Anyone still reading this thing? You kind of amaze me.
Thank you truly for the reviews you guys leave me! I'm so very sorry I don't respond more often, but please know that I take each one to heart.
Thank you to the lovely ladies who work on this: ginginlee for betaing, & sammielynnsmom, morethanmyself (&lizzylillyrose who couldn't because she's on vacation) for prereading.
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I know this chapter took longer than normal. Real life hit kind of hard these last couple weeks. Thank you for your patience. This chapter is longer than average to make up for it
…
Chapter 27
1987
If I had it my way, I would have stayed here forever. I wouldn't be packing my bags and leaving this place behind. It was only supposed to be a summer, a simple three months of spending time with my uncle. But it had become so much more than that. It was the summer that changed everything.
It was the summer that changed me.
It was the summer, I was afraid, that would overshadow every summer to come. But it was also the summer that had to come to an end, and as I stood on my uncle's back porch, watching the sunset, I knew that these next few days were it.
I felt older somehow, more mature, as I watched the golden rays dance along the horizon. As my eyes traveled over the red and orange glow that was cast on the grassy field, I truly took in all that this summer had offered me. The late August heat was slowly dwindling with days past, and I knew that once I left this place, it would all be gone – the heat, the fire, the passion. The memories were all I had to take with me, and I had three days left to capture.
Three days left with him.
Three days left of our one perfect summer.
I watched as he walked out of the barn, wiping his dirty hands on his worn jeans, the red and black short-sleeve plaid shirt left unbuttoned, his equally as dirty white undershirt stuck to his sweaty skin. His tan was only illuminated by the setting sun, his brown hair showing a red tint. When he looked at me, his eyes only saw my own, a smile coming to his face as his pace changed from a heavy walk to a light run.
"You're home," he said when he reached me on the step, pulling me to him and kissing me. "I didn't think you would be back until later."
I smiled back at him as I wrapped my arms around his neck, my height almost matching his because of the steps we were standing on. "I was in a hurry to get back."
He gave me a side smile and leaned in to kiss me again. "I can't imagine why," he whispered as he held onto my hips.
"Eh." I shrugged. "I have a really needy boyfriend."
He laughed. "Is that right?"
"Oh yeah. He's demands a lot of my attention."
Leaning in closer, he ran his nose down the length of mine and whispered, "All of it, actually."
"I love you," I said back, my tone soft and heartfelt, feeling in that moment that I just had to tell him.
This was how the past two weeks had been, our fun and playful dynamic always being followed by the heaviness of what was to come.
"I love you, Bella," he answered. "Come out with me tonight."
"We're not going to Riley's again are we?" I asked, pouting. I didn't want to spend time with anyone else. I didn't want to chat with Rachel or share Edward with his best friend. I wanted him all to myself; we only had so much time left.
"No," he assured. "I'm the only one who gets you tonight."
"Good." I smiled. "But you need to shower first."
"Do I smell bad?" He lifted up his arm and took a big whiff, his sour-looking facial expression making me laugh. "Okay, point taken."
I took a step back and headed into the house, Edward following behind me. "You can shower here if you want."
Uncle Charlie was in the kitchen and gave us a side eyed glare as we walked in.
"Um," Edward stammered as he looked at my uncle and then at me. "I'll just go home. It won't take me long."
"You want to stay for dinner first?" Charlie asked, stirring the baked beans he had going on the stove.
Edward smiled at his offer but shook his head. "I promised my mom I would be home for dinner. She actually wanted me to invite you, Bella, but I didn't think you would be back until later."
I had met his mom a couple times, very sweet lady, but his dad was kind of distant. It wasn't that I didn't want to go over there, but given the option, I would rather have spent the time with Charlie.
"That's okay. You just go home, eat, shower, and meet back here?"
He smiled and kissed my forehead as I glanced at the clock and saw it was a little past seven. "I'll hurry," he promised.
"Oh, take your time. I'll just visit my other boyfriend until you get back."
