Chapter 16: Take Me or Leave Me
The following morning Sam woke up from the one of the most peaceful, relaxing sleeps she ever had in her life. As soon as she broke things off with Jesse, she walked all the way home and laid on her bed, instantly falling asleep. There was no remorse, no pain etching through her skin. On the contrary it was sizzling, waiting to be touched by another set of hands that she has gone too long without. It was like this day drained her, and with just one night of sleep she felt completely rejuvenated. She felt completely and utterly in need of something (or someone) to hold her, and never let her go. And above all, everything in the world was finally making sense. That, more than anything made her smile as soon as she awoke. She got up, brushed her hair, picked out some clean clothes from the floor and hopped out the window, excited to reach the Bushwell Plaza apartment buildings. She was even more excited than if she were to get in line for getting free Cuttlefish concert tickets.
She walked into the elevator and impatiently pushed the button. It was going slower than any other day she could remember. She breathed in silently, closing her eyes to calm herself down. She was within his reach, but felt as though she was thousands of miles away. She really wanted to see Freddie and be with him, and it was normal to want to be with him now. At least that is what she told herself.
When the elevator doors opened she found herself rushing toward his apartment and knocking loudly. Why was he taking so long to open the door?
"Come on, open up!" She yelled pounding on it again. When the door opened she wanted to rush into his arms but stopped when she saw that it was Mrs. Benson that opened the door, not her adorable dork. "Hey Mrs. B." she said nonchalantly, as she strolled in, not even bothering to ask for permission. Mrs. Benson didn't say anything as she closed the door behind her and walked into the kitchen. Sam walked into the living room and stayed there, unsure whether or not she should ask for permission to go spend time with Freddie. Coming inside her home was one thing, going into her son's room was quite another thing.
"I was just fixing some breakfast for my Freddie." She said, putting a bit more of an emphasis on the word 'my.' Sam didn't notice that she did and just thought it would make everything less awkward if she joined her in the kitchen, the sweet smell of cooking filling her nostrils and making her stomach growl.
"Speaking of the nub," she said, "sorry old habits." She looked at Mrs. Benson raise her eyebrows at the blonde that called her son a nub. Yup, she knew it was going to be awkward, no matter where she was going to be in this apartment. "Where is Freddie?" Sam corrected herself adding a little sarcasm along side her question.
"He's in his room." She said over her shoulder. "You can go in if you like" she spoke softly as she motioned her finger towards his door, and then turned around to resume her cooking. Sam was caught off guard that his mom would actually give her the okay to go into her son's room. He was her whole life, and she was letting her in. But either way Sam thought nothing of it and nodded; leaving the delicious smelling food to go into the bedroom that she always loved going into.
When she opened the door, she saw Freddie on his computer, looking at something that had prices on it. But her focus was strayed. As strange as it sounded, she only could keep her eyes on him. She stared at his long neck, the way his hands moved along the keyboard, the sinews that traced up on arms and into his t-shirt. She hadn't been with him in so long; those hands that she loved so much when he would grab her, pull her closer, and never let her go without that sad look on his face. But most of all, she couldn't keep her eyes off his lips, tight lipped as his deep brown eyes stayed concentrated on his screen. He seemed really into what he was doing as Sam slipped inside his room very silently, unaware that the door opened and she stayed there, pressing it lightly back to how it was before.
"Hey dork. What ya doin?" Sam said as she walked inside his room. Freddie quickly turned from the screen, hearing her voice and saw her as she closed his door, that same devious smile from last night creeping up her face. He too smiled and turned off the monitor to his computer and got up to wrap his arms around her and kiss her seductively. She breathed him in as he did so, remembering how he would always do this when he went so long without seeing her. She grabbed him tighter but he pulled away from her slowly, leaning his forehead against hers as she slowly tugged at his shirt, motioning that she wanted him to take it off. Instead of complying with her demands, he brought his hands up to his collar to calm her own small ones, enclosing them in his big ones and kissing them. Sam leaned back against the door and wished he would continue touching her, or kissing her. She wanted something from him, anything.
"Not now Sam. My mom is home." He explained. She gave him a pouty look that he just wanted to wipe off with his kisses and so much more. She pulled herself from the door and walked around his room.
"I forgot that your mom doesn't know about us." She giggled adorably, and Freddie felt himself blush. He didn't know that she could act like such a girly girl, but here she was, like a young girl in love and in the open. It was, in sense refreshing. Like there were no secrets within her. And he wanted no secrets between them either. So Freddie pulled a bit away, ready to let her in on a secret that his mother kept from both of them for so long.
"Actually she's known about us for a while." Freddie explained. When Sam shot him a confused look he continued, a look of guilt on his face. But he didn't really know why. "She saw you in my room a while back. She put two and two together." He told her. Sam felt her cheeks begin to redden. She didn't think that Freddie's mom would know about them. And now, it was revealed that she was in on the loop of their secret affairs without letting any of them know about it. Well, without letting her learn about it.
"Like how long ago?" she asked.
