Chasing the Rainbow
Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form.
Author's Notes: Sorry that this chapter took a while to come out. Delays on various ends, it happens. Anyway, we were kind of set on not making Natsume and Kurumi into candidates for Ranma, seeing as how we've gone to all the trouble of giving the other girls a chance to get to know him, so we're pleased to see that most readers would be fine with us doing that.
Speaking of candidates, I guess it's confession time. Originally, we were genuinely uncertain as to which girl to pair Ranma with – as mentioned at the start of the serial, there really are so many possibilities. However, by about… ooh, chapter five maybe? We had figured out exactly who we're going to pair Ranma with. We've kind of been using the votes as a way to gauge just how well we're handling the three girls and making them, among other things, seem like valid pairings for Ranma. I understand there's a possibility that Shampoo's in the lead simply because there are lots of fans who genuinely like the idea of Ranma/Shampoo, we're just the only ones to try and write it, but it works well enough. For those wondering who the girl is, well, you'll see when the end comes. Of course, that's going to take a bit of a while; there's seven other "specials" (counting the Ryugenzawa and Akane's Sisters as one each) we intend to adapt, with the seventh serving as the final chapter (sort of), and there's going to be 1 to 3 "filler" chapters between each special. But then, you can't just go from "no interest" to "I want you and only you" in a matter of days, yes?
Chapter 12: Ranma's Getting Married? The Nekonron Nightmare!
It was a quite weekend day at the Tendo Dojo. Kasumi was in the kitchen, happily trying out something new involving minced vegetables and water; Ranma had asked her if she had ever thought about trying food from other places before, and it had attracted her interest. Ranma was in the garden, practicing his katas. Soun and Genma were trying to pretend they were not watching a romantic anime on TV and they were not trying to get some ideas for new plans from it. Akane, meanwhile, was ignoring the parental figures and watching as Gelf showed her his skill at using the tarot deck.
"So, what's in our future?" While she was somewhat skeptical about the idea of fortune telling, she had to admit that Miyo had been surprisingly accurate when she'd determined Happosai was going to fall ill. Furthermore, given the fact she had a lot of experience with both real magic and trouble alike, it paid to be open minded about these things. Besides, if a yosei couldn't use tarot cards for real, who could?
Gelf simply stared at the cards, and then turned the first one over. Akane, not knowing the specific details of the art of tarot, was left in the dark. When Gelf's face tightened into a frown, though, she felt worry begin to grip her. "What's it mean?" She asked.
"Curious…" He muttered, and then flipped the other cards in rapid succession, refusing to say anything else as he intensely studied them.
"Gelf? What do they say?" Akane insisted.
"It's strange… this particular arrangement signifies both the coming of a stranger, and warns of impending danger."
Gelf trailed off as he realized Akane wasn't in the mindset to pay more than token attention to anything he might have said after that; his words had clearly made her start thinking about something else. He began to reshuffle the cards, leaving her to her thoughts, and was so distracted himself when she stood authoritatively and began walking out of the room, so he quickly got up to follow her.
"Where are we going?" He asked her.
"My room," she replied. "Your predictions are accurate, right? Well, I don't particularly feel like getting into that sort of nuttiness again. I like that I haven't had to deal with... with martial arts flower arrangers popping up to challenge Ranma in. I don't want to deal with that sort of stuff again." She complained. "So, I'm going up to my room and I'm going to stay where it's safe and sensible until all this blows over."
"When you put it like that, allow me to join you." The yosei replied.
Meanwhile, outside of the Tendo Dojo, Ukyo hummed happily to herself as she walked up the street to the main gate. Today, she'd ask Ranma for a date instead of waiting for him to come to her. As grateful as she was that he had come to his senses, she wished they could be together a little more often. She knew he had to be careful of that jackass he called a father, and those other witches who wanted to keep him away from her, but was it wrong for a girl to want to be around the man she loved? Not to mention that some of the dates hadn't turned out as well as they could have done – take, for example, that little incident earlier this week when they'd gone to the park. A couple of brats with water guns had thought it hilarious to chase Ranma and her all over the park, continually sniping at him with cold water whenever it looked like they might be doing something romantic. Though she had been prepared and brought along a thermos of hot water, by the fourth time, Ranma called it off as a waste.
