You guys continue to amaze me with your lovely reviews and support of this story! I am just blown away with your kindness. Thank you sincerely!
Ginginlee betas this madness, and lizzylillyrose, morethanmyself, and sammielynnsmom tear this apart so good to make it what it is. I love them for fixing my words.
Illicitwriter makes beautiful picteases for SW each week. Check them out on Twificnews, my facebook (kas fanfiction), my twitter kas90_ or my blog: inthelandofwordsandrob . blogspot . com
Also…this contains situations that are not appropriate for people who are under 18. Yes the irony that Bella is only 17 is not lost on me. However, if you want real good lemons that are definitely not appropriate for people under 18, go read Addicted by Lizzylillyrose. She's the only reason I don't pull every last hair from my scalp as I'm writing my pathetic attempts at anything citrus.
…
I kissed Edward before hopping off the ledge, and I waved to the rest of them, all hearing a chorus of 'goodnight's as I walked back into the house. My bedroom was dark, only being illuminated by the moon, and I kept it that way, not bothering to turn on the light as I opened the balcony door, wanting to hear the waves crash as I fell asleep. I climbed into the large bed, pulling the covers over me and falling on the pillow.
I was out in seconds.
I vaguely remembered another body joining me in the bed an unknown time later, but I was too deep into my sleep to turn around and see who it was. And as I felt the weight of the person behind me and an arm circle my waist, it only lulled me deeper into unconsciousness.
Chapter 19
1987
My body felt especially heavy in the bed, and I was way too hot for comfort. I struggled to come out of my sleeping-state, my eyes opening to a bright unfamiliar room, and it took me a second to remember where I was. The sounds of the ocean threatened to lull me back to sleep, but it was the deep breathing coming from behind me that was out of place, and that was when I noticed the arm pinning me down.
Slowly turning around as to not to wake the person, I only smiled and scooted in closer when I saw who it was. I didn't remember him joining me the night before, but it was a nice surprise to wake up to, to say the least.
My face was tucked into his naked chest, his chin resting atop my head, and his arms fell over me tightly. His breathing was still even and deep, so I was glad I hadn't woken him. I had never laid in bed with a man before, and I had to admit, this was nice. A yawn escaped my lips, and I closed my eyes in response, not at all complaining as sleep claimed me once again.
The next time I awoke that morning it was to a hand making patters down the length of my back, over the thin material of my tanktop. I hummed as fingertips danced across my body, barely grazing the hem of my shorts. I opened one eye first, taking in Edward's smiling face as he looked down at me.
His body was mirroring mine, facing me with the side of his head resting on the pillow. His blue eyes were wide and awake, glinting with way too much mischief for this early in the morning.
"What are you thinking?" I croaked out, closing my eyes again and sighing deeply.
"Well, good morning to you, too, baby."
I couldn't help but smile, opening my one eye again to look at him.
"What's that look for?" he asked, amused.
"I like it when you call me baby."
"Hmm, you do?" His smug tone was very much present, and he pulled me closer to him with the arm he had wrapped around me.
"It's kind of nice." I shrugged. "You know...if you're into that sort of thing."
I echoed his laugh and turned on the bed to lie on my back, putting my arms above my head and stretching, feeling my skin sting from being out so long in the sun the day before. The material of my tanktop lifted to expose my stomach, and Edward was quick to rub his hand across my abdomen.
"Are you always this touchy in the morning?" I teased. "I mean, not that I blame you or anything…"
Rolling his eyes, he just responded flatly, "Here I thought you didn't get your usual wit until at least one cup of coffee. Glad to see you proved me wrong."
"Hey," I argued. "I'm not responsible for my words or actions until I get my caffeine, so you better watch it, mister."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm not scared of you, Bella." He rolled above me, holding himself up with his hands that were next to my head, to prove his point. "Since I'm so much bigger…and stronger…and I do seem to have the upper hand here." His raised eyebrow mimicked his side smile, showing just how cocky he was.
