My roommate told me this is her favorite chapter yet (I love you, my co-anime addict). It certainly did just flow out of me, probably because this chapter in particular has been circulating in my head for a very long time, and it's been so great to finally get to the point of all of this as well as redeem Inuyasha for some of his past sins. But I say too much. Please, y'all who might still be reading this one pleasant evening, let me know what you think!

Inuyasha had never bothered to check whether he was going in the right direction, rather as soon as Kikiyo was secure he had simply taken off without thought, his instincts pushing him to move as fast as possible. And move he had, dashing full speed over the hilltops and skillfully weaving in between forest trees, unwilling to waste any precious time with Kagome's safety teetering on the brink. But after two straight hours of traveling without hearing more than a faint sigh-like breathing coming from behind him, he was beginning to wonder just exactly what she knew about Naraku's current whereabouts at all, not to mention that Kagome would have complained about her aching bottom a long time ago. With a twinge of guilt, he realized he'd been waiting for her to say something for a while now. It was strange concept to think he actually missed someone's complaining, that she'd grown that familiar.

Kikiyo seemed indifferent to the idea of a break, but dutifully sat leaning against a large tree trunk staring at the swiftly running water of a nearby stream, seemingly content with waiting until her counterpart was ready to depart again. Inuyasha, on the other hand, who was really in no mood to keep still in the first place, wandered further downstream, his head a swirling of details and emotions, none of which made any sense to him. He had known, somehow, that Kagome wasn't safe in her world, and because he had ignored his own instinct she was now in even more danger. But he'd never been hit with any feeling that strongly before, the suffocating grip that had relentlessly pursued him even into his dreams. The only time that had even compared was the day that Kikiyo had sealed him.

That time it had started as more of a pestering, a nagging voice in his brain telling him to find Kikiyo, to get the jewel. He had tried to ignore it then too, since at that time going anywhere near her or the jewel would have set Kikiyo off in a fit, but no matter what he did his brain couldn't seem to focus on anything else. He couldn't sleep, his appetite was gone, and even the other demons seemed to somehow know to avoid a fight with him until he practically thought he would explode in a psychotic fit. Finally, after fighting it all day, he had gone, giving in to whatever had suddenly possessed his mind, but by then it had been too late. Kikiyo had already been hurt, and all he could save was the jewel, which had all been for naught after she had sealed him to the God Tree.

"How could none of us have seen that it was Kagome that we needed all this time," he stared at his wriggling reflection, "that what we were searching for was right there, searching with us no less. And now I've let all this happen again!"

And as if wasn't feeling guilty enough, with everything else that he should have been focusing on, he couldn't seem to prevent his brain from thinking about the way her dress had hugged against her body, or how that one dark curl had fallen over her eye as she went unconscious, or the way her skin had seemed to shimmer in the night's light. And most particularly how that bastard spawn of Naraku had hugged her to him as he had taken her away, with that cocky smirk of triumph on his face.

He couldn't sit there a moment longer.

"Get up. We gotta keep moving," he called as he marched back towards where Kikiyo sat, but to his further irritation she didn't seem eager to move. "Come on, I need you to tell me where Naraku is. It's just a matter of time before-"

"Sit down Inuyasha," Kikiyo ordered quietly but in a tone that spoke for itself. It was one he recognized immediately. Without a word he obeyed, taking a seat around the curve of the trunk so that they sat shoulder to shoulder but outside of the other's field of vision, neither one shifting to look at the other. After all this time, they still didn't need to, the traces of their fraying bond still effective enough to allow bits of her emotions through to him. There seemed to be a small storm of unease within her too, constantly stirring in a way that mirrored his own, but it was buried far beneath a heavy blanket of exhaustion that spread itself toward him as well, helping him to settle for the moment.

"You're in love with her, you know," he heard her say from somewhere close yet far away at the same time.

Hearing her say those words should have been a shock, but instead he found it reassuring to have all the chaos in his mind identified. "How do you know?" he asked after a moment, his voice accepting and resisting the idea of it all at the same time. He wondered if she could feel it the way he could feel her weariness, like trickles of breeze that were there and gone before the senses even registered its presence. "All these feelings, these impulses that I never seem to understand, they were the same with you too. And because I didn't listen this time either, I've let everything from the past happen all over again! Some damn guardian..."

