Before you ask who the hell is CindersAndRain - hey its me! Rogue061! :P

So, I'm back. Sorry for the long hiatus, but I couldn't help otherwise. College is up next! I was doing shopping and stuff. I start this Wednesday. We have an orientation up then, and then, the classes start from Thursday. I'm really excited! :D

Anyway, I got a new idea. And so, I'm stretching this a bit longer than scheduled. Personally, I like this chapter. You'll know why... when you read it. I'm not disclosing it. I think you all will like it too.

Thank you for the response! Thanks to serafimdream, Beater101, Isabella94, Sue Doe Nyhm, Laani26, Mahwash, tanya2byour21. Love you all!

Also thanks to people who alerted/fav'd this story. You guys rock! (:

Special thanks to Mahwash because you gave me a new idea by asking all those questions. I wasn't going to let this body switching happen, but now, it will happen.

Anyway guys, not wasting anymore of your time, I'll ask you to read on...

Chapter Thirteen

He knew

.

Suddenly, I was jerked away from Logan and pushed away. I opened my eyes in alarm, having fallen down on the floor with brute force. I looked up, confused to see Logan holding…

Me.

Logan was holding me.

Realizing just what had happened, I looked down at myself.

Oh no.

No, this just wasn't possible.

I looked up again.

"I can touch you," Logan whispered to Phoenix, currently resident of my body, holding my body closer to him. "I thought your powers returned?"

"They did. I managed to control it. My mutation," Phoenix whispered back in voice closer to mine than I had anticipated her to use from our earlier talking.

And then, before I could get up and say "Farce!" in her face, they both leaned towards eachother and…

…they kissed.

Shit.

How? When did this happen?

Wasn't I supposed to be dead? How am I in this body? Witnessing… this?

I got up again as Phoenix wrapped her hands around Logan, pulling him closer. I felt sick.

And despite my anger at Logan, despite the months that passed during which I cursed myself for falling for Logan, I couldn't help but feel my heart break at the sight of them. I stood up and went up to them, feeling slightly dizzy. And then, before I could stop myself, I shouted out to him, "Logan! Logan don't! That's… that's Phoenix!"

But he didn't even listen to me. Before I could do anything else to bring him to his senses, suddenly, somebody caught me from behind. I looked around to see Mystique looking at me with pure dislike as she enveloped my hands in one of hers and held me closer, restraining me from moving anymore.

"Mystique, that's Phoenix!" I tried to explain it to her. "I'm Rogue. You need to understand. She did some body switching thing and now–"

"Shut up," Mystique told me, looking over at Logan and Phoenix with a smile playing on her lips.

"Listen to me, Mystique. You don't understand. That's–"

Abruptly, another hand – Mystique's hand – enclosed over my mouth, preventive me from speaking further. I struggled against her, finally realizing that they weren't understanding me.

In all my anger at everything, as Logan continued to kiss Phoenix, I bit on Mystique's hand. She pulled it away in a flash. I glared at her as she glared back.

I sighed. She didn't even know. I couldn't be angry at her for that. Sure I was frustrated but that wasn't her fault too.

"Mystique, come on. It's me, Rogue. Don't you get it?" She merely looked at me, while rubbing her hand with disgust evident in her eyes. I turned towards Logan then, who was still kissing me… no, Phoenix.

I gulped for once realizing that for Logan… it was me… kissing him back. I mean, he was kissing me, or intended to do it, anyway. Only, it had ended all wrong. He was kissing Phoenix, taking her for me.

I grew angrier by the second looking at them and before I could stop myself, I stepped up to them and pushed her away from Logan. It required much force than it usually did – I wasn't accustomed to this body – but I managed.

"Stop it!" I screamed at them, my hands on either of their shoulders. "Stop it, please."

I retrieved my hand as Logan turned a glare at me and I couldn't help but freeze in my shoes. This wasn't the glare Logan threw me. Never me. This was his enemy glare. Like the one he threw at his enemies, the one filled with complete disgust and anger. It was 'the glare'. I almost shivered at the thought of what he might do next, when Phoenix spoke up. The Phoenix occupying my body, that is.

"Logan, she hurt me. She… she made it pain like hell."

Logan looked back at Phoenix, taking her in his arms and threw me 'the glare' over her head… uh, my head.

