2. Preparing for War and Petunia's Story
The next morning Harry Potter awoke with a slight smile, feeling truly rested for the first time since before the DoM debacle. As he sat up, memories of the previous night came flooding in his mind, once again filling him with a fierce determination and, unknown to him, a look in his eyes that promised pain to anyone who got in his way.
As Harry became adjusted to the sunlight streaming through the curtains, he thought about how to go about beginning this new chapter in his life. He quickly decided to make a list and then put in order of most important and easiest to do. He glanced at the beat-up clock Dudley had left in the tiny room and saw that it was 6: 30 am exactly, Harry felt that was good because it gave him a lot of time to do planning today.
Getting out of bed, Harry reached into the paint-chipped desk drawer next to his bed and pulled out three never used spiral notebooks and a pack of blue pens. Harry loved being a wizard but knew that muggle writing utensils were far superior to quills and parchment. Sitting back down and ignoring the creaking of the old mattress, Harry opened the pack of pens and pulled one out, then opened the first notebook.
Harry stopped and realized he hadn't thought about what to write and settled against the wall. Thinking about previous years, Harry grimaced when he realized how little control he had over his life, how many decisions he had let other people, namely Dumbledore, make for him. Harry knew without a doubt that Dumbledore wasn't evil and had his best interest at heart, but he also knew Dumbledore was a bit controlling and smothering, almost like Mrs. Weasley, but Harry wasn't mad about that because he knew it was out of love. Harry suppressed a snort at comparing the short red-head to Albus Dumbledore.
Harry had been supremely angry at Dumbledore for withholding information from him but realized that he, Harry, had given Dumbledore the means to do it. If Harry had stood up for himself and didn't back down in first year or second, third, and especially fourth year, he most likely would've been able to make Dumbledore tell him the prophecy earlier and he would've prepared earlier. Harry quickly put an end to the self-deprecating thoughts and told himself that listing the what ifs and could haves wouldn't do any good now since it had already happened.
Harry wrote down letter to Dumbledore on the list, he would need to talk to him and hope Dumbledore would not stand in his way but if he did Harry would do it anyway. He was done being the perfect little savior everyone wanted him to be and he wasn't going to back down from this, but he also wasn't going to turn away help especially when he needed it now more than ever. Harry was under no illusions that he could do it alone and while he didn't want his friends put in danger, he could already hear their responses if he tried to talk them out helping him.
Hermione would look at him as if he was crazy then her eyes would soften and she would say: Well of course we're going to help you Harry! We're your friends and we'll always be there for you. You don't have to do anything alone anymore Harry, you have us now.
Despite what Hermione thought, Harry wasn't stupid when it came to girls and knew he falling for her but decided to worry about that later.
Ron would stare at him for a moment, as if searching his face for answers then would say: Like Hermione said, we're here for you Harry, and I swear I'll never turn my back on you again. We're in this together now and always mate, so cheer up and quit trying to push us away because it sure as hell won't work, not now and not ever.
After fourth year, Harry had noticed that Ron tried really hard last year to make it up to him for turning his back on him about the Goblet of Fire thing, and appreciated knowing that Ron really was sorry about it. Going back to his reflecting on past years Harry felt that he needed a new place to stay since he wouldn't be able to train and move around as much as he'd like here at the Dursleys. Briefly wondering if his parents had owned any other property other than Godrics Hollow, Harry wrote down letter to Gringotts. Harry felt it was important to know exactly what he inherited from his parents and even if they didn't have any more property Harry would see if he had enough money to buy a house in the wizarding world.
Thinking of his parents, Harry wondered if they had made a will but decided it wasn't important because it wouldn't change a thing. He would still be leaving here and he would still be training for war, he would put that in his letter to Gringotts though, just to make sure.
Harry moved on with the list, the letter to Gringotts would hopefully provide him with a place to train but now he needed to decide what he would be training in. Harry had always been interested in muggle fighting techniques and grinned when he realized that Death Eaters would never lower themselves to fighting like filthy muggles so none of them would expect it if he fought them that way. Also if he lost his wand he wouldn't be defenseless.
