Chasing the Rainbow

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form.

Author's Notes: Something I just want to get off my chest: I'm not pairing everybody up just for the sake of it, and no matter what girl wins, I'm not intending to "console" them with their fanon runner-up prize – I may not be a believer in Ranma/Akane, but I despise Ryoga/Ukyo and Shampoo/Mousse. The reason for the Ryoga and Mousse polls is because I've been contemplating an oft-ignored fact that Ranma is actually something of a matchmaker, who is quite aware that getting the other guys off of his back is most easily handled by having them find a girl. However, as he's not trying to get Shampoo or Ukyo off of his back this time around, he's inclined to look into… other possible consorts. Believe me, the romantic hijinks of the other guys isn't going to be a major plotline, once he's made the initial 'set up'.

Speaking of which, this'll be the last chapter to vote on that little sub-plot. I won't go into details, but currently Ryoga/Anna is in the lead and Nabiki/Mousse is looking to get the "yes" vote.

Chapter 9: The First Cut

"Hey, Ranchan, what's wrong? Aren't you enjoying this?" Ukyo asked her reluctant fiancé. The two of them were on another date; it being the next day since she and Shampoo had had their humiliating final encounter with Hinako, and she had just realized that Ranma was much more distracted then was normal for him. Realizing he hadn't heard her, Ukyo looked upset for a moment, then disappointment was nudged off of her face by a mischievous grin. Her hand delicately snaked up to the back of Ranma's neck and pinched him hard, startling him back to wakefulness.

"That hurt, Ucchan." Ranma complained, rubbing his sore neck.

"So what were you thinking about, Ranma-honey?" Ukyo asked, ignoring his complaint as more air then substance.

"…Promise not to get angry?" Ranma hesitantly queried her.

Feeling surprised, and a little suspicious, Ukyo nodded. "I promise." She told him.

"…I've been thinking of how to break it off with Akane." He finally admitted.

At that, Ukyo blinked in shock; just what was she supposed to say? How had he gone from being on a date with her to thinking of getting rid of Akane? She couldn't help but ask Ranma these questions.

"Well, it's just… you know that my pop and Old Man Tendo are never going to let me break off their so-called engagement as long as there's a chance, in their opinion, that me and Akane can 'fall in love', right?" Ranma began.

Ukyo slowly nodded her agreement; she knew, if only vaguely, how stubborn the two old fools were, and it was something that made her burn with anger: Genma had agreed to marry Ranma to her, he had accepted her dowry; he should be supporting her in the pursuit for Ranma!

"Well, Akane's called the engagement off a number of times…" Ranma continued, failing to notice Ukyo going off into an angry little imagine spot of her own. "But if she wants me back, you know the old men are going to encourage her to get me back, don't you?"

"Yeah… and exactly how does that…?" Ukyo began, and then trailed off as the pieces began to fall into place. "If she has someone else, though, she's not going to want you back, and is going to fight the old men with everything she's got." She proclaimed. It seemed so obvious, in hindsight – hell, she'd tried to pull the same sort of idea off herself, by setting Akane up on a date with Ryoga.

Ranma nodded eagerly. "I really didn't mean to get distracted like that, but I just got caught up in trying to think of how to pull it off. I mean, if it's going to work, I need to find a guy that Akane can fall for."

Ukyo nodded absently, now too caught up in the puzzle herself to feel angry with Ranma. "What's wrong with Ryoga?" She asked. "He's head over heels for her, and she certainly treats him better then she does you."

"Yeah, but Ryoga's got that shyness overload thing going on – he either can't show her how he feels, or he goes nuts at the thought of getting affection from her." Ranma pointed out. "Beyond that, Akane insists he's only a friend to her, though I think that might be because of how frightened she got at the end of that date that Shampoo set them up on."

"When did that happen?" The shocked Ukyo interjected. She certainly didn't remember hearing about that!

Ranma waved a hand dismissively. "Ah, some time ago. Long story. Ryoga got his hands on some waterproofing soap Shampoo bought to try and make her curse less of a problem, there was a… little misunderstanding about how long it lasted, she and I tried to steal it back, and she came up with the bright idea of setting Ryoga up on a date with Akane to really distract him. At one point, Ryoga got the idea that Akane had revealed she felt the same way he did – I have no idea how the hell that happened – and he started chasing her all around the bathhouse, demolishing everything in his path and almost crushing her to death in his enthusiasm."

