I was usually too fucked up on the actual anniversary of their deaths that I had to go another day and this just happened to be it.

I walked straight through the clearing and stopped in front of the tombstone. My hands trembled and I couldn't tell if it was from the weight of today or from the cold. Even though the thorns were digging sharply into my skin, I didn't let go. I stood paralyzed, reading over their names again and again like I was still trying to convince myself of the truth.

I leaned over and brushed the snow off the top of the stone. It was so quiet out here that I could hear her breathing behind me. It was almost comforting in a way. Like every time I felt like I was going to lose it I concentrated on her. I knew she wouldn't always be here or able to help. But she was here now.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and told myself to breathe. I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I leaned forward and placed the flowers on their grave. My hand stung in a thousand different places as the thorns pulled away.

As soon as the stems left my hand, she slipped her hand against my palm and weaved her fingers between mine. I closed my eyes as she turned towards me and pressed her forehead into my shoulder. And it made me so fucking angry. I was angry at myself for what I'd become. This wasn't how this was supposed to be.

My life could have been normal. I could have gone through school like every other kid, done well and gone off to college. I could still have my parents with me. I could have avoided all this bullshit that controls my life. And I could have been good for Bella instead of this fucked up version of myself. My ego got in the way. It ruined everything.

My knees gave out from under me and I fell to the cold, wet snow beneath me. I ripped my hand from Bella's and pounded furiously on the ground, screaming out all the hate I possessed and love I never did. It'd consumed me so much that all I could see was darkness. Until I saw her. Even though I denied her at first, I had started clinging onto the hope that she could save me from all of this. I hated putting that burden on her, but I needed it. I needed her to be here without even realizing it. I realized it now.

"Edward?" She dropped down beside me and placed her hand softly on my shoulder. "It's okay."

"No it's not," I said. "I can't even….apologize to them for what I did. I could never say it."

"Well say it now."

"I can't…" I said slowly. I didn't know why the words wouldn't come out. I thought them a million times, always a constant thought in my head. But whenever my lips moved to speak them, nothing came out. I think part of it was that saying it out loud made it real. And it wasn't that it wasn't real now, but those two words left me so vulnerable that it made me tremble with fear. I had no problem saying them to Bella. She was here; it could make her feel better. I couldn't change what happened to my parents.

"You can. Maybe not today, but when you're ready to say it, and I mean really ready…you'll say it. Don't push yourself." She wrapped her arms around me and pulled herself closer.

"It's been seven years."

"And maybe it'll take another seven years. There's no time limit on grief or forgiveness."

"I can't ask them for forgiveness when they aren't here to hear it," I snapped.

"I wasn't talking about them. They're your parents Edward, they've already forgiven you. You need to forgive yourself. Otherwise this thing is going to kill you. It's got such a tight hold on you that it's going to drag you under if you don't let it go." She crawled in front of me and forced me to look at her. "Do you hear me?" She grabbed my chin and cocked her eyebrow.

"It's not that easy."

"I never said it was going to be easy," she mumbled. "Is that what you think? That it should be easy?" Her expression grew tense. "This is going to be the hardest thing you'll ever do."

"Okay," I sighed and looked down at the ground. "I'll work on it."

"Okay." She reached down and grabbed one of my hands again. It felt nice. I wasn't really into holding hands when I was with girls, but I did when I wanted to show someone that they were mine. This was different. It wasn't about showing off. We were the only ones here. There was no one to impress, no territory to claim. It was just me and her.

"Thank you for bringing me with you," she said. I tensed when she buried her head into my chest, but once I got over the shock I snaked my arms around her waist and sighed. I hesitantly leaned down and pressed my lips to her hair. My breath became shaky as her hands roamed lightly up and down my lower back, so soft that it was barely there. Like her fingers were tracing beautiful pictures across my skin.

My fingers twisted, grasping and fisting her shirt as I held her. "I like it when you hold me," she whispered. She shivered in my arms and I finally realized that she was only wearing a sweatshirt.

"Why the hell aren't you wearing a coat?" I asked.