Kikiyo for a minute couldn't seem to find words. "So you did know…all this time, who you really were."

"Hmh, you really think it was Kaete who convinced me to hunt down all those shards after they'd been broken?" he replied with a hint of irritated amusement. "I would have been just as happy to let Kagome try and find them all herself, but I don't think I would have ever been able to sleep soundly again, not that traveling with that group has been all that much better."

"So all those times that you had tried to steal the jewel…"

"It started out as a cover. No one trying to steal the jewel would expect it was protected by someone who was trying to steal it for himself."

"But why didn't you tell me? How did I never realize?"

"I tried to tell you, in the beginning when I started to realize who you were. But you always so damn insistent on doing everything yourself and you wouldn't let me protect you. But every moment I spent with you, even when we were fighting, it just made me want to be with you more."

She knew exactly what he meant, all those times of trying to ignore his presence, convincing herself that she alone could keep the jewel safe while at the same time urgently being drawn to her counterpart in a way she never fully understood. And just when she had reached the point of accepting it, Naraku had made his move. "It never made sense before. I thought you had no clue who you were, and you kept attacking and making me beat you back while all that time everything in me was saying that you were really there to protect me. I thought I was crazy, that somehow the Shikon had it all wrong, or that I somehow didn't understand what it was telling me. I kept waiting for my guardian, and all it kept giving me was you." There was tension in her voice as she remembered her frustration. "I figured it was testing my will to be its priestess, so I learned to fight for myself, and I was determined not to let my weakness be an excuse to allow the jewel to be in danger."

A small grin crept onto his face, despite himself, and his voice got soft as his mind started wandering in the past as well. "I used to feel my stomach flutter in a strange way when you were fighting. When it first started, I used to run to where you were, and by the time I got there, you always had taken care of things. After a while if I would just stay put for half a minute, it would go away like nothing ever happened. It used to make me wonder what I was even around for, why I kept feeling so drawn to you."

"The more time I spent around you, the more drawn to you I was as well, but my mind kept battling me. And then Naraku caught my hesitation and used it against me."

Bringing up the events of Naraku's treachery brought out a seriousness in him as well. "That day, it was the first time in a long time where that feeling like you were in danger never seemed to go away. But even though it seemed like we were finally getting along like we were supposed to, you still would get mad at me when I tried to fight for you. I used it as an excuse to ignore my own instincts, but it just made the feeling worse, and by the time I finally went it was too late." He paused, hesitant about what he wanted to say next. "I've thought about that day so many times since then. My whole existence was about protecting you and the jewel, and because of my failure, you had to suffer."

Kikiyo just breathed a sigh and leaned forward to rest her chin on her drawn up knees. "That's not all that bothers you about that time, is it."

The next memory caught in his throat, making it hard for him to breathe, and with definite hesitation, he quietly let his confession spill. "When I woke up after being sealed, the first thing I remember was that same sick feeling that you were in danger, and when I opened my eyes, I thought it was you standing there. Except it was her, it was Kagome, and she was the one in danger. If she had waited any longer arguing with me about pulling out that arrow, that centipede demon would've eaten her. I remember feeling like if I let that happen, my whole purpose would become meaningless. So I did, I protected her. And ever since I did, nothing has been the same."

And suddenly he had done it, admitted his complete failure in front of her. Because if he had been there to protect her in the first place, Kikiyo never would have been hurt, never would have died. The jewel never would have ended up with Kagome, and he never would have betrayed his Shikon bond with Kikiyo by bonding with her when she somehow revived him from the God Tree's sleep. The jewel never would have been broken. He never would have made this journey, met his friends, become this powerful. And he never would be sitting here with the woman he was supposed to be in love with admitting that he had somehow fallen in love with the proof that he had failed her at the beginning of this whole mess.

How could a guardian do that to his priestess?

But Kikiyo didn't seem the slightest bit phased by his admitted compulsion to protect Kagome. In fact, she seemed ready to continue on his story. "And you continued to feel that urge to protect her until the day that witch revived me, isn't that right."

He didn't know what to say. "How…did you know that?"

For the first time since he had sat down next to her, Kikiyo turned and faced him. "Your mistakes are not the only ones that have affected what has happened. Now I need to tell you my secret."