"Since sophomore year." He admitted. She didn't look mad, but rather she looked surprised. Then out of nowhere he heard her let out a stifled laugh. "What is it?" he said, catching her laughter with a short chuckle himself. It was contagious to see her this happy. She was in a state of bliss, and on top of that, she seemed serenely at peace with everything going on around her.
"I always thought she caught me that one day. But I always thought I was too stealthy for her. Looks like I was wrong." She said, walking towards his bed, and sitting down. She eyed him and patted the side of the bed for him to sit beside her but Freddie instead grabbed his computer chair and sat down there hunching himself forward so that he was making eye contact with her. Sam looked offended, but with a playful smile on her face. "What the hell Fredlumps?" she said, getting up and walking up to him, more emphasis on the sway of her hips.
"My mom is outside in that room." He whispered, his hands put together and pointing toward the door. "If I sit down next to you, believe me when I say I won't have the restraint to not kiss you," he paused and gave her a once over, "among other things." But Sam wouldn't take no for an answer. He sat back on his chair, as she was getting closer to him. Sam's smile that he loved so much returned and she climbed on top of him. She fit perfectly as she slid down, just like his hands did as he placed them on both sides of her hips to keep her steady so she wouldn't accidently fall off.
"Well, what's wrong with that?" she whispered softly back to him as her hands slowly touched his hair and neck, making the goose bumps rise on the back of his head. "She still doesn't think her Freddie dear is a virgin does she?" she silently kissed the nape of his neck, making him close his eyes in delight. When she brought her lips up to his own, he felt a pressure begin to rise in his lower regions. God, she could turn him on in an instant. He gently grabbed her and kissed her lips, opening his mouth to let his tongue press against her lips, begging for entrance into her own. She obliged, letting his tongue roam all around as she too explored his own mouth with her tongue. She pulled away from him and he took this opportunity to kiss down her throat, stopping at her collarbone to bite it and lick it sensually. Sam felt her core begin to become damp and she felt her body react quickly to him.
She let her hands roam around his hair, massaging his scalp as he continued to nibble on her sweet spot, closing her eyes as if she was being loved in a dream. But she wasn't, she was being loved in real life, where he was hers and she was his.
"Freddie…" she spoke his name so sensually, that Freddie pulled away and saw her blue heavily lidded eyes stare straight at his own brown ones, filled with the same passion that she possessed. His hands slithered under her shirt, tracing little shapes among her stomach that made Sam give a short and silent giggle, but all at the same time it sounded oh so sexy to Freddie's ears.
"FREDDIE!" Mrs. Benson's voice rang through out the apartment that Sam and Freddie pulled away from each other and backed away to the other sides of the room; Sam against the closet door and Freddie in his chair by the bathroom door. "Breakfast!" she made both lovers reach a panic of being caught (something that was all too familiar) and take a deep breath in reassurance that she was not going to come in. After a quick breath, Freddie got up from his chair to calm himself from the tiny shock that overcame him just a moment ago and approached the blonde headed beauty that was waiting for him to come to her. He was so predictable, she thought.
"Wanna go eat?" Freddie asked, even though he already knew the answer.
"Momma gets dibs on the bacon." She said as she opened the door and rushed to the kitchen, where Mrs. Benson served two plates full of food and placed them on the table.
"Sam, won't you join us?" she said as she pulled out another plate. Sam eyed her suspiciously. At first, being in front of the woman that knew all about what she and her son were doing all this time made Sam feel more than uncomfortable, but the food looked delicious, smelled delectable, and the tension she thought she was going to feel from this situation faded almost as soon as it appeared. She began eating as appropriately as she thought she could, but the look on Mrs. Benson's face told her that she was not doing such a good job at it. She looked down on her plate and saw that her food was sprawled everywhere. Pieces of eggs were on the edge of the table, and when she touched her cheek, she felt a piece of bacon. But everything was so good, and having a home cooked meal was rare for her. Plus, manners at the table were never her forte. But after a while, she would look up and see Mrs. Benson eating her own food, ignoring the mess she was making. By the time Sam began devouring her pancakes, Mrs. Benson turned to her son and started talking to him.
"So did you manage to get the tickets?" she asked him. Freddie eyed her and shot a quick look at Sam as well.
"Yeah." He answered shortly. When he didn't go on, Sam couldn't help but wonder what kind of tickets he was talking about.
"What tickets?" she asked, placing another morsel of Mrs. Benson's cooking into her mouth. Freddie took a big gulp from his mother's organic freshly squeezed orange juice and placed it back down, clearing his throat.
"Tickets to Boston." He said, without looking at her. At first, he pictured her confused face, possibly knowing that she would not understand why he would want tickets to go to Boston. Then, he thought that she would have an angry face and demand why he needed tickets to go to Boston. He hoped it when he would get the chance to explain everything, it would be the first one and not the latter.