"I just pulled on the first thing I could find." She shrugged.

"You're going to catch fucking pneumonia out here what were you thinking?" I pulled her closer and rubbed my hands furiously over her arms hoping to warm her up. "Let's get back to the house."

I pulled both of us up and took her hand again as we started across the meadow. We didn't say a word on the way back to the house and it gave me some time to think. Or I guess not to think. To have a moment of peace. It was so quiet out here in the woods with her. There was nothing but the crinkle of the snow beneath our feet. It was something so simple and so fucking pure and I was completely overwhelmed that something could even feel like this.

I stopped us just before we stepped out of the trees and turned towards her. "Bella…I…" I shook my head. "I want to tell you something."

"Okay."

I took a deep breath and allowed my hand to drift up to her neck. She leaned into my palm and hummed against my skin. "You give me peace."

She smiled and I felt my chest ache.

We continued back to the house. There was no sign of Jasper so I figured he must be holed up in his house. I walked Bella to her room, but she hesitated halfway inside.

"Um…do you maybe want to…come in?" She leaned against her door.

"Oh." I ran my fingers through my hair. "Yeah sure. I'll just go get some wood for your fire."

She nodded and I took off down the hallway. She was actually inviting me into her room. She wanted to spend time with me and I didn't know what this all meant. Our relationship was obviously changing.

I went downstairs and grabbed some more firewood before heading back upstairs. I hesitated outside her door for a few moments before I finally knocked. There was no answer so I opened the door and stuck my head inside.

The room was mostly dark, except for the faint glow of the light coming from the bathroom. I cleared my throat and sauntered over to her fireplace. I set a few logs inside and lit a match to get it going. I grabbed the poker and pushed it around a little.

"Edward?" Bella called.

"Yeah?"

"I'll be out in a minute. I just wanted to change; my clothes got a little wet outside."

"Okay." I stood up and looked around the room, a little unsure of if I should sit or stand or what the hell I was supposed to do. I finally settled on a chair in the corner of the room and rested my hands on my stomach. My eyes roamed around the room, taking in the little hints of her. Some of her clothes were strewn over the floor or hanging on the bedpost. A few books lay on her nightstand, one of them lying open about halfway through. I picked it up and started browsing through, careful not to lose her spot. I can only imagine her outburst if I fucked something up.

I idly glanced over the top of the book at the bathroom and my breath caught in my throat. Skin. All I could see was skin from her shoulders to her lower back. I could see every shadow and peak of the contours of her back. Through the crack in the door, I watched her hold her shirt to her chest as she looked around the countertop for something. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and glanced up at the mirror, catching my eye in the reflection.

I panicked and thought she would freak out that I was watching her, but she didn't. She held my gaze for a few moments before calmly stepping behind the door. I blinked a few times and returned to the book.

I heard the click of the bathroom light switch and looked up again as Bella walked in the room with some sweatpants and a t-shirt on.

"Hey," she mumbled.

"Hey." I set the book down as she plopped down on her bed. "You like books?"

"I do." She smiled. "I've read all of them more than once since I've been here. I wasn't planning on having this much free time."

"Where were you supposed to be?"

She hesitated before she spoke. "Well I don't know if it was where I was supposed to be, but I was heading to Europe."

"Why Europe?"

"I don't know I just…" She propped herself up on her elbow. "I couldn't stay in that town anymore. It just felt like I was getting stuck there. Like I was waiting for some type of purpose to come walking by me and it never did. So I decided to go out and find it."

"And did you?" I cocked my eyebrow.

"We'll see, but it looks promising."

I laughed and glanced at her nightstand again. I noticed a picture of her and an older man, her father. I winced at little when I saw how happy they looked together.

"That's my dad," she said.

"Yeah I know," I sighed. "I had a few chats with him in my younger years."

"Oh." She nodded. "Right I forgot you were a little hell raiser."

"That I was." I tapped my finger on the arm of the chair. "So are you close? You and your dad?"

"Yeah I guess. I mean we're not really overly emotional with each other, but we have an understanding. I love him a lot."

