Okay. I definitely, absolutely, unequivocally did NOT create Saya as a mary-sue. YOU, my dear, have given my writing a WHOLE new passion! (You know who you are 0.o) But I can see where you're coming from, and I appreciate the comment. I'm having a bit 'O trouble giving the characters depth (I'm an editor, not a writer). Anyhoo, thanks for the reviews.

DISCLAIMER: Yeah, I don't own Itachi, Kisame, or any other Naruto junk. It's obvious and well-known, so sue me for bad writing and unoriginality, but DON'T sue me for fraud. Carry on.

"NOOOOO!" Saya gripped her head in frantic anger. How could this have happened?

Where did it all go wrong?

Why was this happening to her?

It was disastrous!

It was unbelievable!

It was absolutely horrid!

Hell, this was the worst nightmare that could have only been conjured by her worst demons!

THERE WAS NO MORE SAKE.

Saya bolted up in a cold sweat, breathing rapid, shallow breaths. She shuddered as her nightmare left taunting screams in her head.

"Saya has no more sake!"

"No more sake for Saya!"

"…..-bear trap."

Wait-What? What about a bear trap?

She shook her head, trying to clear the remnants of the alcohol from her mind. Meekly, she cracked open one eye, and then the other, inspecting her surroundings.

Now, Saya was no extrovert, but she knew a thing or two about countries and their typical scenery. And from the looks of things, she sure as hell wasn't in Shikai village anymore. Her limbs creaked as she sat up to a sitting position, and glanced around. She appeared to be in a thick forest: there were vibrant, tropical flowers on a particularly tall tree in front of her, and to her left was dense undergrowth of what only could belong to the south. She swiveled to her right and discovered a slowly trickling river of pale water, only confirming her assumption: She was much more south than she had previously been.

But what had happened?

As she troubled over this question, her head began to pound with what only could be a hangover. Rubbing her skull, massaging it deeply, she huffed.

Then, suddenly, it hit her. Quite literally: she was suddenly hit up side the head with a foreign object. She fell back violently and hit her head on the pebbled ground.

Okay, God must have it out for her. The criterion, canon, gauge, touchstone, or whatever you wanted to call it, for which she was being punished was much too great! She didn't want to sound cliché, but she felt like she had been hit by a train, thrown into a wall, stuffed into a sewer, and then wrung out, and steam pressed with hot oil…

Okay, maybe not so cliché, but that's still how she felt.

And her effete memory didn't help her any.

She quickly ran a hand up and down her torso as she felt for any signs of nudity.

Okay, so she didn't get laid. That's a plus…I think.

What had she been up to last night? Why was she just hit in the head with a-.

Wait, what had she been hit in the head with?

She ticked her head to her left, where the object had landed, and found it to be none other than a plump, red apple. Snatching up the fruit and steaming mad, she jumped up and lifted the apple into the air, ready to throw it back at the person who had assaulted her.

"Okay, who the hell threw this at me?" She fumed, quickly surveying her surroundings. A chuckle resonated from before her in the brush, and a shadow emerged from the foliage. Big and blue, cloaked in a black cloak specked with red, puffy clouds, was Hoshigake Kisame.

In the flesh. She snipped to herself. She lowered her arm and gripped the apple as the memories from the previous night came washing over her.

Her refusal to an accord on their offer (Or more obviously, demand). Their brief battle, her get-away, and finally her embarrassing capture.

She snorted.

It figured something like that would happen. But then again, she had been too intoxicated to breath right never-mind see. And her passing out only augmented her disdain for the nights events. As she stared down Hoshigake, she idly wondered where the Uchiha was.

" Had a nice nap, onna?" He asked, a snide smirk lifting his lips. Revealed was an array of sharp, pointed teeth that instantly reminded her of where he got his name. She couldn't help but make a face at him as she plopped back down onto the rough ground.

"Would have been better if I hadn't been kidnapped by a pair of jerks." She growled, crossing her legs. "Speaking of which, where's yer friend?" He walked forward, into the small clearing she was situated in, and stopped just before her.

"That's none of your concern." He stated. He walked past her and walked on top of the water. Little waves spread along the smooth, glassy surface of the river in the place where his feet made contact, a small outline of chakra glowing just beneath his soles. "Now that you're awake, we're leaving." She smiled happily.

"Ah! And here I thought you'd actually force me to come along!" She quipped.

"Not so fast, onna. 'We' includes you. Now let's get going." He paused and turned to her, a vicious smirk. "And don't even think of trying to run away. We'll just knock you out and drag you along if you do." Her smile instantly fell into a scowl.

"Come on, at least let me wake up a bit before making me trek along behind you mountain monkeys!" She whined.