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Miroku didn't need any divine visions to predict that his lungs were going to explode if he didn't stop running within the next five seconds. Unfortunately, his fox conscience was right there hanging on his right shoulder, ready to remind him that Kagome was depending on them, and he couldn't bring himself to stop. They had been searching for hours, fighting fatigue and darkness, looking for anything that might lead them to Kagome or Koga, and so far had found nothing but more frustration. He hated to admit it, but he could feel the optimism he'd used so convincingly before with the others depleting along with his stamina, just as everything was becoming critical. He had to do something.

"Shippou, we're going to rest now," he barely managed in an audible tone as he slowed to a stop near a tall cluster of rocks. He collapsed his shoulders against them, rubbing the kinks and cramps out of his muscles as he tried desperately to recover the ability to breathe properly. The wisdom of this plan was shaky at best, but splitting up had been their only option given the situation. With so few options and no outside resources to depend on, it at least allowed them to cover more ground. He could only hope that somehow with Kikiyo's inside knowledge that the two of them could somehow get Kagome back on their own, but somehow that didn't seem too likely either.

What were they going to do? Was everything they had been through all going to be for nothing anyways? Had Naraku been too powerful from the beginning that they had never even had a chance? But they had almost defeated him at the gravesite of Inuyasha's father had it not been for Naraku's narrow escape. In fact, that always seemed to be their setback, being unable to prevent Naraku from escaping. If there was only some way to know his getaway plans ahead of time, or to be able to block it somehow…

He had practically fallen asleep leaning there, unaware of how physically tired he really was, but a sharp tugging at his robes brought him rushing back to cold hard reality and a wide-eyed Shippou who was rapidly shifting his gaze from him to a spot a few hillsides down the road.

"Miroku, there are demons coming," he whimpered, hiding himself inside the folds of his robe.

He was right. Sure enough, just off in the distance he could see the traces of a dust cloud as something was approaching. The hoops on his staff jingled as he tensed, preparing his already tattered body for the possibility of yet another fight, while inside his stomach sank. His eyes fixed on the movement down the road, Miroku held his breath. Could nothing, for once, go easily for them for once? But after only a few seconds he reflexively relaxed and shut his eyes, a smile creeping over his features.

"Don't worry Shippou. For once, something has gone our way."

Shippou blinked a couple more times, eyes straining to focus on what was coming, then broke out in a toothy grin as he recognized Ginta and Hatkagu racing furiously towards them wearing curiously distressed expressions. The pair soon recognized them as well, and came to a screeching halt, panting hard to try and catch their breath. But despite their relief to see a pair of friends, they couldn't help but show their disappointment to see that the pair was minus one important member.

Koga.

"Miroku! Shippou!" Ginta cried happily. "I'm glad we ran into you!"

"You actually saved us the trouble of fining you," Miroku nodded back at the pair. "But where's Koga? Did he get ahead of you?"

"That's why we've been trying to find you! He attacked us! We were just traveling, and then the kid on the horse attacked us."

"We've been tracking the scent so we can follow it to where he's taken Koga," Hatkagu continued. "We were hoping to run into you guys like this. Is Inuyasha around? I don't know if we can handle this on our own."

Damn, so their luck wasn't exactly perfect, and Naraku was moving faster than he had anticipated. Not only did he already have Kagome, but Koga and his jewel shards as well. He quickly prayed that Sango's luck finding Kohaku was better than theirs had been with the wolf demon, then plastered a calm, collected expression on his face. "I think we're all ultimately headed for the same destination. In fact, Inuyasha left before us with Kikiyo, so it's possible he's already there."

"Really? Why? What's going on?"

But Miroku was already on the move, the stakes of the situation growing by the minute. "I'll explain on the way, but right now it's critical that you keep track of that scent." Thankfully, the wolf demons obeyed instantly, happy to have someone giving orders again, and for lack of a better plan the priest took off after them, finding whatever final remnants of energy his body could muster. Obviously Naraku was preparing for his final strike, and his power was greater now than ever before. Everything logical told him that by now their little group had no feasible chance of defeating him, but some small voice still wondered if their greatest, if not only weapon, was that fact that at this point none of them had anything left to lose.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

If he had thought he was confused about everything that was happening to him, Kikiyo had just thrown the equivalent of a massive sucker punch right at him. "What do you mean, your secret? How has any of what happened been your fault?"