She'd taken great pleasure in grabbing those brats, crushing their guns, and then throwing the little idiots into the lake once Ranma was safely out of sight.
Such pleasant memories were scattered when, as she approached the gate, she heard the obnoxiously familiar sound of a bicycle bell ringing, quickly leaping to the side lest her number one rival "accidentally" run her down as she skidded to a stop after having jumped her bike off of the roof of the nearby building.
"Nihao." Shampoo told her coldly. Then, formalities out of the way, she leapt right to the question. "What you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same question." Ukyo replied flatly.
Before Shampoo could reply, an all-too-familiar (and unwelcome) laugh broke out. Barely had it begun to die away than Kodachi descended from a different rooftop with her usual dramatic flare. "So, it seems that I am not alone in considering this glorious day to be the perfect opportunity to ask Ranma Saotome to a date, am I?" She declared.
"That right. But other girls can go home; Ranma come out with Shampoo." The Chinese girl declared triumphantly.
"And just what makes you say that, China Doll?" Ukyo scoffed. "Ranma-honey has far too much taste to be seen in public with you."
Kodachi was aware of Ranma's plans to get to know all of the girls after him, having heard the details from Sasuke. Though it had been somewhat shaken by the manner in which her first "meeting" had gone, she still remained confident that she would be the inevitable winner. Concerns of how much damage she did to her chances with her reaction to the revelation of his curse reminded her to keep her cool.
Would it have changed matters if she had remembered that the other girls did not have this knowledge and thusly each believed that she alone had been the recipient of Ranma's sudden outburst of romantic intention? Who knows? The reality was that she did not recognize the dangerous track the conversation her two rivals were taking until it was too late.
"Shampoo say that because Ranma not ashamed to be seen in public with Shampoo!" The Chinese Amazon barked.
"Yeah?" Ukyo scoffed.
"Ranma go out with Shampoo just other day – what you think?" The bluenette leered in response.
"He what!" Ukyo screamed. "But he took me out on Monday!"
Now it was Shampoo's turn to scream in denial, and Kodachi finally realized just where this was going and tried frantically to head it off at the pass – not out of any concern for the others, but because she couldn't take Ranma on a date if they hospitalized him. "Now, girls, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this…" She started to say, but was cut off as the others promptly broke into a charge at the Tendo compound's gate, smashing through it and forcing her to abandon her attempts to be reasonable.
"Ranma!"
Ranma stopped in mid-kata at the perfectly synchronized pair of angry feminine roars. Even though he should have known better, he turned automatically to confirm that, yes, Shampoo and Ukyo were pelting across the lawn with auras of pure fury scorching the grass underfoot. Immediately he turned and ran, going from stillness to motion without a wasted second of transition, bounding over the wall even as his fiancées thundered after him.
Ryoga whistled a nameless tune as he walked down the street; it had been a while since he had been back to Nerima, no thanks to that damn imp! Thanks to that thing he had been forced to run from butchers, people who wanted to keep him as a pet, and...
KLOCK! "Sorry Ryoga gotta run bye"
Ryoga blinked as he rubbed his head, before realizing who had spoken.
"Ranma! Get back here! Yo--aaaaaarrgh!" Ryoga's words were promptly drowned out as two very pissed off teenage girls trampled him their blind pursuit of his rival. Kodachi's using his skull for a springboard simply because it was convenient was the final insult.
Coughing, Ryoga got to his feet. "Damn it Ranma! You're not getting away that easily!"
Ranma was vaguely aware of Ryoga having joined in the chase, but otherwise all of his attention was fixated on running as fast as he could; great martial artist he was, but that still didn't mean he enjoyed pain! He was paying no attention to where he was going, simply fixated on the very process of running, but his hindbrain chose to throw up a comment just then: wasn't this the route that led past that annoying old Shinto woman's house…?
'Crap!'