Narrowing his eyes at me, he smirked and kissed my cheek. "Have fun with that."
We both laughed as he walked out of the kitchen to the front door. "See y'all in a bit!"
Once the front door closed, Uncle Charlie turned to me, wiping his hands on a dish towel before placing it on the counter. "Things seem to be going well between you," he commented.
"Yeah, I guess," I said, not really knowing how else to respond.
"So, I take it that you guys fixed up everything?" he continued, referring to how distant I was after we'd had sex almost a month ago.
I raised my eyebrow in his direction. "We're long past that, Uncle Charlie," I said, even though my uncle shouldn't have had any idea why Edward and I were so awkward around each other for that time. And I honestly wasn't sure why he was bringing it up now.
"Well, that's good, I guess." His tone was grave, and it made me stop pulling plates out from the cabinet to look at him.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
He just shrugged. "Have y'all talked about what you're going to do once the summer ends?"
I didn't necessarily shut the cupboard out of anger, but I did shut it harder than usual. "We still have time," I said back with a bit of harshness.
"Your mother comes back in a few days, honey. I just don't want to see you hurt is all."
"So what would you like us to do? Break up now? Not enjoy these last couple days? Rip the band-aid off so it hurts less?"
He took a deep breath and looked at me. "That's not what I was saying."
"Then what were you saying?"
"I just think it's best that you prepare yourself for this not working out."
I shut the other cupboard door, this time out of anger, and glared at him. "I can't just let go, Uncle Charlie. It's not that easy, nor that simple! I love him, okay?" Tears burned at the back of my eyes as my heart clenched in my chest. "I don't want to say goodbye; I don't want to leave. You think that I'm just ignoring the end of the summer? Like if I don't think about it then it won't happen? I hate to break it to you, but I'm not that ignorant! I get it. I know it's coming, but I refuse to let the knowledge of us leaving steal away these last few days. We deserve to be happy; we deserve these last few moments!"
He looked at me with a face full of sadness and pity. "I don't want to see you heartbroken, baby," he whispered.
I wiped the tears that had fallen down my cheek and tried to steady my breathing, as well as my erratic heartbeat. "It's too late for that, Charlie."
It was then out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward standing there in the entryway, looking just as crestfallen as I felt. Without a word, he took a step back into the kitchen and strode over to where I was standing, immediately taking my face into his hands and kissing me with everything he had. He didn't care that my uncle was standing right there; he didn't care that he smelled like dirty horses and sweat from his long day at work.
All he cared about, all I cared about, was us, together, this moment. I felt so loved by him with that kiss that it made my knees weak. I knew, with every last bit of my heart, that Edward loved me. I felt it; I was a first-hand witness to it.
There was no pretending that he wasn't as affected by this as I was. We were in this together, drowning with one another. Just because we didn't talk about it didn't mean that we both didn't feel it. This past month, we had changed so much, not only as people, but in our relationship.
I felt like I was a part of him, belonging to him in a way no one else would. And the same went with him being a part of me. I would never, could never fully let him go. I knew this as I kissed him back in my uncle's kitchen. I knew this as my heart raced and hands shook.
"What are you still doing here?" I asked after our kiss broke, his hands stroking my tearful cheeks.
"I forgot my keys," he answered simply, looking down at me with a look I knew all too well.
I took a deep, shuddering breath in and rested my head on his chest. We stood there for a few minutes, not saying anything before he pulled back and kissed my forehead.
"I'm not going to eat; I'll just shower and come right back, okay?" he whispered.
I nodded my head but didn't say anything. And then, with one last kiss on my lips, he grabbed his keys off the table and left. I wrapped my arms around myself as I looked up to see Uncle Charlie looking at me with a look I couldn't decipher.
I didn't say anything to him as I broke eye-contact and walked upstairs to my room.