"The apple should have been enough of a wake-up call." Twisting her face into an annoyed grimace, she ignored said apple and brushed herself off.

"Not very gentleman like, Hoshigake."

"Whoever said I was a gentleman?" She chuckled and tossed the apple behind her.

"Point taken." She thought for a moment. This moment, though, seemed like a very long time. It seemed, actually, like it lasted several hours.

Saya had realized something she hadn't before, and now that she had, she knew what she had to do. Kisame continued forward, across the wide river, listening for her either running or approaching footsteps. Instead, he heard her solid, serious voice, which rang across the wind. It faintly reminded him of wood chimes.

"Hoshigake-san." A bit surprised, he looked over his shoulder to see the woman standing, arms at her side. Her face was passive as she stared him straight in the eye, unflinching. "I know I can make this hard on you. I can kick and scream. I can trick you and run. I can do a lot of things." She stopped before turning her head. "But I'm not going to."

"Oh?" Her attitude was almost bi-polar. This was why Kisame never really liked women. They were way too wobbly on the emotional scale.

"I'm not going to, but not because I can't. I'll follow you, and do what it is you've called me for. But only because…" Kisame waited for her to continue, but when she stayed silent, he grunted for her attention.

"What, onna?" Her eyes, focused on something far away, snapped back to her surroundings, and she once again met his eyes. However, the serious, sharp shine had faltered, and once again was masked by something else.

"I'll come with you, but only because I expect you to buy me some sake. I'm out of money ." Shrugging, Kisame continued.

"Whatever that means. Now lets get going." Saya watched his back as he walked further across the waters surface.

Was she right in doing this?

She knew what Akatsuki was, though she had given no indication of such knowledge. She wondered whether what she was doing was right., but then again, 'right' was an opinion, a perspective. Maybe this was right, maybe it wasn't. Either way, she was going to follow these men, willingly. Not only because she had nothing better to do, but maybe, just maybe, she could gain from them something she couldn't on her own. She would have to be witty, and on her guard constantly. But if all went well, then perhaps…

She hurried after him, her limbs still stiff from her awkward nights sleep, but she still successfully traveled across the waters surface and fell into pace with him.

Then, out of nowhere, the Uchiha popped out of one of the leafy, over-hanging trees and pounced onto Kisame, dragging him into the river with a splash. Saya stopped, roughly taken off guard, and watched as both men giggled and began a game of splashing one another. Her eyes went as wide as saucers and she frizzled her hair with twitching fingers.

Wait, was she going nuts, or were two, powerful, deadly mercenaries having a girlish moment? Suddenly, both stopped and stared at her, monotone features and voices in harmony as they replied as one.

"No, we're not having a girlish moment. You're just an idiot."

Saya, eyes wide, halted next to Kisame. Her heart was beating, no thumping, in her ears as she gripped her head.

"What is it now, onna?" She looked up to Kisame, who was watching her expectantly. She gasped for a bit of air before hitting herself in the head a few times. Then, bending over, she mumbled to herself.

"Damn, that sake still isn't outta my system…!" The dehydration was definitely getting to her.

Somewhere not too far away, but far enough to make a difference….

"I hate to walk and walk all day. But still I do it, anyway. 'Cause looking is what makes me go. I look for something that just won't show." Fuu sang to herself as she hopped along the cobbled path. Her settings had drastically changed from the dirt forest, to a bamboo garden: organized and well-kept. She knew she was getting closer to her target, she could feel it, she was sure. But still, she was much too far north to even be excited, or at least, to let the anticipation get to her. A few rays of sunlight streaked down through the reeds and onto her pathway, but most of the trees blocked out the rest of the normal world.

As she hopped along, she noticed a presence just a few paces ahead of her, but she wasn't worried. She knew who it was, anyway.

"Hey Yin-chan!" She giggled as she came upon a lone figure, waiting and facing her in the near-distance. The figure was a little girl, no older than seven, and was deathly pale. Her skin shone as if it were made of pure marble or pearl, without pigment of any kind. Her hair matched her skin, as well, and was poker straight all the way to her mid-shoulders.

She wore a small, baby-blue kimono that revealed a thin form, devoid of any child-like plumpness or roundness. But what stood out the most was her glassy, dull violet iris's: They resembled a dolls eyes, for they held no emotion. No shine. No life. Just as her face, which remained completely indifferent.