When Harry thought about being defenseless without a wand he quickly realized just how dependent witches and wizards were on their own. In a fight if you were disarmed you were helpless. Harry thought about it and remembered that he had done wandless magic before, it might not have been intentional but he had done it, so he put wandless magic on the list also.
Harry knew he would need books on different subjects and quickly decided that just sending letters wouldn't do, he would need to make a trip to Diagon Alley. To Harry that meant he had to ditch his watchers until he talked to Dumbledore; that would be simple with his special cloak from his dad unless Moody was watching him.
Thinking about books Harry started listing subjects he would need books on: Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, Occlumency, Legillimency, Offensive and Defensive Magics, Animagus, Household Spells, Battle Magics, Sword Fighting, Glamour and Disguising Spells, Wizarding Laws, Ancient Runes, Spell Modification, Spell Crafting, Auror Training manuals and spells. Harry felt this was a good start and he could always add more when he was in the bookstore.
Before moving on, Harry's stomach growled and reminded him that he hadn't eaten yet. Looking at the clock Harry saw that it was just turning 7 o'clock and he still had plenty of time to do what he needed to do today. It was Friday and school had just ended the Friday before so it was still the first week of summer. Harry wanted to get started as soon as possible and wanted to be able to start training as late as Monday.
Deciding to finish the list later, Harry got up and grimaced when he saw that all his muggle clothes were Dudley's hand-me-downs and quickly picked up the list and added muggle and wizarding wardrobes and multi-compartment trunk.
Pulling on a huge pair of jeans and fastening his belt Harry made his way downstairs, skipping the creaky step so as not to wake the Dursleys. Going into the unnaturally clean kitchen, Harry made himself a big breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast, fruit, potatoes, and juice. When he was done eating he spotlessly cleaned up his mess and headed back upstairs. On his way upstairs Harry passed his Aunt Petunia.
Harry was surprised when he didn't see loathing or anger on her face but fear and a tiny glimmer of hope. He was about to continue on his way when he heard his Aunt speak.
"Harry, can I speak to you privately for a minute please?" She whispered but Harry caught the desperate pleading in her voice and decided to give her a chance.
"Alright, Aunt Petunia, come in my room." He heard her following him quietly and she shut the door behind her. When he turned to look at her, he saw the look of fear magnified and saw her glance at door more than once as she nervously wrung her hands. He was about to say something but she beat him to it.
"Harry," she took a deep breath and continued, "I have no right to ask for your help and you have every right to refuse but I'm asking you anyway."
To say Harry was shocked would be like saying the Atlantic Ocean was a big puddle. This was Aunt that hated him all his life and now she was asking for his help. Harry quickly dismissed the thought of turning her away. When he was smaller he remembered she used to sneak him extra food in his cupboard and try to deflect his Uncle's attention elsewhere. She used to hold him at night sometimes when Vernon went to bed early but when he was around she would act like she hated him but he could always see the pain and regret in her eyes when she yelled at him. He had a vague feeling as to what this was about but hoped it wasn't true, no one deserved that.
"I promise to think about what you say and not automatically turn you away, go ahead." He noted the immense relief in her eyes when he said that and it confirmed his thoughts,
"Well, this started before you were even born but I'll start with today. This morning I woke up with the feeling that I'd probably never see you again, is that true?" She looked at him and he was shocked at how vulnerable she looked, as if she was expecting to be thrown out. He nodded and said, "This morning I was planning on leaving, I was in fact leaving in the next few hours." He said this calmly and noted that the hope in her eyes dimmed just a bit.
She continued, "Well I woke this morning with the feeling I'd never see you again and felt this was my last chance to get out. You see, when I first met Vernon he was nothing like he is today, he was charming, muscular, polite, a real gentlemen. After we had dated a few happy years we had decided to live together. Everything was great until- until eh c-came h-home one night dr-drunk and he, he r-raped me." She was starting to cry and Harry was astonished, he had suspected that Vernon hit her but not this. However, he quickly got up and pulled her to the bed and simply held her until she calmed down.
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to Aunt Petunia." Harry said kindly. She shook her head and continued.