Ukyo winced. "Eesh. So, she's basically been insisting that she and he are just friends so to keep something like that from happening again?"

"That's what I figure." Ranma admitted. "And that's why Ryoga's out… problem is, there aren't exactly many other choices here. Kuno is…"

"No explanation needed." Ukyo supplied.

"Mousse has that whole obsession with Shampoo going on… which is kind of a pity, because if you think about it, he's probably the sort of guy she'd like better." Ranma continued.

"Yeah, well, he is stuck with the Chinese bimbo. Besides, if he did somehow hook up with Akane, that'd just make her even more eager to snare you, and that's the last thing we want, right?" Ukyo snapped, feeling the familiar sensation of jealousy slithering around her heart again. Even beyond the fact she and Shampoo were rivals for Ranma's heart, she actually rather envied the Chinese girl – though she'd sooner have shaved herself bald and run around Furinkan High stark naked then admit it. The girl was a great fighter, Ukyo's equal in culinary skill, she had a much better figure then Ukyo's and she certainly didn't have any insecurities about her feminity or even her self as a whole.

"…Right." Ranma answered hesitantly. "Anyway, crossing those three off the list pretty much eliminates anyone I really know, and certainly anyone who she might be inclined to trust. Our whole school seems full of crazy perverts, and given how so many of them used to attack her each morning for a date, I'd have to be crazy to think she'd want to go out with any of those losers now."

"You got that right." Ukyo added. The last few days had helped convince her just what sort of horny losers all of their male classmates seemed to be. She didn't think all that highly of Akane, but she had to admit that Akane had way too much pride to try and go out with jerks like them.

"So, you can see why I've been kind of lost in my own head." Ranma admitted. Then he shook his head and smiled at her. "But we've lost enough time; we need to get moving or we'll miss the movie."

After the movie date ended, Ranma wandered the streets, deep in thought as he considered the problem with Akane before shaking his head, "Crap, this isn't gonna work, I need advice from someone… yeah, and who exactly am I going to find to talk to? I don't think I've met one responsible, sensible person since I've come here…"

Lost in his thoughts, Ranma had headed through a small gap in between some stores, which he knew from past experience opened into an empty space backing onto a wall; his plan was to leap up there and start jogging along to help himself think. Without looking, he sprang up… and promptly ploughed headfirst into a solid wall, knocking himself back onto his rear in a rather undignified fashion.

"Ow! Hey, who put that… there?" He trailed off in disbelief, opening his eyes to find the obstacle he had hit had been the wall of a shop. Honest Abe's Wandering Shop, to be precise.

"No. Way. How did? Where? But come to think of it, this might be useful. I mean, the Eye's helped me so far, so maybe he's got some sort of love potion that actually works…"

Picking himself up and dusting himself off before pushing through the door, Ranma grinned at the shopkeeper. "You have a real knack for turning up when I need you, you know that?" He called in a friendly tone.

"It's part of the job." Abe smiled back. "So, what can I do for you?"

"Well... this is kind of hard to ask..." Ranma began sheepishly. "You know how I left here planning on making some changes in the whole love dodecahedron I'm stuck in?" He elaborated.

"I remember, the fact that you're standing here looking a lot more relaxed means that the Eye must be working out for you at least." Abe smiled, "How is that thing doing anyway? No troubles?"

"No problems." Ranma replied. "In fact, it's helped quite a lot. But, I need a bit of help that it can't give me. You see, I don't want to marry Akane, but I don't really want to hurt her. I also have to admit that if she's missing me, my old man and hers won't ever let me try and get together with another girl. You're the best adult I know, and, well..." He trailed off.

"You need a way to get her hooked up with another guy so you can break it off without any worries, am I right?" Abe looked thoughtful, "I do have items in stock that are useful for such effects… but I must warn you that in magic, as in all things, you get what you pay for."

Nodding, Ranma pulled out all of the money he had been able to stockpile. He'd even gone to the trouble of deliberately stepping up his usual bully hunter routine to find thugs and creeps he could mug, just to build up his cash supply. His recent date had cut into what he had, but he was sure he had enough here to buy something suitable.