"Don't doubt me, Mr. Masen. I'm a force to be reckoned with." I matched his arrogant stare with my own, my arms still above my head and my chest raised, not going unnoticed by him, might I add.
Laughing and leaning down to kiss me once, he said, "That you are, Bella," with an added deep sigh. "That you are."
O.o
Edward and I headed downstairs a little while later, sure that people were probably awake by then since it was already going on eleven. Riley and Rachel were in the kitchen when we walked in, and I was happy to see the pot of coffee still halfway full.
"Morning, y'all," Rachel greeted, flipping the pancakes in the skillet.
"Mmm," Edward hummed excitedly, taking a seat next to Riley at the island. "Pancakes are my favorite!"
Rachel just smiled at him before pouring more of the batter onto the hot surface. "So do you guys want to spend a few hours on the beach or just head home?" she asked, not looking up from counter.
"It doesn't look that pretty out," Riley commented. "It honestly looks like it's going to storm again."
"Seriously?" She huffed, putting the cooked pancakes on a plate. "How many times is it going to freakin' storm this summer? I'm so tired of it!"
"Where's Emmett?" Edward asked, mouth full since he had swiped a cooked pancake from the plate next to the skillet.
"He and Tanya went running on the beach."
"Ha!" Riley laughed out loud. "God bless 'em."
Edward nodded his head in agreement. "You are not lying, my friend."
"We can wait for them to make a decision, I guess, but I wouldn't mind going home," Rachel said. "I have plans for later tonight," she added on more slyly.
"Ohhh, what kind of plans?" Edward asked, lightly mocking her.
"Does our little Rachy have a date?" Riley added to the teasing.
"For your information," she smiled widely, looking between the boys, "I do."
"Uh oh! Who's the guy?" Riley inquired before taking a sip of his orange juice.
"That, my darlings, is for me to know, and for you…to, well, not." She laughed at the end, finishing up the pancakes and dividing them evenly on plates.
"You'll spill it eventually, Rachy," Edward commented as she handed him the first plate. "You could never resist telling me and Riley all your dirty secrets."
Riley laughed and nodded as Edward ended his speech with a wink in her direction.
"I bet Rachel will tell me, won't you, Rachel?" I smiled as I poured syrup on my plate.
"Sure, I'll tell you, Bella." She chuckled, and we all picked up our plates to take them to the table so we all could sit down together.
"Why the hell does she get to find out?" Riley complained, sitting at the head of the table, Rachel to his left, me to his right, and Edward sitting down beside me.
"It's a girl-thing, Riley," Rachel said as if was bluntly obvious. "Bella, if you want to come over later tonight, maybe help me get ready, spend some girl time together, that would be great." She sounded so enthusiastic and genuine, and I smiled in response.
"Yeah, that sounds good."
"Why don't we all go out together?" Edward practically shouted, and we all looked over at him strangely, myself included, at his outburst.
Rachel just laughed. "I don't think so, honey."
"What, why not?" he said more lightly, shrugging his shoulders with a crocked smile on his face. "We could all go out, have a good time."
Rachel just looked at him flatly. "No."
"Yo, Edward, we could have boy's night instead," Riley offered, looking down at his plate.
There was a pause as Edward looked at me before glancing up to Riley. "Yeah, we can do that, man," he agreed, even though I felt like his enthusiasm was a little forced. "See, ladies, we don't need you after all." He looked pointedly at Rachel when saying this, but only winked at me when I met his eyes.
Emmett and Tanya came back right as we were cleaning up the dishes, and the rain started not long after that. We spent the next hour cleaning up the house, packing our bags, and loading the car. The ride back wasn't too bad. Edward sat in the back with me this time, and he wasn't shy at all when it came to holding my hand in his. Conversation continued to flow easily between us, Riley and Edward especially.