Speak of the devil, and there she was, getting ready to do that stupid purification ritual yet again. Ranma's feet skidded on the pavement as he fought against momentum, but as her hand came arcing around it became clear that he was fighting a futile battle. Even as the cold water soaked his body, his flesh and bones twisting into their Jusenkyo-induced alternative pattern, she wondered yet again if this stupid old bat had some kind of grudge against him. It seemed like every other time he came past her, she just had to be out purifying the ground outside her gate. She hit the ground running again, trying to take advantage of the momentary delay the old woman's presence would cause to make up for the ground she had lost.
"There, it's finally done; after all those budget setbacks." The owner of the new apartment stepped back as the construction foreman grimaced.
"I still think you should have invested in local materials sir, this is Nerima."
The owner scoffed at the foreman's suggestion and waved a hand around the neighborhood, birds chirping in the background, prompting the foreman to look increasingly nervous.
"Nonsense! Even if building-destroying martial artists were around, I chose this area because it is by far the most peaceful; none of this supposed Nerima Wrecking Crew will show up."
Just then, a blur smashed through a window, through the intervening walls judging from the crashes within, and out a window on the other side. The foreman turned and was about to say something when several more blurs hit the building scant seconds later, and the building promptly vanished in a massive explosion of dust.
The cry of anguish from the owner of the pile of rubble could have been heard clear on the other side of Tokyo.
Ranma, meanwhile, had barely noticed she had plowed through a building in his rush - and neither had any of the people pursuing her. Their path had taken them into somebody's private garden, which had been lavishly stocked with all manner of cacti, which presented something of an impediment.
"Who grow cactus in Japan? Eeyow!" Shampoo squealed in pain as she stumbled against a very large cactus with particularly prominent hooks.
Ryoga found himself grateful for the Bakusai Tenketsu; while he had been very pissed that Cologne had duped him into believing that it was something out of Fist of the North Star, the fact the natural armor made him impervious to the spikes of the plants in the garden really made up for it. Of course, he still had to slow down; he might damage property, but he didn't want to wreck somebody's garden. Besides, the idea of getting cactus needles in his eyes was kind of frightening.
Of course, once they were out of the field of sharp spines and barbed needles, the chase picked up full steam again.
At the Nekohanten, blissfully unaware of the human storm coming their way, Mousse was taking advantage of a lull in the presence of customers to treat himself to a bowl of ramen, Cologne sitting and relaxing on a table and talking idly with her employee. She may not approve of either his stalking her great-granddaughter or his vehemence towards Ranma, but that didn't mean she hated him. "So, Mousse, I heard a rumor that you were seen on a date with Ms. Nabiki Tendo yesterday?" She asked conversationally.
Mousse promptly choked on his noodles, trying to hide this from Cologne. How had she...? Well, no matter. In a way, this what he wanted... "So what if I was?" He asked, trying to make it sound like it was merely a hypothetical question rather than an admission of guilt.
Cologne smiled indulgently. "It's good to see that you're finally growing up, boy. It would have been a waste of your life to pursue Shampoo forever, and it's about time you found somebody who would appreciate you. Of course, you still need to find a way to complete that second phrase, but it's nice to see you getting on with your life."
"And just what's wrong with Nabiki?" Mousse asked, feeling rather insulted by Cologne's choice of words. He had actually enjoyed the previous afternoon's experience, and didn't like hearing Cologne imply it was otherwise. Of course, he rather disliked Cologne anyway… almost as much as he disliked the implication that he was still too dumb to know what was good for him.
What Cologne may have said was lost to the ages, for it was at that moment that the doors to the Nekohanten slammed open and a blur of red and black came storming through.
"Sorry Granny sorry Mousse gotta run hey can I borrow that yowch that's hot see you latter gotta go bye!"
Mousse and Cologne blinked in mutual confusion as the blur zoomed past the table where they had been sitting, then shot over the counter into the kitchen and out through the back door, a now-empty bowl clattering into the sink. Mousse looked down to confirm that, yes, his half-eaten bowl of ramen was no longer in his hands. They were both still trying to decipher that rapid-fire blur of gibberish when more blurs stormed through the open door.