Looking over the amount Ranma had, Abe nodded, "Okay, you should be able to afford some of the more moderately expensive ones, which should be enough for what you want. Hold on, I'll go get them out of storage." With that he ducked behind a stack of books and vanished. After a few minutes of waiting, Abe appeared from behind a bookcase and placed an ornate case on the counter, "Okay, what about this?" He suggested, handing over a Western-style book (intended to be read from left to right, instead of right to left as was the Japanese way) with a plain red cover, sealed by a heart-shaped lock, and a small design etched onto the front displaying two vague figures embracing

"What is it?"

"Ah, that's known as the Red Book of Secrets." Abe shrugged at Ranma's quizzical look, "No-one knows its real name, because the man who wrote that book went insane after reading what he wrote in it. It is guaranteed to allow Akane to get a boyfriend of her own...so long as she doesn't allow someone else to read it. Anyone save for the owner who reads it is pretty much going to be reduced to a gibbering, sex-addicted mess after the first chapter, the same failsafe that struck down the author."

Ranma bit back the urge to ask exactly how something like this was supposed to help Akane find a boyfriend, determined not to offend the only ally he had, and put it down. With his luck, Nabiki or somebody would go snooping and end up getting struck with the curse.

Evidently, though, Abe took his silence as a sign of displeasure and made the book disappear behind the counter. "Perhaps this might suit better?" He suggested, holding out a ring with a heart-shaped rose bloom design on it.

"What does this do?" Ranma asked.

"The Sleeping Beauty Ring puts the wearer to sleep, while creating a magical lure that will draw the wearer's one true love to them; only a kiss from them will awaken the wearer. The drawback is you might end up sleeping in stasis for a few centuries or more waiting for your true love to appear." Abe cocked his head, "Of course, you don't want to wait that long, do you?"

"Certainly not." Ranma retorted dryly.

Abe promptly took the ring away. "Well, I'm afraid that this is the last item I have that's in your price range." He said, sounding somewhat apologetic, as he held out a puzzle box engraved with images of what appeared to be a man at one end connected to a woman at another.

"So, what's the deal with this?" Ranma questioned, looking it over.

"Journeyman's Romance is a… portal gate, shall we say?" The wandering wizard began.

"So, basically, if Akane uses this, she'll get zapped away to some far off place where she'll meet a guy who's well suited to be her boyfriend?" Ranma interjected.

"That's it, yes. There's a time dilation effect in progress as well; she will return in about ninety minutes to two hours from your perspective, even though several days may have passed on her side of the portal."

"How much?" Ranma asked; this looked like the best option he had available. Abe named a price and Ranma winced; that would be every last yen he had. Still... "I'll pay for it." He said. "But... could I ask you to lure her into coming here and taking it home herself? I really don't need them being able to pin Akane's suddenly finding herself a real boyfriend on me." He asked.

Abe put a hand to his chin, "I think I might have something. Here, give this to her when you get home." He pulled out a small flyer advertising a puzzle-solving contest. "I think you will find this should be all the bait she needs to come and find me."

Ranma smiled gratefully, passed over his money and took the offered scrap of paper. "Thanks. And I don't say something like to just anyone, either." He told the sorcerer.

"I figured you wouldn't, that makes it all the more meaningful." Abe bowed slightly with his usual grin, "Hope this plan of yours goes well, and please come again to Honest Abe's for all your magical needs."

Ranma nodded, assured the wizard he would (this was the first time he could really recall interacting with magic and not being screwed over, after all), then left the shop and hurried home. Fortunately, Ranma got home without any further delays. In fact, he was early enough that he offered to give Kasumi a hand in the kitchen; though the meal was already cooking, she did accept his help in clearing up the remaining mess, particularly as it wasn't unusual for him to do so even before today. Despite contemplations, Ranma didn't give Akane the flyer right away; he figured it would be best to wait until the right moment.

The right moment actually came the next day, after breakfast. The fathers had left the house for some reason or other - Ranma thought they might have been looking into some low-grade tournament to prove their skills; they weren't at his level any longer, but they were still formidable fighters if they got their acts together - Kasumi had gone out to visit a friend, and Nabiki had holed herself up in her room with a new couple of manga volumes. Seeing that the time was right, as now nobody would know that he was the one who had sent her out and so they wouldn't be able to pin any blame on him, Ranma sought Akane out, finding her practicing via breaking bricks in the dojo. "Yo, Akane." He called as she elbow-slammed through a stack of five bricks.

