Red vs. Blue: Church's Nephew
Chapter 7: Pretty Please?
I don't own Red vs. Blue
It has been two weeks, ever since the destruction of Red Base. The Reds have been hiding in the caves.
"Oh…" Sarge groaned
"I feel so sick!""Me too, Sarge." Said Simmons before throwing up
"Thanks a lot, Church!" Said Grif
"Do you mean Caboose?" Asked Simmons
"Caboose? Who's that?"
Caboose got up, reading a piece of paper.
"Atetion, Red Team…it is me…ser…sar…Sergeant Church! We gave…Ca…Caboose a…" Caboose tried to read before Simmons grabbed it
"Attention, Red Team, it is me, Sergeant Church. We gave Caboose a virus…your lungs will collapse in about…TWO WEEKS! If you want the cure… come to Blue Base…"
BLUE BASE
"Here you go…sir." Said Tucker, giving the sergeant some punch and Wash a beer.
"Wow…those are the little drinks with the umbrellas in them!"
"Sir, thank you for this break…""Of course…Washington…" He said
"Wait…I'm not…"
"It's OK…you're secret's safe with me!
""Actually…both teams know…"
"Oh, well, I want you to know, hard, good work. Doesn't go unnoticed! I may seem evil at first…and I am! But I'm nice to good, hard working people!"
"Thank you! That means a lot!"
"Your welcome…do you think the virus worked?"
"Maybe there already dead…it HAS been two weeks!"
"Maybe…maybe. You know Washington, I always wanted to be a Freelancer!"
"You have?"
"My uncle…as you know as Church…raised me. He said he was a Freelancer, well, once I found out he lied. I stabbed him with a spoon…then I really was going to join to show him…well stupid director has a age limit! So, I decided…to show him a kid could do him job and be better than him. So I joined…they would have denied me…until I showed them how powerful I REALLY was…""How'd you do that?""We were suppose to fight some guy in hand to hand combat…I ripped his ear off. So that's why I'm here today!"
"How many teams did you command?"
"Seventy Three! All successful!"
"Nice…"
"Is it hard to become a Freelancer…"
"If your well trained…it's a breeze, but I think you can't throw bricks at people!"They both laughed.
Hm, maybe Sergeant Church isn't so bad after all! Wash thought
"You know Sergeant Church…"
"Call me Joseph!""
"Call me David…"
"Costanza! I knew that was a fake name when I heard it!"
"How did you know?"
"First off, there's a guy who's last name is Costanza in a show called 'Seinfeld!' and there was a David Costanza in my last squad!"
"Oh…" Said Wash before bursting out laughing…"Hey, Blues!" Called Sarge
"Did you get our note?"
"Yeah! Can we have the cure?""Sure!" He said before tossing down an odd liquid in a bottle
Sarge drank it, gave it to Simmons, Simmons drank it, gave it to Grif, Grif drank it, gave it to Caboose, Caboose drank it, and gave it to the grass.
Everyone had one there mind…until Grif finally said it…"This tastes like pee!"
"Really? Maybe that's because…IT IS URINE!"
The Red Team remained silent…until they spit it all out.
"What a horrible trick! I knew you couldn't trust these blues!"
"I'll give it to you…under one condition…there's a legend…"
"About the Golden AK-47?"
"Hey…shut up! There's a legend about a super solider Spartan…"
"Master Chief?"
"Hey….zip it! There's a legend about a Spartan BEFORE Master Chief…called….Master Chef!"
"Master Chef…"
'They said his armor was made of gold and has diamonds! And her gun shot...brownies! They say she died… getting the index! From Halo's library…bring me her armor and gun…and I'll give you the cure!"
"What if we die of the virus?"
"Here's the real cure, all of you take a pint every day…that should keep you alive. There's a supply of three weeks in there!"
"What if we take it and cure ourselves?"
"That's Cure B…it doesn't get rid of it…it only postpones the death!"
"Where is the library?"
"I don't know! Look for a big building! Bye bye…now get off our property!"
The Red Team walked away… the Sergeant sat down…
"Did you make it up…or is it real?" Asked Wash
"I…have absolutely no idea at all… they'll probably die!"
"Yeah…stupid Reds…"
"Well...be in my office, David...see ya!"
"Bye!"
He walked to his office.
"What a fool he is! Now that we are friends...it will be much easier to kill him!"
He took out a pistol...
"This pistol will work great, it's power can shoot through armor, killing them quickly!"
He opened his laptop.
A voice on his laptop greeted him
"May you please put in the password!"
"Nuclear, N-U-C-L-E-A-R!"
"Possessing...Prossessing... Hello Joseph how are you today?"
(Image a look like F.I.L., only it's a male voice with a British accent)
"I'm very well, Micheal! How are you?"
"What would you like me to say, sir?"
"Always say your great..."
"Possessing...I'm great sir!"
"Good...good."
"So...now me and Wash are friends...it will be easier to kill him now!"
"That's great sir! And I'm not saying that because I have to!"
"You are...aren't you?"
"Possessing...prossessing... ERROR...ERROR...unavailable to answer question...wink!"
"Oh...OK! Soon the Nuclear Bomb will be detonated, and I will be getting my money and my technology I worked for all those years for them! And my title! "Agent California!" Doesn't that sound great Micheal?"
"Yes it does... sir!"
"I can just image it! The Director, giving me my badge! The applause, ALL FOR ME! All I need to do is kill them!"
TO BE CONTINUED