"Who are you?" He spoke up. "You look… strangely like…"

"Jean," Mystique completed his sentence.

"She's Phoenix," came Phoenix's reply. "She told me so herself."

Suddenly Logan stilled. Slowly, he let Phoenix go and looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. Then, he looked at me with confusion coupled with anger. "Phoenix?"

"She didn't die," Phoenix continued. "She survived. Only Jean died that night."

Phoenix threw me a smug smile and looked back at Logan, turning her… my worry eyes at him.

"Logan," I finally began. Even my voice was not my own. It was something higher than what mine was, somehow, more girly. "She's lying. She..." I gulped. "I don't how to explain it. She switched our bodies… souls, whatever. She's the Phoenix. You have got to make her switch our bodies back."

"She's spinning lies!" Phoenix shouted. I turned around to look at Mystique, but I spotted somebody else by the huge doors and suddenly, an idea formed in my head.

"Leslie!" I screamed with joy. He was standing there along with Marcus and Eve. I ignored them both. "Leslie, please read our minds. Tell them that she's Phoenix, the real one. That I'm Rogue. Do it, Leslie. I give you the permission."

Leslie looked from me to Phoenix and back again. He sighed.

"I can't read either of your minds for some reason," he answered dejectedly.

"What?" I asked, crestfallen. "Why not? Why can't you read our minds?" Suddenly, it dawned on me. "Professor!" I shouted. "Professor could do it. He'd know what to do. He'd tell you guys that I'm Rogue."

I ran back to Logan, almost begging to him. "Logan, please. I'm Rogue. We've got to go to Professor Xavier. He'd help us. He'd know what to do."

"Logan, that's Phoenix," Phoenix suddenly said. "We should kill her off now, before she wrecks anymore damage or hurts anybody. She already destroyed the world before. Kill her off before she does it again."

I looked at her with hurt eyes. She wanted Logan to kill me? Could she be anymore cruel?

"You…" I began, but I couldn't finish because I felt a lump in my throat and I was unable to speak anymore. I turned around, looking at the ground when another idea hit me. I turned around again, gulped and voiced it out. "Ask me anything." I turned to Mystique. "You ask me something. I'll answer it. Anything that only you and me are supposed to know."

Mystique narrowed he eyes at me speaking along, "The thing that you're unsure about. About Charles?"

I smiled. "That he didn't help me like he helped Jean. With my powers."

Mystique looked at me, her eyes back to normal, this time with a slight confusion and shock on her face. "Rogue?"

"Yes!" I spoke with great relief. I smiled at her as she took a couple steps towards me.

"Why can't… I remember that?" Phoenix said, behind me. Mystique stilled in her path, looked over my shoulders. I turned around to face Phoenix, who was acting as if she was having a panic attack. "God… Why don't I remember… Oh no…" She looked at me, with my eyes and then at Logan. "Logan she wiped out some of my memories!"

"What?" I asked, shocked. She had another move up her sleeve? She was one quick thinker. And a huge liar. "Now that you're caught, you're–"

"Acting?" She shrieked at me, and then, suddenly, she was strangling me, her hands wrapped around my throat as she shouted, "I'm acting! You… you tried to kill me! You tried to take Logan away from me! What did I ever do to you? Why are you doing this to me?"

I couldn't breathe. I felt stifling as she squeezed harder and I clawed at her hands, all in vain. I tried to say stop, but all that came out was gasps, not clear even to my own ears.

The next second, the pressure relieved and I felt a tremor run through me and I felt a wave of pain hit me. I suddenly realized that she was using my powers on me!

I felt air leaving my lungs as I fell down, her hand still clutching my throat, as my own powers drained my life, pain wrecking my body. I couldn't even struggle anymore and I saw dark spots in my vision. My head was swirling, aching again. I felt pain all over and really… I was tired of all the pain that I was going through lately.

A moment later, everything stopped as I breathed heavily, clutching my throat. I was gasping loudly, inhaling volumes of air through my mouth. Then, I had a fit of cough as Mystique clutched my shoulders, rubbing my back.

After about fifteen minutes, I felt well enough to get up and see Phoenix wrapped in Logan's arms as she was crying a river. Logan was rubbing her shoulders, trying to calm her. I felt sick all over again as I saw Logan whispering words of support in her ears.

