Right, so I'm a !#%#^%**$%^#!. Call me whatever you like. I'm a terrible, horrible, little turd who doesn't deserve to have an account here for coldly neglecting her fanfiction. I deserve it all. If no one even reads this, that's justified too. I'll accept any punishment…. Yeah, I feel bad. I don't even have a decent excuse. How did three months go so fast when I promised I'd update quickly (yeah, I feel doubly worse about them).
This chapter isn't even technically finished since it's meant to be the last one. But I just kept feeling so bad and since I've written this much (in several blocks….) I thought I should probably update at least one. Even if next chapter is quite short….. So I hope at least that you can forgive me (and the weird start of this chapter… kinda crap).
Just go read it :O
Chapter 18: Confusions and Clear-ups
Now, Natsume Hyuuga was certainly not the type to stutter. In fact, he prized his beloved ego second only to Mikan and precious friends. By no means would he openly show weakness to an audience of people. He didn't stutter; not unless he was caught completely off guard. Which right now, he was.
"Wh-what's going on here?"
After spending some uneventful time with his unconscious best friend, he felt it was better to leave him be and return. However, the sight that greeted him wasn't something he could call welcoming. His favourite girl was in the arms of his particularly despised senior and was also being touched by one of his best friends, who seemed to be holding onto her arm in quite a sentimental way. Above all this were the kind and admiring looks being cast upon her by the two males and the fact that tears were evident on her cheeks.
No, Natsume wasn't expecting this.
"Ah, eh," Tsubasa turned and blinked, "Natsume?" He read the heat in the air, looked at the figure in his arms, back at Natsume and began to sweat.
Koko also noticed and turned pale. "Here comes the pain all over again," he groaned. "Look man, we're not doing anything wrong."
With an evidently clenched jaw, he asked tensely, "Then what were you doing?"
"Oh, Natsume!" Last to notice was Mikan as she hurriedly dried her tears and replaced a smile. "I-I'm fine, Koko and senpai were just giving me some advice," she chuckled weakly. "You know, a little bit of problem sharing goes a long way. You should try it too sometime, Natsume!"
Natsume watched her straighten up and Tsubasa's arms slip off of her. Something leapt in his gut. Seeing her in foreign limbs didn't settle too well with him. It was almost as if she was going to be gone from him again. He couldn't take that. He could never take that again. In the past two weeks his no longer unrequited love for her had swollen at impossible rates. He constantly had to fight the urge to embrace her at the sight of her face. It drove him crazy but it made him so contented.
But was that enough? The scene before him made him uneasy. Why weren't those his arms around her? Why didn't she tell him? Why the hell was she crying? And then it clicked. "Wait… you're crying!" Natsume said to himself almost in shock. He knew but he didn't register. Why should Mikan be crying? All jealousy and –almost all –possessiveness were forgotten as concern for her replaced all else.
"I'm fine-hic," she unconvincingly reassured with an untimely hiccough. "I wasn't crying…"
Even Koko and Tsubasa had to bury their faces at her appalling lies. "She's right, though, man." Koko stepped in. "She was just getting used to some teenage problems. You know, everyone has that kind of thing right? So good ol' Koko and uncle Tsubasa were kind people and listened."
"Who're you calling 'uncle'?" barked Tsubasa.
Koko ignored him, "We can't leave the whole lot of burden on you, right Natsume?"
"Burden," someone whispered. Mikan's eyes stung again. Down rolled the tears.
"Ah, crap." Koko realised his mistake.
"Good going, kiddo," Tsubasa sighed. "Mikan, you know what he meant!"
Mikan's eyes expanded as her fingers came up to feel her face; tearing again. "Ah! Oh no," she panicked slightly. She honestly didn't mean to cry, it was just the reaction. "I know what Koko meant! More importantly, Natsume, I'm not…"
She saw his face of bewilderment, concern and shock. For someone who hadn't been here before, seeing her crying again probably wasn't the most unsurprising thing. His face didn't look alright at all.
"…a burden." I'm causing trouble for him. First I'm not paying him enough attention and now I'm being making him worried. Mikan didn't know what to do and no matter how hard she willed it within the next few seconds, the tears kept pouring down.
"This is just great…" Tsubasa dictated sarcastically. "Mikan, you're not a burden. There's nothing wrong with you. Right, Natsume?"
"Uhm, hic, yeah, Natsume I'm –" But she was already being dragged away.
The door slammed shut and the footsteps disappeared into the next room. "Off they go…" Koko mumbled as his eyes trailed after him. "It's a bit relieving actually… She was crying randomly again and his thoughts were so confused."
Tsubasa made light of the preceding occurrence as well. He adjusted himself into the chair, "Well, good luck to him."
