Oh how the time just flies by…
Disclaimer: I do not own the Fairly OddParents or other relating characters.
Chapter Two: Fairy Court
"Yes, goodnight to you too." Anti-Cosmo closed the door behind him as HP and Sanderson left the castle. He took his monocle off, using a handkerchief to wipe it clean. "Has Timothy retired for the night?"
"Yeah, the little darlin' sure was tired." Her teeth bucked out of her crooked smile. "Can't blame him. I feel mighty tired ma'self."
"Indeed. Perhaps we should call it a day." Anti-Cosmo led the way to their bedroom.
Anti-Cosmo silently poofed into Timothy's room for the umpteenth time that night. For some reason, unbeknownst to him, he felt the need to continuously check up on the boy.
Every time, he would find the same sight before his eyes.
Little Timothy, buried under his comforter, sleeping soundly as if he had not been ripped away from his family only hours before.
"Cozzie?"
Anti-Cosmo turned to the sound of his wife calling to him.
"Cozzie, ya don't have to worry. The darlin's gonna be fine." Sleepiness was clearly evident on her voice and face as she rubbed her eyes.
"I know, dear. Yet, I cannot help but fret. It is the child's first night here."
Anti-Wanda raised an eyebrow at his response. "He's not a baby. He's gonna be fine." She grabbed his arm and poofed him back to their own room, only a few feet away.
Anti-Cosmo sighed in defeat. "I suppose you're right." Maybe he really was just worrying over nothing.
"Cosmo, you bumbling idiot!" Jorgen zapped the poor fairy into a pile of ash again.
"I said I was sorry." The pile of ashes cried.
Wanda sighed before raising her wand. In an instant, the pile of ash became her husband once more.
"Sorry! Sorry is not going to fix this!" Jorgen's heavy Austrian accent boomed through the room. "The Fairy Council is not going to be happy about this. They're going to be on my back for months!"
"The Fairy Council doesn't matter right now!" Wanda piped. "We need to find a way to get Timmy back! Now!" Her maternal instincts were about to send her into another rampage. She was inches away from storming into Anti-Fairy World to reclaim her godson.
"We can't! Turner made that deal on his own. The treaty between the Fairies and Anti-Fairies is already strained as it is. We can only get him back if the Anti-Fairies willingly hand him back."
"Can't we just storm in there and take him by force?" Cosmo asked, clearly not having paid any attention to anything Jorgen was saying.
"No." A giant purple book of 'Da Rules' suddenly appeared beside Jorgen. The book opened to the exact page Jorgen was looking for. "It is against the rules to steal a godchild from another magical creature. Anti-Fairies may be evil. But they are still magical creatures. As long as they got the godchildren legally, we can't take them by force."
Cosmo nodded, getting the gist of the situation. "So, if Timmy's not our godchild, what are we going to do now?"
"Nothing!" Jorgen yelled at the two fairies. "For your incompetence, you are hereby banned from ever having another godchild!"
Timmy rubbed his eyes as he awoke in the dark room. What time was it? It was hard to tell when the sky was always the same shade of grey or red. Not having a clock probably didn't help either.
Maybe it was morning. He could always go outside and check, he had a little theory that the when the sky was red, it was morning.
Timmy silently slipped out of the bed, not wanting to wake the two anti-fairies in case it was still night time. He pattered out of his room, down the hall, and to the grand staircase leading to the main room of the castle.
It was a staircase, how could he resist?
Throwing all previous caution out the window, Timmy jumped onto the banister and slid down the length of the massive staircase. As the end approached, he jumped up, landing perfectly on the rug in a flip.
Now that he was actually getting a better look at the house, it would actually pass off as a fun place, minus the gloomy aura. There were tons of places to jump, run, slide, and summersault off/on to.
Who cares about the time of day?
Timmy ran towards the couch, building momentum. He jumped from the ground to the cushion, using the extra boost to grab the curtain's draw rope. The rope came down with his weight, sending him swinging back and forth across the room while opening the cutain.
The boy couldn't help but laugh, he had nothing like this back at his home on earth.
His laughter was cut short when a barrage of flashing lights caught him off guard. The sheer amount of them blinded him, causing him to lose his grip on the rope. He fell into a heap on top of the coffee table, or what remained of it after it shattered from the impact.
