Chapter Four

It was the trying-to-be-quiet-but-failing opening of the bedroom door that woke Remus. The door was half open, and, still fuzzy from sleep, his brain could make out the whispered voices of James and Sirius. Then a door opened further down the hall and James' voice disappeared, and his own door was pushed open just enough for a person to slip through.

Sirius made his way across the room in what Remus could only imagine was his attempt at sneakiness. First he shut the door with a noisy click, and then walked into the corner of his own bed, followed by a quiet swear word that, had Remus been awake, he would have scolded him for. Instead he just rolled his eyes. Sirius climbed over his own bed and then sat on the edge of it, his silhouette visible in the half-light. After a couple of seconds, he stood up and stepped towards Remus' bed. Kneeling down beside it, Sirius laid a tentative hand on the quilt and whispered, "Rem, are you awake?"

Remus debated feigning sleep just to avoid the inevitable conversation that was sure to follow his "waking up." But he knew deep down that doing that would solve nothing, so he took a deep breath and replied softly, "Yeah, I'm awake."

Sirius moved his hand up to stroke Remus' cheek, but Remus caught it before it got there, holding it by the wrist and said, "I'm sorry for yelling earlier."

Sirius sighed. "Me too, Rem. And technically you weren't yelling. Only almost."

"Still, I am sorry. You didn't do anything wrong, and I took it out on you."

"Well it's done now, and if you're willing to forgive me, I'll forgive you."

"Deal." Remus sat up in bed and reached for the bedside lamp, flicking it on. The soft light filled the room and allowed him to see Sirius properly. He was kneeling beside the bed, dark eyes soft and hair perfect as always. He was wearing his slightly faded leather jacket that he'd acquired, partly because he'd liked it and partly because it annoyed his parents, and giving Remus the full on puppy dog eyes. Against his will Remus found himself biting his lip to hide a smile. He reached down and grabbed Sirius' jacket collar and hauled him up onto the bed. Sirius complied and then sat facing him.

"So, do you want to talk about whatever made you so upset?"

"Is this one of those questions that isn't actually a question, and you're going to make me talk about it anyway?"

"I don't know, was that?"

Remus sighed. "Seriously, Sirius," and then stopped as Sirius gave a snort of laughter at his horrible pun. Instead of finishing that sentence, Remus leant forward and pressed his lips to Sirius' and all thoughts of discussion were forgotten as their lips moved together. After a couple of minutes, Sirius moved his kisses to the section of Remus' neck exposed above the dip of the old t-shirt he wore to bed. Remus supressed a groan and reached blindly for his wand, and muttered a silencing charm. Better safe than sorry, he thought.

As Sirius' kisses turned into tongue swirling and gentle biting, Remus said spoke softly.

"I was jealous."

Sirius sat up suddenly and looked at the boy underneath him. An expression of slight amusement and genuine bewilderment lined his face, and he said, "Jealous? Of who?"

"Well, James I suppose…" Remus trailed off, unsure as to whether Sirius would understand.

"But why would you be jealous of James? It's you I love, Rem. You don't honestly think there's anything between me and James do you? I would have thought the way he chases Evans would be enough of a clue to his sexuality…"

Remus struggled to sit up, and Sirius moved off his legs so he could. Leaning back against the wall, Remus debated whether he made the right decision even bringing it back up. Too late now, he thought.

"I was jealous because you went to James, not me, and because all week I've been getting letters about how much fun you two were having, and it made me all the more annoyed that I couldn't see you." Sirius opened his mouth as if to speak, but then closed it again as Remus continued, "Let me finish. Look, I know it's hardly your fault, but you asked so I'm telling you. I'm jealous of anyone who gets to spend time with you, Sirius, and I can't help it. Feel free to laugh at me or think it's silly, but that's the way it is. Sorry."

Sirius just sat there for a few seconds after Remus finished talking, and then let out his breath in a rush.