O.o
Two days. We were down to two days. I woke up that morning feeling a whole different range of emotions than I had the night before when Edward and I had gone out together. When I was with him, I just felt almost relief to be in a moment, but after he left, when I was here alone in my bedroom, I just felt guilt that I didn't want to spend my time with Charlie. I knew I was leaving him, too. It wasn't all about Edward, but right then, as I opened my eyes to the rising sun, it sure as hell felt like it.
After my little outburst in the kitchen, Charlie had given Edward today, which would have been his last day, off work, telling him that he was too young to waste his hours away with a job, that he would spend the rest of his life doing that. So instead, we were going back to the river. This time, however, there would be no Rachel swinging off the rope or Riley there to pull me under. There would be no other distractions.
Because even though I knew it wasn't all about Edward, today it was. It was just going to be us, because I think we both knew...this was all we had left.
He'd said last night that he would be here by eight thirty, that he would have a surprise ready for me when he got here. Not wanting to be caught off guard in my hot pink pajama pants and morning breath, I jumped out of bed, checking the clock on my bedside table and saw that it was just past seven. It gave me plenty of time to shower and get ready.
I looked out my window, holding my breath, hoping that he didn't show up early - which he was known to do just to throw me off - and sure enough, his truck was there, and Edward was nowhere in it. My guess was that he was downstairs, doing what, I had no idea, but I tiptoed across my room and as quietly as I could, opened the door, peeking my head around the corner.
The coast was clear, so I eyed the bathroom across the hall and made a dash for it. But, of course, it was never that simple. My sock got caught on one of the un-even boards, and I face planted right at the top of the staircase.
"Damn!" I yelled half out of pain and the other half out of frustration. Now my very simple plan of going unnoticed until I could get ready was shot to hell as a loud thump sounded when my body connected with the floor.
"Damnit, Bella, you're going to wake up the whole house!" Uncle Charlie yelled from downstairs, laughing after his remark.
"Yeah, yeah," I rebutted, trying to quickly stand up but being halted by the pain that shot through my knee.
I heard whispered voices downstairs before Uncle Charlie sighed dramatically, asking, "Are you okay?" as if he had no interest in the state of my wellbeing but was instead being forced to ask the question.
"Tell Edward I'm fine!" I yelled back, rolling my eyes as I stood all the way up to my feet.
"Um, uh, Edward's not here," Charlie stammered, the newspaper crinkling in his hands.
"Yeah, okay," I remarked with obvious sarcasm. "I'm going to shower."
Once I undressed, I saw the black and blue mark already forming on me knee, and I cursed the fact that it was going to be clearly seen in whatever I wore today. I couldn't even make up a better story of how I got it, since Edward was downstairs and heard me trip and fall.
I didn't spend a long time getting ready; since we were just going down to the river, I didn't have to. Once I was dressed in my blue bikini and white cover up and sandals, I walked downstairs, hanging onto the railing as I did so to prevent any other unneeded injuries.
I turned the corner into the kitchen and saw that there was a whole array of food set up on the counter, packed away in containers next to a basket. Edward was on the far end by the refrigerator, shutting it and turning around right as I walked in.
"Surprise," he said with a smile, putting the orange juice carton down.
"'Don't worry, Bella, Edward isn't here,'" I mocked my uncle, looking over at him with my hands on my hips.
He was still at the kitchen table and merely rolled his eyes after my comment. "Get over it, kid."
I chuckled and walked over to kiss his cheek before going over to Edward, sitting up on the counter next to where he was standing.
"What happened to eight thirty?" I looked at him pointedly.
The blush that rose on his cheeks was endearing, and I loved when he was this open in front of me. "Well, I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed, but you kind of ruined that one."
"I ruined it?" I laughed. "Okay, buddy. You just wanted to see my room after all this time." I winked as Charlie's head snapped over to us and Edward's face turned an even deep shade of crimson, considering he was just in my room the night before.
Edward started to make some weird noises, an attempt at words to try and rebut my comment, but it just sounded like the garbled mess that it was. I chuckled and patted his shoulder.
"Kidding, honey. Relax."
