Black Ice: Ch. 5

By: The Confused One

A/N: Well, it's been long in coming, but more chapters for Black Ice and a whole lot of my other stories should be coming soon. Please enjoy and review. Thanks.

Bobby collapsed back on the bed. Staring at the ceiling, he was ignoring Mike and his knocking. Lost in a memory, he was startled when Milo jumped up on the bed and tried to lick him. Bobby pushed him away. Sitting up, he swallowed hard and glared at the dog. He was desperately trying not to blame Milo and take his anger out on him. Milo had no understanding of what had happened. Ironically, Bobby noted that it had stopped snowing hours ago. The weathermen had all been incredibly wrong. Not even close. She would have been able to get home fine. Bitterly, he picked Milo up. He wrenched the door open. Coming face to face with Mike, Bobby shoved the dog into his arms. He snapped, "The dog wanted out."

Mike, almost bewildered, nodded. Deciding to take things slower and not push, he stroked Milo's head. "Ok…" He was relieved that Bobby hadn't instantly shut the door back. He hadn't retreated completely into the bedroom. With a tad more confidence, he decided to try again. He ventured, "Deakins, he…wanted to know if you had called her family."

Taking a shaky breath, Bobby put his hand to his mouth. Shaking his head, he confessed, "I…didn't. I didn't think."

Mike wasn't surprised at this at all. He nodded slowly. "Don't worry about it. I'll…"

Anger flashed in Bobby's eyes again. He interrupted, "No. I'll call them. I have to do it."

Mike took a step back. He understood that if he was going to be fighting Bobby all day, he was going to have to pick his battles. He didn't want to make the call anyway, and he felt guilty about that. He was going to let Bobby indulge his guilt complex because he didn't want to make the call. With a sigh, he tried to compromise with Bobby. "Alright. You just have to promise to eat what I fix afterwards."

Bobby gave him a contemptuous glare. Walking back into the bedroom, he picked up his cell phone. Going down the list of names and numbers, he stopped when he found the names he was looking for. Sinking onto the bed, he idly wondered how much longer he would be allowed to dial this number that had become so familiar to him over the years. Once they found out what happened, how could they not blame him? He finally pushed the green button and let his phone dial them. Closing his eyes, he ignored Mike's piercing stare, and a part of him didn't want them to answer.

He sucked in a surprised breath as he heard Mary Eames' sing song voice. "Eames residence."

Swallowing hard, it occurred to him just how badly he was about to shatter her world. His voice shook, as he finally spoke. "It's Bobby…"

Instantly worried, Mary asked, "Bobby, sweetheart, are you OK?"

Over the years, Alex's family had become like family to him. He wasn't surprised that she could tell something was wrong by his tone. He silently shook his head. He could barely form the words that would hurt her so deeply. "No… No, I'm not… Something…happened last night… An accident…"

All the color drained from Mary's face as she tried to decipher Bobby's words. "Oh, God… Alex… Please tell me she's OK"

Bobby couldn't fight the tears. He couldn't make himself just come out with it. Instead, he explained, "She left my apartment. She hit some black ice, and her car ended up around a tree. She…" He choked on the words. Closing his eyes, he forced the words out, "She…di-died on impact."

Bobby heard the scream, and he heard the phone drop with a loud clatter. Sliding off the bed, he pulled his legs up and sat on the floor, staring at the wall. He heard someone walk in. He assumed it was John. He heard quiet murmurs and more crying. He finally heard the phone being picked up.

John's voice was full of raw emotion. "Bobby?"

Bobby's voice was barely audible. "Yes?" The guilt and shame were eating at him, no matter what Deakins and Mike said. It was his fault, remembering that seemed to keep that bubbling rage down. He could turn it all on himself.

John tried to keep his emotions in check. Sniffling, he asked, "Bobby, are you… Are you OK?"

Bobby was shell-shocked. That was the last question he expected. He fumbled for an answer. "I... I'm at Alex's now, and I'm not OK."

Concerned, John swallowed hard. "Bobby…"

Bobby closed his eyes. He still couldn't believe that he was still talking to him. "I'm not alone. I just… I need to be near her."

John nodded. He was glad he wasn't alone. He sighed. "I-I need to go. I have to call the rest of the family. I'll call you back."

Bobby simply nodded. Almost numb, he agreed, "Yeah… Ok…" He stopped for a moment before adding, "John… I wanted to say…I'm sorry…"

John knew Bobby well enough to head him off at the pass. "Don't do that, Bobby. You didn't know what was going to happen. It's not your fault, son."

Bobby blinked in surprise when he heard John hang up. Closing his eyes, he could picture the Eames' kitchen. He had the perfect image of them sitting on their checkered tile floor, and John cradling Mary in his arms. He was surprised the phone hadn't broken when Mary had dropped it. Placing his phone beside him, Bobby crossed his arms over his knees. Burying his face there, he began to sob again.