"Ranma! You have explaining to do!" A blur of blue whipped through the room and out the back door.
"Ranma! Get back here you jackass! Outta the way Mousse!" The longhaired teen found himself on his back as a brown blur whipped through the restaurant and out the back door. Mousse was about to say something when a yellow blur came through, bellowing a wordless roar and demolishing the counter without even noticing as it followed the others out the back door.
Finally, as Mousse got back to his feet, he spotted Kodachi Kuno arrive, pause, and then bow to both him and Cologne. "I apologize for the intrusion."
With that the girl dashed out the back door.
Mousse stood up and made a show of dusting down his clothes, cracked his neck, shoulders and back, then took a deep breath. "Ranma, come back here! You're going to pay for that!" And with that he took off after them.
It should be noted that, this time, Mousse actually meant that last part literally. He would be damned if he'd allow somebody to eat at the Nekohanten and run on his watch!
Cologne reached for her pogo stick and joined the procession; she wanted to get to the bottom of this. Besides, this beat watching soap opera reruns and Japanese game shows.
On other streets, a girl skated idly around without any apparent cares in the world, ignoring the catcalls with the ease of practice; she was far too used to them to take them seriously any more. Besides, she was quite happily taken now. "Tsubasa? Tsubasa? Little Azusa is gonna find you!" She called out; who knew hide and seek could be so fun? The prize that her new boyfriend always had waiting for her at the end of each session just made it all the more enticing. She paused in her searching and stared at the sky as a sound came to her attention; thunder? But the clouds were white and fluffy, like cute big masses of cotton, not black and ominous.
"Gangway!" Came a desperate male voice.
Azusa's head whipped around and she shrieked in fright at the sight of an angry mob of the most notorious local martial artists in town charging towards her. In fact, she was so petrified with fear that they would have trampled her had the tree she was standing under not suddenly bent down its branch and hoisted her to safety. The result was that she found herself sitting comfortably above the martial artists as they hurtled by, their words drifting on the wind past her.
"Ranma stop running!"
"We're gonna catch ya sooner or later, Ranma!"
"Girls, please, can't we talk this over peacefully? Come on, I'm being the voice of reason here – doesn't that make you want to hear me out?"
"You're going to pay for stepping on my head!"
"Ranma Saotome, nobody skips their bill at the Nekohanten! You're not getting away without paying for that ramen!"
Azusa watched the parade of freaks vanish at high speed into the horizon, and then shook her head. "Thank you, Tsubasa."
Her lover poked his head out a knothole. "This doesn't count as a win for you." He informed her, at which Azusa pouted.
"Why is it whenever anything goes my way, it always means I've got twice the bad luck coming?" Ranma complained to anyone who might be listening. He felt he had a right to complain: after all, the girls had clearly figured out he'd been testing the waters (so to speak) with all three of them, making this the most dangerous chase he'd been involved in since… since… that incident involving the three small dogs, the horny male zebra, the knife-juggling clown-on-a-ball, and the two burly Scotsmen in full traditional regalia on roller-skates.
"Wow, Ranma, I didn't know you had it in you! So, does this mean you'll be coming with me on my next panty raid?"
Ranma started with surprise, craning his neck to see that Happosai was indeed bounding along beside him with his trademark bulging sack of loot on his shoulders. "Where the hell did you come from?" He demanded. "And what the hell do you mean about me coming on one of your sick outings?"
"Why, you're already practicing getting away from mobs of angry women – that's a vital skill you'll need to master if you're to truly take over as my heir!" The old pervert grinned triumphantly.
Ranma had always had his suspicions that Happosai's claim of wanting an heir meant less an heir to his various martial arts tricks and more someone to become a panty-stealing molesting voyeur like himself. Now he was certain of it.
"There is no chance in hell of me ever turnin' out like you, old goat! Now get lost!" He shouted, grabbing the bag and using it to heave the diminutive pervert into the perfect position to give him one mother of a kick to the pants. While the fact he was running at the same time meant that he could not get the bracing he needed to see Happosai clear out of Nerima, he was still strong and skilled enough to punt Happosai a kilometer or so. Watching him sail off past the rooftops, trailing lingerie like a perverse comet, Ranma almost forgot about the mob chasing him in his pride at performing such a difficult feat.
