My secret? Well, if I told you it wouldn't be a secret now, would it?
Disclaimer: I do not own The Fairly OddParents or other relating characters.
Chapter Six: Valentine's Day
"I'm here everybody! Let the party start!" Cupid made his grand entrance in full swing. Little pink fireworks exploded into rainbows of color around him as mini cherubs flew around his head in circles.
Meanwhile, his audience, composed of Anti-Cosmo, watched from the doorway, unamused. "Must you do that every time?"
"Of course. I'm the god of love; people have got to love my entrances too." A sly look slowly crept onto the pink-haired fairy's face. "Speaking of love, how are you and Anti-Wanda doing?"
Anti-Cosmo blushed a bit. "We're doing fine, thank you." He really did not like sharing details of his romantic life with fairies, or with anyone for that matter.
"Sure you don't want a little extra zing for tonight? Cause I can easily-"
"You're here for Timothy, right? Timothy!" Anti-Cosmo patted his face, trying to feel if he was still blushing or not. How could that man ask such a personal question? And to offer something like that! He was perfectly competent, he didn't need assistance.
Timmy ran down the stairs, stopping excitedly in front of the two magical creatures. He was finally going to get to see Fairy World again!
"There you are, sport!" Cupid waved his wand, changing Timmy's attire to that of a cherub. "Let's get going, it's almost morning! The love happens now!"
"Yes, yes, have him back by nightfall. Be careful, Timothy, do not prick yourself with an arrow." Anti-Cosmo did not want to have to deal with a love-struck child. He waved his wand, changing the colors of Timmy's cherub costume to something darker.
"Trust me, I got that one down a long time ago." Timmy remembered his past valentine's days, ones that always ended with him and Tootie. This year was probably not going to be any different. He would always tell himself that he would go for Trixie that year, but he would always find Tootie crying. His guilty conscious would do the rest of the work.
"Well then, have a good time." Anti-Cosmo waved him off. With Timothy gone, he would be able to spend the day with Anti-Wanda. Anti-Fairies may have been evil creatures, but that does not mean they did not enjoy the sweet things in life, like the company of a soul mate. How else would anti-fairy babies have been born had it not been for love?
An arrow suddenly shot through the open doorway, flying past Anti-Cosmo's head and into the corridor. He heard his wife cry out in pain then squeal in excitement.
"Cozzie!" She cried in elation as she tackled her husband. She began kissing him all over with a fevering passion.
"Have fun!" Cupid yelled out through the open doorway before zipping off. He didn't want to get blasted by Anti-Cosmo.
"I don't normally bring cherubs here, so I'm going to be relying on you for this one, Timmy." Cupid maneuvered his heart shaped jet through the dark clouds of Anti-Fairy World. He hated all the turbulence they caused.
"I'm still surprised Anti-Cosmo agreed to this. How did you get him to say yes?" Timmy followed closely behind in his own heart-shaped jet.
"Oh, Anti-Cosmo and I go way back."
"Way back? You two are friends?" He knew Cupid had connections, but even all the way in Anti-Fairy World?
"No, but he owes me big. Really big!" Cupid laughed.
"For what?" Timmy was genuinely confused. What could Anti-Cosmo possibly owe to Cupid? It wouldn't be like him to associate with fairies unless absolutely necessary.
"Tell me, Timmy, how do you think he got with Anti-Wanda?"
"Anti-Wanda liked smart guys?" He guessed off the top of his head. What else could she possible find attractive about Anti-Cosmo?
"No! She actually despised Anti-Cosmo all throughout high school. It was Anti-Cosmo who loved Anti-Wanda. He tried again and again to win her over, but couldn't do it. Don't get me wrong, the two of them were meant to be together, just not for a while. Anti-Cosmo was so heart-stricken, he couldn't wait any longer. HE came to me and asked for my help. I could see that he really did love her so I figured it wouldn't be of any harm. So when Anti-Wanda went the next day for a walk in the park, Anti-Cosmo caught up with her and I struck her with an arrow. She fell in love with Anti-Cosmo and here they are nine thousand five hundred fifty nine years later."
That explained a lot. It was still strange to Timmy though; why would Anti-Cosmo fall for someone like Anti-Wanda? He thought the anti-fairy would find intellectual girls more pleasing. Heck, he was supreme anti-fairy, he probably had power hungry, yet attractive, girls after him.
Some things in the world just never made any sense.
"You actually come here on Valentine's Day?" Timmy asked, watching the dead forest below them as they descended for landing.
"Of course. It's my job to spread love to all the creatures be they normal fairies or anti-fairies."
Once the jet touched the ground Timmy reached for a quiver of heart-tipped arrow.
"Stop right there young man!" Cupid grabbed the boy's hand before he could reach the arrows. "These are Anti-Fairies; you have to use anti-live arrows!"
"Really? What happens if we use normal love arrows?"
"The same thing that would happen if you use anti-love arrows on a human or normal fairy. They would fall out of love. Now, watch closely." The diaper-clad fairy pulled two anti-love arrows taunt in his bow. He waited for two unsuspecting anti-fairies to pass by before releasing the arrows.