"And you miss him?" I wanted her to say no. I wanted her to say that she was happy here. Was she happy here?

"I'd miss him wherever I was. He's my dad."

"Yeah." I nodded. I guess that's what she should say. She and I had a very different idea of family. "What about your mom?"

"She lives in Florida with her husband. I don't really see her much. I moved in with my dad when I was in high school."

I nodded and rested my head against the back of the chair.

"Edward how did you get your scars?"

I looked down and felt my blush creep onto my skin. "I…uh…" I stuttered.

"I'm sorry." She jumped off the bed and stood before me, tugging lightly on the ends of her hair.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you that." Her hands fell to her sides as she bit down on her lip. "Can I try something?"

"Okay," I whispered.

She cautiously stepped forward and placed her knees on either side of my hips as she pulled herself over me. She sat back on my legs, creating a little distance, and pulled her shirt up slightly. "Can you see it?"

"See what?"

"When I was five I had to have my appendix removed." She grabbed my finger and brushed it over her skin. I could feel a small pocket of raised skin. "I have them too. I mean I know they're not like yours," she mumbled. "But everyone has scars."

She pulled her hand away from mine, but I lingered on her stomach, running my finger over her scar. For some fucked up reason, it was comforting.

"You're still beautiful…" I said.

"So are you." She hesitantly lifted her hand. "Can I?"

I didn't know what she meant at first, but when I didn't answer she slowly moved her hand forward and ran her fingers lightly over my skin. I closed my eyes and allowed my other hand to drift up to her stomach. I loved holding her like this. It felt like I think it was supposed to feel. When you feel something for someone. This is what it's like.

She pulled herself closer to me, brushing her hips against mine. I groaned under my breath and wanted to pull her against me again. I wanted that friction with her. Every time she touched me it set my skin on fire and it always left me wanting more.

Her fingers danced just below my eyes and across my cheeks, tracing the unnatural lines in my skin. It wasn't like she was just touching them, she was caressing them. Like I wasn't a monster. Like maybe they're just another part of me.

"Is this okay?" She whispered.

"Yes," I breathed. I opened my eyes and was surprised to find her so close. I felt her sweet breath wash over me and moved my hands to her hips. I pulled her forward a little, forcing her against the bulge in my jeans. Her eyes found mine and I expected her to freak out, but she didn't. She opened her mouth like she was about to speak, but nothing came out. Silence.

We both sat there frozen for a long minute before I cleared my throat and sat up a little. She sighed and her hands fell from my face. They rested on her thighs, tapping lightly on her legs like she was trying to figure out a complicated riddle.

"Uh…" I looked around the room, frantic about what to say or do. I spotted her books lying by the bed. "I want to show you something."

"Okay." She smiled a little and removed herself from my lap. I stood up and put my hands in my pockets as I walked towards the door. I looked back and saw her still standing by the chair.

"Well come on." I nodded towards the door. I opened it and stepped out into the hallway. She followed quickly after and I led her towards my side of the house. She looked a little confused when we stopped in front of the first door. I assumed that she hadn't snuck in on her adventures over here. I could imagine if she really loved books as much as it seems that she couldn't have resisted sneaking a few back to her room.

I reached for the handle, stopping short of twisting it open. "Close your eyes."

"Really?" She said, crossing her arms in front of her. She was irritated.

"It's still Christmas and I didn't give you a gift yet. So yes. Really." I laughed and waited for her to do as I said. She rolled her eyes at me and finally closed them tight.

"Okay they're closed."

"Are you cheating?"

"No," she said. I narrowed my eyes at her just to test her. When I was convinced they were really closed I opened the door to the library. I turned around and grabbed her hands so I could lead her inside.

"Stay here for a minute." I let her go and turned on the two lamps in there. There were still embers glowing in the fireplace from this morning, so I added a few logs before I stepped back in front of her. I did one last look around to make sure everything was how I wanted it. "Okay. Open your eyes."

