Jade broke the kiss. Tori was breathing so hard that the sound of her breath drowned out the orchestra that was practicing down the hall. There was always music somewhere in their school. Tori stopped wearing turtlenecks today, so this was the first time Jade had tasted Tori's neck in a few days. She dropped a couple sly remarks about the turtlenecks, calling Robbie out on one of them. The first day after the night that changed everything was difficult for Jade's character. She came to school and all she could think about was Tori's face whenever Jade pushed her over the edge. To compensate, she was especially mean to Tori.
That hurt.
It hurt Tori, but it hurt Jade more. The circles that she ran over Tori's body meant nothing if she was going to be a bitch to Tori the next morning. Wait, when did she start to care about Tori? When this started, Tori was just a drug to use and forget about... Now she felt like Tori was her comfort food.
Jade put her face into Tori's shoulder, trying not to cry. Jade didn't cry. That wasn't like her. Actually she did, she just didn't show people. Tori had seen her cry, and so had Beck... But they know how that ended. So what was the problem? Why did she feel guilty about treating Tori this way? Tori's hand was on the back of Jade's head, stroking her hair lightly.
"This isn't normal, is it?" Tori whispered. She could talk normally, but oddly, whispering felt appropriate for the situation. "Our relationship, I mean."
Jade pulled away from Tori's shoulder, but kept her hands on Tori's waist. Tori's hands fell to Jade's shoulders, and she stared into her icy blue gaze.
"Is this about Monday?" Jade whispered back, scanning Tori's eyes with her own. Tori shook her head, not breaking eye contact. She would never be able to live with herself if she had hurt Tori or made her feel uncomfortable because of what they did. Damn it, she was caring about her again.
"No. It's about whatever it is that we're doing. Is it normal to hate the person you love?" Tori must have not thought about it much. It was understandable, she did have lots of work, but did she never question this until recently?
"No. No it's not. It's wrong and it's messed up." Jade fell silent for a moment, but Tori knew she wasn't finished. "We're messed up." Jade always added that shade of gray to everything. That deep charcoal gray made everything seem darker. Or maybe she just saw the world for what it really was.
"Why can't we be right?" Tori breathed. Jade leaned closer, pushing her nose against Tori's. "Isn't it better being wrong?" her words slipped out of her mouth and they sunk into Tori's lips.
"I don't understand." Tori bit down on her tongue, feeling stupid for saying that. Jade sighed. She pulled back an inch from Tori and gathered her thoughts.
"It's like a circle. We start out hating, end up loving, and repeat. It's natural." Jade looked down, she didn't want to look at Tori's pleading eyes, "I don't understand it either."
"Jade, I-" Tori was cut off by the sound of the bell. Jade broke away and turned around to collect her bag. "You what?" Jade said, turning around to face Tori. "I, uhm..." Tori trailed off, having lost her confidence to say the words. Jade raised a brow and shot a quizzical look at Tori. The muffled sound of people walking and chattering filled the air, yet Tori's silence was louder. Jade's eyes grew heavy with concern and Tori looked at the wall and mumbled, "Nevermind." She turned and grasped the cold metal handle of the door, but Jade snatched her wrist.
"Tell me." Jade growled. Goosebumps rose on Tori's skin around the place Jade touched. Tori let go of the door handle, and fell back against the wall. Even in the dark, she knew this room so well... If you can call it a room. It was a sanctuary for her. A joint haven she shared with Jade. When she felt personal turmoil, she came here.
"I'm confused... It's like... Like you're a super hero." Tori began. Jade chuckled and dropped her bag on the ground, knowing she wasn't going to make it to next period. "Like you have this secret identity, I'm just supposed to accept. I don't like it." Jade sat down on the floor and sighed. She patted the floor and Tori sat down next to her.
"What if I said you have to accept it?" Jade found the half empty cup of coffee she had bought in with her. It wasn't hot anymore since they had been kissing for quite a while. She drank it anyways. "I'd say hell no." Tori responded stubbornly. "So you'd leave me?" Jade challenged.
"No." Tori said softly, but changed to a firmer tone, "But I'd want an explanation." Tori was hard headed, and never gave up easily.
"I like that about you, Vega. You put up a fight." Jade smirked, drinking her coffee, "It's no fun if the other person bends over backwards for you." She trailed off, gathering her thoughts before trying to explain her feelings. "Vega... Tori, I just-"
Something happened in that moment that neither one of them expected. It was simply a flubbed line, and for a brief second, Jade showed weakness for just a moment, and a back door was revealed to Tori. A secret passageway that let Tori in behind Jade's walls. As soon as Tori saw that kingdom beyond those mental blocks glinting in Jade's eyes, she knew the answer.
"It's because you care about me." Tori stated. Her voice was so quiet, and the statement was so simple. It made the problem Jade had blown out of proportion in her head seem so clear and simple. Jade looked up from her coffee and stared into Tori's brown eyes. The innocence Jade saw made her choke. How could Tori be so sexy and daring, wanting to dabble in the darker things of life one moment, then be so sweet and innocent the next? Tori leaned closer to Jade. Tori's mouth was so close to Jade's ear. Her heart pounded against her rib cage, and her breathing became shallow. "Isn't that the reason?" Tori whispered.
