The Pink Ribbon That He Untied

a Hey Arnold fanfic by Pyrex Shards

pre-read by Lord Malachite

H A H A H A H A H A

"If you don't even know what being in my arms means to you, then it won't work. I'm sorry Arnold. If it's any consolation, Football Head, I've given you the key. You just don't know how to use it yet. You'll always have a chance with me because I love you, and I wouldn't give you any less."

"Helga. Wait."

"What? Make it snappy, I have places to be."

"When we made out, and you took your shirt off, you asked me what I was thinking. I was kind of avoiding the answer because when you asked me, I suddenly felt ashamed of what I was doing to you. Like I was using you."

"Don't be ashamed. If I didn't want you to touch me with your grubby little hands like you did, I wouldn't have let you."

"Okay but, the answer. Now, when I close my eyes. I see you."

"Then welcome to the hell I've been in since preschool, bucko."

The door closed, separating Arnold from Helga, and the elevator sprang to life.

Arnold whispered. "Please don't do this."

He didn't know if Helga had heard his plea. He was pretty sure she hadn't. The elevator door was squeaky, the entire elevator rattled as it began its assent towards the second floor of the library. It was one of those hydraulic elevators and he could hear the sounds of a pump below his feet, working to separate him from Helga.

He beat against the side panel with his fist and swore in frustration, and another tear fell to his cheek. He felt trapped. He hovered his finger over the grungy button marked '1.' But he realized it would be futile. The elevator would take way too long. She'd be gone.

He kept his fingertip touching the button for the first floor, even when he heard the elevator bell, and the door opened, bathing the elevator in bright florescent light from the hallway. Helga had planned this and Arnold knew it.

The teen stepped off of the elevator and looked around, then sighed in relief. It hadn't been Helga's plan to embarrass him or anything. The elevator shared the hallway with two bathroom doors, a door that said 'exit,' and a dingy looking water fountain.

Arnold walked through the exit door and looked around. There wasn't anyone around the aisles of books he could see, so he made his way silently to the stairs that would lead him to the first floor, and out of the library the proper way, through the front entrance.

While he walked, he could feel his heart in panic like a lost puppy, cowering in a corner of his ribcage against his lungs, and occasionally a silent whimper would escape his mouth in a hot, crying breath. He had never, in a million years, thought that women were capable of having this effect on men.

He had never even considered it…

…And now he knew.

H A H A H A H A H A

One year later…

Arnold walked down the long main hallway of the Hillwood Gallery Mall. All around him were the typical mall sights and sounds. There was a sea of humanity, out for a Saturday afternoon of shopping. One of the more materialistic traditions of the American experience, and he was in the thick of it all, on the second floor to be precise, alongside the railing that overlooked the first floor, and the equal number of people who milled about below.

In one hand he held a pink Sanrio bag. In the other he held a gray and black bag from some fashion store. He wasn't even about to pronounce the name. Every now and then a fellow male passerby would look at him with some sort of sympathy. Usually these men would be carrying something similar while their wives or girlfriends would be beside them, looking around.

This was the most perfect, textbook example of what had become known throughout the centuries as shopping.

To be fair to Arnold, he wasn't walking around the mall alone with a pink bag in his hands. No. This day he had a companion. A friend and classmate with striking auburn hair, captivating green eyes, a milky complexion, and the cutest chocolate freckles he had ever seen. He was walking around Hillwood Mall with none other than Lila Sawyer.

She walked beside him to his right, away from the railing. They were silent as they walked. Arnold didn't mind though. Being at the mall with Lila meant moments of "ever so certains," punctuated with cute laughs, pretty smiles, and polite P's and Q's. He had always known Lila to be polite company, and so these moments of silence while walking along to their next shopping destination weren't too shabby.

How else would he be able to handle a shopping excursion with the force that was Lila Sawyer, without being able to take time out to think of Helga Pataki?