I got lost during a lot of it, them bringing up old memories or talking about their old baseball days, but I was happy just listening to the soft music playing in the background and watching the scenery pass us by.
"So, Bella, do you want to come over to my house around six?" Rachel asked as we pulled into Uncle Charlie's driveway.
"Yeah, that sounds good," I agreed, knowing that I needed to ask Charlie if I could borrow his truck.
She gave me directions to her place, since I couldn't remember how to get there from memory, and Edward helped me grab my bag from the back of the Jeep, walking me up to the front door while Ri and Rach waited in the car.
"I had fun this weekend." He smiled down at me as he placed the bag by the front swing.
I matched his smile and stood on my toes to kiss him goodbye. "I did, too. Have fun with Riley tonight."
He just rolled his eyes and stepped away, stepping down the first step. "Oh, yeah. Always do."
With a last wave to him, I opened the door and pulled my stuff inside.
"Hi, baby," Uncle Charlie called from the kitchen, and when I walked in, he was busy grabbing a beer from the fridge. "Did you have a good time?"
I heard air release from the can as he opened it, taking a long sip. "Yeah, it was great. The ocean was a lot of fun."
He smiled at me and leaned against the counter, scratching the back of his head. "You look tired."
I lazily matched his smile. "I am."
"Well, why don't you get upstairs and relax a while. I'll carry your bag up for you here soon."
"Thanks, Uncle Charlie."
I walked over and gave him a hug before leaving the kitchen. "You're welcome, baby," he said after me.
O.o
I ended up falling asleep almost immediately when I laid down, and Charlie woke me up a little past four, not wanting me to sleep my whole day away. When six o'clock rolled around, Charlie had no problem letting me borrow his car to drive to Rachel's.
The entrance gate was opened when I arrived, and I carefully maneuvered his large car up the drive, seriously worried I would hit one of the ridiculous statues that lined the path.
I knocked on the door a few times, fidgeting as I stood and waited.
"Oh look who it is," a voice sounded, and I looked up to see Jamie standing there, shirtless with a beer in hand.
"Hi, Jamie. Is Rachel here?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Hmmm," he hummed, leaning against the siding and looking me over. "You must have forgotten about the entrance fee." He looked amused, and something about the way he sounded just bothered me.
"Come on, Jamie, just let me in," I said, exasperated.
"Oh, Bella, Bella, Bella, don't you know the rules?"
"What do you want, Jamie?" I sighed and accompanied it with an eye roll.
"Now that is a loaded question." Laughing, he finally stepped aside. "Come on in, sweet cheeks. Rach is upstairs."
I didn't even look at him as I mumbled my thanks. Rachel's door was opened, but I still knocked on the side wall before I walked in.
"Hey, Rachel," I called, and she emerged from the bathroom with rollers in her hair and dressed in only a robe.
"Oh, hey, Bella! You're just in time! I need help picking out an outfit for tonight."
She looked really excited as she practically danced to her closest, pulling the double doors open with enthusiasm.
"So who is the lucky guy that you're getting all dressed up for?" I asked lightly as I sat on the bed, kicking my shoes off before I tucked my feet underneath me.
"Oh, Bella," she turned around and smiled widely, "can you keep a secret?"
"Uh, sure." I shrugged, waiting for her to continue.
Instead she walked over to the bed, climbing up and mirroring my position, taking my hands so I turned a bit to face her.
"Okay, seriously, you can't tell anybody."
"I don't get what the big deal is." Who would be there to tell…unless she didn't want Edward to find out.
"Okay, so do you remember when we went shopping for the beach?" she asked with the same energy, and she honestly looked the cat who ate the canary.
"Um, yeah?" I offered, not having any idea where she was going with this.
"Well, it got me thinking, and I just so happened to run into Jake when we got back…"
Ahh…understanding clicked with me.
"You're going on a date with Jacob Black?" I asked warily, knowing just why she wouldn't want to tell Edward.