She inched her eyes open and gasped. "Edward…" She breathed, taking in all of the books. "Jasper wasn't kidding when he called this a library." She spun around smiling.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it. It's beautiful."

"Good. I want you to come in here…whenever you like. Take whatever books you want."

She started to protest, but I held my hand up. "No arguing. It's yours."

"I will agree to this on one condition." She took a step towards me and cocked her eyebrow. "Will you play for me?"

"If I must."

"You must."

"Fine." I sauntered over to the piano and sat down. I brushed my fingers along the keys, trying to decide what to play. And then I finally did. I played what I was feeling, little bits and pieces of my thoughts, all laid out on the keys. Bella smiled and started ambling around the library, occasionally pulling out a book or two and taking a closer look. Once she found one that she liked she went over to the couch by the fireplace and sat down. She glanced my way before she opened it to the first page and started reading.

I played for a while longer, enough to appease her at least. When I was finished I poured myself a drink and sat down on the chair across from her. She raised her eyebrows at me and nodded towards my drink.

"What I can't drink?" I snapped.

"You didn't ask if I wanted one?"

"Do you want one?"

"Yes I would thank you." She went back to her book. I got up, poured her a drink and sat it at the table beside her. She smiled and took a sip.

I sat back down and found myself occupied with her presence. My drink rested in my lap as I watched her read through what must have been chapters and chapters of books. I watched her until my drink was gone two times over and she never looked up once. I couldn't get over the way the flickers of the fire danced over her skin, making it glow in the most exquisite way I've ever seen. She was soft. Stunning. Especially when she got to a particularly mysterious part in the book. I could tell because her eyes moved faster and faster across the page and she started nibbling on her thumb like she was on the edge of her seat waiting to see what was going to happen. When it was over she sighed in relief and relaxed back into the couch. It was captivating to watch her read. Almost like I was reading the book with her.

She finally looked up and noticed me watching her.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing." I smirked and took a sip of my drink. I'd had enough that I was starting to feel buzzed, a little more relaxed than I was before. I swished it around in my mouth before swallowing with a loud gulp.

"Have you been watching me this whole time?"

"You're very fascinating while you read."

"My dad tells me I tend to get lost in the story. Says he might as well be talking to a wall."

I laughed and swirled my drink around in my cup. She took a large sip of hers, finishing off her first glass. I got up and quickly poured her another.

She went back to reading, except every now and then she'd peek at me over the top of her book.

"What happened to getting lost?" I asked.

"I know you're watching now."

"And does that bother you?"

"No. It's just…" She shook her head and tried to avoid smiling. "Now that I know you're there I can't…look away."

We continued in this pattern for an immeasurable amount of time. She pretended to read while I made no measure to hide that I was watching her. She'd read a page or two and glance up at me. We started out smiling at each other or she'd make a face, but as the minutes passed they turned into stares full of questions and intrigue. It was like we were having a silent conversation, but nothing was being said. It was just a feeling, like we were connecting on a different level. I found myself in her eyes, a version of myself I never knew I could be. She finally set the book down on her stomach and settled down into the couch.

"Razor blades," I murmured.

"What?" She sat up.

"My scars. They're from razor blades."

A/N: Phew. Sexual tension is starting to go through the roof.

Voting is open in the One Shot Soundtrack. I'd appreciate if you head on over and vote for your favorite entry : )

Love Is In the Air Contest should have a ballot out for voting relatively soon according to my sources. I have an entry in that so make sure you vote for your favorite.

I will probably not be able to update either of my stories until at least a week from Thursday (3/10) because a. I have midterms this week b. Next week I will be in Florida at Harry Potter World. I know, I know you're really jealous. I will probably be the oldest and most excited person there. Anyway I didn't want you looking for anything when I won't be around to write it. I decided to go with a LLW update over SL this week just because I'm already stressed and SL makes me really emo so I nixed it for this week. Both should be back and running after I get back.

Thank you again everyone for your reviews and all the recc's I get for this story. It's greatly appreciated and I really love reading all your reviews. You are all very smart and very hilarious and you make me smile. Have a great couple of weeks!