Outwardly Arnold continued to smile, while every so often Lila would say "excuse me" as she made her way past another group of people, only fall into step beside Arnold once more as they walked.

Inside, however, he was a different story.

He could hardly believe a year had passed. It only felt like weeks, since that encounter at the library. One single week with Helga had colored his life so much that even a year later Helga was one of the primary topics on his mind.

Arnold looked out over the first floor below them, and in his mind's eye he imagined Helga down there walking along with him, like he was with Lila.

Absence didn't just make the heart grow fonder. Arnold glanced over at Lila and caught the profile of her face. She noticed him, looked over, and smiled. "I'm having so much fun Arnold. Thank you so much for coming to the mall with me."

Arnold blushed slightly and shook his head. "It's no problem Lila. You need someone to carry these bags for you."

It was a dry joke Arnold had to admit. In fact it was pretty stupid. Perhaps he was flirting some. Lila's pretty green eyes had always had that effect on him. Those same eyes sparkled as Lila giggled and said "Oh Arnold… You're such a gentleman."

Arnold smiled back at her then looked at the ground as they continued to walk. He was berating himself on the inside. He imagined Helga yelling "criminey" and picking on him for what he had just said. The funny thing was that he wished she would.

Oh how he wished Helga would just appear in his life again and yell at him, or push him, or hold him, or kiss him. Anything at all, instead of this silence that he got from her ever since he stepped off of that elevator and onto the second floor of Hillwood library.

He felt like he had been forced into another chapter of his life, and that he wasn't ready. He didn't have Helga along with him like he felt she should be.

Helga had said Arnold had the key. She would always give him a second chance, a third chance, a fourth chance, because she loved him.

They'd see each other at school and she'd turn and walk the other way, or she'd walk right past him and ignore him. In history class she stopped sitting right behind him, and instead sat in the front row, always off to one side so that Arnold couldn't help but see her when he looked towards the front. He'd always find himself looking at her neck, or her hair, or her jeans. He'd find himself daydreaming and memorizing everything about the way she looked.

She'd talk in the class and he'd listen to her intently, his mind always silently complementing her intelligence.

He daydreamed about her. In his writing assignments for English he'd always compare his work to Helga's poetry, and judge his own work unworthy. When playing basketball with Gerald he'd imagine Helga there watching him, so he'd do his best to beat Gerald all the while imagining Helga cheering him on. And even in his more private moments he thought of her.

And Helga always managed to keep her hold on him. She continued wearing bows in her hair throughout the year. He knew that was a sign to him, it had to have been, since he knew what the bow was about. He would be more worried if she no longer wore the bow. He knew she loved him.

Helga was playing hard to get, and she had turned out to be a pro. Even on the last day of school, with the prospect of a long summer without seeing her weighing down on Arnold's head, Helga had come to school with a very loose t-shirt on. And during the history class, she came in while Arnold had already been seated. Then she just happened to notice that she had a shoe lace untied, placed her foot on the seat of her chair, faced Arnold's general direction, bent over to tie her shoe, and…

"Oh Arnold, I'd just love to go in that store just ever so much." Lila's voice broke through Arnold's thoughts and he stopped. He turned around to see Lila already heading into the store.

He looked up at the sign and read aloud "Southern Belle." He smiled. Of course, Lila fit that description, why not.

Lila stopped and turned around to look at Arnold questioningly when she noticed he hadn't joined her.

"I think I'll just wait this one out." Arnold answered Lila's silent question. "You go on ahead."

"Okay Arnold. I won't be too long." Lila said politely and turned around.

Arnold watched her go in. 'About thirty minutes.' Arnold smiled to himself. Lila had proven herself to be a very adept and thorough shopper. He had lost count of the numbers of circular racks with dresses, jeans, shirts, skirts, and even swimsuits that he had orbited along with Lila. One bonus was that Lila would ask his opinion of some outfits after trying them on in the dressing room. He had even managed to influence the purchase of one green dress, and a two-piece swimsuit, but his mind always forced him to imagine what Helga would look like wearing them too, as if it was some sort of defense mechanism against Lila.