"You better be kidding," I heard Uncle Charlie grumble as he looked back down at his paper.
"Not funny," Edward whispered, while I just shrugged my shoulders and popped a grape into my mouth that was sitting next to the sink.
"So if I don't get breakfast in bed, where are we going?" I motioned to the containers on the counter. "I'm starving."
"Well, I'm not sure I want to tell you know," he said as he put the whole carton of orange juice in the basket.
"Oh, come on. Don't pout."
He glanced over at my uncle to make sure he wasn't paying attention before he turned back towards me, giving me a look that spoke volumes. The dangerous, playful side of Edward was hovering just under the surface, waiting until we were alone to come out.
"Pout? I don't ever pout, honey," he mocked.
I laughed as he came over and put a kiss on my lips. "You were definitely pouting."
He took my hands in his and pulled, causing me to slide off the counter.
"We have places to be, baby. Let's go."
Not needing to argue with him there, I walked into the living room to grab my purse and met him back in the entry way of the kitchen by the front door.
"I thought we were leaving," I commented, seeing Edward still standing in the kitchen.
"Wrong door, sweetheart," he said as he picked up the basket.
"What do you mean 'wrong door'?"
He gave me a side smile, saying, "Do you trust me?"
I sighed dramatically and dropped my head back. "Never," I remarked, causing both Edward and Charlie to chuckle.
"Okay, okay, see you later, Uncle Charlie," I said as I walked back into the kitchen towards the back door.
"You kids have fun. Make good choices!" he added on at the end right as we stepped out on the back porch.
"All right, Mr. Smart Guy, where are we going?" I asked while squinting my eyes, the bright sun shining directly in them.
He closed the back door all the way before he put the basket on the ground, giving me the same smile as before as he pushed me quietly into the wall of the house, trapping me by his large frame.
"And what exactly are you doing?" I whispered as not to get caught.
"Don't worry about it, baby," he shot back, hushing whatever words I would have said by placing his lips on mine, kissing me with more intensity than he would have ever dared to do in front of my uncle.
I kissed him back, allowing myself to be lost in the feel of his touch, the power of his presence. There was no such thing as too early to be kissing Edward this way. I was completely surrounded by him, his tongue dancing with mine, his lips pressed hard and determined. This kiss was the best 'good morning' I had gotten all summer.
"Well, then," I said when he backed away, leaning back down to pick up the basket as I stood still a little dazed against the wall.
"You coming?" he asked with a smug look as he reached his free hand out for mine.
Wanting to save a little face and not look too affected, I matched his devilish smirk and smoothed my white cover-up with my hands before putting my palm in his. "That was a nice little hold up, Mr. Masen, but I'm hungry. When are you feeding me?"
He laughed as he rolled his eyes, taking the first step down the porch. "You are impossible," he scoffed.
I just laughed as I caught up with his footing and walked even closer to him. "Yeah, but you put up with it."
"Why is that again?" he asked, being the smartass he was.
"Eh." I shrugged. "I think it's because you love me."
I looked up at his face to see his smile as he looked down at me. "I guess you're right," he said back.
"But seriously," I began as we reached the stables, "where are we going?"
"Patience is not one of your virtues, baby," he scolded lightly, putting the basket down as he got a saddle from the wall.
"I thought we were eating breakfast, not riding," I said as I helped him with his task.
"Seriously, Bella?" He gave a side look.
"You could just tell me where we're going."
"And what fun would that be?"
"It would be a lot less annoying on my part," I offered.
He stopped what he was doing and placed another kiss on my lips. "Now hush," he instructed. "We have places to be, remember?"
He tied the basket to one of the brown horses before he helped me up and climbed up, sitting in front of me. I luckily had well gotten over my fear of riding, and I was actually decent at it now, having a pretty good instructor and all.
"You ready?" he asked as he settled in.
"I'm hungry, pal. Let's get a move on."
I heard him laugh as I wrapped my arms around his waist and we took off, out of the confines of the gated area and into the open fields of my uncle's land.