She just smiled and squealed a little bit as her cheeks turned red. "Isn't it exciting!"
"I don't get why that's really exciting," I couldn't help but say. "Won't Edward be super pissed when he finds out?"
She rolled her eyes and waved her hand in the air before hopping the bed. "Edward will never find out. Besides, if he does, it's none of his business."
I tried to see if there was some underlining meaning beneath her words, but she turned and walked back to her closet before I could judge her face that closely.
"Are you trying to make Edward jealous?" I blurted out, unmeaning to.
"What?" she asked in a pitch too high. "Of course not. Bella, that is just silly. Like I told you before," she looked at me with intention, "I am not interested in Edward. He's yours for the taking."
I just nodded, and that seemed to be enough to end the conversation.
I felt a little awkward, knowing that I was there to help her go out with a man that had hurt Edward so deeply, but Rachel being Rachel knew how to lighten the mood almost effortlessly. There was no doubt about it that she had a good spark about her, a specific energy that radiated from her, making her good mood almost infectious.
I left her house about an hour after I had gotten there, not really wanting to see Jacob as he picked her up for their date. She didn't give me many specifics on where they were going, and honestly, I didn't really ask for any, either. But she made me promise before I left the house again that I wouldn't say anything to Edward, and I assured her that she had my word.
O.o
Walking back into Uncle Charlie's house, I was surprised to see that he wasn't sitting in his usual spot in the living room. I went into the kitchen and his bedroom, not seeing him there, either. The back door was wide open, so I followed the path to the barn and heard sounds from inside as I walked in.
"Hey, Uncle Charlie." I smiled in greeting, watching him as he spread out some fresh hay in one of the stables.
"Hi, Bells. How was Rachel?"
"Oh, she was good."
"She's goin' on a date, huh? Anyone I know?"
I paused, braiding the ends of my hair as a distraction. "Um, can I talk to you about something, actually?" I hesitated, looking up to see that he had stopped what he was doing mid motion.
"Of course you can, darlin'," he responded, sitting down on one of the unopened barrels of hay. I continued standing, though, switching my weight from one foot to the other.
"Well, she made me promise not to tell Edward who she was going on a date with…"
"Uh huh," he said warily, urging me to continue.
"I don't know much about Jacob, but from what I've heard, he isn't the best guy."
Recognition passed across Charlie's face, and he took in a deep breath. "She's going out with Paul Black's son?" He dipped his head down as his hand rested on the back of his neck.
"Jacob Black, yeah. I guess he used to be pretty good friends with Edward."
"Jake used to be a good kid, Bells. They came around here often, he and Edward. Used to ride a lot before Edward started workin' for me. But stuff happened in that boy's life that he just couldn't cope with, so he lashed out. Unfortunately, most of that anger was taken out on the Masen kid, but it was other people he hurt, too. I'm going to be honest with you, Bella," he paused, looking at me, "that kid just needs somebody to love him, take care of him. He doesn't get any of that at home."
"So do you think it's safe for Rachel to be dating him?"
He just shrugged. "It's not like she's putting herself in danger by being around him. I don't think he would ever touch a woman; he just is quick with his mouth and can anger a lot of people. But, who knows, maybe Rachel is exactly what he needs."
I couldn't help the humorless chuckle that escaped. "Do you really think that, Uncle Charlie?"
He stood up now and got back to work. "You never know, kid. Sometimes it only takes one person to change somebody's life around."
I smiled and stood there for a second, taking in his words before saying thanks and heading back into the house.
O.o
I decided to take it easy that night, taking a long bath and going up to my room early, wanting to read more of the book that I had ignored this weekend. Charlie went to bed pretty soon after me, claiming he was tired from working out back all day. It was just past ten that night when I felt myself dozing off, the plot of my book not being enough to keep me awake.