Mike put the dog down. He moved in front of Bobby. Squatting down, he put a hand on Bobby's shoulder. He furrowed his brow when Bobby didn't even react, but he didn't let it deter him. The fact that Bobby hadn't pulled away or otherwise reacted negatively was encouraging enough for Mike to stay there.

Starting to calm down, Bobby shakily looked up at Mike. He insisted, "I'll be fine."

Mike sighed. He nodded. He felt totally helpless and lost. Pulling his hand away, he suggested, "How about I go ahead and start on that food?"

Bobby swallowed hard. He gave him a nod. He lowered his head back onto his arms. He didn't make a sound. He just stayed that way, seemingly trapped in his dark cloud of grief. Hearing Mike step out of the room, Bobby began to quietly cry again.

Besides Bobby's heaving chest, just about the only sound in the house was the sound of Mike making eggs and toast. He hoped it was light enough. He knew Bobby couldn't stomach too much food.

The idea that Alex was gone, scarcely felt real to Mike. He sniffled back his own tears. He was struggling against his own breakdown, but he stubbornly wouldn't allow himself the indulgence. It would be a disaster and wouldn't do anyone any good, especially Bobby. Bobby needed a strong hand at the moment, and he had taken up the task. To help Bobby, he had to keep it together.

Finding the plates, glasses, and silverware, Mike pushed the thoughts away. He set the table, pouring juice into the glasses. He was satisfied that breakfast was ready. He called back towards the bedroom, "Bobby, breakfast is ready."

Getting no response, Mike walked down the hall. Stopping in Alex's doorway, he saw that Bobby hadn't moved, and he was making no effort to do so now. He was crying silently. He saw that. With a sigh, he pushed the dog from Bobby. Crouching down, he put his hand on Bobby's shoulder again. He gently tried to remind him, "You promised to eat if I let you call…"

Still getting no visible reaction, Mike spoke a little more forcefully, "Bobby, look at me."

Bobby, who had finally managed to stop crying, swallowed hard. He finally forced his head up. His eyes held all the pain he felt, and he whispered, "I just want to be left alone, Mike. Go help the Eames'. They're the ones who deserve it."

Mike sighed heavily. He was getting sick of this broken record conversation. He angrily demanded, "Up, now!" When Bobby didn't move, Mike sneered, "I said now! You're not doing this, Bobby. You're not chasing me away, and I'm not letting you wallow in this…toxic self-pity. Don't make me force you up."

Suddenly enraged, Bobby got to his feet before Mike did. He pushed Mike back onto his back. Glaring daggers down at him, he shouted, "Don't you dare start telling me how I'm supposed to feel and what I'm supposed to do! Go, damn it! I said get out!"

Scrambling to his feet, Mike met Bobby glare for glare. Here we go again. Unafraid, Mike shot back, "I'll go when you do. I don't give a fuck if you want me around or not. I'm here. You're going nowhere without me, and I don't care how much you resent me for pointing out the truth. I'm not going to let you crawl off somewhere and die of guilt and pity!"

Seeing red, Bobby couldn't stop himself. He punched Mike hard. Before Mike could completely recover, he hit him again. Rage taking over, he couldn't stop himself. Shoving Mike into the wall, he hit him a third time.

Quickly trying to regain his bearings, Mike's chest was heaving. The adrenalin was pumping. Wiping his bloody nose, he saw the fourth punch coming. He ducked it. Taking advantage of Bobby's pain as he hit the wall, Mike grabbed Bobby's arm and slammed him against the wall. Bobby's head was turned to the side. He was breathing hard. Mike leaned forward and hissed. "Stop it!"

Wide-eyed, Bobby tried to catch his breath but otherwise didn't move a muscle. He was shocked at his own behavior, and he struggled to regain control of himself.

Taking a deep breath, Mike loosened his grip just a little. He quietly asked, "If I let you go, you going to stop and cooperate?"

Bobby closed his eyes. Nodding mutely, he felt Mike let go of him completely. He still didn't move.

Watching him for a long moment, Mike was satisfied that Bobby wasn't planning on throwing any more punches, at least for the moment. He walked to the bathroom and took care of his still bleeding nose.

Once he was finished, he finally ventured out of the bathroom. He noted that Bobby was leaning against the wall still, only now he was facing Mike. Mike sighed. "Come on. Let's eat."

Bobby took a deep breath. He was too ashamed to react at all. He was reeling from his adrenalin rush and the full on rage against someone who didn't deserve it. He waited till Mike sighed again and finally walked past him to follow him to the kitchen. He quietly sat down at the table and stared at his plate, to avoid looking up at Mike. He silently forced himself to eat. He was going to try hard to behave as best he could from here on. Neither Bobby nor Mike spoke a word.