Other than questioning his absolute refusal to walk into a Pink Store with her, Lila seemed okay with letting Arnold wait a store out every now and then just to take a breather. He brought his hand to his head as he looked out over the first floor again, watched the people, and paid close attention to the blonde women lest he miss the one that turned out to be Helga.

Helga…

Helga…

Helga…

Arnold leaned against the painted metal railing and looked straight down. There was a little pool of water below surrounded by a few fake plants. It even had some koi in it. Two small African American children, brother and sister, were throwing fish food in and giggling at the happily flinching fish, while their parents and someone who looked like a mall employee watched and smiled, and talked to each other about something that drowned out against the noise of the hundreds of other conversations that echoed through the mall.

What would Helga think of him right then if she knew what he was trying to do? But he had to take control of this… This…

He shook his head and closed his eyes. He was obsessed with Helga Pataki.

Truth was, of all the attention that Helga drew from him, she never reciprocated in kind. In the course of a year, she hadn't said a single word to him. She hadn't acknowledged his presence other than to hold a door for him once, and even then when he tried to start a conversation with her, she just happened to spot Phoebe and yell for her friend to wait up.

It had gotten so bad that it hurt. It was so bad that Arnold kept a picture of Helga in his wallet and looked at it when he felt at his lowest. He would press a finger against that picture, imagining that for the picture to exist, it had to be close to the film that was in the camera that was close enough to Helga to take the picture. It was a stretch, but it was all he could do to keep himself sane.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, he decided that perhaps he needed to escape his obsession. Instead he decided to do something else. He turned around and looked into the Southern Belle store. He spied Lila taking a yellow sundress off of a rack. She looked it over then held it up to herself and examined her reflection in a nearby mirror.

He chose today to ask Lila to go to the mall with him, for a good reason. He just hadn't found the time yet, and he was running out of time. It had been years since they'd last had something close to a relationship, and now that they were sophomores, perhaps she'd be receptive to trying Arnold out as a boyfriend. It wouldn't hurt.

Would it?

Arnold smirked. He would do anything to get rid of this damned obsession. It would hurt Helga to see him with Lila, but he needed to find peace with his mind once more, and regardless of whatever "key" Helga said he possessed, she had no right to do this to him. He despised her for the torment that she put him through…

And yet…

"I'm sorry I made you wait so long." Lila's voice snapped Arnold out of his thought-filled trance.

He looked at Lila and feigned a smile. His chances to ask were getting fewer and fewer. "Don't worry about it." He realized she didn't have any new bags with her. "You didn't get anything?"

"Oh… No." Lila shook her head then started walking while Arnold followed beside her. "There wasn't anything in there that I liked."

Lila? Southern Belle store? Didn't like anything? "I thought for sure you were going to buy that yellow sun dress. You'd look good in it."

"Oh, That thing?" Arnold could see Lila look down to her shoes. "Yellow isn't my favorite color."

"I still think you'd look good in it."

Lila looked over at Arnold and paused for a second. "You really think so?"

"Well…" Arnold drew out the word while he thought. Was this the time? "Yes. I really think so." He smiled.

A blush tinged Lila's cheeks and she stopped to look at Arnold. "That's just ever so sweet of you."

This was it. This was the point. They approached the escalators and Arnold let Lila go first. Arnold focused on the top of Lila's head, and observed the countless strands of auburn hair that he first remembered seeing in the fourth grade.

They reached the first floor and Lila started the usual first floor walk, only to be stopped by Arnold's eager hand holding her arm. "Um. Lila. One sec."

Lila turned around to see Arnold standing there looking into her eyes. It only lasted a moment until Arnold looked down at the floor in apprehension. "Yes Arnold? Is something wrong?" She prompted him.