A clicking noise coming from my window jolted me up, and I blinked my eyes rapidly, hearing another sound come from across the room. I climbed out of bed, dressed in just an oversized t-shirt, and tiptoed over to where the sound was coming from. It was then that I saw a small rock crash against the glass, only to fall back down to the ground.
Prying the window open, I stuck my head out, not surprised to see Edward standing down below.
"Well, hi, there," he said, dropping the pile of pebbles in his hand.
"What on earth are you doing?" I laughed, leaning against the seal and smiling at him.
"You know…just hangin' out. Throwing rocks at your window is just one of my favorite past-times. Didn't you know? You should try it some time."
"It's that fun, huh?" I queried, smirking at his cheekiness.
"Hmm-mmm. Want to know what else I enjoy doing in my free time?" he asked, although his volume was low as to not wake Charlie.
"What's that?"
"Sneaking into your room."
This made me laugh. "You're lucky Charlie isn't awake. What would you have done if he had heard you out here?"
He looked guilty, shuffling the grass at his feet. "I kind of knew he had already gone to bed."
"Stalking much, Mr. Masen? You're like my very own peeping-tom."
"Hey…you would too if your life was in jeopardy."
I just rolled my eyes. "You need to get that out of your head, big guy. My uncle isn't actually going to kill you."
"Let's just be thankful he can't read minds, because I would be that much closer to my grave."
"Do I even want to know?" I laughed, not being able to help it.
"Nope," he popped. "Now, are you going to let me come up or not?"
"Do I have a choice in the matter?" I teased, challenging him.
Shaking his head, he joined me in my laughter. "Not really."
"Well, in that case, there's a ladder in the barn if you want to use that to get up here," I offered, not wanting him to climb the tree. Edward was athletic and all, but even his coordination wasn't equipped to take on that specific adventure.
"Okay, I'll be right back."
It took only about ten minutes for Edward to grab the ladder and climb up to my window.
"You should be a fireman," I remarked, laughing as I watched him climb through the small space.
"And why is that, baby?"
"I don't know…I feel like you're here to rescue me from a burning building or something."
He just smirked as he straightened up, walking over to where I stood at the foot of my bed and wrapping his arms around me.
"Do I get to wear a cool yellow helmet?" He chuckled.
"And those awesome fire jackets."
"Can I use an ax?"
"Only if I'm trapped."
"Would you think I'm sexy, in my uniform and all?" he asked in his usual playful tone as his blue eyes danced with humor.
"So sexy. I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of you."
"Damn straight," he answered with an added chuckle.
"So how was boy's night?" I changed the direction of the conversation, sitting down on the edge of my mattress.
"It was fun. Riley is always a good time to hang out with."
"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." I smiled sincerely. "Riley is a good guy."
I had to admit, I was liking Riley more after spending time with him at the beach. When we were all in the ocean, he was actually really funny, and he had seemed to include me in conversation a lot more than he had before. He was just simple, and Edward really liked him.
"Yeah, Riley is solid. You know what else is awesome, though?" he asked, and I knew that face immediately.
"Edward," I warned, taking in his darkening look.
"You…without pants on." His smirk was one of the gods as he joined me on the bed and ran his hand up my uncovered thigh.
"You do know my uncle is right downstairs."
"Yeah…he's asleep, too. I'm not stupid." He gave me a pointed look. "Now…I've been waiting all day to kiss you again. Really kiss you."
"You need a new hobby," I joked, "if kissing me is all you can think about."
"It's just not kissing you," he said under his breath. "Lie back?" he continued, although it wasn't a command as much as it was a question.
I complied, scooting up the bed so I could rest my head on the pillow. Edward was quick to kick off his shoes, and he scooted up so he was lying beside me, using an arm to prop up his head as his other hand rested on my bare knee closest to him.
"I really like touching you," he admitted, and my cheeks reddened in embarrassment.
"I like it when you touch me," I murmured as his hand continued higher, ever so slowly.
"I want to make you feel good." His breath was hot on my neck as he came down to kiss the sensitive skin, and my eyes closed as my breath hitched at the contact.