"Firstly, what makes you think I'd laugh at you? If that's the way you feel, then that's the way you feel. Secondly, I came to James' because it was closer, and because I didn't know how your parents would react to having a homeless 16 year old turn up on their doorstep. Besides the fact that he is in a relationship with their son. Thirdly, did you keep the letters I sent you?"

Remus wrinkled his brow in confusion. "Yeah, I kept them. They're in the bottom of my trunk actually. I… I didn't want my parents finding them while I was gone."

"Perfect. Get them out."

Remus, still puzzled, slid out of bed and opened his trunk. Rummaging around in the bottom for a few seconds, he pulled the handful of letters out. Then, with cold feet and still a little confused, he sat back down on the bed and drew his knees up to his chest in the chilly night air.

Sirius held out his hand and Remus gave him the letters. Unfolding it, Sirius began to read aloud.

Remus,

I am just writing to you to tell you I

miss you a lot and wish you were here. James' place is great, but it's not the same without

you. It's almost midnight, I know, but I can't sleep and there is nothing I would

like better than to change into Padfoot and go for a bit of a walk. That would be

crazy though, since James' parents would surely notice a strange dog walking around the house.

And anyway, it wouldn't be the same with just me. Peter is coming to stay for

the

next week or so. Wish your parents could give you up for at least a few days, it's about

time the Maurauders got back together!

I can

see into the neighbour's garage from my window, and there is a smashing motorbike there!

You probably wouldn't approve of my "borrowing it" though, so I won't (yet)!

I think James wants to go flying tomorrow, lucky I brought my broom. I

will let you know how it goes. Argh I wish I could

kiss you right now, I do miss you Rem. But I said that, didn't I. Sorry if this letter's starting to bore

you, cut me some slack, it's late!

So anyway, this was only meant to be a short note, I need sleep and it's

hard enough waking up at a decent time as it is! I hope

you'll be awake to get this. You'll probably

be asleep. The holidays are a nice change from the

breathless rushing around we do at school. (Well, you anyway. We others don't bother.) Good thing

for us that you do though, otherwise we'd all fail every class! Ooh,

a moth just flew into my eye! That hurt… Maybe that's telling me to go to bed. Maybe next

week you can come and see us?

I

Love

You Moony, write soon. Xxx

Remus listened to Sirius read, and the reason for it was becoming no clearer. "Is there something I'm missing?"

Sirius smiled and handed the letter back.

"Did you notice my interesting spacing of words?"

Remus raised his eyebrows. "I did actually. Was that from lack of sleep or were you just trying to be creative?"

"Try reading the first word of every line." Sirius said with a small smirk.

As Remus read through the letter, the meaning became more apparent. Then he picked up the next letter and read that too. After reading first word in every sentence in four of the letters, he put them back on the bed and looked up at Sirius, who was wrapping and unwrapping one corner of the sheet around his finger. His eyes looked up into Remus' and he grinned.

"Creative, right?"

Then Remus laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed, because only Sirius would be both clever enough to put a code into a letter, and dumb enough to not explain the code beforehand. Sirius just looked at Remus laughing, and shook his head, smiling.

"Remus, you're a mess. One minute you're so down it's frightening, and then you're back to laughing at my romantic revelations? Charming, that is." When Remus gave no reply, Sirius leaned forward and grabbed the other boy's wrists, pulling him into a kiss. Remus gave in easily and soon they were lying back on the bed, Sirius propped up on his elbows above the sandy haired boy. Remus had stopped laughing, and then when Sirius pulled away he seemed to remember something.

"Sirius, one more thing. Peter said he heard you and Prongs talking earlier this evening, and when James asked whether you should take me and Peter, you said, "Maybe not Peter, and definitely not Remus. Why?"

Sirius swallowed and gazed down at the hurt looking boy under him. "It's going to sound silly."

"And mine didn't?"

Sirius sighed.

"Because, Remus, you're far too special to be out stealing motorbikes at one in the morning."

"Special?"