Arnold looked back up at Lila and tried to smile. Inside his mind was racing. Images of Helga vied for Images of Lila holding his hand, and they seemed to fight each other. "I was wondering. No pressure, but… Do you think that we could call this trip to the mall, a first date?"

Lila's smile faded slightly and she searched Arnold's eyes, and he immediately knew he had done something wrong. He'd seen that look in Lila's eyes before years ago in Tina Park. An emphatic look, like Lila was sorry she'd have to hurt his feelings.

"Please take my hand." Lila held out her hand and Arnold took it. His heart thumped weakly at the contact with Lila's hand, but his heart wanted it to be Helga's hand, and the thump was half-hearted at best. The pun seemed appropriate given the absurdity of it all as Lila lead Arnold away from the escalator.

The Hillwood Gallery Mall had one of the most talked about points of interest in all of Hillwood. People flocked to it when they were at the mall. It was like a ritual. One couldn't go to the mall, and say they were at the mall, unless they spent about a minute either sitting next to, or looking over the railing of the tall, two-story water fountain that stood in front of the mall's main entrance.

Entering the mall, it was the first thing you saw. Leaving the mall, it was the last thing you looked at. A pool of water that people had to walk around due to the imposing amount of floor space it occupied. If you walked into the mall, from the vantage point of the entrance you would see a series of waterfalls pouring out from underneath a second-story overlook. They cascaded down, hitting polished granite and turning into a wall of white before hitting the bottom pool with, interestingly enough, barely a sound.

Every fifteen minutes a series of fountains in the center of the pool would put on a choreographed display, illuminated by colored flood lamps underneath. At night they were more visible. Other times, the fountains would just shoot up into the air about half a story, and come straight back down.

For Arnold, it all seemed artificial. But it was still impressive. Lila still held his hand while she led him to the side of the pool. "Arnold, sit down." Lila commanded him lightly, and Arnold had no choice but to comply. He sat down on the cool granite and Lila sat beside him. She took a breath and then looked at Arnold. "I'm going to make this as clear as possible. I'm ever so positive I have no interest in you, in that way."

Arnold looked at Lila. Though she had a sympathetic expression in her green eyes, one that was her trademark, the way her lips curled, he could tell that for the most part he had just annoyed her to no end, possibly even hurt her. He nodded and looked away. He had been a fool. "I'm sorry."

"No." She said in a lower voice. "Don't apologize."

Arnold's ears perked up and he looked back at Lila. "Oh?"

"Any time you ask me to go do something with you, I want to go just as friends, and you have your mind set on asking me out. And every time, you ask me out."

Arnold was quick to his defense. "But, I haven't done that in a long time."

"You haven't asked me to do anything with you in a long time either." Lila reached over and put her hand on Arnold's shoulder. "You're a really good friend. You're sweet and caring. I know when I do things with you I'll have fun, but, don't you think you're being a little oblivious?"

"About what?"

"All I want from you is friendship."

"Oh, um." Arnold nodded. His mind was already lost in thought of how epic his screw-up was. Inside he was slapping himself. "Yeah. I think I understand."

Behind them, the fountain weakened and then stopped. Arnold could see alternating colors of blue and green reflecting off the walls, and people stopped and looked towards them, through them, at the fountain. It was the top of the hour and the fountain was putting on another display. But all Arnold could do is sit there with Lila, in silence, while he fought to let this all sink in.

He chuckled nervously. "Actually, this is kind of embarrassing."

Lila laughed back, and the dark mood seemed to lift a little. "Shall we forget this ever happened?"

Arnold looked at Lila and nodded. He realized something then and there about Lila Sawyer. He truly didn't have a chance with her. Lila was something else. He always saw in her a beauty that sometimes he felt only he understood. They were kindred spirits in a sense. Lila truly cared for her friends.

He realized that Lila would be forever out of his league. Not above him or below him, but just a different league. True they could be friends but nothing more than that.

