Chapter Four

VEGAS

Nick thought everyone had arrived that could make it when there was a sharp knock on his door. He excused himself from the conversation he was having with Grissom to answer the door. Opening it, he found Jim standing there holding a brown bag.

"Glad you could make it, Brass man," Nick said as they briefly shook hands.

"I brought something to ward off the chilly night air," Brass said, handing the bag to Nick.

"It's not chilly, Jim, being May," Nick observed with a faint smile.

"Yeah, whatever," Brass grunted.

"Come on in," Nick opened the door wide.

Brass was warmly greeted by Grissom and the rest of the team. Also present was Doc Robbins, the lab rat crew of Hodges, Wendy, Mandy, Bobby and Henry, and even Ecklie. He observed the absence of Tina, Warrick's ex-wife, who must have her reasons for declining Nick's invitation.

Catherine wrapped him up in a long hug as he felt her moist cheek press to his while he heard her faint sniffles. Poor kid, he thought, she was trying so hard to keep it all in. He knew she'd had certain feelings for Warrick that were never realized. His take was that once Warrick's divorce had been final that Catherine had viewed the future with optimism to see what might occur. Fate was cruel he concluded while he kept a comforting arm around her waist as she welcomed his quiet support.

"The swing shift is taking our calls for tonight and tomorrow," Grissom commented to Catherine and Brass.

"Your night crew's been there for them more than once, it was a favor ready to be returned," Jim said, as Sara came over to join them.

"Jim, good to see you," she hugged him briefly.

"Wish it were under better circumstances," Brass allowed.

"Everyone, thanks for coming tonight to honor Warrick. I'll be the first to say I've never been to a wake and I'm sure I'm not doing this right. I'd like us to have a time to share good stories, funny times we've all had with Warrick, drink to his honor and memory before we meet again tomorrow to tell him goodbye," Nick said to the crowded living room.

"You're doing fine, Nick," Grissom assured him.

"I've got tunes to go that Warrick liked so we'll be hearing everything from jazz to bluesy gospel," Nick said as he put in a new CD in to play. "This song was recommended to me and when I heard it I knew it was right for tonight, even though I'm pretty sure Warrick didn't dig the group I don't think he'd mind."

Everyone found a seat to listen to the song Nick had chosen.

"If Today Was Your Last Day"

"My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day"

Jim heard Catherine's sharp intake of breath as he glanced her way. She lowered her face but he saw a tear track down each cheek. He grasped her hand supportively and she squeezed back gratefully.

"Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day."

Sara was also fighting back tears as she listened, Grissom's fingers interlaced with hers. She was struck again by the conversation they'd shared when he'd gone into his office to find her there. Sara knew how grateful Grissom was to have her there to support and comfort him which the others could only do in a limited way. After Sara had encouraged him to tell her, her heart had broken when Grissom had described the trauma of Warrick dying in his arms, the blood soaking his shirt, seeing the light in Warrick's eyes dim and fade as the soul of his friend and protégé slipped away. The shattering truth of it and that he was unable to do more than be sure Warrick knew he wasn't alone.

"If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side.
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day."

Brass felt the words thudding home also, seeing parts of his life throughout the song. He closed his eyes as memories of Ellie, Annie, Ann-Marie, Officer Bell, and even Willie Cutler flooded his mind. The little voice that persisted in saying he was tired of being alone and whispering to try again.

As the song ended, Nick received comments from the group of approval.

"Nick, where'd you find that tune?" Greg was curious. "It makes you think, man."

"A friend recommended it," Nick replied as he placed another CD with miscellaneous music he'd burned to play for the rest of the evening.

"Who?" Greg persisted.

"You know, Iris, who visited me last year," Nick added.

"Iris, the CSI from Dallas?" Jim chimed in on the conversation.

"Yeah, you, Sara and Grissom missed out seeing her since you guys were up at Tahoe on the Coronado Blue homicide since it involved the Vegas and Tahoe police and crime labs," Nick nodded.

"Right, she was really bummed about missing the chance to meet Grissom," Greg recalled.

"My loss too I guess," Jim shrugged.

"If she ever comes back to visit, you'll get introduced," Nick promised.

"Don't have matchmaking on your mind, Stokes, I do okay on my own," Brass shot back.

"Your rep's safe with me," Nick said with an upraised hand.

"Come on, Jim, take a seat," Sara pulled him by the arm to sit by her.

"Boss, you mind steering the ship? I'm gonna go pour us something to raise our glasses with," Nick jerked his thumb toward the kitchen and took Brass' brown bag with him.

Grissom nodded and went by the fireplace. "We'll be toasting our good friend here in a moment. Let's go around the room and each of us can share a thought on Warrick."

