I got the idea for a field trip like this after I discovered it's like a "Right of Passage" for some fifth graders in Colorado. Don't get to do that kind of thing in Los Angeles…
Timmy's in fifth grade, so I thought, why not?
Disclaimer: I do not own The Fairly OddParents or other relating characters.
Chapter Thirteen: Camping
"Are you absolutely sure you don't want us to go with you?" Anti-Cosmo asked for the millionth time that morning.
"Yes. I told you, I'm fine. Besides, don't you have supreme anti-fairy stuff to do?"
Well, he did, but still. He had chewed Wanda out for not being with her godchild at all times, but he and Anti-Wanda were even worse. They rarely accompanied Timothy to school, or anywhere else for that matter. They tried, but the boy kept insisting he didn't need them.
The boy wasn't all to blame; part of it was his own fault.
Anti-Wanda seemed to get Timothy in a lot of trouble at school, prompting the boy to go alone. Now that Foop was born, even if Timothy did want his godparents with him, they would be too busy.
Foop was a handful. He needed constant supervision, but before that he was still a baby. He needed someone to take care of him.
Don't get him wrong, Anti-Cosmo was happy to see Timothy doing well on his own, but what had bothered him the most was the boy's refusal to make a wish.
Timothy just did not seem to want anything in specific. It was a little unsettling, as Anti-Cosmo knew his godson used to get in trouble with Jorgen for over wishing.
He personally believed it was Timothy's way of holding a grudge against him for taking him away from his original godparents. The boy had never brought it up, or even asked to visit Fairy World. Sometimes Anti-Cosmo wished he had the ability to read minds, then he would really be able to tell what was on the boy's mind.
"Be careful then." Anti-Cosmo waved his wand, sending the child to the human world.
"Oh, my baby's gone!" Anti-Wanda wailed as soon as Timmy was out of sight.
"What am I, chopped liver?" Foop remarked, poking around at the mashed food on his highchair.
"This is going to be so awesome!" Chester cried.
"Alright, you brats, keep it down." Crocker counted each head as it stepped onto the bus. How he would love to make sure a few kids went 'missing', but alas, his paycheck depended on the safe return of all the children.
"Three days without parents! This is too good to be true." Sanjay wiped a tear from his eye. It would be great to take a break from the militaristic rule of his step-father.
"Just us guys roughing it out in the wilderness. We'll finally become real men." Timmy had been looking forward to this trip since he first started school.
Crocker smirked at their youthful optimism. "Enjoy it while you can, everything goes downhill from here." Yes, as soon as elementary school was over, grades would actually matter. If you weren't at the top, you were doomed to a life of servitude to some slave-driver boss.
The kids all stopped their excited chattering to stare at their miserable teacher. This guy was crazy.
AJ, who was not too concerned about his future, continued to spray himself down with mosquito repellent. These bugs were going to suck the lifeblood out of him! He could not wait for this trip to be over.
"Ease up, AJ. You wouldn't want to attract the worst mosquito of all!" Elmer said, nudging the others into joining.
"What are you talking about?" The intelligent child asked.
"Don't you know? The swamp monster at the camp is attracted to the smell of mosquito repellent. It smells like kids' fear." Timmy finished.
"No it doesn't, you guys are just messing with me!" AJ protested. Swamp monsters were not scientifically possible. Looking down in his seat on the bus, he saw something green move underneath him. He screamed, quickly pulling his legs up.
The other boys burst into laughter at their poor friend's reaction.
Chester came crawling out from under the seat with his green flippers in hand. "Aww man, you should have seen the look on your face, AJ."
"That's not funny." AJ crossed his arms, refusing to acknowledge his friends' laughter.
"Welcome to the worst three days of your life!" Crocker shouted at the students. "This is Camp Dimsdale, take a moment to appreciate the scenery."
The forest looked dead, the lake water was murky, and there wasn't a woodland creature in sight.
"Mr. Crocker, where are the cabins?" AJ asked, looking over the grounds to be sure he had not missed them.
"Cabins? Real men don't sleep in cabins. Here you go!" Crocker grabbed a boxed tent and threw it at the poor child, knocking him clear off his feet.
"A tent? How do we set it up?" Chester pulled the box off his friend.
"Here's our first activity of the day! Set up your tent properly or sleep outside! Have fun!" Crocker pulled out a strange beeping device. "I'm going to look for fairies, don't bother me!" He stormed off into the dead woods.
"We can do this!" Timmy tried to stay positive, refusing to let Crocker ruin his fun. "Look here's an instruction manual!" He pulled out the little white booklet from the box and flipped it open. Just his luck. "It's in Swedish? I don't suppose anyone here can read Swedish?"
Silence.
"Alright then, we'll do it the manly way, without instructions." He grabbed two metal rods out of the box and bent them into an unrecognizable shape. "Come on, are we men or are we men?"
The guys cheered, each grabbing a part of the tent and joining in the construction effort.
"Oh look, yet another thing I can fail you on." Crocker examined the hunk of metal that was the tent frame.
After some serious effort, the boys had finally managed to make a triangle shape out of the rods, but with all the wrong parts. It was then they discovered that the tent cover would not go on to the frame. With all the connectors in the wrong places, the fabric had nothing to latch onto, so they settled for throwing it over the metallic mess like a blanket, hoping it would still cover the frame. And it did, until the breeze came by.