For some reason though, he felt relieved, and it coincided with a mental image of Helga Pataki saying "Yes" to the same question he asked Lila. He suddenly felt like, even though he had betrayed Helga in a sense, it wasn't a total betrayal because he couldn't go through with it. Lila wouldn't acquiesce; not like she ever would.

A little guilt returned and stuck into the front of his mind. He wondered if this would happen again. Being with Lila was intoxicating. He liked her personality, and she was also very pretty, breathtaking even. But when he looked around the mall, he saw other teens, even grown men, turning their heads and looking at her, fantasizing. Perhaps. Perhaps this was just an infatuation with someone unattainable; just a guilty fantasy that would never come true. Or more than likely it was just an escape from something else entirely.

Arnold sighed, smiled, and looked at Lila. "Do you want to finish shopping and I'll walk you home. Um. As a friend, of course."

Lila smiled back, but it wasn't the kind of smile that Arnold was looking for. "Actually, I should get going." She stood up and claimed her bags, picking them up and holding them in both hands while she looked at Arnold. "I think you should stay at the mall and enjoy yourself. I notice we passed some stores you were looking at. You should go." It wasn't a suggestion Arnold realized. It was a command.

Arnold caught the signal well enough. He had annoyed Lila and spoiled the mood they had built up during the day while just hanging out as friends. That was over now. Arnold had seen to that. "We're still friends, right?"

"I'm ever so certain we are." That was a relief. Arnold's eyes brightened. He hadn't screwed up totally and lost a friend.

"Thank you."

"Goodbye, Arnold. Enjoy your evening." Lila finished in almost a formal tone. Then she turned around and walked away, her long ponytail swishing against her back. Arnold watched as she walked through the entrance, then to her left, and then she was gone.

He propped a knee up at the edge of the fountain and turned to look down at the water. Who was he kidding? He had pretty much proven to Lila that they could never be close friends, because Arnold would always misinterpret friendly gestures from Lila as something more. She had told him under no uncertain terms that she could never be his. He wasn't her type. He wasn't anything to her other than a friend. Sure, he realized that she probably cared about him somewhat. After all, in order to be friends, people had to have a certain amount of care towards the other.

Problems though, seemed to arise when one friend cared about the other a little too much. It changes things, it pisses in the pool and it leads to problems.

He felt a wave of relief again. And in his mind, she appeared. His obsession; with all the joy, pain, love, and hurt that accompanies it. He could see her plain as day as if she were a true reflection, her golden blonde hair reflected off of the surface, and a hot pink ribbon sat atop her head. The paradox of the deep blue oceans of her eyes reflected against the unworthy shallowness of the plain chlorinated water before him; their beauty conquering even the warping effects of the ripples in the water. He could see her lift something, a pretzel, up to her mouth and take a bite. Then she spoke to him, "interesting view huh."

In about a split second he realized it wasn't his mind, and that Helga was sitting next to him. He looked up and to his left. His mind went into a shock, and he felt like he had lost control of the English language, in fact he was certain anything he'd say at that particular moment would be a series of "huh's" and "wha's" so he opted to shut up and just look at her.

Helga sat a few feet from him, looking down at his reflection in the water. In her hand she held a paper wrapper containing a buttery, salted soft pretzel, and she held a piece in her hand, smiling wickedly. Two things stuck in his mind. First was that Helga had said something to him. Second was that she was sitting right next to him and acknowledging his presence.

Arnold thought about how quickly Helga appeared after Lila, and he went into damage control mode. He found his voice again. "How much did you see?"

Helga swallowed a bite of pretzel, looked down between them, and went to pinch off another piece of the soft, salted bread. "Enough."

"What are you doing here?" Arnold asked. He realized how dumb that question sounded, and quickly added. "I mean, um, sorry it's just-"

"I cannot believe it has taken this long for you to realize Lila is not interested, Arnoldo." Helga interrupted. She didn't even bother to look up. She just brought another piece of pretzel up to her mouth and popped it in.