"The fact that I'm even here at all already has brought more chaos to this whole situation," Kikiyo replied matter of factly. "You were sealed for fifty years. Kiete told you that I had died. You didn't think she had lied to you, did you?"

"Well, no, but-"

"It doesn't really matter. The fact was that I did die that day, and I did what I had to do to protect the Shikon. By sealing it away within my body and having my remains cremated properly, it was supposed to assure that the jewel would remain untouched by anyone until the next priestess was selected. It was an extreme measure, but with you gone and Naraku still out there, it seemed like my only option at the time. I had no idea that there was going to be such a jump in time before the next priestess was to be selected by the Shikon, or that a bridge between times was forming through the Bone Eater's Well."

It hadn't made any sense to him either at the time, learning about what had happened and even more where Kagome had come from before showing up in his time with the jewel in hand. That had created some turmoil within him too, his mind constantly conflicting as to whether he should be protecting her or taking the jewel away and protecting it himself. "The villagers kept whispering about how she was your reincarnation come back to protect them, but it never seemed right to me."

"It's still unclear to me how the situation became the way it did, but I knew without a doubt that she was a legitimate successor of the Shikon line my very first contact with her, probably before she knew it herself." He could feel the nerves building in her the more she talked about Kagome, a feeling that was so foreign coming from her, but there was also an undercurrent of a need to set things right, making him even more confused.

"I should have left things alone," she continued. "I had sacrificed myself for a reason, and the Shikon had maintained its balance for far longer than either of us had been protecting it."

"I don't get it. What choice did you have in the matter? That witch was the one that forced you back to your body. That idiot should have known better than to try to manipulate a Shikon priestess."

Kikiyo paused, her eyes softening as she observed the obvious confusion worn blatantly on his expression, as if a sudden understanding had just come over her. "So it's true. You really don't know the true circumstances of my revival."

"What was there to know?" he shrugged. "The jewel was in danger. It needed you to fix the damage, so it called you back."

"No, Inuyasha, that's not entirely true. The jewel was threatened by Naraku's constantly increasing power when it was returned to this era through Kagome, that's true, but it had already taken its own protective measures by shattering and spreading across the land, buying time for itself before its full power could be used again by anyone."

That took him by surprise. "You mean it wasn't Kagome's fault that the jewel ended up in pieces?"

"You should know better than anyone how the Shikon uses its chosen without their full understanding," she replied. "It's not the first time it has happened either. Other priestesses have also made journeys to gather the scattered shards of the Shikon."

"So if the jewel didn't call you back, how did you end up involved in all of this?" Inuyasha asked in a rush, trying hard to come to terms with the fact that all his previous conceptions of his journey and, even more, his relationships had been completely misguided up until this point.

"That," Kikiyo said slowly, "requires an understanding of the heritage of the Shikon priestesses. You see, when the Shikon was formed all those years ago to contain all of those demon's auras, its Midoriko, the first priestess knew that the enormous amount of demon energy would only serve as a beacon for more demons looking to increase their own power. She also had the foresight to understand that as time went on, the evil power of those seeking it would only get stronger. So as a countermeasure, as each chosen priestess passed on over time, her power was transferred to the next chosen one through the jewel itself, therefore increasing each one's spiritual power beyond what she could ever accomplish alone. That's why it was so important that Kaete perform the specific rituals in preparing my body with the jewel after I died."

It took him a minute to process. "You mean Kagome's power is actually a collection of all the powers of the Shikon priestesses since the jewel was formed?" he expressed with a hint of bewilderment.

For the first time, Kikiyo broke her gaze, and a sick look seemed to cross her face. "It should be, if I had done what I was supposed to do." She crossed her arms around her stomach, trying to bring herself to go on with her explanation. Instinctively, as a gesture of comfort, Inuyasha brushed the swipe of hair away from her cheek and rested his hand on her shoulder, but it only brought out a little choke as she tried hard to maintain her composure.

What could she have done that was so terrible?

"Oh, Inuyasha," she cried, a single tear finally trickling down her face and falling warm on the top of his finger. "Kagome really is an amazing woman, and I can only wonder what horrors she will have to battle when she finally returns to her time when all this is finally over."