O.o
"Will you stop messing with the radio?" he asked as he brushed my hand away. "I like that song."
"But it's country," I complained from the passenger seat of his old blue truck, on our way to the river.
"Exactly...good music."
"Country," I repeated again, as if that was enough to explain my point.
Instead of fighting with me, he started singing along to the horrid song, slapping his thigh to the beat.
"You sound awful!" I laughed, making him sing louder.
I covered my ears in protest, unable to take my eyes off of him, though. When the song ended, he looked over at me and pulled my hand from my ear.
"You should have listened," he said with mock seriousness.
"Oh really, and why is that?"
"Because that was our song."
"Our song? Why does that have to be our song?"
"Because I said so," he answered, winking at me afterwards.
I rolled my eyes, looking at the window before placing my eyes back on him. "Would it make you happy?"
He smiled triumphantly and nodded. "Ecstatic."
"Why does a country song have to be ours exactly?"
"Because when you go back up north, it will be easier to remember me by it." I knew we were just joking around, but he actually sounded kind of serious.
"I don't need a song to remember you, Edward."
"Well," he said, his eyes not leaving the road, "whenever you hear it, you'll remember this moment."
I smiled at him before I looked back at the passing scenery, moving my face so he couldn't see my smile falling. There it was again…the reminder I was leaving, that this was it. I could practically hear the clock ticking down the minutes.
We took the same hike we had the last time we had come to the river, but the nervous butterflies that I'd had then was replaced with a gut-wrenching sinking feeling. But I think both Edward and I were used to these mood swings by now.
"Come on, don't think about it," he pleaded, pulling on my hand to get me to look at him.
"I can't not think about it."
He sighed heavily, silently agreeing.
As the afternoon wore on, we were able to put aside what the next day was going to bring and focus on having a good time. He brought me back to the cave we had visited three months prior, where he had first told me that he wanted something. Who would have known it would have turned into this?
"What do you think college is going to be like?" I asked as we sat beneath the waterfall, having to talk loudly to override the noise of the rushing water.
He shrugged as he sat on the rocks beside me, rubbing his hands together while his forearms rested on his thighs. "I'm not too sure. Different than what I'm used to, that's for sure."
"What do you mean?" I asked, playing with the smaller rocks at our feet.
"I don't know…this place, this town, it's just so small, you know? I've known the same people, gone to school with the same kids, done the same thing all my life. It's so sheltered here. I feel like college is going to open up a whole new world to me."
I smiled and looked over at him, wanting to be excited for him. "So you still want to travel, see the world? Leave this old place behind?"
He laughed and looked back at me. "There's so much out there, Bella. There are things to see, people to meet. There's nothing left for me here," he said the last part more softly. "It's not like I have you to come home to."
I licked my lips, buying myself more time before I continued. "Are you ever going to come back?"
He shrugged again and looked back at his hands. "Maybe for holidays and stuff, but I just don't see myself here. I can't picture this place being my home."
There was a silence that sat between us before he asked, still not looking at me, "Are you going to come back here next summer?"
It was my turn to shrug as I ran a hand through my wet hair. "I don't know," I admitted sadly. Especially with my mother, things were always crazy and changing in my life. And since next summer was my last summer before college, I doubted my mom would let me out of her sight.
"I guess we just have to wait and see," he said, smiling at me.
"You never know," I added, trying to sound upbeat.
He leaned over and kissed me then, and I knew that this was all he could offer me, and I took it gladly.
"Are you ready to get out of here?" he asked, and I wondered what time it was. "We still have things to do."
I looked at him with surprise. "What else are we doing today?"
"Now what fun would it be if I told you that?" He laughed and stood up, winking at me as he helped me to my feet on the slippery rocks.
"Always a mystery."
Smiling at me, he shrugged again and began to walk out of the cave. I, however, turned around and took in the view one last time. This is another spot I wish I could have taken a picture of, but I was sure, as I turned around and followed Edward, that this was just another set of memories that I never could forget.