She looked up from amidst the rubble, breathing heavily but evenly from the effort of simultaneously striking so hard and keeping her elbow from breaking. "What is it, Ranma?"

The heir to the Saotome school walked up to her and held out the flyer. "I saw this contest in the marketplace yesterday. Think you can win it?"

His counterpart in the Tendo school furrowed her brow in thought while taking the scrap of paper from him. For an unpleasantly long couple of seconds, time ticked by, before she shrugged absently. "Eh, why not?"

Ranma made a casual gesture of acceptance and took himself over to a distant part of the dojo to start his own katas. He was just finishing up and heading off to bathe himself when he met Akane returning, grinning triumphantly and casually flipping the puzzle box he had paid for the previous evening into the air, catching it in the same hand without looking at it.

"Look what I won! They said I did so well at solving puzzles, they gave this to me as the prize - it's supposed to be even harder then the ones that they had me try." She said happily.

The day passed quietly, Ranma lazed about and watched TV and generally everything was peaceful before Genma and Soun returned from the tournament in a good mood from their victory before lunch arrived and Kasumi looked around, "Oh my, where's Akane?"

"I'll go get her." Ranma 'volunteered'. He knew they'd probably tell him to go and fetch her anyway, and this would be a good way to further protect his "innocence" in the matter. "Yo, Akane! Lunch is ready!" He made a show of calling up to her, even as he walked up the stairs. "Akane? Where are you?" He called again, even as he opened the door to her room and looked inside. There was no trace of Akane, or even the slightest sign of a struggle - the only think out of place was the puzzle box sitting on Akane's bed. She must have been sitting or lying there when she'd solved it and been taken away. Nodding to himself in satisfaction, Ranma headed back downstairs. "She's not up there. I don't know where she went." He told them.

Soun blinked, nonplussed, "That's strange, Nabiki, Kasumi did either of you see her leave?" Nabiki shook her head while Kasumi called out a negative, and by Ranma's reckoning it took barely a second for him to suddenly jump the most logical (for Nerima that is) conclusion, "Waah! Akane's been kidnapped!"

Nabiki sighed, "Again?"

"Hey now, don't you think you've overreacting?" Ranma quickly spoke up. Yes, he did want to cultivate deniability, but this was going a bit too far! Honestly, would they really suspect someone had kidnapped Akane just because nobody had seen her leave the house? ...Okay, so Mousse had tried to kidnap her a couple of times. Cologne had abducted her once, possibly with Ryoga's help. Ryoga had tried to carry her off at least once. The Kunos, for all their talk about "nobility" and "honor", really weren't above such schemes... okay, maybe it wasn't such a ridiculous reaction after all.

Genma immediately leaped to his feet, "Boy, you must go and find her immediately!"

"What? Me?" Ranma blurted, somewhat caught off guard by how fast things were moving out of his control.

"Yes, you!" Soun and Genma shouted as one, and before Ranma could comprehend what they were doing, the two over-excited masters of Anything Goes had jumped up, grabbed him by an arm and a leg each, carried him to the wall and heaved him over it to land painfully on his face in the street.

Sitting up, shaking off the ringing in his ears, Ranma threw a dirty look back at the Tendo dojo. "Alright, already, I'm going, I'm going!" He called back, pushing himself upright and wandering off in the general direction of the places he knew Akane liked to hang out - mostly the shopping center.

Once he'd made a cursory, casual investigation of Akane's favorite hangout spots (at least, the ones he knew about, he tended not to go to the same places she went), he found his way meandering to the Nekohanten. May as well keep up appearances... After all, he didn't need anyone finding out that he was responsible for Akane's "disappearance".

"Welcome to Nekohanten - oh, airen! Why you come here?" Shampoo cheerily called, delighted to see Ranma strolling through the doors of her workplace/home.

"Hey Shampoo. Did you drop by the Tendo dojo and kidnap Akane this morning?" He asked casually.

The Chinese Amazon blinked slowly as she tried to make sense of the question. "You ask that why?" She finally queried.

"Didn't think it was you. What about Mousse? He mysteriously disappear recently?" Ranma asked, nonchalant.

"Just what are you accusing me of, Saotome?" The resident busboy asked angrily. "I've been here all day, working for a living, unlike some freeloaders." He spat.