The door to the dining room slammed open in a hurry to reveal a concerned Anti-Cosmo. "Timothy! Are you alright?" He took hold of the boy's arm and pulled him up, away from the shattered glass.
The lights from the open window flashed even brighter, and in greater amounts. What was causing all that light?
"Goodness gracious!" The anti-fairy flew to the draw rope and pulled it once more, closing the curtains.
By the time Timmy regained his vision, Anti-Cosmo was already outside, yelling at someone.
"Away, away with the rest of you!" Anti-Cosmo shouted. "It's much too early for your shenanigans."
There were a few groans of disappointment, but they were overpowered by Anti-Cosmo's constant shooing.
When the dark fairy returned, he had a scowl on his face and a newspaper under his arm. "I thought they would have the decency to wait a few more days. I put too much faith in my own people." He stopped his irritated ranting at the sight of Timothy in his pajamas. "You're not hurt, are you?"
"No, I'm good."
"Are you sure?" Anti-Cosmo lifted the boy's shirt up to check his stomach. "No bruises, scratches, anything?" The child had landed in glass.
"Yes, I'm sure." Timmy pulled his shirt down, embarrassed. "Who was that?"
"Paparazzi. Ugh." Anti-Cosmo rolled his eyes. He'd spent most of his life dealing with them. That's what happened when you were in power.
"Paparazzi?" The boy's voice peaked in surprise. "You guys have paparazzi?"
"Well of course. What? Did you think we were a collapsed society, living by Darwin's law, viewing every day as a battle for power?" His smirk couldn't possibly get any bigger.
"Well…I…" Timmy thought that exactly. It was eerie how Anti-Cosmo had his thoughts down word for word. He honestly believed they were more like savages, fighting over food, shelter and the few luxury items that may had been pilfered from Fairy World.
"Oh Timothy, my boy." Anti-Cosmo ruffled his hair. "We function just as well as Fairies, or as you humans. We have hospitals, libraries, recreational centers, and movie theaters. We have industries of every type. Tell you what. Once everything settles down, I will personally show you around Anti-Fairy World. Until then, time for breakfast."
Timmy was led to the dining room and pushed into a seat by his godmother.
"I made waffles!" Anti-Wanda exclaimed in her goofy way. She waved her wand, smiling as a pile of syrup-coated waffles appeared in front of Timmy's seat.
"Why would they want pictures of me?" Timmy asked, not yet ready to drop the subject. He'd been in the papers before, but it was usually for something big. Like saving the world, or holding Poof.
"Why wouldn't they?" Anti-Cosmo opened up his newspaper and shook the wrinkles out. "You are the first ever anti-fairy godchild in history. You're going to be bigger than Poof! I know, because there were fairy paparazzi out there, not just anti-fairy."
Fairy paparazzi? Timmy's hopes soared. That meant Cosmo and Wanda would see this!
As if angered by something, Anti-Cosmo suddenly slammed his paper down on the table. "I better leave now if I want to make it to the office in time. Those darned paparazzi are going to be blocking all the air traffic." He shuffled around a bit, trying to find the keys to his flying mobile. "I'm afraid I won't be able to keep you company today, Timothy. Fret not, for this would be a great opportunity for you to explore the castle. When you finish your breakfast, why don't you get a bit acquainted with your new home? You're welcome anywhere in the castle, but stay inside. Those paparazzi might try and come back when I'm gone."
Anti-Wanda poured tea into a thermos before handing it to her husband. She then placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek. "Have a nice day."
"And you, my evil little crumpet." He returned the display of affection. "Goodbye Timothy." He resisted the urge to tousle the boy's hair on his way out, opting to simply fly to the garage where his evil mobile awaited.
Once he was out of sight, Timmy turned, bewildered, to Anti-Wanda. "He has a job? What does he do?"
"He's supreme anti-fairy, silly!" Everyone knew that!
Timmy knew Anti-Cosmo was in charge, but he didn't think there was an official hierarchy. Oh well. He nibbled on his waffles, watching Anti-Wanda eat extremely messily. There were bits of waffles flying all over the dining room and her glass of orange juice needed to be refilled after every sip.
"Somethin' wrong?" She asked, noticing the boy staring at her.
"Can I go look around now?" He asked. Seeing Anti-Wanda eat was making him loose his appetite. She must only eat like this when Anti-Cosmo was gone, because he could have sworn she ate like a civilized person only the night before.