"I have to say this, so you understand. The next day he claimed to have not remembered it and I, in my foolishness believed him. The next month I found out I was pregnant. I had expected Vernon to be happy but he was angry, he didn't want his child to be a bastard so he suggested we marry before he was born. I felt it was rushed and unnecessary but he was not to be moved on this. So in the next four months I was Mrs. Petunia Rose Dursley. The wedding was great but it was incomplete because Vernon had forbidden me from inviting my freak sister, those were his words." She said when she saw the look on his face at the word freak. "We had got into our first argument when I yelled at him and told him that despite our falling out I still loved Lily, she was my little sister and I was tired of ignoring her. I wanted us to make and I'd already sent and invitation and apology to her. The next thing I knew Vernon had snapped and backhanded me, knocking me into a table, which bruised my face and my stomach where I hit the table. I was shocked and angry so I smacked him, I expected him to snap out of it and apologize but that was not the case, this time he punched me and that was the second time he raped me." She closed her eyes and took deep slow breathes. Harry was enraptured with the story and understandably shocked and extremely angry. He had known that Vernon was a horrible person but to do that to your wife, your pregnant wife.
Oh my god! She was pregnant and he made her hit the table with her stomach and he raped her. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not the innocent baby please let that be why Dudley is so thick.
His Aunt Petunia was crying softly so he just held her and rubbed her back, soothing her and urging her to let it out.
She started again and he could see how much this hurt her to say next.
"That was the year before that Dark Lord guy Lily told me about had killed our parents." Harry was shocked and guilty; he had been so involved with trying to find out as much as he could about his parents over the years that he had given no thought to his grandparents on either side.
"I went to my parent's house and told them what happened, they let me stay there for a few days and my dad, Jason Evans, was ready to go murder Vernon for hurting me. I went back to Vernon and he apologized again and we got married. The day after we got married instead of going on the honeymoon we went o the hospital because I had woken up in pain. We thought the baby was coming early until we saw all the blood in the bed. Before we even got to the hospital I knew what had happened and so did Vernon, He had killed our unborn baby." She broke down again and Harry could understand why. If he was his aunt he would have murdered Vernon in his sleep, Harry knew Vernon was evil but to kill your unborn baby?
"What made me most angry was when Vernon claimed it was because I was stressed. He blamed ME for killing the baby. I almost murdered him right there that night when he fell asleep in the chair beside my bed. I was stupid back then, I convinced myself that Vernon was right because if I didn't I would have to admit that everything was wrong and not the perfect life I had been looking and hoping for. I easily forgave him and ten months later Dudley was born, at the hospital the doctors told me that because of Vernon I wouldn't be able to have any more children. They didn't know Vernon raped me and chalked it up to Dudley's birth. I was heartbroken, I loved Dudley but I had always wanted a house full of children but because of Vernon I couldn't have another thing I wanted. Over the next year, Vernon didn't hit or rape me but he didn't love me either, I could see that even when I was trying to deny it. When you love someone you put them first but Vernon always put himself first. When Dudley started daycare I wanted to work and do something with my life but Vernon made me stay home and be a proper wife." Harry had been so angry and was fuming but was also so into the story that he was startled at the sheer venom in her voice when she said those last two words. He had seen pictures of his mother angry and he saw that in aunt petunia to, he saw the rage and pain and it made him want to protect her even more. He could see that the years with Vernon had not been kind to her but also knew that with the right change she could be as beautiful as she once was before Vernon ruined her.
He had seen a photo of her in the album in the living room and was shocked that the beautiful woman in the picture was Aunt Petunia. The woman in the in the picture was vibrant and lively, her hair rich and a beautiful reddish-brown color that reminded Harry of his mom's. Only Lily's was fierier while Petunia's had the brownish tinge. The woman in the picture had a bright smile and perfect skin and looked remarkably like Lily Potter. That was until she married Vernon, going toward the back of the album you could see the strain taking its toll on her. Gone was the vibrant hair and bright smile, gone was the perfect skin and sparkly eyes, she was a ghost of her former self. He was shook from his thoughts when she continued.
"I had wanted a career but knew that Vernon would get angry again and I am ashamed to say backed down. Over that year, I grew angry and bitter until the November when you showed up on our doorstep. I was so happy that we could take in another baby but was devastated by Lily's death. By then me and Lily had been sending secret letters to each other and had already made up. I wanted to treat you like a second son and raise you to be a fine young man." Harry was shocked and humbled by the love in her voice despite the past there was no doubt in his mind that his aunt loved him; he didn't think any less of her for being scared to show it in front of Vernon.