Jade nodded, holding her coffee tightly. Listening to her blood rushing and her pulse pounding. "I break hearts, Tori." She swallowed, looking away. "I broke Beck's heart... I'll break your heart too. In some way, I'll screw it up, and if I do it while we're like this, you'll be able to convince yourself it was all just a very bad dream."
"Jade. I've done things with you I can never forget. You're going to be a big part in my life, no matter how I remember you. Can you just take a chance on me? Please?" Tori gave a cheesy grin that made Jade want to laugh, but she couldn't laugh. This was serious. She was very controlled, and her emotions were in check… and she saw those three eyed cows this morning. Jade was an emotional wreck, she didn't show it of course. Jade turned to see the side of Tori's neck. Tori's head tilted slightly so she was locking at her out of the corner of her eyes. Jade's eyes went to Tori's lips and then slid up to the girl's eyes.
She wanted to say yes. She wanted to kiss Tori in the hallways, and take her hand when she walks. She wanted every taunt and tease to be flirty and fun instead of mean and malicious, but she can't. Her father is homophobic, and her mother hates everything she does. Jade didn't care about her reputation, but she's pretty sure there would be lots of rumors. She brought the girl back into focus and was ready to say 'No.' Until she saw Tori's eyes. Saying no would be like kicking a puppy. A poor, homeless, recently unemployed puppy.
"Vega... My dad, my mom, the school…" Jade stuttered, trying to get the words to come together. "Jade. Yes or no?" Tori whispered. Tori's hand slipped on to Jade's leg, making her breath hitch. Jade made a decision right then and there. One that was pretty rash, and sporadic, but changed everything between them forever.
"Leave. Go to your locker." Jade commanded. Tori's heart dropped. She nodded and kissed Jade on the cheek. This was her decision, and Tori accepted that. Tori stood up, picking up her bag and walking to her locker. She clicked her combination and opened her locker. On the locker door there were photos of the gang. Her favorite picture was the one of her, Jade, and Cat at Karaoke Dokie. She looked into the mirror and fixed her hair. She could still feel Jade's fingers running through the brown locks.
Trina's annoying voice dragged Tori out of the fantasy running through her mind like a movie reel. "Tori, I need a dollar." Tori sighed, "What for?" Trina made a loud groan and stomped her foot. "Pizza! Just gimme!"
Tori groaned mockingly and pulled out a dollar. A loud, familiar voice yelled from behind her, "Vega!" She spun around and met Jade's piercing gaze. What insult could she possibly have after what she had just done? Tori's thoughts were interrupted by Jade's lips.
On hers.
In the hallway.
In front of everyone.
One of Jade's hands was on her face. One of Jade's fingers rubbed circles behind Tori's ear. Her other hand grasped Tori's wrist. Tori was far too stunned to move. She was, however, kissing Jade back. Jade knew it too. Tori melted in to the most nervous kiss of her life. Everyone was watching them. Some people were showing obvious disgust towards the not-so-straight display of affection. Others, mostly the boys, were whistling or clapping. But most everyone, if they knew anything about the two girls were paralyzed with shock. If you knew Jade, you know she hated Tori. If you knew Tori, then you knew she kept fighting with Jade. Then here the were, kissing. Jade pulled away from Tori.
Tori was frozen with shock. Her hand that wasn't clutching the dollar had wound into an awkward position where it was gripping Jade's forearm. Jade's other arm took the dollar out of Tori's hand and put it into the hand of the older Vega sister. Trina stammered, equally shocked by the moment.
"Get your pizza." Jade said, leaning around Tori to push the stunned Trina towards the Asphalt Café. Jade pried her arm out of Tori's grip and hooked that arm around Tori's waist, pulling her closer.
"So are you two like… together?" a surprised student in the small group that had gathered said. Others were busy texting on their PearPhones. Jade felt Tori's phone buzz. Tori mumbled something and pulled the phone out. Beck had forwarded a message that had a picture of Jade kissing Tori. A series of question marks followed the forwarded text. Jade's free hand plucked the phone out of Tori's grasp and put it in her own pocket. "Don't worry about that." Jade said.
"So are you?" Another voice said. "I dunno, would you like to go out with me, Vega?" Jade's nose brushed Tori's, reminding them both about their proximity. "Yes." Tori squeaked, still dazed. "Then yes, we are dating." The whole group of people buzzed with gossip. More and more people were clamoring to see if two of the hottest girls in school were still locking lips.
"Let's get to class." Jade whispered. He tugged Tori off and headed towards Sikowitz room after hearing the bell. "Jade, what was that?"
"A kiss and a question." She replied. Tori shook her head, "But… your dad, your mom, the circle… what happened to that."
Jade turned around, pressing their bodies close together once more.
"I don't think I care." Jade said.
"Why?" Tori asked, staring into Jade's eyes.
"Because I'm in love."
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Author's Notes: Tell me what you think? I think I might have one last chapter I can get out of this.