"Long time no see!" Fuu chirped, and slowed her hop as Yin followed her at a drawling speed. Both girls seemed like complete opposites: While Yin was small and cold looking, Fuu was dressed in vibrant and tropical hakama pants and a blouse, her blonde hair was in a choppy bun and her blue eyes shined even in the shade. She pointed a tanned finger into the air. "Do you sense her near-by?" She asked, withholding as much enthusiasm as she could. She received no answer from the child, but she took that as a yes. "Can you tell me how far?" Keeping her head forward, she answered.

"Indubitably." She replied, her voice monotone and dry. "Five-hundred and twenty-four point three kilometers south, fifty seven and three quarter kilometers east. They have found and apprehended her." Fuu only smiled wider. She then gave a girlish giggle while covering her lips with a fanned palm.

"Why, that only makes it more fun!"

There are never happy endings. Because, as long as you're living, there' s shit going on, and so long as that shit's going on, you're still living. Any number of bad things can happen after a single good thing, and unless you happen to die right after that good thing, there's no happy ending. Even then, your death will surely promote some type of sadness in someone else's life: a mother, a father, a sister, a lover. Regardless, there are sad or mad people about, the world goes on, people die, people deceive, people curse and kill. The ending is definitely not happy.

Saya had a billion chances for a 'happily ever after'. But of course, life went on and it wasn't the end. It was only the beginning of another dilemma, another adventure, another plot or ploy to destroy something or kill someone. It was a never-ending cycle of destruction and rebirth.

And personally, Saya hated it.

But, hell, she dealt with it. She learned a long time ago that her happy ending was a fantasy, just something that she could imagine or dream when she had nothing better to do. But the truth didn't keep her from living; instead, she used this realization to be ready for any misfortune or horror that may come of life. But not only the horror of living as well as the death: She learned how to appreciate all the small things that were easily overlooked.

And that made all the difference.

Still, she could have never predicted that Akatsuki would require her services, whatever that may be. In fact, she was, to say the least, astonished when the members came to collect her. Even as she followed close behind the large, blue man, she pondered what they could possibly gain from her.

Not.

She had an inkling.

She had a guess.

But if it was what she thought it was, she was in a tough spot.

No, Saya didn't have some awesome, major cool kekkei genkai. She didn't have any rare eye-type that could enable her to instantly copy others moves, see through walls, kill in a glance, etc. etc.

She wasn't some prodigious master of some hidden technique that was forbidden among all ninja.

She couldn't call upon any massive chakra reserve (In fact, she almost couldn't use it at all. After an accident in her past, her chakra flow was severely damaged, limiting her to only the basic and most trivial jutsu.).

And she definitely wasn't some demon heiress, powerful and deadly. Hell, she didn't even consider herself all that pretty. A drunk is nothing to flirt with, and is if anything, a turn-off.

But there was one thing she did have. It helped make her career, and enabled her to take advantage of many numerous techniques while she could still utilize them. It assisted her in fight technique as well as simple, everyday chores. It also haunted her everyday of her life. It was a simple, little thing. But also something most people didn't have.

But she wasn't going to dwell on that now.

If that was what Akatsuki was after, or rather, if they were after what she remembered, she could avoid it. She had to. If she didn't, well then….

There were worse things than death.

Weren't there?

Kisame was about as polite as an S-class criminal could get. He cussed on occasion, and resorted to callous methods at times, but for the most part, he was a pretty respectful guy: It was how he was brought up. However, there was one thing that he loved to do, and it wasn't particularly proper.

He had an insatiable appetite for bloodshed.

And at the moment, he was itching to slit that pretty little neck of the woman behind him. And for the record, it was for a just reason.

She wouldn't stop singing.

Okay, so it wasn't like she was pestering him or hounding him with questions as to where they were going.

But that song…..He didn't like to admit it, but it was really creeping him out. It was the same song she had been humming on the beach, and it had a really eerie tune to it. Grinding his teeth, patience wearing thin, he trudged along with her. She was happily skipping at his side, maybe a step or two behind him.

"A day in which she never lives, a day that's never had. A day in which she welcomes home, her lover dressed in clad. Oh what a dearie dragging deep. She festers and she calms. She haunts the shore forevermore, among the swaying palms."

Just as Kisame was about to glare at her, she stopped her tune and they were left in an even eerier silence. "Hoshigake…?"

"Yes?" He answered reluctantly. Now what'd she want? Why couldn't she be a good little kidnapee and be quiet?

"Do you believe in ghosts?" She picked up her step so she walked beside him. As she did, she pulled out a hidden sake bottle from her hakama and took a sip. He barely resisted rolling his eyes. But he was interested by her sudden change of subject, and he couldn't help but answer.

"No. Ghosts are just part of stories to scare small children." He replied. "Why do you ask?" A small, thoughtful smile lifted her lips.

"No reason." She took another sip.