"Looks like you'll be sleeping by the fire tonight!" Crocker laughed as he went to examine the other students' tents.
Timmy did not want to lose this field trip to Crocker. "Forget him, we'll just rough it. While he's not looking, let's go for a swim!"
"I'm not so sure about this guys, my readings say this water is radioacti-" Poor AJ found himself floating to the bottom of the lake instantaneously. Someone had pushed him in! He swam back to the surface with a scowl on his face. "Hey, you ruined my purification device!"
"Come one AJ, just enjoy the water." Timmy laughed at his friend. He was worrying too much, besides, it's not like anyone had grown an extra limb…yet, so there was nothing to worry about!
Despite its horrible coloring, the water actually felt great. Not too hot and not too cold. It had been a great idea to sneak away; they had the whole lake to themselves!
The bell from the mess hall rang, announcing the start of dinner.
"I'm starving! Come on let's go get something to eat." Timmy was the first one out of the lake.
They all grabbed their towels, quickly drying off and changing back into their camp wear. They wouldn't want Mr. Crocker to find out they had snuck off.
"Eww, what is that?" Chester asked, staring at the gray lump on his plate.
"That, is dinner! Enjoy!" Crocker laughed, pulling out a sandwich he had packed earlier in the day. He had been teaching for quite a while, there was no way he was going to fall for the mess hall meals again.
"It can't be that bad." Timmy picked up his fork and stabbed at the mass, only to have the fork break in half.
"We're supposed to eat this?" Elmer asked, holding it in his hand. "It's too hard to chew through."
Timmy couldn't deny it anymore, this trip was starting to bum out. In his rage, he picked up his gray lump and threw it at his teacher's head.
The lump made contact with its target, knocking Crocker out.
The students in the hall froze. What were they supposed to do? There were no other chaperones on the trip, yet there was no one to force them into any unwanted activities.
"Gentlemen." Timmy stood up onto the table. "I think this may work very well in our favor."
Anti-Cosmo froze as that feeling crept up to him.
It was the feeling that Timothy was about to do something so inexplicably stupid.
Maybe he should go to the camp and check on the boy. He would be in and out of there within a few minutes, the child would never know.
No, he shouldn't.
He promised the boy that he would not try to help or interfere in anyway. He kept going on about how it would 'make him a man' and that 'it needed to be done alone'. Timothy might get genuinely upset over it.
He sighed, letting it go. Timothy had the most amazing luck; he would find some way to wriggle out of any mess he may have gotten himself into.
"Oh, my head hurts." Crocker raised a hand to his head. Or lowered it. "What the…"
He was hanging upside down from the ceiling.
Great, how did he get up here?
"You little brats! When I get down from here!" Crocker reached to his shoes, trying to see what was holding him up. He swiped at the soles, picking up a gooey substance.
Astro-glue. They had astro-glued his shoes to the ceiling. There was only one fifth-grader who would ever carry around astro-glue. When he got down, AJ would pay!
He untied his laces, loosening his feet from the shoes. He fell onto the messy meal tables in a crumpled heap. Good thing he was anatomically incorrect, or he may have seriously broken something!
Unfortunately, he still took a nasty fall, knocking himself right back unconscious.
Timmy gave a content sigh as he stretched out into his sleeping bag by the fire.
Who needed a tent, the stars were beautiful!
Thank goodness for that awful dinner, they may have never gotten away from Crocker had he not gotten riled up.
Once Crocker was out of the picture they had gone hiking, spelunking, rock climbing, and even hung up someone's boxers on the flagpole!
Yup, today had been an awesome day. He just needed to come up with a way to get the insane teacher off his back for the next two days and this trip would go down in history.
He closed his eyes, letting the cool night breeze brush against his cheeks.
Once the fire died, Anti-Binky stepped out of the dead forest.
Now would be the perfect opportunity to get the kid! There was no one to stop or see him out here, and the best part was Anti-Cosmo would never find out.
He removed the syringe from his pocket, preparing to inject the contents into the boy, but stopped short.
Someone moved!
He quickly flew up into the cover of the trees.
Good thing he had dark skin!
This called for a plan. He would need to lure the boy away in order to make it the perfect crime. He did know that kids got distracted by shiny things; this would be a piece of cake.
Waving his wand, he turned the dead leaves on the tree into fireflies. The little bugs floated down, walking on Timmy's face.
Timmy woke up, feeling the bugs crawling on his face. He immediately swatted, hoping it wasn't a spider (and hoping there wasn't whipped cream in his hands). Luckily, it was just a little bug. Looking around, he noticed the fireflies.
No way! This are never got any fireflies! He immediately jumped up to try and catch one. If he showed the guys when they woke up, they would be so jealous!
Anti-Binky directed the flies to the forest, away from the campsite. He silently followed from the tree tops, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
It came when Timmy finally clasped his hands around a fly.
The dark fairy jumped from the treetops at lightning speed and struck the boy at the back of his head.
Timmy immediately fell unconscious, landing on the floor.
Without wasting any time, Anti-Binky turned the boys arm around and injected the syringe into the child's palm.
The solution would have worked faster had he used a jugular vein, but this way it would seem less suspicious. The tiny hole left behind could easily pass of as a bee sting or a bug bite.
He removed the needle from the kid's hand once it was empty, using his magic to destroy it. "Goodnight, brat. Give my regards to Anti-Cosmo when you wake up."
Oh noez! What has Anti-Binky done?
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