"Well, for your information this is the last time Helga. It's over with Lila."

She shook her head and chuckled, then looked at Arnold with a slight scowl. "Sure. Whatever."

"But it's true!" Arnold let some anger curve into his lips. He couldn't believe this. Here was the girl that was his dreams and fantasies, always out of his reach, and now she was sitting before him after a year, eating a pretzel, and trying to get under his skin. And she was doing a good job of it too. He crossed his arms and turned around to sit with both feet planted on the ground again. His nerves were working his body into a fit of shakes. "You haven't even answered my question."

"Which is?"

"Why are you here?"

Helga shrugged. "Free country. There's a Pretzel Factory here and I love these things. So what's it to you?"

"You came all the way over from our neighborhood to eat a pretzel when there's a Fritz's Pretzel Stand right down the block from your house?"

Helga looked at Arnold with a start, grinned, and then resumed eating her pretzel. "Pretty sharp for a dense brick. But you're still a brick."

Helga pressed on. "Yes Football Head. I came here to spy on you when there's a Book Nook on the second floor right across the hall from CD's 'n More and a Pink store. Get over yourself."

Arnold narrowed his eyes, shook his head, and looked away. "Whatever Helga." He crossed his arms and sighed in annoyance.

A silence descended upon them, while Arnold watched the evolving crowd of people either leaving or entering the mall. Most of them stole glances at the fountain as they passed by, waiting for it to come to life again. The occasional rustling of a pretzel wrapper was his only indication that Helga was beside him.

Mentally, he thought back to the library elevator and the words that Helga said, about how he had the key and didn't know how to use it yet. How she would always give him a chance. He almost harrumphed out loud. Yeah. Some chance! Here's Helga, sitting beside him, first time in a year that she's giving him attention, and she spends it as the same old bully that he had tried and tried to change.

It was frustrating to the core. Every time he'd think of Helga, he realized his most treasured thoughts were of the soft, caring, gentle Helga that wouldn't hurt a fly. The Helga who would never laugh at other people's weaknesses. Not this, this shell of an ugly thing. The one who was sitting there trying everything she could to bruise him. Sure, she had told him that she was one in the same with the Cecile in her heart. But he had to call bullshit on that. He just had to.

No way could that girl he spent Valentine's Day with, be this undesirable character that he had learned over the years to despise.

And that's what sucked about it. He despised her, and yet, he loved her. He couldn't let people know that he loved her because they might laugh at his obsession. He was afraid of approaching her about all this, because he would seem like a confused basket case.

"The Rhondaloid has the hots for you, you know." Helga interrupted his thoughts.

"What?"

"You heard me."

Arnold shook his head. "Repeat it."

"Fine" Helga sighed. "Listen carefully. Rhonda. Lloyd. Wants. You." Helga poked him in the chest for emphasis and resumed tearing her pretzel to shreds. "You make her girl parts tingle I guess. You should ask her out. She'll say yes, easily."

"H-how do you know this?" Arnold mumbled in disbelief while he straightened the part of his shirt out that Helga had poked.

"I'm a girl if you haven't noticed." She thought. "Oh, wait, you have."

Arnold had to let that one slide. He wouldn't let those memories cause pain. He treasured the one time he made out with Helga. He wouldn't let her use that against him. Still. He couldn't help but find this information curious enough. Was Helga really helping him here? She had to have known that he was trying to find someone, to try and move on, which was what he knew she probably wanted after he had hurt her so bad, bad enough for her to use an intimate moment they both shared as venom against him.

He knew from the talk in the locker room that Rhonda Wellington Lloyd was known throughout the high school as the most unattainable girl in their class. To ask her out, one first had to express interest in her in a way that she'd notice. Then came the judgment phase where she'd look the guy over and determine if he was up to her standards. If she expressed interest, then she would send some sort of signal that the guy would have to pick up on. Then at the right moment, they'd ask her out, and then she'd put on a scene, tell them how much they're not worth it, and then that would be the end of it.