O.o
A little less than two hours after Edward had dropped me off back at Charlie's, I heard a knock at the front door, and I headed downstairs in my deep blue, flowy dress, my hair curled and makeup done to perfection, and answered the door. Edward stood on the other side in black slacks and a matching blue button down, sleeves rolled up his forearms. In his hands were pink daisies and his mouth held an unmistakable smirk.
"Well, hi," I said, looking him over.
"You clean up nice, baby," he teased, kissing me before he passed me the flowers. "I believe these are your favorite."
Not wanting to be a smart ass on our last night out, I took them with a smile and thanked him, saying how beautiful they were.
"So where are you kids headed?" Uncle Charlie asked from the kitchen, having just opened his second beer of the night.
"I got reservations down in Raleigh."
"Ah, the big city," he said with a chuckle. "Just get my girl back home safe."
"Yes, sir."
I rolled my eyes at the formality of the word sir and pulled on Edward's hand, ready for our dinner. "I'm ready if you are," I said, hoping he would take the hint so we could leave.
Charlie just smiled as us, albeit sadly, as he shooed us out the door.
The air was thick as we walked outside, the last of the sun's rays falling around us. "I'm going to miss these southern nights," I commented. "There's nothing quite like them."
"You mean you're going to miss the humidity and stickiness that comes with just walking outside?" he remarked sarcastically, opening the truck door for me.
"You just don't know, Masen," I said back. "You've got it made down here."
He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Right."
"No, I'm serious," I continued after he walked around and climbed into the driver's side.
"Bella, the weather here is nothing to miss."
"You say that now…but move up north and see how you like it."
"Anywhere but Johnston County. That's where I want to be."
I sighed in disagreement but didn't say anything. He was too stubborn for his own good sometimes.
O.o
Our dinner was nice, and Edward and I were surprisingly still able to have a lighthearted conversation in between the declarations of "I'll miss you," or talk of what our plans were for the future.
It was such a back-and-forth of where we were going to be ten years from then while at the same time fighting to keep the moment we were in. It was the calm before the storm, the last chapter, the standstill before reality.
Part of me wanted it to end just because the place we were in was so exhausting and emotionally draining, but I knew that the next day I would be wishing to have this night back.
As I sat in the car after we left the restaurant, I asked Edward for the hundredth time that day where we were heading, and when he looked over at me, he actually looked nervous and a bit reluctant.
"Um, well I was kind of thinking…" he trailed off and stopped before he finished his thought.
"What?" I asked, motioning for him to continue.
"It doesn't seem like the best idea right now, actually."
I squeezed the hand that I was holding. "Will you just tell me?"
He glanced at me before looking back at the road ahead of us. "Well, I was maybe thinking about going back to our spot."
"The field?" I asked, and he nodded.
I thought about it before I went to answer, asking myself how I truly felt about going back there. I hadn't been since my breakdown a month prior, but a large part of me wanted to go back, spend our last night there with him. He was right…it was our spot.
"I want to go," I told him, sure of my response.
He looked back at me again, trying to see how serious I was. "Really?"
"Yeah." I shrugged. "I think it will be a perfect way to end our summer."
He smiled sadly. "I was thinking the same thing."
It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the darkness after we climbed out of the truck and tried to find our way, hand-in-hand, over to our tree. I was glad he had a blanket with him, and I happily sat between his legs, my back to his front, on the soft ground.
His arms were wrapped tightly around me, and I held onto his forearms that were across my chest. For a few minutes, we just sat there, breathing each other in, taking a moment to relax, not think, just be.
It started off as just a kiss to my shoulder but then moved up to my neck and then right below my ear. They were soft, sensual, lingering, as if his lips were trying to memorize the feel of my skin. I held onto his arms tighter as I felt the chills rise on my body, my breathing hitching as his mouth opened slightly, the feeling of his tongue against my neck forcing my eyes to shut.
"What are you doing?" I intended for my question to be playful, but it came out a lot more breathy than witty.