"You see, Freddie here got a call from a company up in Boston," his mom began explaining, much to his dismay "and he needs to go up for an interview, which he is bound to get because he worked hard all through school. He deserves this chance." She finished, reaching over and lightly patting his hand. Freddie turned to his mom, wishing she didn't say anything about this, but now it was all out in the open. But he knew why she would say anything about it: she was proud of her son, but this could have possibly been the worst way to show it. As soon as Sam slammed the silverware in her hands on the plate making his mother and him jump, he knew this was not good news to her ears, no matter how happy his mother would be.
"Boston?" Sam said through clenched teeth. "A fucking company in Boston?"
"Sam, let's talk about this." He tried reasoning, trying to make her not make a scene in front of his mom.
"Yeah Fredbag, lets." She insulted him. "When the hell were you going to tell me about this chizz?"
"Freddie…" his mother began.
"Wait a minute there Marissa." Sam cut her off. "This is about me and your lump of a son." She said.
"Sam, I know this doesn't seem like a good idea to you but-"
"Mom, don't." This time Freddie stopped her. He knew his mom had nothing to do with this fight. Not to mention she was no match for the wrath that was Samantha Puckett. He went to Sam and quietly asked her to go out into the hallway. She looked rampant, but he knew how to tame her. With calming words, reassuring kisses, soft touches. But that was if she would let him get near enough to touch her. She pulled away from him but did as he wished, walking out towards the door, so they could have some privacy.
"And here I thought all the secrets were done once you told me about your mom knowing about us. What else don't I know about you Freddifer? You have a dog somewhere locked in your closet? Secret girlfriend? Or maybe even a love child?" Sarcastic insult after insult she was throwing at him, but his strong outer shell made him immune to all that and more.
"I just got the call yesterday Sam. I was gonna tell you today, once everything got finalized with the tickets and other stuff." He told her. He saw the way she was taking everything in, how her look of panic was slowly fading, and a look of remorse started appearing. She hated how she would always jump to assumptions, and here she was, all her suspicions gone awry. Freddie brought her into his arms and cradled her, not caring that she wasn't returning the hug. She always wanted to act tough, he thought, but inwardly he knew that she was nothing more than a scared child. "I want you to come with me." He said, inhaling her smell of lavenders and bacon grease.
"What are you talking about Freddie?" she said. Leaving to Boston, a place she has never set foot in was something to which she was not comfortable with. "Leaving Seattle? Like Carly?" Automatically her thoughts went to everyone here: Spencer, Melanie, even her mother. Sure, it was not that many people that they were going to leave behind, but nonetheless, those feelings of abandonment was something Sam knew all too well. And the last thing that she would ever want is to do that to another person. He was asking for too much, she thought.
"Being with me," he said, his hands grabbing her face as he said. She pulled away from him, a scared expression on her face.
"Freddie…I can't. I never wanted to leave Seattle no matter how bad I would have it here." She admitted. "I never wanted to leave. If I did, I would have joined you into going off to an out of state college."
"But this is something different Sam, this is something new."
"Who said I wanted something new?" she questioned him.
"What we can have is something new."
"Like I said, who the fuck said I wanted something new?" she began pulling away from him, but his grip was strong.
"I want you to go with me Sam. Come with me to Boston. Take in the sights, see the place, and try to adjust. We can at least try. You have to give me that." She shook her head.
"I don't want to sacrifice anything we have. Moving away to somewhere I don't know is asking too much for me."
"Sam, I have never asked anything from you-"
"You asked me to break things off with Jesse." She reminded him. "That's a big sacrifice on my half, because I cared for him-"
"You chose it either way! You had to! I couldn't make that decision for you!" He walked around in the hall. "Goddammit Sam, you aren't a kid anymore. We all have to move on with our lives. I want to move on with you, but you still want to be here like a baby." He told her. It was true. She was acting like a spoiled child that was getting her toy taken away, and Freddie didn't want to deal with that. He needed to make her see that they were no longer fifteen years old. They were adults, in the prime of their lives to take the next step, which he was ready to. He realized however that she needed that push to move on. And if Boston would do it then that's what he would do.
"That's not true!" she said. "Momma aint no baby. I just don't want to leave!" she said. She may have been saying that, but anyone could see that she was acting every bit of a child, whining to try to get her way. Freddie closed his eyes, trying to find a way to make her see that this change could be good, if she would be willing to take that chance.
"Sam," he started, but was quickly cut off.
"No, you can leave to Boston. I aint gonna go." She said as she started walking away from him. "Have fun." She heard him give a small sigh.
"Why must you be so difficult Puckett?" He asked himself. She stopped mid-step and walked back towards him.
"Because you are a dick Benson. Who always was, and always will be thinking about yourself." She took one last look at him, before deciding that going down the stairs would be a better choice on an otherwise perfect sunny day.
A/N: I was supposed to post this on Thursday, but with family, friends and parties in the summer it's hard to stay committed. So for that I am sorry. As for the chapter I hope you like it, (I been up for a while writing it) and please leave me a review!
Anonymous Reviews have been enabled! So anyone can leave me a review! Until next time! :)