Thanks for your nice reviews last time! To be honest, I'm sort of dreading them after this chapter :/

(FelipeMarcusThomas—Nothing gets by you, does it? :D)

Chapter Seventeen

We rode through the trees, the horses' hooves thumping softly on the leafy ground. Sunlight filtered down through the newly green canopy, warming my skin pleasantly. Birdsong filled the treetops, and was accompanied by the singing of my maying party. As we approached a meadow, I heard the gurgling of a stream, and brought the merry little party to a halt from my position at the front of the group, seated on Anduril's broad back.

"This looks like a lovely place for lunch, don't you think?" I asked Rilian and the others, over the sounds of happy conversation and singing. They agreed and so we dismounted, setting out blankets to sit on, like a picnic.

I sat with my son, spreading my skirts out around me. We made pleasant conversation with the others while eating the meal we had packed for midday and drinking watered wine from our canteens.

I absently fingered the garland of leaves around my head, set upon my red curls. It was wonderful to be about in May, just to be riding in the woods with friends, rather than in the colder hills of Ettinsmoor, trying in vain to discover the root of the growing unease in the earth. For now we could just relax and enjoy the spring weather and sunshine.

When the rest of the party had finished eating, some of the squires who had come along began to play their flutes and sing old Narnian ballads. I sang along softly, smiling at the carefree manner in which they sang, somewhat tipsily.

This carried on for a while, when I felt the wine's effects beginning to set in, and yawned. I lay back on my blanket, staring up the blue, cloudless sky and listening to the music. Before I knew it, I had drifted off to sleep, and the others, not wanting to disturb me, moved downstream a bit to let me sleep. I remember hearing Rilian laughing at a squire's tale just before I fell asleep.

I was awakened by a sharp, sudden pain in my hand, which, in my sleep, I had stretched out under my head and along the ground. I opened my eyes to see a great serpent-like creature staring at me, its fangs descended. It was a deadly, venomous green and was long and shining, with two strange, short legs to drag itself along the ground. But its eyes were what stuck out to me; though the pupils were vertical like any other reptile, they held something deeper, more than just animalistic instinct. As I took all this in the instant I opened my eyes, a burning, tingling sensation began to creep up my arm from my hand.

I glanced down to see two puncture marks in my palm from the serpent's fangs, and screamed. My hand was deathly pale and growing more painful by the second. The serpent began to glide away from me along the ground, disappearing into the undergrowth as Rilian and the others came running.

Rilian crouched by my side. "Mum? What-?" He caught a glance of the poisonous green monster and drew his sword, rushing after it.

By now, the burning, tingling sensation had spread to my shoulder, and I could no longer feel my hand. It was like a fire had been lit in my blood and was spreading throughout my body, steadily consuming me. The group around me was frantic; several had run off into the trees to search for healing plants, and the others were debating whether to cut my wrist and try to bleed the venom from my body.

My faithful companion Anduril pushed through the encircling ring of people and neighed fearfully. His eyes were rimmed in white as he prodded my limp arm with his pearly horn.

"The unicorn! Look, he's saying to use his horn!" one lady cried.

"No!" I protested, trying to shake my head feebly. I wouldn't let him sacrifice his horn for me a second time.

It was growing harder to breathe now. The venom was stealing its way through my body with a burning, fiery course, leaving numbness in its wake. I took another labored breath and called out for Rilian.

He returned to my side, his face red and angry. "It got away, Mother, but I'll find it, I swear it!" he promised fiercely, crouching by my side.

I managed to take one of his hands in mine, and struggled to find the breath to speak to him. "Shh! No, Mother, you're going to be fine! We'll get you to a physic; just try to be still in the meantime!" Rilian told me.

"No! Listen to... listen to me. I love you Rilian, more... more than anything else..." The poison was burning in my chest; I could hardly breathe anymore. My heart continued to beat, but ever so slowly—thump...thump...thump...thump...

I was dying, I finally acknowledged in my mind. A sudden panic gripped me, pushing back the pain with sudden adrenaline. I had to tell Rilian, he needed to know...

With a gasp, I said, "Rilian... your father... I..." Sobs from some of the ladies. My sluggish heart. Thump...thump...thump...

Blackness began to creep in the edges of my vision and it felt like there was something heavy sitting on my chest, suffocating me. The venom scorched my heart, I felt the heat of Rilian's hand clutching mine, his tears on my skin, mingling with the soft tickle of Anduril's whiskers... Thump...thump...thump.

And then it seemed as if the pain were fading away, growing less. I no longer felt the poison burning my veins, smothering me, squeezing my heart. I felt light as air, and there was no more hurt.

I rose up, feeling better than I had in a long time. I didn't feel too hot, or too cold... I didn't feel much of anything, actually. Rilian's warm hand, or tears, or Andy's whiskers, or the sun warming my skin...

I looked down on them, gathered around my body. I was lying on that blanket, pale and still, my red hair startlingly contrasted against my white skin. The ladies were clutching handkerchiefs to their faces, muffling sobs, while the squires and lords hid their tears and stood there, looking lost and unsure. My silver unicorn was nudging my cheek gently with his velvety muzzle, emitting pained nickers.

And Rilian, kneeling next to me, tears cascading down his cheeks, holding his mother's limp hand and looking so young and vulnerable and lost.