"You do?" I asked shakily.
"Yes," he whispered, shifting effortlessly so he was now directly above me, my legs slipping to either side of his hips. My shirt rose enough that he could see my blue cotton underwear, but he didn't say anything or pull my shirt down as he looked me over. I couldn't help but tense under his scrutiny.
"Is this too much, too fast?" he asked, his body settling against mine.
"Um, no," I stuttered, wrapping my arms around his neck.
I knew that I just needed to start kissing him. As soon as we would kiss, my nerves would calm down, and I would be more excited for the prospect of him touching me. This was what I wanted, right? I knew I felt it in the core of my stomach, in the chills that rose on my skin. My hormones were all over the place, begging for Edward's touch, but my head was swimming with doubt and insecurities.
I just prayed that Edward didn't notice.
"I need you to lead this," I blurted out honestly. "I don't know what I'm doing."
He smiled and leaned in to kiss my lips. "I've got you," he whispered. "Just relax, and you can always tell me to stop, okay?"
His words made me feel marginally better, and I nodded, smiling as he came back down to place his lips on mine. Our tongues met, and he groaned, shifting again so one hand held onto my cheek as his other hand ran up and down the length outside of my right leg.
"Your skin is so soft," he voiced, only breaking our kiss for a moment.
I hummed, not really having any other answer, and kissed him again. I liked how he tasted like cinnamon, and his cheek had stubble on it that felt good and rough against my own cheek and under my palms as I held his face.
His free hand traveled, up my left leg and over my t-shirt, gripping my waist before continuing his path north. I wasn't sure as to what do to with my arms or my hands, so they just switched between holding his jaw or scratching the back of his head. Just focus on kissing, I reminded myself. Relax…let him lead…just kiss him.
I repeated this in my head, not wanting to mess this up. I needed to just enjoy this…having Edward here, in my room, on my bed. I just wish I could take my head out of this and just live this moment and not worry about the specifics. Just go with it…
I couldn't help but breathe out heavily as his thumb grazed the side of my covered breast and then again when he got bolder and placed his entire hand over it, squeezing me gently. I had to stop kissing him as the shot of pleasure raced through me, and when I opened my eyes, Edward was watching me, squeezing me again.
"Does that feel good?" he asked, a huskiness evident in his deep voice.
"Yes," I breathed out, shutting my eyes again, not being able to meet his stare.
He didn't prod me to open my eyes again, instead he went back to kissing me and released my breast, moving his hand back down my torso to rest on my hip. Without even realizing I was doing it, I moved my hips under his, bending my knees and holding him tightly. This made Edward groan deep in his throat as he rubbed himself against me.
I felt how aroused he was, but I was glad that it didn't freak me out as much as it had done this past weekend. After feeling it, seeing how good it made Edward feel when I touched him, gave me more courage. I moved my hands down his back, putting pressure on him so he would come even closer.
Using the hand that was on my hip, he hooked it under my knee, moving it to wrap around his waist. The next time his hips moved, I felt how much better it was this way, and I moved my other leg to match.
"God, Bella," he practically panted, being more intentional with the way his body moved against mine.
I felt myself become wet down there, and I was momentarily mortified that Edward would notice. That's so disgusting, I thought, never having experienced it before. But Edward didn't say anything, for his mouth was too busy for words, but his hand left my knee and explored some more. This time, though, he went under my large shirt, pushing it up slightly as he found my bare breast, no bra to get in his way.
It felt so much better without the shirt covering me, and I was almost embarrassed at the noise that I released. It only seemed to fuel Edward on, however, and he became just that more intentional and forceful with his touches. But it wasn't too much. It was so, so good.
I was breathing so heavily at this point that I felt I would never be able to catch my breath, and the way he was making me feel, God, I just wanted more.