He stared at her, cold and hard, trying to register what Kagome's time had to do with anything they were talking about, much less what could be making the ever stoic priestess he had once loved and protected break down like this. "What do you mean? Kikiyo, what did you do?"

With a deep breath and closed eyes, Kikiyo fought for the strength to tell what she had been hiding for so long. "Kagome's powers have grown a great deal since the beginning of your journey, just as yours have as well, but these powers are her own, a reflection of the strength of her will and her sense of duty to the Shikon that has called her as its next priestess. I would say by now that her spiritual powers have possibly surpassed what my own were when protecting the jewel was my responsibility. And had I been able to overcome my own selfishness that day I was revived, I'm sure Naraku would have been destroyed a long time ago."

And suddenly it was all clear, the magnitude of what Kikiyo had done, like a massive blow straight to his core that spread a cold chill throughout his body. "You mean that…"

"That witch Urasue used Kagome's soul to bring me back, recognizing the quickly developing power that was starting to show within her. Essentially it was her sacrifice that gave me back my life, as well as my powers as a Shikon priestess. Since part of my own soul made up part of the power that should have been inherited by Kagome, it was easy to draw it back to the surface as my own consciousness when it was placed into the body of that clay doll. It also didn't take long to realize what had happened and see who it was that had become my successor. But my mistrust of others is my own demon to battle. I knew in my heart that I should have transfered that power back to her and let her handle the responsibilities that the Shikon had entrusted her with. But instead I saw a weak, strange girl with no understanding of our time or what the Shikon even was and the power it posessed. Eventually as the situation played out her own will and strength drew her soul back to her body, a sign of the strength of her character that I should have recognized, but I wouldn't allow the Shikon's power to be given back, and I kept it from returning to her, thinking that I was far better suited, even if I had to depend on the soul collectors to maintain my strength, to fight back whatever evil threatened the jewel's restoration."

There was a thick silence in the air as Inuyasha finally started to really understand why Kikiyo had been so apprehensive to reveal this information, and also why suddenly Kikiyo had been so interested in finding Kagome. All this time the jewel's true chosen priestess had not only been working at half power, but without the full knowledge of her true responsibilities, or even who she really was. And in turn, he had never known either, torn between his draw towards the call of the power of past priestesses and the new power developing in Kagome, a conflict that had been plaguing him since he had first seen Kikiyo again that night. It wasn't often that information made him dizzy, almost nauseated, the ideas of knowing someone and seeing a complete stranger running circles through his mind. He couldn't say a word, couldn't even raise his head as Kikiyo's sobbing seemed to grow, making it clear that she was also aware of what he had also realized, the other side of the coin, the other important law in regards to the powers associated with the Shikon.

Midoriko had also had the foresight to know that the drive for power was also paired with the tendency to corrupt, even for the protectors of the Shikon itself. So from the beginning of the jewel's existence, as well as that of its royal couple, there had been enacted one specific rule that served as the single governing law in regards to the power of the priestess's guardian, one that served to keep the powers of both in check. So many times he had wondered why his own power had never seemed to be enough at times. Even after acquiring the Tetsusaiga he couldn't seem to draw up quite the level of raw power that he had been able to when with Kikiyo, despite being able to focus it more efficiently through the sword itself, as well as Tetsusaiga's own maturation and growth adding an advantage to his level. Only when Kagome had been in serious danger had his prior levels of power truly shown themselves, sometimes just barely allowing them to narrowly squeeze out of nearly impossible situations. But if what Kikiyo said was true, and she truly had been holding back essentially half of Kagome's true power, then the opposite was true as well.

He had only achieved half of his true potential as well.

This meant that he was potentially able to reach the power he had obtained in his raw demon form, but under the complete control of his own consciousness, his own strict control. This meant that they really might just have a chance against Naraku. But in order for it to all happen, this also meant one other important thing.

That Kikiyo had to die.

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Yes, there, I said it. But you all know she had it coming. Personally, I've wanted to do her in for such a long time, and the true Inuyasha gurusalmost did too, except she had to show back up again like a damn cochroach. Kikiyo lovers beware, there will be none of that here, although she may just redeem herself from being stabbed in the back like she deserves if she continues to behave. Will I be merciful? You'll have to find out...