"We both knew you'd be a wizard even without Dumbledore's letter, and Vernon insisted we either drown or give the freak to an orphanage! I was so angry I wished I had magic just so I could lash out at him but I had you to think of. I wouldn't allow him to drown you no matter what and I'd heard what orphanages were like and I would not give you to one. Vernon was angry but wouldn't hit me in front of Dudley. That night Vernon put you in the cupboard and when I protested beat me, not just a hit but multiple hits that left me within an inch of my life, while he was beating me he told me that while I was his wife I would obey him or else. Instead of standing up to him like we were raised to, I was a coward and obeyed him. Over the years he got worse and on his worse days I would try to deflect his anger from you to me and take the beating instead. He would have killed you if hadn't and I couldn't bear to let him hurt you more than he already did. I would come to you at night and try to comfort you and even when I was yelling at you my heart wasn't in it. Then, you got your letter and I was happy you would be getting to leave this hell. I prayed that you would tell someone about your life here so they would call Child Services or somebody even if I got arrested to. But by that time Vernon had already killed off most of your confidence and self-worth and trust. When nobody came and you returned that summer I almost lost hope. The longer you went to that school the worse Vernon's beatings have gotten when you're gone. Those threats from those people at the station may have applied to you but it didn't to me so once again Vernon took his anger out on me and raped me for the third time a few days ago, which is why you haven't seen me since you came home, I've been recovering. That all changed this morning and now I'm asking for help. You say you're leaving and I'm not asking you for money but I'm asking you to take me with you." When she finally finished her story, Harry was deep in thought. He knew that if he took her away they could finally be a family. But he could not, would not take Dudley also and with the war going on he couldn't protect her all the time and she was a muggle, so she couldn't protect herself against wizarding attacks.
"I really want to take you with me but there is a war going on and without magic you can't protect yourself against a wizard attack. I could set you up with a house but…" Harry trailed off at the look of desolation on her face. He felt terrible but she appeared deep in thought and then her face lit up.
"I remember when I was a kid things would happen around me even when Lily wasn't there. It would always happen when I was really emotional but the more I resented Lily and her magic the less stuff happened around me until it stopped." Harry was blown away. His aunt did accidental magic which meant…. Harry thought about this, he connected the dots and presented his thoughts to his aunt.
"If you're right, then I think the more you resented magic you subconsciously blocked your own from evolving. We could research a way to unblock it but you would have about two and a half decade's worth of magic built up. You could be really powerful and if we unblock your magic maybe we could get some tutors and get you a wand so you can train too?" Harry suggested this and waited for her answer. He was amazed to see the sheer determination in her eyes and felt reminded of himself just yesterday.
"I'll do it, but first we need to get away from Vernon. I love Dudley but he's exactly like his father and I can't really stand to call him my son anymore. I tried to raise him right but Vernon corrupted him." Harry was relieved to hear that and mentally added her to his plans as he made up a new one to get her away from Vernon. They would stay in the wizard world until the war was over but while they were there she could file for divorce.
"Alright here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna pack my stuff while you go downstairs and make Dudley and Vernon breakfast, when he leaves for work you grab anything you want to take with you and we take the Knight Bus to Diagon Alley, which is the wizarding shopping center." She nodded and got up; when she turned around he saw a glimpse of the girl she used to be and had hopes that she would become her again.
"Thank you Harry, I am in your debt forever and just know that despite the previous year I do love you." She gave him a sad smile and went downstairs to start their plan. Harry was filled with a warm feeling that gave him the strength to go on and not kill Vernon in his sleep.
He looked at the clock and saw that they had been talking for two hours and now it was 9: 15. It was still early and they had a lot to do so he started packing his little bit of belongings and picked up his list from earlier. Looking at it he added a muggle and witches wardrobe for Petunia and all the books on the Hogwarts list from 1st to 7th year in every subject. He would teach her himself after they unblocked her magic. He sat on the bed and heard his Uncle getting up and going downstairs, if he dared hit his aunt Harry knew that what he did to Vernon would be a lot worse than anything he had done to Aunt Marge his 3rd year. It amazed Harry that before today he didn't hate Petunia but he didn't like her either and now he was so protective of her, but she was the only blood family he had left and they needed each other. He heard Vernon come back upstairs and heard the shower running. A little while later he heard Vernon say good-bye and then the car pulling out of the driveway.