Humorous incidents were recalled by each person with resultant chuckles and smiles. Nick stepped out of the kitchen to speak up.

"I'll never forget a conversation Warrick and I had. I said something like just 'cause I've been on a personal losing streak with the ladies doesn't mean you should be, too. Warrick replied he didn't even know if he was going there and the odds haven't gone my way in a long time. I said I was talking about chicks, not gambling. He said same difference. Man, did he ever have it right!" He then brought out a tray of shot glasses filled with what Brass had brought. Nick's story caused nods and smiles around the room. Nick and Warrick had been tight friends and more like brothers in many ways.

It was now Brass' turn and he struggled with what to say, the feeling of guilt washing over him anew. "Look, you all know that Warrick and I had a bumpy association but over the last few years things had smoothed out between us. I was hopeful that things were going to go his way. It's just always going to be with me that the last thing I told Warrick was I hoped he remembered how lucky he was." And he would always keep it to himself that only Warrick had known the fact that Ellie wasn't his daughter. To Warrick's credit, he knew how to keep a confidence.

Catherine slipped a supportive arm around his waist. "He knew how you meant it, Jim, let it go."

Jim gave her a faint smile and it eased his heart somewhat.

"Griss, you're always the man with the word, can you give us what we need to toast Warrick by?" Nick asked quietly.

Grissom's eyes took on a misty appearance as he thought several moments. He had to clear his voice but it still had a thick quality as he began: "Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Everything remains as it was. The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no sorrow in your tone. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effort. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before only better; infinitely happier and forever. How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again. To Warrick, our friend, our brother."

The glasses were raised in unison and drained.

"What's that from?" Hodges asked.

"A sermon given by Henry Scott Holland," Grissom acknowledged.

"Classy words, Gil," Brass said.

The rest of the evening passed in companionable exchanges of other recollections they all shared about Warrick.

DALLAS

Iris usually had no trouble waking up and getting going, but today her eyes still felt heavy as if she hadn't slept a wink. Her feet felt like lead weights as she got out of bed with a groan. It was getting worse each day going into work, something she generally looked forward to. Her final admission to herself that things weren't normal now and hadn't been for months came with talking to Nick. She'd kept her promise to him though in getting rid of Max's letters by sending them to the psychiatrist caring for Max at North Texas State Hospital with the request that any future letters of Max's to her be routed directly to that clinician as well. It was a dark chapter in her life she wanted closed and Nick's recommendation had spurred her to take the first step, but where this journey might take her she wasn't sure.

Her mind shifted gears from that subject to the other one just as close to her heart. Whenever Warrick's funeral was going to be, she knew Nick and his teammates were going to have a trying time ahead. She'd be sending out those little flapjack prayers frequently. While Iris had gotten to meet most of Nick's coworkers when she'd gone to visit Vegas on that whirlwind weekend, she regretted still not having been able to meet the renowned Gil Grissom who she greatly admired. She hoped they would have a comforting peace that some would have sooner than others.

She took her dogs for a brisk walk before the heat of the day, showered, and headed out to her Ford Excursion to go to work. The diesel engine roared to life and then she backed out of the condo's driveway. While she still worked in Dallas, after David's death she'd opted some years ago to move north about 30 minutes to one of the outlying suburb towns. Staying in the same house she'd shared with David made her realize it had never been a home, so after paying it off she'd donated it to a local women's organization so it could be used to as a shelter for women fleeing domestic abuse. To her the house could then serve others in greater need. The condo's owner was a friend at her church so the rent was reasonable. She didn't want to buy again because she didn't want an attachment to any place. It was where she laid her head down at night for the most part, but it was at least arranged the way she had wanted finally. For those that had ever gone to the house she'd had with David, when one walked in it was how he wanted it furnished and decorated, and any of Iris' touches had been subtle so as not to clash with David's preferences.

After arriving to the main DPD building that housed the crime lab department, Iris parked the big SUV and mentally prepared herself to go in. She was getting along okay with the swing team and its supervisor, but like the graveyard team there wasn't the feeling of cohesiveness Iris wished there was. Everyone was anxious to get their work time over with and then leave. No effort was ever made to get to know one another beyond the ties of work. Her efforts to have the team and their families, spouses or significant others to get together to even simply bowl or go to a movie had been politely but firmly declined. The one thing she could do that the rest of the team was guaranteed to embrace was have one of her spreads that she brought to the crime lab break room.

Stepping out of the Excursion, she looked up at the mid-afternoon Texas sky, no clouds, and a hazy blue for the red ozone air quality day it was warned to be on the radio. The sun was warm on her face as she closed her eyes. Her heart sent out a silent plea for change as the rest of her went inside.