Nov.3

...Dont ask HOW but I think mom may have found out about that party.

Shes been asking all kinds weird questions like "You know you can tell me anything" and "Are you happy?" After that, I got pissed because I KNOW she really doesn't care or know anthing about me... Anyway I snapped and told her EVERYTHING. I told her that I WASNT happy; I told her what I thought of her, dad, the pills, and the doctors, ALL of it... I expected her to scream back and check me into a mental hospital but she just...She just sat there and listened. I continued screaming for well over twenty minutes and then locked myself in my room. Later I heard her on the phone with the doctor crying. I don't know whats going on anymore... Dad came home early and almost killed me for talking to her like that. What I find interesting is they always tell me to talk about how I feel, yet when I do, they freak. So I took matters into my own hands. They barely talk to me or each other without yelling anyway.

I stopped taking the pill. I never needed them in the first place! I can finally think straight.

~~~Roger

Nov.9

I keep trying to deny it... But I keep seeing that kid from that party. God. I keep seeing him and have VIVID flashbacks every time I do. Everything he does I as somthing erotic! I may only see him while passing in the hall, but hes either got a pen in his mouth or bending over to pick somthing up, or on his knees getting books out of his locker- OK! I gotta stop thinking like this...

Well I still havnt really talked to my parents about last week. And I dont plan on it untill they admit I was right. But they dont let me out anymore. Unless Im at school, they want me home. Its SO stupid! I dont have manny friends, but beleive it or not, I actually DO like hanging with the like, 4 friends I DO have... Not that they really know anything about me. We mostly just mess around with eachother or other people... Id still like to know whats up with that albino kid though... Hes always hangin around that loud mouthed chick I caught making out with another girl in the boys bathroom, figure THAT one out.

~~~Roger

Nov.20

My life SUCKS! My parents wont talk to me, Im not allowed to leave the houe, Im horny as fuck, Im bored, I hate all my teachers at school, and I cant stop fuking thinking about that damn freshie! I dont even ask for much! I JUST want my parents to get off my back and to be able to blend in without looking like a TOTAL freak! Im FINE with freak, I dont even want a normal life or a girlfiend or a family that actually cares about me but people are now going out of there way to avoid me! Including Mark! I- GOD Im such a fucking STALKER! I looked up the shool directory and asked around. I found his name... Mark. And his adress. And apparently its his birthday... I kinda decided to send him somthing... Well, more of anappology for kinda molesting him. He was obviously drunk and WAAY hormonal and I didnt exactly tell him to stop... So I wrote a note in a card. But it seemed stupid without a gift and And I have NO money, so I had to make due with a bottle of black nail polish. Yea, Yea, Yea! I know! But Im broke and the LAST think Im gonna do is ask for moey from my parents to buy my crus- er- Um... "intrest" a crappy birthday gift... I just dont want him to think Im stalking him or somthing... even though I kinda am... Oh WHATEVER! Like I give a rats ass if I sorta kinda may have... . Ok. Maybe I do but AHHH! I need a life!

~~~Roger

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