Chapter Three

After a quiet evening of playing cards and drinking hot chocolate in the living room, with a fire roaring in the grate and the rain still pelting down outside, Remus had almost lost that churning feeling in his stomach. The fact that Sirius' arm didn't leave Remus' waist through the whole game of cards, and every time he got up to get a biscuit or shut the door to stop the draught, Sirius eyes followed him and gave him his best puppy dog stare until he sat down again.

When Mrs Potter came into the room to announce she was going to bed, Sirius quickly made it look like he was reaching for a cushion, and not cuddling Remus. If Mrs Potter suspected anything, she didn't show it, and calmly announced that she and her husband were going to bed, and if the boys wanted any more to eat they were welcome to it. As she left the room, James turned a pair of excited eyes toward Sirius and nodded. Sirius, seeming to understand James' pathetic excuse for a code, nodded back. Remus looked from one to the other, and then to Peter, who shrugged and started to re-shuffled the deck of cards.

Remus already had a fair idea of what they were planning to do, and he was pretty sure it involved sneaking out of the house, breaking the law of some sort and possibly putting themselves in danger just for the fun of it. He had been trying to put it out of his mind since that morning, and had been rather successful.

Sighing, he slumped down into the couch cushions. That evening had been going so well, and then one look went and ruined it. He was sick of Sirius and James having all the fun, going on adventures without him and acting as though they were in their own secret society of rule breaking. It wasn't fair, and Remus had had enough. Sirius looked at him and nudged his side. "What's up with you, Moons?"

Remus just sniffed and shrugged, not in the mood to explain anything to Sirius. Without actually doing anything intentionally, Sirius had managed to annoy Remus more than he knew was possible, and Remus didn't think that any amount of explaining would make him understand why. Hell, not even Remus quite knew why, and that was what worried Remus most. Ignoring Sirius' slightly hurt look, Remus pushed himself up off the couch and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Sirius' slightly plaintive voice caught him off guard, and he turned and said as casually as he could, "I thought I'd unpack before we go to bed. Just so the room isn't a mess…" he trailed off when he saw Sirius was no longer listening. Instead he had turned to look at James who was whispering something in his ear. Remus took his opportunity and slipped out of the room.

Upstairs, he pushed open the door to the spare room and sat down on one of the single beds. Unpacking was the least of his worries, but he didn't think he could stay in the same room as Sirius without snapping at him or saying something he'd regret.

He was only alone for about five minutes. Sirius pushed the door to their room open and flopped on to his own bed. Remus didn't say anything. Sirius sat up. Remus continued to stare at the opposite wall, silent. Sirius clicked his tongue and swung his feet against the bed. Remus looked the other way.

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Remus, what!"

Sirius' outburst snapped something in Remus, and he swung around to face the other boy.

"What do you mean, what?"

"I mean, what have I done this time?" Sirius words stung a little. Why did he always assume it was something to do with him?

"The world doesn't revolve around you, Sirius, contrary to popular belief."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know full well what it means. Besides, don't you have something illegal and dangerous to plan with James?" He hadn't meant it to come out so accusingly, but now that he'd said it, there was no way Remus could take it back. He was surprised to find he was almost glad.

"Oh so that's the problem is it? You're more than welcome to come, you know! Or don't you approve of our choice of entertainment for the evening?" Sirius' words were mocking, and the tone in itself was enough to cause injury.

Their voices had risen, and Sirius remembered that only a wall separated James' parent's room from theirs. He reached for his wand and was surprised when Remus cowered back against the bed. A lump found its way into Sirius' throat, and he said quietly, "I'm only putting up a silencing charm, Rem. James' parents…"

But Remus turned around on the bed, his back to Sirius. According to Remus, this debate was over.

Sirius let his wand arm fall, and quietly left the room.

…

Remus lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. It had been half an hour since the not-so-silent footsteps of James and Sirius leaving their room had passed his door, and by now they were probably in the middle of their plan to "borrow" the neighbour's motorbike. Remus almost entirely blamed Sirius, as anything involving motorbikes was surely his idea. Lying on his bed, fully clothed, in the dark, was not as much fun as it had seemed a few minutes ago. That was saying something, as even a few minutes ago it hadn't sounded like much fun at all.

Remus sat up and reached for his wand on the bedside table. "Lumos," he whispered, and then carefully made his way across the room. He pushed open the door and tiptoed down the hall to James' and Peter's room. The door was ajar, and through it he could see Peter curled up on the camp bed, reading. He gently pushed open the door and went in.

Peter jumped and sat up. "Remus. Hi." He sounded almost a little frightened, and Remus hastened to give him a small smile, and sat down opposite him on James' bed.

"You're not mad still, are you?" Peter still sounded a little wary, and Remus sighed.

"No, I'm not. But what makes you think I was angry in the first place?"

Peter had the decency to look a little guilty, before mumbling, "Me and James… outside the door… didn't mean to hear, you were rather loud…"

Remus didn't need to hear the full sentence to get the gist of what Peter was admitting to. He lay back on the bed with a groan. Peter looked up with an apologetic expression.

"We honestly didn't mean to intrude or anything… You sounded really angry, Rem. Like, really angry."

Remus looked up at Peter, who was fidgeting with his sleeve and looking at his knees. Remus sat back up, figuring that he could confide in worse people than Peter. "I wasn't angry, as such, just annoyed. And a bit upset. And by the end of it I guess I was angry."

"Why?" Peter's question should have been an easy one, but Remus didn't actually have an answer for it.