"Couldn't you have acted sooner?" I asked Mystique in an accusing tone. "It pained like hell. And she's using my powers on me. She probably has answers to all your questions now."

She glared at me again. "It was only seconds."

Uh, really?

Mystique rounded up on Logan, helping me stand up. "Something is definitely fishy here. Rogue wouldn't react like that. Ever."

"Or maybe she would," Logan said back as Phoenix started crying harder. "She's been under so much, Mystique. Maybe she had a mental breakdown or something."

Mystique looked at Logan with a glare. "If she's really Phoenix…" She looked at me. "Why hasn't she tried to kill us yet? Or maybe tried to wreck some kind of damage? But no. What we should expect out of her… That's exactly what she did," she nodded over to Phoenix. "And she," She looked at me, "She answered me correctly."

"She wiped my memories!" Phoenix shouted, pushing Logan back a bit and looking at me with anger and accusing eyes. "She's playing with us! It's what she does best. Remember Logan," She tuned to Logan, "Remember how she called you to herself? How she made Magneto attack you? When Phoenix first surfaced?"

Logan turned to look at Phoenix sharply. "How would you know that?"

"Uh," Phoenix hesitated for the first time. "I have her memories in my head."

"Yeah, right," Logan nodded his head. "Of course."

Okay, Phoenix was an official lying machine.

"Maybe we should go to Charles first, as she said," Mystique nodded at me. "He'd know the best way to solve this."

"No! We should just finish her off, Logan," Phoenix sidled up to him, splaying a hand over his chest, "Finish her off before she tries to hurt us."

"No," Logan said, calmly, trying to explain Phoenix. "We should go to Professor. He should decide how best to kill off Phoenix. Last time, Adamantium couldn't do it. What are the chances that it would do it now?"

"No!" Phoenix almost shouted. "Try! Kill her now. There's no use to string her along."

"Marie, try and understand. I don't know how to kill her finally," Logan looked at Phoenix. "We should go to Professor. But only to find a way to kill her."

He called her Marie. Why did that make my heart break all over again?

"No, I said it," Phoenix looked at him, blinking her doe eyes, but her voice full of determination. "She makes me feel nervous, Logan. She tried to kill me. She can hurt all of us."

"No, I won't!" I defended myself. "I don't have any powers. This body… I don't even know if I have any powers. This body isn't mine."

Logan looked at me and for a second, I swear I saw something akin to sympathy in his eyes. Then look quickly melted away and got replaced by anger.

"Stop acting!" Phoenix said. "Why are you doing this? I never hurt you in any way… why are you doing this to me and… Logan?"

Mystique answered in stead of me.

"It's final then," Mystique said. "We should take her to Charles."

Then, she turned and left the barn through the front entry, where Leslie and Marcus along with Eve were standing. They all looked confused and followed Mystique one by one. Leslie gave me a pointed look and then left after Marcus.

Phoenix looked at Logan. "Logan, can't you try for once? Maybe she'd die this time and leave us alone finally… You can at least try. For me?"

Logan looked at Phoenix and kissed her square on the lips, churning my stomach. I gulped and looked at them both, feeling like I was going to explode. I felt as if I had lost everything. Even myself.

I looked at Phoenix kissing Logan back eagerly.

I could see myself kissing Logan. My body… my lips.

How long had I wanted this for? How long had I wanted to be actually able to kiss those lips? And now, I was doing it… in a way. And yet, I wasn't.

I sob escaped my lips and I turned away from both of them, following the others out. I couldn't bear this. I couldn't see it.

It was what I had wanted for so long and now… I had it in a way. At least my body was with Logan.

I wasn't.

I felt a couple tears drop off my eyes. Leslie couldn't read my mind. What if Professor–?

No. He would. Professor Xavier was… he was the person I drew my strength from. He wouldn't let me standing off like this. He'd understand who I was and then, he'd make Phoenix swap our bodies. I wanted my body back. I didn't– I looked down at myself. I looked like Jean. I didn't want to be stuck in this body to face mirror everyday and see a Jean's duplicate staring back at me to make me realize what a failure I was. Because I couldn't even keep a hold of my own body. How pathetic was that?

I bet nobody was that much of a failure ever.

Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed me from behind and I was locked in a stronghold. Logan's hands clutched at my stomach, making me unable to move. He was so close, that I gulped involuntarily. And I knew he heard it for he asked, "Frightened?"