More, farther, please, I begged inside my mind, not having enough courage to say it aloud to Edward. But he seemed to take the hint anyway, and when I felt him lift himself from my body, I opened my eyes and watched as he grabbed the edge of my shirt, lifting it above my head.
He was kneeling between my spread legs as I was displayed below him, only dressed in my blue underwear. Picking up my wrists and squeezing them tightly, he placed them above my head.
"Keep them there," he ordered softly, not meeting my eyes as he took my almost naked form. "Oh, Bella," he sighed, running his hands down my arms, shoulders, across my breasts, and down my stomach. They grabbed my waist for a second before his hand traced across my stomach and lightly touched my skin, skimming downwards so his thumb moved along the center of my spread legs, sending a jolt through my entire body. I knew he could feel how wet I was through the cotton, but I just really, really hoped he didn't care.
He made the same path again, going backwards and forwards as he increased the pressure, and it felt just that much better. Again, I pleaded, yet only to myself.
"You are so beautiful, Bella." He moved so he was lying beside me, his head propped with his arm.
"I feel so naked here," I made the most obvious comment in the world. But looking at Edward, who was still fully dressed, only added to my embarrassment.
Edward got the hint and removed his hand from my body, my legs automatically closing, and he lifted his own shirt over his head. "Is that better?" he asked with a smile, and I ran my fingertips down his abs.
"Yes." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, feeling as he leaned down to kiss my neck. "Will you touch me again?" I asked out quickly, even though I was ashamed to voice such a request.
He didn't answer me verbally, but his hand provided the only response I desired. Starting slowly, he ran it back down my stomach, and he nudged my closed legs apart.
"Can I touch you here?" he asked, and I didn't open my eyes as I nodded my head.
He slipped underneath the thin cotton material this time, and used his first two fingers instead of his thumb, but he made the same patterns across me as he had done before, all of which made my breathing hitch and come back out with force.
I covered my face with my hands, trying to muffle the ridiculous noises that were coming out of my mouth. But my hips seemed to start reacting with a mind of their own as they pushed against his fingers, and soon they were moving in match with his hand. It felt tight and hurt at first when he first put a finger inside of me, but he made small circles, and the more he did it, the better it felt.
I wasn't sure how long he worked me over, but after a while, it got uncomfortable, and every time he would graze the top part of me, it would hurt.
"Okay," I breathed out, and he stopped.
"Are you alright?" he asked, looking at me with a worried expression.
"Yeah…I'm just…" He must have seen how uncomfortable I looked, because he pulled his hand away and leaned down to kiss me chastely.
"Okay," he answered.
I took another deep breath, again not knowing what to do, and I felt all that more exposed than I had earlier, even though the state of my undress hadn't changed.
"It's getting late," he said. "I should get back."
I smiled sadly at him, but part of me was relieved. He went to the floor and passed me my shirt before he put his own on. His eyes refused to meet mine, though, and it felt ten degrees cooler in the room than it had before.
"Can I see you tomorrow?" I asked, suddenly worried that I had done something wrong and that he wouldn't want to come over. Insecurities wracked through my body, and doubt filled my mind. I knew my voice sounded pathetic and a little clingy, my usual wit and strength nowhere to be found.
I couldn't help but think too much, too fast, over and over in my head.
"Yeah," he answered simply. "I'll call you."
With another quick kiss on my lips, again refusing to meet my eyes, he slid on his shoes and climbed out of my window.
I collapsed back on my bed, fully embarrassed, my heart feeling as though it had sunk out of my chest, and I cried myself to sleep.
O.o
END NOTES:
Don't flame me. If you were 17 once and did what B/E have done, you know how insecurities and doubt hit you like a truck in a blink of an eye. And if you haven't lived that, I'm very jealous of you. Lord knows my boyfriend at 17 put up with more than enough tears from me.
Okay, remember…they are just teens. I don't want your hate mail.
Passed 500 reviews, so you'll get another chapter this week! - ps, so excited about that, btw!