"Yes, special. It's ok for me and James, because it won't matter if we get hurt, or get into trouble. Peter, I said no to because he would merely get in the way. No offence to him of course, but you know it's true. You, however, I can't allow it. There is no way my Moony is to be out riding motorbikes in the dead of night, it is far too dangerous." His voice had put on a strict, almost parental tone, and Remus would have found it utterly hilarious if the situation had been different.

Still, he was relieved to know the reason, however weird, behind Sirius' words, and found himself smiling up at the dark-haired boy.

"So it's ok for you and James, but not for me?"

"That's right."

"That doesn't seem very fair."

"No, but life isn't fair."

"Have you ever thought that I might feel the same way about you? Who says I like it when you do something as dangerous, not to mention completely illegal, as that?"

"I… no. I didn't think of that. But it's different. I'm me, and you're you. You're… delicate."

Remus couldn't hold in the snort that escaped him at Sirius' use of 'delicate.'

"Thanks, Pads. Much appreciated."

"You're welcome, Rem. And you know that's why I love you, right? Because you're you, and I'm me. And were made for each other."

And with that, he leant down and kissed Remus, partly because he couldn't stand another minute of wasted time not kissing, and partly just to shut him up.

Soon the kissing turned to not very subtle groping by Sirius, and soft moans of delight from Remus. Remus' pajama top found itself thrown to the floor, and Sirius' leather jacket and t-shirt soon followed. Remus' pants were yanked down and thrown aside, and Sirius' were discarded (a little more gently as it was Remus doing the discarding) to the other side of the room.

As Sirius' hand dropped to stroke Remus' length, Remus wove his hands into the other boy's hair and sucked on his neck. After about a minute of teasing and pulling, Remus was breathing hard and arching into Sirius' hand. He was close, but then, just as quickly as he had started, Sirius took his hand away and sat up. Remus gave a little whimper at the loss of contact and choked out, "Sirius, why'd you stop?"

But Sirius had picked his up wand from the floor and muttered, "Accio jar." A small jar of something freed itself from Sirius' bedside table drawer and hurtled through the air towards the bed. Sirius caught it deftly and unscrewed the cap. Remus, brain still fuzzy from the previous activities, watched in bemusement as Sirius, still holding the jar, crawled back up the bed toward him. Eyes locked with Remus', Sirius said in a voice barely bigger than a whisper, "Do you trust me?"

Remus gulped and nodded, "I trust you."

"Good. Now bend your knees up."

"What? Why?" The last word came out as more of a squeak, as Sirius dipped one finger into the jar and then moved it down to circle a place Remus wasn't expecting. Sirius was leaning forward over him, his breath warm on Remus' shoulder. Remus was still painfully hard, and had to admit that the tiny circles Sirius was drawing over his entrance felt deliciously good.

Then Sirius spoke. "Rem, before, when we were fighting and I went to pick up my wand, you didn't think I would actually hurt you, did you?"

Remus, still immersed in waves of gentle pleasure, opened his previously closed eyes and look up at Sirius.

"I-I… no. It was just a reflex. We were fighting and I was mad and upset and… No Sirius, I don't think you'd ever hurt me on purpose."

"Good. Believe it, because it's true. I swear to it."

Remus closed his eyes again and gave a gentle moan of pleasure, and then Sirius asked again, "So do you trust me?"

"I already answered that one. Of course I do."

"Good, which means you won't mind me doing this…"

Gently he slipped the finger that had previously been circling Remus' entrance, inside him. Remus tensed and gave a little yelp of pain, and then tried to sit up. Sirius put his other hand on Remus' shoulder, holding him down. "Calm down, does it really hurt that much?"

Remus tried to look annoyed, but it was hard when Sirius' unexpected movement was bringing him so much pleasure. "It doesn't hurt anymore, but next time it would be nice to have some warning!"

"I did! I asked whether you trusted me!"

"Yeah, but just because I trust you doesn't mean you can just shove your fingers inside of me!"

"I don't see you minding too much really, if that's anything to do by." Sirius smiled cheekily at him and then looked down at Remus' rapidly re-hardening length.

"I didn't say I minded, but you could have asked."