It was almost like a game. Arnold never really thought about Rhonda in that way. They weren't even in the same social circles after elementary school. While Lila was in a different league, Rhonda was one of the "beautiful people." That wasn't to say she was just in the right circle. Rhonda had indeed become very attractive.

Arnold glanced at Helga as she finished her pretzel. Problem was that he had no idea who Rhonda was anymore. All he knew was that she had been listed as "hot" the moment she walked into the high school for the first time.

And now Helga had said the most talked about girl in school had somehow confided to someone, and eventually Helga found out that, Rhonda truly had an interest in him, of all people. He found himself curious. Could he skip what all the other boys at school had to endure? Could he get a simple "No, stay away from me" without all the legwork? Could he just approach her and ask her out?

Would Rhonda actually agree?

He looked at Helga again. No way.

H A H A H A H A H A

Arnold walked down the hallway of the school with a determined look on his face and butterflies swimming around in his stomach. There were two potential outcomes here. One, if Helga had been lying to him, he was about to have the most embarrassing encounter of his life. Two, if Helga had been telling him the truth, which was unlikely given her attitude towards him at the mall, Rhonda might blush, pull him aside, and tell him that they could go on a date together.

He was still leaning towards the former. Perhaps the reason he was doing this had something to do with proving Helga wrong. Or, perhaps he was proving to Helga that she was right. Or. He didn't know really. Part of him felt excited that such a girl like Rhonda would even be interested in him. He didn't have much fashion sense. He did ditch his hat over the summer. He still wore the same-old-same-old combination. But if he actually had a chance with Rhonda he wagered he'd try. He was currently single and Rhonda was obviously single. It wouldn't hurt to ask…

Much…

There was some excitement here, he reasoned as he approached the hallway that contained Rhonda's locker. Some male bravado he felt. He fantasized about all the envious looks he would get from his classmates as he'd stroll down the Hall with Rhonda attached to his arm. He actually started to wonder what it would be like to kiss Rhonda. Would it be different from Helga? How different would it be?

He realized his face was getting hot. That wouldn't do. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his head and he immediately felt cool air across his face as he rounded the corner and faced the home stretch. Rhonda's locker was down the Hall.

As he approached the group of people standing around Rhonda's locker, including cheerleaders and football players with varsity jackets, he suddenly felt very inadequate. Who was he kidding?! He hadn't even talked to Rhonda in a few years. They'd had their moments in elementary, but after that, Rhonda let herself get totally drawn in to the attention other students gave her.

He played football and basketball with Gerald, but he just wasn't in to those groups at school, so he never tried out. He didn't care much, but now he suddenly felt shorter, more self-conscious. A few in the group noticed his approach. Rhonda didn't notice. She was standing in the middle of the group with her back towards him, chatting about something and moving her arms around a bit. The fact that they were all staring at her made him gulp. This was going to cause a scene.

When he reached the crowd, he stopped and stared. He tried to find his voice. Rhonda's chatting continued until he finally managed a slightly nervous. "Rhonda?"

Everyone looked at him immediately, and Rhonda stopped chatting. He could see odd grins on the girls, and smug expressions on the tall muscular football players. His mind spun, and he felt like he had just walked into a teen movie. Everyone was sizing him up at the same time, and he felt like a mouse.

Then his eyes met Rhonda's. He noticed, oddly enough, the expression in her eyes. She was shocked. Her look gave him an odd feeling, like perhaps something interesting was about to happen that he had never considered. "Yes, Arnold?" Rhonda asked in her proper voice.

It was then that he realized Rhonda was just as surprised as him, and he also heard something in her voice, something that sounded like she really wanted to hear what he had to say, like he wasn't wasting her time at all. He looked around at the judgmental throng of people, and said. "Um. Can I speak to you a moment? Alone?"