The door slammed shut audibly, but Ruka didn't wake up. Mikan was in a confused daze. Is this really the price of growing up? I'm not liking these hormones at all… But enough of that! I have to apologize to Natsume, I didn't even know what was going on back there either and now he's worried. "Look, Natsume that wa-"
She was interrupted by a pair of crushing arms around her. They clung incredibly tight but the constricting grip didn't feel all too horrible. It felt kind of good actually, but she could feel his emotions seeping into her… maybe she wasn't the only one with malfunctioning emotions. "Natsu…me."
He grabbed her shoulders and brought her eyes level with him, "Oi, Polkadots. Spit it out already. What the heck is wrong?"
"I-It's really nothing…" she began and looked away, suddenly remembering the whole burden issue again.
"Idiot!" he flicked her on the forehead. She turned to look at him to find a wholly unsatisfied face. "You can tell me you know! I care as much as those guys in the next room, heck, I probably care a lot more! How do you think I feel when you can go and tell them things that you can't tell me? What on earth do you think I'm here for, Polka Dots? You're just gonna make me worry even more if you don't tell me why I walk into a room and find you crying in the arms of two random guys…ah, geez, what am I saying." He put his hand to his head in frustration. "But you get the point, okay."
Mikan's large hazel eyes glistened in dawning realisation. He was right. Natsume was a very important person and it's so much worse to neglect him like that rather than tell him. He knew her well enough to know when something was wrong and not knowing what that was would surely worry him more. Mikan, you idiot! You're making it even worse!
"You're right," she spoke. "I shouldn't feign being okay, I'm too bad at acting not to worry you." Natsume sweat-dropped but didn't contradict her. "They just told me that I maybe wasn't paying you enough attention and then I stupidly thought I was being a burden when those two don't even make sense. In the end, I just made it all worse just then." Natsume's heart broke to see her tearing up again with a pained smile. "Sorry."
"Good. You can trust me." Again he pulled her into a bone crushing hug. Don't make me feel like you're far away. Don't make me feel like I'm going to lose you again. "And quit crying," he teased.
Concealed by Natsume's chest, Mikan smiled. He was warm, like always. Everything was back to normal. She sniffed, "How could I, you big meanie? You flicked my forehead earlier and it hurt." She pouted in the same teasing manner.
"Then we'll fix that." Mikan's heart skipped a beat as he pressed his lips to her forehead. He kept catching her off guard today. But she didn't hate it; cradled in his arms and with a reassuring peck, Mikan concluded this was absolute security. "Better?"
He looked smug to see her blushing surprised face looking at him. However, she did not enjoy the smirk that played on his lips. Pouting once again but with a small sly sneer she retorted, "Maybe if your lips weren't so dry and rough." She giggled at the disbelief on his face.
It melted away too quickly to satisfy her however as he a crafty and even bigger smirk graced his face. "Oh I'll make you regret those words, Polka Dots," he licked his lips dangerously.
Mikan's eyes turned huge as she realised what he implied, "Natsume… I was kidding."
"Doesn't stop me from having to prove myself," he leaned in closer with hungry eyes. She tried to squirm away but she was locked in his two-faced embrace. His face was getting closer and she couldn't escape his alluring crimson pools. She was hypnotized and frozen. The last thing she could do was close her eyes, but that was as much a sign of resignation as it was of retreat. A low chuckle was heard from the self realised victor. His breath was on her lips and she braced herself…
"Am I… interrupting something?"
Natsume cringed while Mikan's eyes shot open. "Ruka!" Mikan gasped, flushing a deep shade to match her partner's eyes.
The boy next to her groaned and facepalmed, "It could've waited a little longer before you woke up, Ruka…"
Ruka snickered, "Not my fault, man. Besides, knowing you and Koko's reports on your nasty thoughts… would you two lovebirds have even been done by then?" It was Mikan's turn to act like a steampot.
"Probably not," Natsume smirked. Mikan's mouth fell open in incredulity.
Ruka grinned. "I count myself lucky then."
"So," Koko leaned in from beside Mikan, "I heard from Ruka that you and Natsume were just about ready to do it yesterday."
The girl went beet red, "WE WERE NOT! We didn't do anything at all!"
"Thus 'about to'" he pointed out gingerly.
"No! I swear on Narumi-sensei's violet cardigan!"
"That's pretty convincing… but still."
"Urgh! Natsume! Tell him nothing happened."
"Hn," the boy on her other side merely smirked.
"You're a dirty kid, you know that right?" Koko noted from his thoughts.
"Shut up."
"NATSUME!"
"Alright, alright, calm down, Polka Dots." He turned to Koko, "Cut the idiot some slack with the teasing. Only I can do that. You could probably hear our thoughts from down the hall yesterday anyway, you'd know exactly what happened whether we liked it or not. God knows what you told the Shadowfreak."
"Right," he returned sheepishly, "and my observations yesterday show that you were this close to following through with you intentions of –"
"Koko!" Natsume barked. "You just got discharged from the hospital this morning; don't go asking to go back so soon."