Sirius laughed out loud. "Oh Rem, you make it sound like I popped over for a cup of tea uninvited! It's called spontaneity, and it's meant to be romantic."

Remus didn't reply, and then after a moment Sirius said, in his most polite voice, "Remus, would you mind awfully if I added another finger?"

This time Remus laughed, and Sirius didn't wait for an answer before sliding another finger in. Remus sucked in his breath as Sirius hit a spot inside of him that made his toes curl, and didn't complain when Sirius added a third finger. After only a few more strokes or Sirius' fingers, Remus let out a moan. "Ok, ok, you can stop with the teasing, please Sirius."

"Please Sirius, what?"

"You know exactly what, and I know you want it to, so just do it already. Please."

The last 'please' clicked something in Sirius. He sounded so helpless and longing, lying there on the bed under him. Sirius withdrew his hand, lined himself up and pushed in.

Remus cried out and bit down on his lip as he entered, and Sirius stopped, moving a hand to stroke Remus' cheek and shoulder. He pushed in a little more, and Remus squeezed his eyes shut. Sirius murmured, "Ok?"

Remus just nodded, and Sirius pushed in fully. After holding it for a couple of seconds, he pulled back, and then thrust in again. This time Remus moaned and grabbed for the sheets, bunching them in his hands as Sirius thrust in over and over again, talking softly to him the whole time.

"I love you…Promise me you'll never feel jealous again... I love you, you're perfect and beautiful and I'm yours, fully yours."

Remus opened his eyes again and murmured, "Mine."

"Yes, yours. Completely yours."

And those words pushed Remus over the edge and he came, arching his back and tensing around Sirius, causing him to follow suit.

Sirius collapsed on top of the other boy, both of them breathing hard, and Sirius kissed the spot just behind Remus' ear where his neck met his shoulder. He tasted sweet and salty, and still held the faint smell of orange scented bath soap, and something that was wholly and decidedly Remus. And in that moment, neither Sirius nor Remus could have been happier.

…

The next morning, James and Peter were sitting at the table eating toast when a decidedly smug-looking Sirius strutted into the kitchen. He grabbed a piece of toast out of the toaster and pulled out a chair, sitting down heavily and crossing his legs at the ankles. He smeared jam onto the toast and bit into it, and then seemed to realise that James and Peter were staring at him.

"What!"

James and Peter just looked at each other, and Peter shrugged and went back to his toast. James gave Sirius a suspicious look and was then distracted by Remus' arrival to the kitchen. He came over to the table and stopped when he caught the other boys watching him. Then Peter voiced his query.

"Remus, why are you walking funny?"

Remus blushed scarlet and ducked his head. "I'm not."

James joined in. "Yeah, you are."

"I'm just… sore."

"Sore from what?" Peter, always slightly behind the rest, looked at Remus with a puzzled expression. James, however, looked from Sirius to Remus and back to Sirius, and then seemed to put 2 and 2 together.

"Oh my god…" Slapping a hand to his forehead, James put his half eaten toast down on his plate and rubbed his eyes. "Peter, do you want to finish my toast?"

Peter, still not getting it, gleefully picked up the piece of toast and shoved a giant bite into his mouth. Then, chewing, he looked carefully from Sirius to Remus and back again.

The uneaten piece of toast dropped from his hand and landed, jammy side down on the table. Remus, always the neat freak quickly leaned forward and picked it up, placing it on Peter's plate.

Peter swallowed his mouthful. "Oooooh. I get it now."

Sirius burst out laughing, James dropped his head onto his arms on the table top, and Peter picked up the piece of toast. Remus just shook his head.

Sometimes, he thought, he really did love his friends.

So that's it! :) I'm a bit sad to be finished, and it was only 4 chapters (even if they did get steadily longer and longer!) But yes, as you can see things worked out rather well for Remus, despite the soreness the next day ;) Thank you for reading right to the end, and thank you to those who reviewed! It means a lot :) *hugs for you* Let me know what you thought of the ending, I hope I wrapped it up ok! I'll start something new soon, keep an eye out for it! Over and out xx -K