Ranma kept the grin in place, but the corner of his mouth and one eye twitched warningly. Ranma actually had a number of sore spots, he just didn't blow up quite the way Akane or Ryoga tended to, and being dismissed as a freeloader of the Tendos was one of those sore spots. Well, if Mousse wanted to get personal, Ranma would show him who had the better barbs...

"Well, it's an honest mistake. I mean, how many times have you kidnapped Akane in the past? Let's see... you tried it on her several times after you came back from Jusenkyo, you demanded her as your prize in our first duel... there was that time when Shampoo got caught by Maomolin at the Cat Temple and you glomped onto Akane twice in the space of a few minutes..." Ranma looked intensely at the Chinese boy. "I have to wonder if it's really Shampoo that you're interested in after all..." He finished, suggestion dripping from his words like poisoned honey.

There was dead silence (though Ranma was pretty sure Cologne was trying not to spoil her dignity by snickering) before Mousse finally began spluttering. "Wh-wh-whaaa! What are you talking about, Saotome? I love Shampoo! Don't try and play games with me, Saotome, it won't work!"

Shampoo caught Ranma's sly look and her expression became one that would have made a Cheshire Cat green with envy. "Shampoo think Airen on to something, Mousse do spend too-too much time going after Kitchen Destroyer, make Shampoo think you not serious about Shampoo."

"And doesn't that make you jealous?" Ranma asked, faking sincerity as best he could while struggling with the urge to burst out laughing at the expression on Mousse's face.

Shampoo shook her head with a smile, "Nope, Shampoo think Mousse and Kitchen Destroyer make wonderful couple! Akane destroy kitchen, Mousse destroy house! Is too-too perfect!"

"So, if Mousse was to consider going and confessing his love to her right now, he'd have your blessings?" Ranma pretended to ask casually.

Shampoo looked ecstatic. "Mousse want confess to Akane!? Is too-too wonderful!"

Deciding he had made his point, Ranma turned his attention to the horror-struck Mousse, who was doing his best "Scream" impression. "So, tell me; did you maybe sneak off with Akane to confess to her at last? I don't mind, but her family is worried about where she is." He told the male Joketsuzoku.

"NO!" Mousse screamed out his denial before his overloaded brain finally gave out and, with a whimper, the longhaired teen collapsed like a puppet with cut strings. Shampoo finally cracked up while Cologne shook her head and hopped over.

"As entertaining as the floor show was, Son-In-Law, was there an actual reason for you to come here or were you just bored?"

"Like I just said, Akane left the house without anyone noticing and they immediately leapt to the conclusion she was kidnapped - I wouldn't normally agree with them, but you know what life is like around here." Ranma said, shrugging for emphasis. "I figured I'd ask if you were responsible for her disappearing. Didn't honestly think it'd be true, myself, but it keeps them off my back. Now I gotta go and make like I'm checking out Ukyo's and the Kuno estate, just to keep them happy."

Cologne nodded, "Have a nice day, Son-In-Law." Indicating Mousse, Cologne turned to Shampoo, "Take him up to his room, looks like he's earned a day off it seems."

Shampoo pouted; she wanted to have some more fun teasing Mousse, but complied regardless, grabbing the unconscious teen and hauling him off without a word.

Ukyo looked up as someone pushed through the hangings of her door, smiling with surprised delight to see Ranma again. "Heya, Ranma-honey; are we going out on another date?"

"Sorry, Ucchan, but not today. The old men think somebody kidnapped Akane, so, next thing I know, they're throwing me out and demanding I find her. Don't suppose it was you who did it?" He finished, giving her a playful grin and making it quite evident that he wasn't serious about his question in the slightest.

Ukyo blinked, unable to truly escape her disbelief, then grinned herself and shook her head. "Nope. Where would I keep her if I tried, anyway? And what am I supposed to do with her? Declare I'm gonna hold her hostage until and unless the old men hold a ceremony for wedding you and me?" She drifted off at that particularly delightful mental image, then snapped out of it as a stray suspicion struck her. "Hey... this wouldn't have something to do with what we talked about yesterday, would it...?"

Ranma merely grinned at her, and then departed without a word. All that left was the Kuno estate, and at that his good humor vanished: he hadn't seen Kodachi since that disastrous "first date", and he didn't particularly want to get caught on her home turf. Maybe he'd be in luck and be able to catch Sasuke to "interrogate" him...