"Sure thang. If ya need anything just call."
He quickly jumped off his seat and dashed out of the dining room.
Timmy stood at the main entrance of the house. The castle was huge and if he wanted to explore all of it, he better start from the beginning.
The castle split into two wings from the bottom floor, so Timmy took to the right. Once he was done, he could always comeback and explore the left wing.
He followed the hallway down until he reached a room filled with nothing but doors. Doors as far as the eyes could see, one on top of the other all the way up to the ceiling.
He had been here before when coming to save Poof the day the baby fairy had been born.
This was going to take forever! He still couldn't help but feel excited. If this castle was anything like the one in his fishbowl, he knew he was going to have a blast.
Of course, there was only one way to find out.
He took the first door that caught his attention.
"You two better not mess this up!" Jorgen warned the two fairies beside him.
Seeing as the two of them were the godchild in question's godparents, they were obligated to be there, though had he the choice, the two wouldn't even be allowed within the confines of the building. They were going to mess this up; he could see it in their shivers.
How could they not shiver? Not only was the room freezing, but the two fairies were incredibly nervous.
At first they had thought the appeal would be taken to Fairy Court, but Jorgen announced it would be taken to the Magical Council. These were the people who ruled over all magical creatures. In Fairy Council, they could fight and ask for a re-trial, but not here. Here, what is said goes.
Luckily, the trials were fair. Seeing as this was a case between Fairies and Anti-Fairies, the judge was a leprechaun; a neutral creature with no bias or relation to the fairies or anti-fairies.
The jury was composed of Elves, yet another set of neutral creatures.
Wanda kept her fingers crossed. Elves tended to side with good, so she may just have a chance of winning Timmy back. Taking a deep breath she grabbed her husband's hand for support and reassurance.
With a confident nod, the two entered the courtroom.
The press was naturally crammed into the viewer's seats, the judge had not yet entered the room, and there sat Anti-Cosmo at the opposite table.
Wanda suddenly had the urge to tear the evil fairy's smirk right off of his dark blue face. She quickly bottles her anger, not wanting to make a scene in front of the judge or the bailiff. Yes, Anti-Cosmo would get his just desserts; she would make sure of it.
Once the fairies were situated at their table, the bailiff stood to make his announcement. "All rise for the honorable judge Bonnie Wells."
All the magical creatures rose as the red-headed leprechaun in green robes walked to her stand and seated herself. "Please sit down." She announced in a heavy Irish accent.
Wanda couldn't be any more thrilled. The judge was a girl! If she could appeal to her motherly instinct, she could easily sway her decision in their favor.
"We have the Fairies VS Anti-Fairies in the custody battle over godchild Timothy Tiberius Turner." Bonnie read aloud from the papers in front of her. "Fairies, you believe the Anti-Fairies are not fit to be godparents. State your case."
Jorgen gave the two fairies a death glare as they stood up to talk. The shrunk back down in their seats, allowing him the stand. "Your honor, as you know Anti-Fairy World is a dark place. That's bad for kids, right?"
Wanda face-palmed. They were so going to lose.
Bonnie simply nodded her head. "Go on."
"Anti-Fairies are evil, everyone hates them!" Cosmo shouted from his seat.
There was a gasp throughout the court room.
Cameras started flashing as Cosmo used magic to shrink himself, trying not to look like a complete idiot. It had just spilled out of his mouth! He wanted his godson back, he wanted to show everyone that Anti-Cosmo would only treat the boy badly, but all he got was 'everyone hates them.' Great, now the fairies would look bad for being racist.
Wanda wanted to be angry, but she couldn't. At least Cosmo had the guts to stand up to Jorgen. She should too! "Your honor!" She stood up, igniting more camera flashes. "What my husband meant to say was, the anti-fairies are notoriously known for the maladies they have inflicted on humans. Timmy is a human, what guarantee do we have that they will not use him as a test subject or a punching bag."
Anti-Cosmo was outraged. How dare they accuse him of such a thing? They were no better themselves! He counted backwards from ten, putting a lid on his anger. His defense was perfect, no need to blow it away with his temper.
Wanda paused a moment, watching Bonnie nod her head. "Your honor, may I ask you a question?"
"You may." The leprechaun adjusted her robe.