"Kissing my girlfriend," he responded, only to then continue, even daring to move the strap of my dress to the side so he could kiss the covered skin of my shoulder.
"I like it," I admitted, leaning into him more.
He didn't answer me with words, but his hands moved to brush my hair back before they traveled down my neck, arms, and the outsides of my hips and legs that he could touch in our position. They took their time, slowly memorizing my every curve, and I eventually turned around so I could kiss him the right way.
He brought me to sit down astride him, my legs on the outside of his, and he wrapped his hands around my waist, pulling me to him as my mouth met his. I let my hands run through his hair, loving how soft it was compared to the unshaven scruff that outlined his jaw. I wasn't sure how he felt so familiar yet so new at the same time.
A while later, when the only words that were spoken between us were with our bodies, something changed. I wasn't sure if it was just inside of me, but as I was kissing him, all I could think was this was it. I knew the thought had been in my head all day, but this felt permanent, final, and I didn't want to leave here without showing him one last time how much I cared.
I knew the last time I had asked for this, it had backfired on me. I really wasn't ready then, and it was a really big emotional hit that I took and brought Edward into. But this time, being here with him, knowing what I knew now, feeling what I felt now was so different than it had been before. I couldn't put my finger on what it was exactly, but as he kissed my neck and pushed me back on the blanket, I just knew that this time was better, would be better.
I stopped what we were doing and took a moment to look at him, and he matched my gaze, staring into my eyes as everything that I felt passed between us. There were no words; we didn't need them. He felt it, too.
His movements were slow and careful as he took off my dress; he made sure to kiss me every few moments, keeping his eyes open as he looked at me directly, watching to see if something changed on my face. I knew he was nervous for my reaction, considering how last time turned out, but I tried my best to assure him that this was different.
"I'm okay," I whispered. "I promise."
This wasn't about losing my virginity or my innocence. It wasn't about him taking something from me.
It was about Edward, right here, always being the man that I loved first.
He was my first love, and as I lay beneath him, feeling his skin against mine, I prayed with everything I had that he would somehow, some way, be my last.
O.o
The next morning, I felt like I had a dead, heavy weight on my heart. Today was it. He was leaving. My mother would be here.
The summer was over.
I pulled myself out of bed, forcing myself to brush my teeth and pull my hair back. Feeling as though it was a chore as I dressed in shorts and a tank top before I packed up the rest of my belongings. My eyes were dry as they could be, having run all out of tears.
It was going on three in the morning when Edward dropped me off last night, and even though Uncle Charlie sat on the couch until I walked in, he didn't say anything as I walked in the door and up to my room. He knew, I knew, Edward knew…it was time to say goodbye, which was punishment enough.
"Hi, darlin'," Charlie greeted as I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. He was frying up some eggs on the stove, and I poured a cup of coffee before I sat down at the table.
"What time is Edward heading out of here?" he asked, sparing me a glace.
"Noon," I answered, my dry eyes burning.
He sighed, nodding. "And you're mother will be here around four, right?" he continued.
"Something like that," I mumbled, not bothering to remember the detail from her last letter.
"Alright, well, baby, chin up... This one goodbye isn't gonna kill ya. You have a whole lifetime to look forward to, and who knows, maybe you and the Masen kid might work out after all."
I lifted my head and looked at him with hopeful eyes. "Do you really think so?"
"Life's a funny thing, Bella," was his only response.
I remembered the night before, when Edward had carved into the tree. I love you, B.
He loved me, and even though we were still young, I could only hang onto the prayer that this summer wasn't it for us, that we still had a chance, that life was a funny thing and anything could happen.
But when I went to go reply back to Uncle Charlie, there was a knock at the door, and the sound only sent my hopeful thoughts into oblivion, because part of me knew, with each heavy step I took to answer the person behind it...
This was it.
My heart was about to break, and I wasn't sure how long it would take to ever feel whole again.
…
End Notes –
Oh my.
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