"I… I don't know. I'm just tired of Sirius being so reckless, going off and doing things with James all the time. I'm worried that he'll get in trouble. He never thinks ahead and Merlin knows what they're getting up to…"

He trailed off when he caught sight of Peter's face.

"What!"

Peter just looked away and then said quietly, "It sounds like you're jealous."

There was a long silence.

"You know… maybe I am." Admitting it hadn't been that bad, thought Remus. Maybe Peter should become a counsellor.

"He loves you, Moony. Sirius does, I mean. He loves you, not James."

Peter said it with such childlike innocence that Remus had to smile. "I know he does. But still. It would be nice to be included…"

Peter sighed. "I know how you feel there. They were talking earlier, just after you'd gone upstairs and they thought I was in the kitchen. James said, 'Shall we take Moony and Wormtail?' And Sirius said, 'Maybe not Peter. And definitely not Remus.'"

And suddenly, the feeling was back. Worse than ever.

Remus choked back the lump in his throat and got up off the bed. Peter put a hand out to stop him. "I didn't mean to tell you that! I'm sorry Rem, don't get mad at Sirius because of me, it just came out…"

Remus turned back to the bed and gave Peter a small smile. "I won't bring you into it, Pete. But thank you. For listening and… stuff."

Peter looked relieved and picked up his book again, and Remus slipped back out into the hallway. Remus took back his revelation about Peter becoming a counsellor.

Then his thoughts turned back to Sirius. How could he? Why would Sirius just flat out refuse to let him come? He knew sleep would be impossible, and casting a quick Tempus told him it was almost a half hour past midnight.

Food. Chocolate in particular. In times of trouble, that always seemed to help. So, holding his wand aloft, he softly descended the stairs.

…

The kitchen door was ajar, and a soft light spilled through the gap. Remus pushed it open lightly and stepped into the warm kitchen, and let out a gasp.

Sitting at the table, wearing a dressing-gown and blue fluffy slippers, was Mrs Potter. It was too late for Remus to just slip back through the door, and to his amazement, Mrs Potter didn't even look cross. In fact, she was smiling at him.

"Hello Remus. Would you like a hot chocolate?"

Remus stood gaping, and then remembered himself. "Y-yes. Please. Hot chocolate would be lovely."

Mrs Potter stood up and busied herself at the counter. "Sit down, love."

Remus did so, and was soon handed a steaming mug of warm, chocolaty goodness.

"Can't sleep?" Mrs Potter's voice was gentle and knowing as she sat down opposite him, and Remus had the feeling she knew more than she was letting on.

"Something like that." Remus admitted. "You too?"

A small smile appeared on the woman's lips, and she replied, "I thought I'd stay up to make sure James and Sirius got in alright."

Remus swallowed. "You… you know about that?"

A small laugh escaped her lips and Mrs Potter said, "Of course. Mothers know everything."

Taking a small sip of his hot chocolate, Remus wondered if she knew anything about his own evening. Later Remus would wonder if she was, in fact, a Legimens, because her next question was, "Did you resolve things between Sirius and yourself? I sense it was a little more than a lover's tiff."

Remus didn't quite know any other way to answer that than with the truth. "No. He left before we could come to any sort of agreement." And then, "You know about me and Sirius, too?"

Mrs Potter laughed quietly again and said, "Sirius is about as subtle as a flying brick. I knew well before I ever saw the two of you together."

Remus smiled in spite of himself. That was Sirius, alright.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Remus looked into Mrs Potter's face, which held a striking resemblance to that of her son, but contained something softer and decidedly motherly. This, perhaps, is what made Remus spill the whole story of the letters, his jealousy, the feeling left out of everything, and his confusion at feeling that way. The whole time Mrs Potter sat silent, just listening.

When he'd finished, she took a long breath and then let it out. "Remus, it's normal to be jealous. You only started feeling this way, though, when Sirius came to stay here?" Remus nodded. "Do you think it was because you would rather Sirius had come to you than James?" Remus, after a moment's hesitation, nodded again. "That, I can completely understand. But you should know that Sirius has not gone a day without mentioning how much he misses you, or how much he wishes you were here. I think that alone says more than any advice I can offer."

Remus sighed and nodded. "Thank you, Mrs Potter. For listening and understanding."

"You're welcome, Remus. I can tell you're still far from satisfied, but I think Sirius must be the one to set them right, mustn't he." For what seemed like the hundredth time that evening, Remus nodded, even though it wasn't strictly a question. Mrs Potter had a way of seeing right through him, he thought.

Getting up from the table, Remus put his empty mug by the sink. Mrs Potter smiled at him and said, "See you in the morning, Remus. Sleep well. Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end."

Remus chuckled and replied, "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. Goodnight, Mrs Potter."

With that, he slipped out of the kitchen and back up the stairs. Peter's light was off, so he pushed open his own door, undressed, and climbed into bed. With a sigh, he turned over and drifted off into sleep.

AN: Sorry for the wait everyone, but this chapter took a little longer to write, and for the past couple of days I just wasn't in a writing mood. But I was tonight, so here it is! :) This chapter is for HermioneGrangerisME, as I promised her something to read when she gets back! :) Hope you enjoyed it, reviews are much appreciated (hint hint) ;) Next one will be up... as soon as I can, which will be sometime this week! School goes back tomorrow, you see. :( *cry* So yes, thank you for all the positive comments on it! It's you that made me keep writing. More soon, promise. (And yes, things get decidedly better for Remus. ;)