He stuck his head out the door and saw Petunia running up the stairs. She quickly hugged him then let him go.
"That was the last time I ever want to see him again until the divorce, thank you again Harry. I'll go pack unless you've changed your mind." She said this last part quietly and he quickly reassured her he wasn't going to leave her behind. When she disappeared he heard he rummaging through her stuff and told her to leave her clothes, and that he would buy her the proper wardrobe she wanted not the clothes Vernon made her wear. He saw her tearstained grateful face look at him from the doorway and then she disappeared again this time returning ten minutes later with a large backpack on her back. At his questioning look, she said, "This is the stuff that means a lot to me like stuff that belonged to my parents and I want to grab the Evans family photo albums also, I'd love to show you all your family on our side." She said then beamed when she saw the happiness on his face. His face turned serious, "Are you ready for this Aunt Petunia?" He asked her concernedly. She nodded and then looked thoughtful.
"Since we're having a fresh start I want to go by my middle name, Rose, ok?" Harry nodded. "It's a tradition in the Evans family to name the girls after flowers so you remember that when you have kids ok?" She laughed when he blushed and nodded. Harry was happy to hear that her laughter sounded like music, something he expected his mother's to sound like.
"Alright lets go." They moved to downstairs where his Aunt Petu-Rose grabbed the photo albums and stuck them in her bag.
(A.N.~ From now on Petunia Dursley will be called Rose Evans.)
It was early so the neighbors were sleep when they made their way to the curb. Harry stuck his wand out and before his Aunt Rose could ask a loud BANG was followed by the appearance of a purple double-decker bus with KNIGHT BUS printed on the front. The door opened and Stan Shunpike read from his card and said, "Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. For Fifteen sickles you can get hot chocolate and for fifteen you can get a hot water bottle and a toothbrush the color of your choice. I'm Stan Shunpike and this Ernie Pram."
Both Harry and Rose declined the offered items and found a seat in the back.
"Where to?" Stan asked. "The Leaky Cauldron." Harry answered.
They settled in and Harry warned his aunt to hold on. She found out why when the bus took off.
As they rode on Rose asked about his school and with prompting Harry told her everything about his school years at Hogwarts starting with going to Diagon Alley with Hagrid and ending with his decision to train. He knew his aunt loved him but that feeling was confirmed when she was angry and indignant on his behalf about everything that had happened.
"And you're not off the hook either Mister, going off on those LIFE-THREATENING adventures!" He was about to protest when she said, "If your mother was alive she would've tanned your hide after every time you got hurt! Then she would've gone up to the school and kicked your Headmasters butt. Your mother had a wicked temper and I'm absolutely positive she had the power to back it up." Rose finished proudly. Harry was content to hear about his mum since he only heard about his father form everyone else. But here was a person who had known his mother from when she was a baby. He was actually happy to hear that his mother would've been angry at the Headmaster for the danger he was put in and understood she would've spanked him because she wanted him to be safe. He had always wondered how his parents would've reacted to his little adventures and now he knew.
They continued talking and when it was time to get off the bus, Harry felt as if he and his Aunt Rose had been best friends since he was taken to her house. The past years were not forgotten but Harry had forgiven her which took a large weight from her shoulders.
They dismounted the bus and Harry covered his scar with his hair, he saw his Aunt Rose watching him but she didn't mention it since he told her how much he hated the staring.
They suspected that Rose had magic but that was confirmed when she told him she could see the Leaky Cauldron by herself. He told her how you could only see it if you had magic and she was happy. They opened the door to the dark pub and quickly made their way to the alley behind. Harry smiled and remembered the amazement he felt when he first saw Diagon Alley and now he would get to see his aunt's long-awaited reaction. He tapped the right bricks and said. "Aunt Rose, Welcome, to Diagon Alley." With a dramatic sweep of his arms.