It was strange, feeling emotion without a body. If I had still inhabited mine while looking down upon that scene, my heart would have clenched in grief for my friends and my son. I wanted to go to hug Rilian, to comfort him, but when I tried, he couldn't feel it. It was only as if a small breeze had come and ruffled his hair.

I watched as they wrapped me gently in my blankets and took me home to Cair Paravel. As the sun set in the west and washed the castle in its golden light, the party presented my body to Caspian. I watched as he stood, emotionless and pale and silent as he took it in.

Then he shouted, "Out! All of you, get out!" and they fled from the hall, all except for Rilian, who stood silently in a corner as he watched Caspian, enraged with grief, throw things about, smashing anything he could pick up against the walls, before he collapsed on the ground next to my body, shaking as he cried.

I watched them bury me, surrounded by May flowers and sunshine, in a soft, spring green dress. They arranged me to look like I was sleeping and laid my sword in my hands, like a proper knight. And my husband and son stood silent and pale, with dark circles under their eyes, and the rest of Narnia grieved.

As the funeral ended and I began to follow Caspian and Rilian back to the Cair, a strong breeze began to pick up. I felt it drawing me towards the ocean, but it didn't seem to stir a single blade of grass, leaf, or hair. Only I could feel it, and it took me out across the sea, higher and higher. The ocean was a bluish gray blur, with the occasional speck of green-gray of an island. I wondered if they were the same islands we had visited on our voyage.

And then the sea turned white and I knew that it was the lilies. I passed high above the never-ending wave that Reepicheep had sailed over many years ago.

I came to a gentle stop upon soft, green grass. I noticed immediately that I could feel it, whereas I hadn't been able to feel or touch anything in Narnia. I also noticed that I was no longer just a spirit, just air, but that I was solid and had a body once more. I waited for Aslan to come.

Almost as soon as I thought about it, he arrived, padding softly on his great paws out of an ancient looking forest that I felt I'd seen before somewhere. The air was filled with the melodious songs of brightly colored birds that flitted among the huge trees.

I ran forward to hug Aslan, wrapping my arms around his huge neck and relishing in his soft, golden mane.

"Daughter, you have come home," he said with a smile.

I nodded, still smiling myself. I looked around again at my surroundings. "I feel like I've been here before," I observed out loud.

Aslan merely said, "Perhaps in a dream."

With a blush of shame I nodded, looking down as I remembered. It had been shortly after I had come home from the voyage.

"So I've... I've died," I said after a few moments peaceful silence, saying it like a question.

Aslan looked at me sadly. "Yes, you have."

I looked back west, seeing only hazy blue-white. "So what do I do now?" I asked softly.

Aslan was thoughtfully quiet, looking in the same direction I was. "You may go home. Join your friends and loved ones who have also found eternal peace and life." He turned his golden eyes to look at me again.

But I continued looking west. "I... I should like that very much. But..."

Aslan's eyes were sad, gentle. "You cannot return, Rose. Your body has been put to rest, and you no longer belong to the world of the living."

I blinked away tears, and said quickly, "I know, I know. I know I can't... go back like before. But..."

I was thinking of the serpent, with its strange, calculating stare. Something told me that it wasn't merely ruled by instinct, that it was something more sinister altogether. Its gaze had seemed almost... human.

I swallowed. "I... I don't know if I'm ready to go... on. I feel like there is something in Narnia... I feel like I need to watch over Caspian and Rilian." I finished finally. I wasn't even entirely sure what held me back, but I realized in a few moments that it was fear. Not fear of what lay ahead, but of what I had left in Narnia.

Aslan studied me. "You do not want to go on?"

"No, I want to very much! But I feel like they still need me in Narnia, like there's something I didn't accomplish..." I trailed off, not knowing if what I was saying was the right thing.

I wasn't even sure if I really wanted to do what I was asking for. I wanted to go on to Aslan's country where there was no more suffering, no pain, only happiness and peace for eternity. A place so wonderful I couldn't even imagine it.

"There is evil growing in Narnia," Aslan said. "The unease that you and Caspian were unsure of is only the beginning. Narnia may need help in the future..." He stopped, leaving me to wonder what he meant. Who was to help Narnia?

Aslan continued after a moment's quiet. "You may go back then, as you were before I called you. You will exist only in spirit, and you will only watch over Narnia." Aslan looked at me expectantly.

"So I will be... a ghost?" I asked.

Aslan smiled. "If that is what you choose to label yourself."

With sudden fear, I asked, "Will I be like that forever? Or will I be able to go on eventually?"

"When whatever ties you to Narnia is gone or resolved, then you will be able to come home to my country," Aslan answered.

I nodded. "All right then."

As I went back across the ocean to Narnia, I wondered what kind of help Aslan would send, and what evil Narnia would face. I hoped it wouldn't be as devastating as the times before, and I could have been made sick with worry that someone I loved would be harmed.

I couldn't help but hope that the tie Aslan had spoken of would be resolved soon, and I could go on to His Country. Where there was no heartache any longer.

Ok, please don't sharpen the pitchforks and light your torches yet! This isn't the last chapter obviously, so bear with me! I have my reasons for doing this, as you will soon see. One reason, though, is that I wanted to stick to canon, so... yeah. Don't be too harsh!