"Heh, sorry, it's just so much more fun to tease you than Mikan," before Natsume could grab him, he bolted out the door. "Gottagobye!"
"Why, you!" Natsume got up and rushed off after him leaving Mikan still a bit red sitting there alone.
Huffing, Koko discreetly slipped back into the room. Shutting the door quietly he turned his back to it and slid down to the floor. It was quite a fearful thing, to flee from the fire Alice. Nonetheless, he was alive and uninjured and that was definitely a good thing.
"Koko, you're back!" The sandy haired boy turned to see Mikan still sitting at the table, busy with a pen and paper. "You don't seem too badly hurt either," she grinned, "that's good."
"Heh," he let out a sigh and picked himself up to stand next to her, "watcha been doing?" He stared at the small piece of lined paper beneath her hands to see it somewhat empty. There was writing on it, but most were incomplete and scratched out, nothing seemed to have been deemed appropriate.
The girl looked at her paper also and frowned. "It's horrible, Koko," she cried, "I still can't think of a present for Natsume - that I can afford. His birthday is already tomorrow!" Her head slumped on the table in resignation.
"But from what I recall, you were always good at these things. Remember his birthday when he turned eleven? You had the photo idea and it was brilliant, cheap too," he pointed out, "he said it was stupid but I know for a fact he was secretly happy."
"That's just it! I can't think of anything; I think staying in elementary for three extra years made me stupider than I already was..."
Koko sweatdropped. "You'll think of something, that guy's easy to crack."
"What do you mean?" she looked up.
Grinning and clearing his throat he began. "He's a simple guy. As I was saying earlier, if Natsume had it his way you," he paused for a second to think twice about his words. An image of Natsume merciless face with killing intent exuding from his strong frame came to mind. I should probably rethink this...
"I- What I was getting as was," he chose his words carefully, "if Natsume had it his way umm..." You'd probably be scared as hell of him... or you'd turn into a monster to which we'd be begging for our innocent little Mikan-chan back. "... well, I'm sure by now you know he's a big pervert right? Let's just say he's committed to you now and would only do that kind of stuff to you...I can't really..."
Mikan looked horrified. What was Koko trying to say? "Natsume wouldn't... he wouldn't... he would." She too sighed in defeat.
"Don't worry, Mikan," Koko tried to reassure, "he thinks about you all the time. I'm sure that kid restrains himself haha. Don't make a fuss out of it. He just really likes you..."
"Restrain himself, huh," Koko glanced up quickly at her face...if she starts crying again... he held his breath. "Well, that perverted fox better!" she said with conviction. Koko exhaled . "Honestly, my heart couldn't handle any of that too frequently..."
Sandy hair ruffled as its owner giggled. "Cute," he commented. "But you've gotta admit, that Natsume is one smooth operator. Makes me wonder if he actually practices. Nah," he said after a brief thought, "he's just a softie, a big romantic behind that cool, arrogant... lethal... THICK brick wall he hides behind."
"Umm..."
"Anyway!" he continued, "I bet he'd be in the same position if you did something like that to him. More of the unexpected, right? In fact, he'd actually be exuberant!"
Mikan raised a confused eyebrow, "What are you talking about?"
"That insecure loverboy keeps complaining that he's getting sick of stealing kisses from you, if you get what I mean." Mikan's head cocked. Koko, sensing the dangerous topic he was treading upon again, tried to keep it light, "Not that he doesn't enjoy any kiss with you a whole lot' so much that he thinks about it every. waking. moment."
Mikan flushed red. "Wait," she double-checked, "so what you're saying is, he'd be happier if I did all that perverted stuff to him? Yuck!"
Koko scratched his head, "Well, not really, that would just make you weird. Please don't do that; I'll have to suffer seeing it eventually. I don't know, maybe a kiss or something. This is getting weird. I'm sowing the seeds for my own mental destruction..."
Mikan scrunched her brows and put on a thinking pout. Suddenly her mouth made a perfect 'O' and she seemed to glow with pleasure. Then her face fell a bit, but only to a look of consideration. Then she blushed momentarily before scrunching her fists in determination. "Whacha got?" Koko asked, although her face was like a storybook.
"I-I've got it! Thanks Koko! You're the best," she rushed out the door and turned right into the corridor, "I know what to get him!"
Right. I can't make any promises except the obvious that I'm gonna finish this story. And that next chapter is definitely last. I don't know if my writing quality's dropped (I think it is has... feels like I've lost my flair now...) but yeah... I apologize if it has. I'm still sincerely hoping you enjoy it. So new readers or old readers (to whom I'm extremely grateful for you keeping on reading this) a review would be nice, even if you are just telling me how horrible I am for not updating D:
Btw, I still do update my profile on my progress in the LAST EDIT section. So if anyone cares, there are some monthly (hehe...) updates there.