Red vs. Blue: Church's Nephew

Chapter 3: Can't We Just Talk This Out?

I don't own Red vs. Blue

KABOOM!"Can't we just talk this out?" Asked Grif hiding behind the destroyed Warthog.

"NEVER!" Sergeant Church replied

KABOOM

Wash shot a turret at the destroyed Warthog.

Donut ran to some cover, shooting his Assault Rifle, they ducked.

"Suck it, Blues!" Yelled Sarge

Wash started shooting at the rock that Sarge was hiding behind.

Simmons threw a grenade, hitting the base.

"You diabolical Blues!""You retarded Reds!"

"You diabolical Blues!""You retarded Reds!""Are you sure we can't talk this out?" Asked Grif

"SHUT UP!" Both Sarge and Sergeant Church yelled

"You never like my ideas, but when it comes to Simmons, oh no, his ideas are the best!" "You diabolical Blues!""You retarded Reds!"

"You diabolical Blues!""You retarded Reds!"

Caboose threw a grenade, almost hitting Simmons.

Tucker shot his Battle Rifle.

"DIE!"

Sergeant Church went inside the base…"It's time for my new experiment!"

Church sprang into action, getting a pistol.

"A pistol?" Asked Tucker

"No!"

He shot it, as a dozen small bullets shot, they exploded as if they were a dozen grenades.

"It works! Now this assault rifle should work too!"Church shot bullets that blew up, repeated fire.

"Wow! If that works! This turret should work now!""Advance! In the opposite direction!" Sarge yelled as the red team ran

"You'll never escape!"

The blue base's top opened up, to see a large group of missiles, Church pushed a button, as all the missiles launched.

"Run for your life!"

"Die, you Reds, DIE!" Yelled Sergeant Church as he laughed crazily

"Sarge, are you SURE we can't talk this out?"

They all hid behind a rock, until the missiles ran out.

"Whew, we're safe!" Donut cheered

KABOOM!

"I have a large armory of these experiments!" Yelled Church

BOOM, BOOM!

"Costanza! Take the turret! Tucker, get the Grenade Assault Rifle, I'll get the laser needler, and Caboose…. DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!

Grenades and laser needles shot around them!

"That's it! I'm getting outta here!" Yelled Donut and ran

All of a sudden, needles shot up his back, melting his armor, he fell.

"Surround them!"

The Blue team looked behind the rock, no body was there!

They looked at Red Base, seeing the Red Team run inside.

"Ah, forget them! Get the pink girl!""You mean guy" Said Wash

"He's a MALE!"

Tucker and Caboose grabbed him up.

"Well, well. What's your name? Little girl?""Um, I'm a man, and your needles are melting my skin!""So what? I had my legs blown off at Reach! These are mechanical! Tell us your deepest secret!"

"Um, I'm Franklin Delano, or Donut. My deepest secret, um… I like men.""No, what? Not YOUR deepest secret, by your, I mean your team!""I'LL NEVER TELL YOU!""Fine, take him to the torture chambers!""We have torture chambers?" Asked Tucker

"No, I built them!"

RED BASE

The three entered the base.

"Oh my God, they got Donut!" Said Simmons"So what?" Said Grif

"Let's just go to sleep!""Why Grif, you're so lazy, you won't even TRY to help him!" Sarge said

"Eh, what else is new?"

TO BE CONTINUED