Jack led the pack as they bolted through the enormous crowds, more terrifying then anything he'd ever seen. As they ran, he saw clowns and demons and devils and pirates and knights and ghosts. Most of the women seemed to be whores, and there were a lot of people running around with velvet cloaks in brilliant colors. The further into the crowd Jack got, the more he was starting to believe they were all dead, and this was hell.

Eventually, after zig zagging slightly, they came to a large park, filled with brightly lit sausage stands and other various venders. Jack slowed a bit, only to have Blink run into him, sending him flying. A moment later, Blink landed on Jack when Mush ran into Blink. Mush fell when Skit tripped on a tree root, and went flying into him, the both of them landing on top of Blink and Jack. Race stumbled, but managed to stay upright, while David looked down at the rest of them, arms crossed, as though the rest of them were a tired comedy act he'd seen too many times.

"Get off me!" Jack managed to gasp, and eventually managed to get to his feet after the others got off of him. "Did we lose 'em?"

"I think so." Skit glanced around, worried.

"What the hell was that about?" Blink wanted to know, shaking his head.

"I think we're dead. I really think we're dead." Mush sounded seriously shaken, and he did not look his usual cheerful self.

"There wouldn't be crazy whores in heaven, ya idiot." Race snapped, looking concerned. Jack knew he was pretty religious, but a bit lax about actually going to church.

"Maybe it's hell." Skit sighed.

"Guys, I think there has to be a more logical explanation here." David was doing that tiresome thing he did where he tried to be the voice of reason.

"That so? Explain all this, then, Mr. Smarty-pants!" Jack finally snapped, beginning to lose it.

"Maybe this is a hallucination. Did you think about that? Maybe we're all just imagining all of this. We did all just eat at Tibby's. Someone might have spiked our food or drinks." David offered, shrugging.

Annoyed, Jack punched his shoulder, hard. "Not a dream, David."

David winced, and shied away, scowling, rubbing his arm. "I didn't say a dream, although a coma is another option. I said a hallucination. A group hallucination. We're in Salem, after all. I had a teacher suggest once that it was possible everyone just hallucinated the events that lead to the women and men being killed as witches here."

"That girl kissed really real, David." Blink shook his head. "No way it was a hallucination."

David sighed. "Well, that's the thing about hallucinations. They seem real. Still, you're right. This is very vivid. I just can't come up with anything more logical."

"Except bein dead." Race grumbled. "If we're dead, then this is real, and we're really dead. And hell is a hell of a lot worse then I thought it'd be. Or better. I dunno. Some of these girls are kinda cute...I could get used to 'em all dressin like this..." He glanced around, and shrugged.

"Anyone notice that there's all these, like, carriages, and they're all movin, only there's no horses?" Mush pipped up, out of the blue, staring at the road that ringed the park.

"I'd noticed, but asumed they just ran like small trains." David offered, moving a bit closer to the road. "I sort of see steam coming from a pipe along the back of them...And several seem large enough to be trains. But they don't have any tracks..."

"David, don't get too close to those things." Jack warned. David, however, seemed to ignore him, and when the small trains all stopped for some reason, he moved closer still, bending down to study the pipe from the back of one of them.

The others sort of followed, Jack at the back of the pack, glancing around behind him. Maybe one of these tiny trains could get them to New York?

The thought hadn't barely crossed his mind when they all started moving again, and the very large one that had been stopped behind the tiny train David was studying began to move, as though the man driving it hadn't seen him. Without thinking, Jack lunged forward, knocking into Race, who knocked into Blink, who shoved Skit, who knocked over Mush, who landed on David, and all of them found themselves under the wheels of the large tiny train.

A shiny metal grill seemed to hit them all at the same time, knocking them all into the tiny train David had been studying, and then onto the ground with loud screeching and the smell of burning.

For the second time that evening, Jack was afraid to open his eyes, although he could sort of gently hear the strains of Lovey Dovey baby, if he listened really closely. The sound of crowds was still there, the chatter of voices, although the strange noise the tiny trains made seemed to have faded a bit.

He just lay there for a moment, before croaking, "Race? Blink? Skit? David? Mush?"

"There had damn well better be cute girls, if we're someplace different." Came Race's voice.

"I think I'll be feelin that metal bit on the front for the next month." Complained Blink.

" You're right, Jack. That hurt too badly to be a hallucination..." Even David sounded shaken.

"Guys! Flamin trolly!" Mush actually sounded excited, however. His excitement caused Jack to open his eyes. What he saw filled him with a sense of relief.

"Holy hell! We're back, boys!" Jack struggled to his feet, feeling as though he'd been hit by a train, or at least a flaming trolly. Which he had been.

"Was it actually all a dream?" David was struggling to his feet as well, and Jack could hear police whistles in the distance, getting closer.

"Couldn't have been." Race was hunting down his hat, which had flown into a nearby alley, hobbling.

"It was so real though..." Blink sighed a bit, and remained sitting.

"Easy for ya to say, Blink. Ya got kissed." Skit, as always, had something to grump about. In this case, he managed to keep from complaining about his left shoe, which he had to put back on, as it had gotten knocked from him.

The trolly had hit them, and thrown them all clear before ramming into the building next to Irving Hall. It had collapsed the first floor wall, and Jack could see the rest of the building was likely going to crumble. Screaming people were struggling over wreckage to get out the front, and Jack could see people on the fire escape along the alley. They were very lucky to not be dead, he realized.

"Ya know...I ain't really feelin like a show to night, fellas." Jack said slowly as he watched the building's bricks begin to fall onto what was left of the trolly.

"Me neither. I wanna go to bed." Mush agreed.

"Lets get the hell back to the lodgin house..." Race got his hat firmly on his head, and patted his pockets for his cigar, frowning when he didn't find it.

As they walked in the direction of Duane street, dodging policemen, and firemen, who were now swarming over the building and trolly wreckage, Blink pipped up. "But what, exactly, did NCIS mean?"

"Huh?" David asked.

"On the girl's shirt. Goldilocks. Her shirt said NCIS. What's that even mean?" Blink shook his head.

"I don't wanna know." Skit said with finality.

"Newsie Comfort Information System?" Blink wondered, out loud. "Nebraska Central Ice Sculptors? Norse Canal Independent Ships?"

Jack and David's voices echoed in unison. "Blink, shut up."

The End!

Author's Note: I'm aware this ended really abruptly. Honestly, I could have made it go on forever, ripping on Salem and Halloween. But it seemed silly, and I wanted to end it, tidy like, without getting -too- campy. I hope you enjoyed it!