"Do you have children?" Wanda asked softly and sweetly.
"No, I'm afraid not."
Wanda could hear the gears in her head crash. So much for that plan. "I rest my case." She floated back to her chair.
"Very good then." Bonnie pointed her gavel towards Anti-Cosmo. "Anti-Fairies, you may present your case."
Anti-Cosmo stood up and cleared his throat. "Your honor, I would like to draw attention to accusation of Anti-Fairies being unfit godparents. It is common knowledge that the leader of the fairies, the supreme fairy, the one who is supposed to be a role model for all fairies has no godchild of his own. And why is that?"
The crowd silenced as they waited for Anti-Cosmo to continue.
"It is because Jorgen himself is an unfit godparent. Do you recall the case of Johnny Sanders?"
Wanda's face paled. It was over.
Timmy stood on the banister, eyeing the distance between him and the chandelier. This jump would be easy, he could so make it.
He jumped with his arms wide open. The chandelier was within his fingertips when suddenly; a table.
A table?
He was three stories off the ground, how did he land on a table?
He flipped himself, lying on his backside to see Anti-Wanda and another anti-fairy floating above him. The other dark fairy looked exactly like Anti-Wanda except her hair was pitch black, and her teeth were perfect. She had on a navy-blue dress that hugged her form and a black boa draped across her arms and shoulder.
"Why hello, dear." She said in a sophisticated accent. "Aren't you going to introduce me?" She practically demanded from Anti-Wanda.
She seemed so familiar. Her name was on the tip of his tongue!
Anti-Wanda gave a loud sigh. "Timmy, this here's my sister, Anti-Blonda."
So close! He almost had it! "Hi. I'm Timmy." He said from his position on the table. He stood up right to get a better look at her.
"She's-" Anti-Wanda was cut off when her sister placed her hand over her mouth.
"Allow me." Anti-Blonda gave a sly smile. "I am an actress. More specifically, Anti-Fairy World's most Zappied actress. You can call me Auntie-Blonda."
Timmy had to raise an eyebrow at that.
"Now listen here." Anti-Wanda interjected before her sister could go on. "I know's this is just another one of yer' little stunts. As if ya don't have 'nough limelight already."
"Whatever do you mean?" Anti-Blonda quickly tried to cover the fact she had been caught. "I was simply trying to get acquainted with my godnephew." She quickly dragged Timmy into a hug.
Anti-Wanda poofed Timmy out of Anti-Blonda's grasp and into hers. "Don't ya' worry a thing, Timmy. I won't let her hurt ya."
"Hurt?" Her sister asked, almost devastated. "Why I never? My own sister accuse me of such a thing?"
"I thought the Zappies were a Fairywood award?" Timmy blurted out, completely disregarding the argument the two anti-fairies were having in front of him.
"See! He does want to spend time with his Auntie." The actress poofed the boy back to her side.
"No he doesn't. The darlin' asked ya a question."
Timmy was suddenly by Anti-Wanda's side again.
"Well to answer his question, No. The Zappies are for all magical creatures. It's only called Fairywood because the fairies were the first to create movies, but all magical creatures film their movies through big Fairywood contracts. I specialize in horror movies myself. You must have seen some of my work while you were there?" She smirked at her sister, once more teleporting the boy to her.
"No, never." Timmy shook his head.
"Well then. How about I take you on set-"
"No way!" Anti-Wanda shouted, startling the two. "Timmy is still adjustin' to his new home. Why dontcha' go bother someone else?"
"You shouldn't smother the poor child, dear sister of mine. I hear that's bad for them." Anti-Blonda smirked, as if pretending to have the upper hand in parenting.
Timmy quickly grabbed Anti-Wanda's wrist as she prepared to poof him to her again. "No! No more poofing, it's making me dizzy."
"Sorry, sweetie." She placed her wand back in her pocket. "Look missy!" She jabbed her sister in the head. "Card night is gonna be startin' real soon and everyone wants ta' meet Timmy. Ya' said ya' came early to help. Not ta' bug my boy."
"Fine, fine. I'll make the lemonade. Timmy can help me."
A pile of lemons suddenly showed up in front of the boy along with a manual juicer.
"So, who else is coming?" Timmy kicked a lemon out of the way.