Arnold could hear a few of the girls snickering amongst themselves, ready to see this poor innocent fool get kicked out on the street. As if on cue, one of the taller football players, a sandy haired quarterback by the name of Tom, hung his meaty arm around Arnold. The taller junior turned the smaller sophomore around, and said in a commanding voice. "Come with me kid. Let's leave-"

"Tom stop." He heard Rhonda command, and the tall quarterback stopped.

Then Rhonda stood beside Arnold and pried Tom's arm off of his shoulders. "Guys, I have something to attend to." She smiled back to her pack of groupies and the curious looks on their faces, and then turned to Arnold. "Let's go outside."

Rhonda took Arnold's hand and led him outside. Arnold watched her long dark hair sway back and forth. It looked flawless, like it had been brushed at least a hundred times that morning. He noticed her hips move and it was like he had never seen Rhonda in his life ever before. Something had changed about her that he had never noticed previously. They went around a corner to a brick wall facing another. They were effectively in an alleyway.

"What did you want to talk about?" Rhonda prompted him. He noticed however, that deep within her brown eyes, which he suddenly found rather attractive, there was no malice at all. Instead she seemed hopeful for some reason. He had to wonder where this all came from. They were never quite in the same social circles, ever. There was no reason for this to be happening. Rhonda was the unattainable one. The most popular guys in school constantly asked her out, even when they had girls of their own, and she always turned them down.

How would this be any different? He studied her face and noticed how flawless it was, how perfect her nose was, how the diamond studs in her ears were perfectly matched. It did give him a little courage. She seemed to disarm him. So… It was obviously now or never. He had to ask. "This is going to sound really dumb. I mean." Arnold laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head. "I never really thought about how to ask this so I'm probably going to sound like a complete idiot. But, would you like to go to a movie this Friday?"

He watched her face carefully. This was it, the mother of all rejections. She would tell her cronies the story about this little man asking her out, and she would tell them everything about how much of a dork he was. This would be after the next few moments where she would tell him how much of a moron he was to think that she, Rhonda Wellington Lloyd of all girls, would even waste her time going out with a loser like him.

She was the highest on the totem pole. Girls envied her, the cheerleaders had a cheer in her honor, every single member of the football team had asked her out more than once, even Thad Gammelthorpe, AKA Curly, seemed to have given up on her. She was unreachable. She was unattainable. Rhonda was high school royalty.

"Yes."

He paused. Everything around them seemed miniscule at that moment. Did he just… Did he just hear what he thought he heard? "Um. Wait. Rhonda, I mean."

"Arnold, I am a Wellington Lloyd, we do not stutter." She sang, and then twirled her pretty raven black hair with her fingers, and Arnold could see a blush on her cheek. "Actually." She laughed, giddily, like a little girl. She approached him and placed her hands on Arnold's shoulders while her dark eyes twinkled. "I was hoping you'd ask."

Wait. What? "You were?" Arnold looked dumbfounded.

And as Rhonda started rambling about her reasons why they were a perfect match, Arnold realized Helga wasn't deceiving him when she told him that Rhonda liked him.

But…

Why did Helga tell him?

H A H A H A H A H A

Author's Corner:

I know what everyone is thinking. "Pyrex! What the sam h e double-hockey-stick are you smoking!? Why would you pair Arnold and Rhonda?! Are you insane!?" Patience my fellow readers, for you see I have done something sneaky. Your mind is now in a state of flux. You have absolutely no idea where I am going with this story. This is intentional I assure you. I wanted to throw everyone off the trail.

For those of you who have picked up on what I'm doing, good work. For those of you who have no idea but are following along, well, let's just say that if you stick with this story you will be rewarded. I assure you of that.

Reviews are always appreciated and I enjoy reading them, so have fun with them. Thanks for reading, and until next time (which should be shorter than last time by several months).