"No," I replied stubbornly, fidgeting under his grasp, trying to make him let go of me. "Isn't Phoenix supposed to be destructive? I mean, you should fear me."

I felt his breath tickling my neck and I shivered slightly, involuntarily stopping all the wiggling that I was doing, as he chuckled. "Me? Afraid?" He let me go, but grasped my wrist. I saw Phoenix smirking at me, clearly enjoying the scene. "You must be dreamin' Phoenix. We're only taking you to Professor to find a way to kill you. I don't believe all the shit you told me. And… if I haven't made myself clear… don't even try to run away."

I gulped again, this time… because I knew Logan didn't understand. And anyway… maybe this was the way it was supposed to end?

God. What did I ever do wrong? First, the guy whom I love doesn't love me back and when he does… its only when I'm not even in my own body. So, he falls for someone completely different.

Even though Phoenix said otherwise… that Logan had feelings for me… and then, Logan did kiss… my lips… admitting to the fact that he did in fact have feelings for me, I won't have my happily ever after.

Now, however, Phoenix was going to enjoy my happily ever after with the guy I loved while the same guy would kill me off, thinking that I'm an enemy.

How can everything become so complicated in so less a time?

It would be like Phoenix said. Logan won't know the difference.

Or wouldn't he? Of course Phoenix is somebody totally different from who I am. And Logan should, essentially, love the person that I am on the inside. So, does this mean that at some point of time… Logan would know his mistake?

But it'd probably be too late. I could probably be dead by then.

But then… there was hope. Professor would find out the real deal and tell everybody the real truth. He would know.

He cannot not know.

Shit, I'm going insane.

"Let me go," I said, struggling against his hold, trying to wriggle my hand out of his grasp. "I'm not running away. I've never been able to outrun you anyway."

Logan smiled at me. A scowling one. "Don't even try to act with me. I'm not going to fall with your dewy eyes or begging hands. You're gong to die today Phoenix. For real."

I continued to stare at Logan. He wouldn't ever know. I felt tears pricking at my eyes but I was willing them to go away. 'Dewy eyes', Ha! He was still going to think that I was trying to trick him with my tears.

I was still fidgeting with his iron–like grip, when I burst out. "You know what, Logan? Every time, I hope… I wish that somehow… this time it would be different. I don't know why I even try because really… I'm tired of it. I'm tired of you… my pathetic life… my stupid powers… Everything." I brought his hands to my throat then, the ones still holding my hand. "Kill me now."

Logan looked at me with sympathetic eyes, his jaw clenched as he drew out his claws. I couldn't understand the sympathy… but then again… Maybe it was because I looked pretty much like Jean, right now.

I felt his pointed claws impossibly close to my throat, when Phoenix shouted from behind. "Do it Logan! Do it!"

But then, he retracted his claws. "No," He told her, whirling around. "We should take her to Professor. I cannot fail this time."

Phoenix looked at Logan with hurt eyes before finally leaving the room.

I turned to follow her, only Logan pulled me back, his grip still tight on my wrist. "No running away!" He said in a slightly higher voice than normal.

"And I told you!" I shouted back. "I'm not–"

But I couldn't complete.

Because suddenly Logan kissed me.

It was only a peck, but I froze all over. Everything stilled as his lips stayed over mine for a fraction of second. My breath hitched as I closed my eyes, shivers running down my body. The fingers of the hand that was clutching mine wrapped around mine, pulling me in. I wanted to clutch him to me and pull him closer, wanting to kiss him fully. But he didn't allow me to do it. He pulled away too quickly for me to even react.

He placed a finger over his lips, indicating me to keep quiet as he tucked a strand of the red hair falling in my eyes… Dr. Collin's eyes, behind my… her right ear.

In answer, I only nodded, still dazed from the feel of his lips on mine. There was definitely alcohol involved before he came here because I could taste it on his lips. My guess? Beer.

And then, he pulled me forward as my heart did somersaults in my chest and my mind screamed at me. Happily.

Because he knew.

Logan knew.

I smiled involuntarily as I heard a gruff, "Start walking," from him.

I followed, still smiling.

Because the first time in so many years, I felt as if everything was going to be alright.

All because… somehow… Logan knew.

.

So? How was it? Finally, the kiss!

I'm so excited to hear your reviews on this one. Tell me your thoughts!