"A few friends. Oh yeah!" Anti-Wanda piped as if she had just remembered something. "Mama's comin' early too! I better get started." She flew off, her short attention span preventing her from remembering the quarrel she was having only five minutes ago.
"Mama? As in your mother too?" Timmy asked, confused. He had only met Wanda's father back in Fairy World, never her mother.
"No." Anti-Blonda threw her boa to the side so it would not get dirty from the citrus juice. "Mama as in Anti-Mama Cosma."
"Mama Cosma? Doesn't Anti-Wanda hate her…and vice versa?"
"Oh please! You should have seen the day my dim-witted sister married that fool Anti-Cosmo. Anti-Mama Cosma could not have been happier. You see, Cosma always wanted a kid who would be a mama's boy, but not Anti-Cosmo. No sir, as soon as he was out, he was on his own, independent of everyone and everything. Drove her crazy."
"Oh." It seemed the Anti-Fairies were opposite in a lot more way than Timmy could have imagined.
Wanda chased after Anti-Cosmo, grabbing his shoulder as he was about to leave the building. "Wait!" She cried out.
Of course they had lost. Once Anti-Cosmo showed pictures of poor Johnny Sanders, Jorgen's first and only godchild, the case had gone to him hands down. That and he had proof of Timmy making the bet in sound and stable mind.
"What is it now?" Anti-Cosmo asked, clearly annoyed at having been stopped yet again for something so trivial. Did the fairies have to be such sore losers?
"You can't do this!" She pleaded. "Timmy needs us!"
"Needs you, you say? Are you sure?" Anti-Cosmo took his monocle off to wipe clean as he spoke. "Last I checked, you were so busy with baby Poof, you hardly had time for poor Timothy. Wasn't he attacked by rabid dogs? What about that Crocker fellow? I hear he's put Timothy is some serious situations, yet somehow you weren't there. Tell me, Wanda, how does one get separated from their godchild?"
Wanda was about to retort, but was cut off.
"From foolishness, that's how! Your husband is a child on his own! How can you raise Timothy if you can't even keep your own family out of trouble? Tell me that! Besides. Timothy will be better off with me. I can give him the proper care and attention he deserves. Not I.O.U notes every time he finds himself in a sticky situation. Pfff! As if you would know what he needed."
Wanda watched him drift away, out of sight.
When the doorbell rang, Anti-Wanda flew at Mach five to answer. She flung the door open and embraced the other anti-fairy.
Back in the kitchen, Timmy prepared to jump off the table and greet the opposite Mama Cosma, but was stopped.
"Better not, sport. Those paparazzi are having a field day knowing the both of us are here. It's best you wait it out here." Anti-Blonda patted his black hair.
Timmy heard them approaching. They chatted loudly as they entered the room.
As soon as she stepped in Anti-Mama Cosma zeroed in on Timmy.
He gulped.
She zoomed, flying faster than he could see, pulling him into a gut-wrenching, bone-crushing hug. "He is so precious!" Her stack of dark blue curls was rubbing against Timmy's face.
"Can't…breathe…" He managed to rasp out as his face started turning blue from the lack of air.
"Sorry dear. I get a little excited from time to time. I suppose I should introduce myself. I am Anti-Mama Cosma. I'm Anti-Cosmo's mother."
Timmy didn't respond, mostly because he didn't have anything to say. She was Anti-Cosmo's mother, okay, now what?
"He's just a little shy." Anti-Wanda rubbed his back comfortingly, assuming he felt awkward about meeting the others.
"Oh it's alright sweetie. I read all about you in the morning paper." Mama Cosma pinched his cheek.
"Wait." He said through his stretched cheeks. "The paper?"
"Yes." The elder anti-fairy conjured up that morning's paper. "Oh, they went on and on about my boy's victory at the Olympics, but they talked about you a good deal too."
Timmy quickly skimmed through the article. They had used his picture from the Fairy World files, apparently it was the only one they could get a hold of, and mainly put in whatever information they could find on him in there.
"Says here they're offering a big reward to anyone who could get a picture of you." Anti-Blonda read from over his shoulder.
Great. More reason for the paparazzi to come after him.
Wow, that took forever. I typed it out in one sitting!
On a totally separate note, thank you all for reviewing. It inspires me to type!
I myself have always pictured Anti-Mama Cosma and Anti-Wanda getting along, or is it just me?
Review Please!