Things said in the dark

'You wanted to see me?' Lucas walked ahead to face the woman.

The woman who had caused all his agony for all these years, who had kept him, twisted in a mixture of pain and hurt. Unable to live properly, unable to breathe easily her face, voice and memories occupying every waking second of his days. And nights too, when even his conscious will wasn't present to stop his dreams from tormenting him.

He had come intending to shout at her, to scream at her, to give her what she deserved.

And now he was here. In front of her, watching her turn around.

Her blonde hair disheveled, tears streaming down her cheeks.

'Peyton I…'

'Lucas,' she choked. 'I'm only going to say this once so please don't interrupt me.' She pulled out a thick book and stuffed it into his hands. 'It's his… Shane's. I made copies. Of… of everything. There's a picture of when he first walked, his footprints in the sand, his first word taped down, his first birthday, the first letter he wrote to Santa… everything…' She was crying now, in thick heavy sobs. 'Everything… our… our son…'

Lucas tried to hold her, to stop her from collapsing onto the floor. He was trying to find the words to say but none came and he was too stunned to cry. Too shocked to move.

'Peyton,' his voice raspy came out at last.

'I was too scared…' she sobbed. 'I was too… too scared that you'd leave again. I couldn't take it… I was breaking already from the last time… I was too scared.'

Lucas let her cry, her warm tears falling onto his arm. His arms holding hers, trying to reach out to this woman he loved, and still loved with all his heart.

'Lucas… I'm… I'm so… sorry.' With that she turned and ran off, leaving him on a dark street with a thick book of photographs in his hands and more questions.

But finally, one answer, the answer he'd been waiting for all this time.

He opened the first page – "Lucas Scott – Our Son"

--------------------

When Peyton reached home it was already past 11. She threw her bag on the floor and collapsed onto the sofa, she felt like she could cry but strangely her eyes were dry. In the past few days she had probably cried enough for the past 17 years. She cried when she woke up, cried after she had sent the kids to school, cried at night when everyone was in bed and Nathan was in his study. The living room light switched on, Nathan stood at the doorway between the kitchen and the living room holding a mug. He took one look at her tear-stained face and leaned over her kissing her.

'I'm sorry,' he said.

'Me too…' she said.

'I'm okay now…' he said.

'I know,' she said.

He wiped away her tears gently and kisses her lightly on the cheek, Peyton let him feeling the warmth return to her at the touch of his familiar fingers.

'Come to bed Peyt,' he said softly.

'In a minute,' she said. 'Just a minute.'

Peyton heard his footsteps go up the stairs. She walked slowly over to the kitchen and turned on the tap. She let the tap run for a few minutes before reaching over to take a glass.

Ring ring.

Peyton turned off the tap and reached over to pick up the phone.

'Hello?'

'Peyton its Lucas.'

'Oh.'

'I'm sorry for calling so late, its just Eugenia's not at home and I had a fight with her earlier… I was wondering if she's umm… at your place…'

'Oh… oh I see… I'll go check.'

'You won't… umm… shout at her or anything… I mean…'

'For goodness sakes Luke its almost midnight… I'm not going to kick her out on the streets. Gimme a sec…'

There was some muffling sound before Lucas heard her voice again.

'She's in Shane's room Luke she's fine.'

'Oh… okay great.'

'They're both dressed if you're wondering. He's a good boy.'

'Okay, that's good. Umm… thanks.'

'Okay…'

'Bye…'

'Peyton?'

'Yes?'

'I was thinking… maybe we should just let them be, you know put it all behind us. If you can get Nathan to forget the whole feud thing? You know let them have the chance at happiness we all never had?'

'Peyton?'

'Yeah… yeah of course.'

'Good, good.'

'Okay then.'

'Okay.'

Click.

Peyton walked up the stairs slowly and peeked into her son's room again. He was lying peacefully, his back facing Eugenia's – both of them fast asleep. In her mind she remembered another night, long ago.

She stumbled in the hotel room, her head was killing her. Rachel had definitely made those drinks too strong – that definitely wasn't just vodka. She collapsed on the bed next to Lucas. He looked at her, smiled and then turned out the light. She lay there, her head splitting her eyes aching but knowing exactly where she was. Not wanting to move, not caring about anything else except the fact that for one night, she got to go to bed without loneliness as her only company.

She closed the door shut and walked off to her room.

In the morning Peyton was making pancakes when Shane rushed in.

'Gotta go Mums early day at school see you soon love you bye!'

'Wait a minute young man,' she called out. 'Get back here.'

He walked back in with an innocent expression on his face.

'Firstly, I took all the trouble to make pancakes this morning so you are going to get in here and eat them without giving me any nonsensical excuses,' she said with a smile. 'Secondly I'd appreciate it if you'd call your girlfriend down because I don't want people saying that I let our guest starve to death.' Shane's mouth dropped wide open. 'Thirdly please ask her to call her godfather because he is worried sick. And lastly you are grounded for 1 month no more sleepovers without running by me or your father first.'

Shane stood there in shock horror.

'Go on then!' Peyton flipped a pancake over onto a plate. 'Hurry up.'

'Mums you are cool,' he said at last running up the stairs.