The arrows struck their marks head on. The two dark fairies rubbed the spots on their foreheads in pain. As they gazed around to find the source of their torment, their eyes landed on each other. They drifted towards each other, embracing suddenly and floating away with hands clasped together.
"Wow." Was the only thing that spilled from Timmy' mouth.
"It's beautiful, I know."
They travelled Anti-Fairy World, making several anti-fairies fall in love.
It was funny for Timmy. Not only was he making the most evil creatures fall in love, but he was also seeing the anti-fairy forms of all the fairies he knew. The differences were substantial in some while it was hard to find any in others.
A beautiful fairy may have been incredibly ugly as an anti-fairy or a socially awkward fairy may have been the life of the party as an anti-fairy.
What he liked the most was actually firing the arrows. It was the main reason he looked forward to Valentine's Day. He would get a chance to play matchmaker and mess around at the same time. Not to mention he had access to Cupid's infinite stash of chocolate.
The sun was starting to come out as the two of them finished with their last location at Anti-Fairy World.
"We better head over to Fairy World." Cupid explained. "We want to get most of the fairies before they leave to see their boy/girlfriends serving as godparents in the human world."
As soon as Timmy set foot in Fairy World he felt a wave of nostalgia wash over him. It had been a month since he had last seen this place! It was nice to see some color and life flowing through the people here.
"Timmy!" Cupid sang out. "You have visitors!"
The boy turned around to come face to face with his former godfamily. "Cosmo, Wanda, Poof!" He ran to them and jumped into one big hug, tearing up along the way.
"Timmy, we've missed you so much!" Wanda held the boy close, refusing to let him go. It was so good to have her godson back with her. "They haven't been starving you, have they?" She pinched his cheek. "You look a little thin."
The boy laughed and pulled away from the group hug. "I've always been this thin, Wanda."
"Timmy!" Cosmo wiped the tears out of the boy's eyes and gave him a bone crushing hug, happy to see the boy in good health.
The pink hair fairy wanted to make another jab at his health to make the boy's new godparents look bad, but what could she say? Timmy was so happy to see her; she didn't want to ruin that gorgeous smile of his.
"Wow Timmy, you really know how to pull off the dark look." Cosmo tugged on the sleeve of Timmy's black shirt.
"Alright, we've got to get down to business!" Cupid clapped his hands to attract everyone's attention, well, mostly to get it away from Timmy. He had promised Anti-Cosmo the boy would not see his former godparents, but of course, he took Timmy to see them anyways.
"Poof poof!" The baby fairy jumped into Timmy's arms, asking if he could join them on their adventure.
"Well I don't see why you can't." Cupid turned to Wanda. "What do you think?"
"All right." How could the mother say no? It would be a good time for bonding between the two of them.
"Poof!" He waved his wand in excitement. His wish to accompany Timmy on his Valentine's Day work was granted. Now they would finally get a chance to play with his godbrother!
"We need to get going." Cupid hated to break up the reunion, but he didn't want them getting too attached. It would be difficult to explain to Anti-Cosmo why the boy returned with a sour face.
Wanda and Cosmo begrudgingly let go of Timmy. Cupid told them it would only be for a few minutes. At least they knew Timmy was still alive.
With Poof in tow, Timmy climbed back into the heart shaped jet to prepare for takeoff. Timmy waited for the signal from Cupid to take off, but instead got a different signal. He nodded in understanding. "Sit her for a sec, lil' bro." He set the baby down on the jet's control panel to give himself a little more elbow room. He reached to the back of the jet and fetched his bow and two arrows. "Cosmo, Wanda!" He yelled out of the open jet.
When the two turned around, they were each struck by a love arrow.
"Poof!"
"Thanks, buddy." Timmy quickly closed the jet and started up the engine, following behind Cupid. He laughed as he saw the hearts coming off the two newly heart-stricken fairies.
Thanks to his naturally inbred flying ability, it was decided that Cupid would be the one to take the air. Timmy was instead stationed in the park with Poof.
Timmy sat at the top of the tree with the list Cupid had given him. He was supposed to shoot the fairies once they were in range of their destined Valentine for the day, but this was confusing. Cupid must have done this at the last minute for the names were hard to read and it was hard to tell who went with whom. Luckily, Timmy had Poof with him to help him decipher the impossible list.
"Okay, so Marie goes with…Phil?" Timmy turned the list upside down in hopes of making it easier to read. The funny part was it did help.
"Poof!" The purple-clad fairy pointed to another name on the list. Marie was supposed to be with Robert, not Phil.
"Oh, right. What would I do without you Poof?" Timmy asked as he prepped his next batch of arrows.
"Poof poof!" He beamed at the compliment.
"Uh….you want to take this one?" Timmy asked in mild disgust.
"Poof poof!" Poof had to put his little hands in front of his mouth to resist the urge to vomit.
Unfortunately for the two, the next on the list was Mama Cosmo and Big Daddy. Needless to say, stomachs began churning at an alarming rate.
"Let's…let's just cross this one off the list, there's no way Cupid will notice."
Poof nodded vigorously.
"Okay, last fairies on our list." Timmy rolled the long list up until he was at the final name. "Jorgen!" He sighed as he rubbed his forehead. "Of course Cupid would stick us with the job shooting the toughest fairy around."