And speak of the miniature devil, there was Sasuke doing some minor tasks outside the main mansion, which was good since Ranma did not want to bump into Kodachi or Kuno, if he didn't get lost first. With a small hop, Ranma landed in front of the ninja, "Sasuke, I need to talk to you."

The ninja turned with a small start. "Oh, it's you. Can I help you?"

Ranma raised an eyebrow at the exhausted tone in the ninja's voice, suggesting lots of hard work or long nights without sleep, but ignored it for the moment. "Yeah, Akane's gone missing. Don't suppose she turned up here?"

Sasuke shook his head, physically answering in the negative, then winced as a crash sounded from the mansion. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave now, Mistress Kodachi and Master Kuno have been at each others throats for some time after your...revelation." Ranma winced and was about to speak when suddenly an explosion rocked the ground, followed by lots of gunfire as Sasuke sighed.

"Looks like they've brought out the big guns again." With that, Sasuke bounded off as Ranma watched smoke and flames belch from windows before shaking his head and walking off.

Ranma took his time getting back; he remembered what Abe had told him the previous day, and he was pretty sure that Akane would be home before he was if he took his time. Indeed, as he got inside the door, kicked off his shoes and began strolling towards the main room, he could hear Akane's voice speaking.

"It was really strange. I was near the edge of this high cliff. Behind me, thick, tropical looking jungles. Down at the base of the cliff, though, I saw only smoke-choked wastes of ash and burning coals, stretching as far as I could see. And there were these huge crystals floating up and down in the sky, drifting with the breeze."

"Oh, hey Akane, so there you are." Ranma said as he walked in, stopping as he realized that there was a stranger at the table. "And who's he?"

The stranger, a waifish looking youth with silver hair, pale skin and eyes like molten copper, nodded politely at him, even as Akane looked embarrassed. "R-Ranma! Where were you?"

"Just seeing if you had been kidnapped. No biggie." Ranma brushed the question aside nonchalantly.

"Gee, glad it wasn't any trouble." Akane snarked, sounding somewhat put off by his attitude.

"Eh, something like that happens at least once a week. So, did you pick this guy up wherever you were?" He asked, genuinely curious. Was this supposed to be the guy Akane might hook up with?

"Akane calls me Gelf. It suits me as a name." The stranger spoke up, polite in tone and mannerisms despite his rather gruff choice in words. "And yes, we did make acquaintance through the magic of the puzzle box."

"What is it with you and stumbling across magical crap that causes weird stuff to happen, anyway?" Ranma asked Akane.

"Look who's talking!" She incredulously retorted.

"Anyway." Akane shot a final glare to Ranma, who simply ignored it in usual fashion, "Gelf here is unable to go back home and I was hoping that he would be able to stay here."

The others blinked and turned to Gelf, who simply stared back with an expression as bland as dishwater before Soun frowned. "I'm not sure..."

Gelf spoke up then. "If it is space you are concerned with, I take up little of what you perceive as physical space, I eat very little and will aid you in whatever tasks you wish done."

Soun's concerns weren't about that however; it was about the occasional shy glances his youngest daughter was sending the youth. If Akane fell in love with this boy, then engagement would be ruined!

And then Akane pouted, "Please daddy? Can he stay?"

Nabiki palmed her face as Soun began to crack. "Dammit Akane, he isn't a puppy." The middle Tendo sister muttered to herself before resigning herself to the inevitable as the Tendo patriarch finally collapsed under the assault of cute.

"O-of course Akane-chan, your friend can stay for as long as he likes!"

Akane beamed happily and from his spot, Ranma silently breathed out in relief. Keeping the strange guy here was important if he was going to break the Tendo agreement.

For those fearing original character domination, let me hurry to assure you that "Gelf" will not be taking any major role in the rest of this story – at least, from Ranma's point of view. What he'll be doing will be pretty important to Akane, but from this story's perception, it'll happen pretty much off-camera. He's not going to be introduced in this chapter and then never show up again, but he's not going to be stealing the spotlight away from Ranma and his issues. We were contemplating that the next chapter show Akane's point of view of what happened after she went on her little "trip", but if you'd rather we didn't then just leave a review saying so: if folks clearly aren't interested in that particular side-story of this serial, we'll do something else instead.