"Poof." The baby's voice came out as a soft whine. Even he knew how much trouble this would turn out to be.
Everyone knew Jorgen hated Valentine's Day because it meant a visit from Cupid. Now don't get them wrong, Jorgen did not have anything against Cupid, just his job.
You see, Jorgen believed he was manly enough to get any (if not all) the girls in Fairy World without anyone's help. Therefore, having a girl fall in love with him via a love arrow would be a major blow to his ego.
Still, Timmy could not understand why he wouldn't just let it go at this point. The man was already married to the Tooth Fairy; there was no need to get all angry about it.
"Alright Poof, looks like we're going to need stealth mode to get this one."
With a laugh Poof waved his rattle to replace their current attire with ninja costumes.
"Awesome!" Timmy pulled the mask part of the costume over his face and slung the bow and quiver over his right shoulder. He then picked Poof up and set him down on his left shoulder. "Ready for this?"
"Poof!"
"Good, let's roll."
Silently, the two of them jumped through the open window into Jorgen's living room.
"Good, it doesn't look like anyone is here yet." Making sure Poof was still on board; Timmy tiptoed through the halls of the mansion. "Jorgen's a late sleeper. If we're lucky, we can get him while he is still asleep."
Poof drifted to the ceiling and peered around the corner. He gave Timmy the thumbs up, letting him know the hallway was clear.
Just as Timmy was about to round the final corner, he heard a loud voice from behind him.
"Going somewhere, Turner?"
Timmy turned very slowly to face the massive fairy. "Heh heh." He laughed nervously. "Hi, Jorgen…"
"Don't you 'hi' me! I know why you're here. Give it up Turner."
"You're right. I'm not strong enough." Timmy ignored the surprised look Poof was giving him. He removed the quiver with the only remaining arrow in it, handing it to Jorgen without a fight.
"That's right. Jorgen needs help from no one on Valentine's Day!" He crushed the quiver in his hands, only to feel something poke him. His vision swam pink as he felt the sudden urge to see his wife. "Go away Turner, I have something I need to do." Jorgen grabbed the boy and baby, kicking them out the front door.
"Poof poof?" The baby asked as soon as he had gathered his bearings.
"I knew Jorgen would crush the quiver, so if I left the arrow facing upwards in it he would have poked himself with the arrow."
"Poof!" He laughed at Timmy's clever plan.
"Ah! You did it!" Cupid flew around the two in circles. "That's fabulous! I knew you were the right one for the job!"
"What? You gave it to us because you didn't want to do it yourself!"
"Maybe…" Cupid laughed and gave the boy a pat on that back. "Let's get going. Earth and then we're done!"
Timmy sighed. Earth. That could only mean one thing.
Tootie.
He was going to need a lot of chocolate on the way.
"We're here!" Cupid popped the top of his jet off. "Ah, nighttime! You human are one of the few creatures that get more amorous when the darkness rolls around."
"Ugh. Come back and talk to me in eight years." Timmy really did not want to hear about it.
"Since you've been working so hard today, I'll give you only one assignment. Then, you can enjoy yourself here."
Timmy accepted the single arrow. He turned over and read the name. Timmy Turner. Great.
"It's your choice! You don't have to go for Tootie." Why did the boy insist? His face clearly said he did not want to. Still, Cupid found it cute the child would always pick his destined Valentine, even when he was given the choice.
"It's for the best. No one deserves to be alone on Valentine's Day. Besides, with this baby I won't feel disgusted." Timmy balanced the arrow on his index finger.
Cupid laughed and applauded. "Oh Timmy! You're so romantic!"
The boy rolled his eyes at the comment.
"Anti-Cosmo should be here soon. I'll take Poof so you don't have to worry about returning him." And so he didn't have to worry about Anti-Cosmo discovering their little visit. "Have fun!"
"Poof poof!"
Timmy waved them off. Today had been a lot of fun. He got to see Cosmo and Wanda, venture around three different worlds, and eat chocolate. Lots of chocolate!
Now to find Tootie…
"Oh Timmy! You're so sweet. Bye!" Tootie leaned over and gave the madly-in-love Timmy another wet kiss.
As soon as she closed the door to her house, the spell broke.
"Ewwwwwwwwwwww!" Timmy began wiping his mouth furiously and coughing, doing his best to get rid of any trace of Tootie.
Anti-Cosmo poofed onto the scene, only to witness the strange sight. "Timothy?" He asked warily. What on earth was the boy doing? It looked like he was having a seizure.
"Water!" Timmy croaked out.
A waved wand later, a glass of water floated in front of Timmy. He grabbed it and used it to rinse out his mouth. "Thanks, I needed that."
"Indeed. Are you all set to go?"
"Yeah."
"Did you have fun?"
"You bet."
Anti-Cosmo was about to bring the two of them home when Timmy spoke up.
"Thank you, Anti-Cosmo."
The dark fairy smiled softly. "You are welcome."
I can see Jorgen get all pissed about Valentine's Day. And Timmy kind of disgusted. I remember disliking that kind of thing when I was ten years old.
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