The thing was, they were getting much louder – and also less coherent. In fact, they started to sound less like they were screaming in rage and more like they were just screaming. When Ranma turned his head around, a stupid mistake while running at top speed, he also screamed. He didn't have time to make much sense of what he saw, but it looked like a mountainous black aura, crackling with crimson lightning bolts and with two demonic eyes. Then it lashed out at him, and Ranma was flying further and faster than he had ever flown before. All those times that Happosai had blown him up, or those relatively rare occasions Akane had sent him through the roof? Forget those: this topped anything he'd ever been on the wrong end of before.
Meanwhile, at the Tendo household, lunch was being served. Nabiki popped her head back into the living room and gave it a shake, shortly before she walked on in. "Sorry, daddy, but Akane refuses to come out. Says it's going to be a bad day."
"I don't know what goes on in that girl's head sometimes." Genma murmured to himself. Then he brightened. "Oh well, all the more for us."
Soun, meanwhile, was staring at the bowl of… well, it looked like a vegetarian nightmare… Kasumi had just prepared for him. "Um… Kasumi? What is this?" He asked hesitantly.
"It's called gazpacho soup, father. It's a Spanish dish." Kasumi explained cheerily.
"It's cold." Soun pointed out, reluctant to hurt Kasumi's feelings, but unable to avoid pointing out this fundamental flaw.
"It's supposed to be served cold. It's intended for warm days as a refresher." She replied, nonplussed.
Soun couldn't think of a reply for that, and instead chose to change the subject. "I wonder where Ranma is? It's not like him to be late to a meal."
"Oh, I'm sure he'll come flying in at any second – that boy has a bottomless pit for a stomach." Nabiki added.
With the ease of long practice, Kasumi pushed the taunt that began bubbling on her tongue back into the darkness of her mind. After all, it just wouldn't be sisterly to admit she would have bet on Nabiki over Ranma in an eating contest any day. She did hope Ranma would arrive soon; after all, he had been the one to suggest she try foods from different cultures to keep from getting bored, and she wanted him to be the first one to try her first experiment.
And that was when Ranma, with the other members of the mob that had been chasing him close behind, hit the Tendo living room like guided missiles.
In her room, lying on her bed with a crossword puzzle, Akane winced at the massive impact. Just what they needed: more property damage. With acceptance caused by many previous experiences, she shrugged it off. "I knew something like this would happen." She groused. Internally, her pride as a martial artist was calling, crying, demanding for her to leave the room and go and confront Ranma over his latest mess. But, for once, cold logic was drowning that. Why should she go out there? Most of the time, Ranma had been there to protect her, however obnoxious his attitude. Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi had no qualms about fighting dirty; they would have no problem putting her in hospital if Ranma wasn't going to even put up the pretense of being faithful to her anymore.
So the decision was really no decision at all. Pushing it aside, she turned to more important matters at hand: considering seven down on her crossword.
Gelf said nothing, instead inching a little closer to her for protection, holding a hastily constructed talisman in one hand. Sometimes, he wondered if he wouldn't have been better off staying lost in the Hungering Forest instead of coming back with Akane.
The living room was devastated; Kasumi had, fortunately, been quick enough on her feet to duck back out into the hall and been spared any pain. Happosai was currently little more than a vaguely identifiable lump in the soil between the porch and the pond. Kodachi was dangling from the plum tree, and both Ukyo and Shampoo were lying where the table had once been, now sprawled on top of each other. Mousse hit the roof above the porch, even as Ryoga bounced into the koi pond, meaning a soggy black piglet was now creeping sullenly under the house. Ranma was currently embedded back first into the wall, upside down with her head in the soup tureen. About the only person who had come out of the mess unscathed was Cologne, who was now perched serenely on the wall.
Soun was the first to recover, prying himself out of the floor with a groan and howling with dismay at the sight of his ruined living room. "Who's responsible for all of this?" He demanded.
Not too far away, Nabiki shook off the dazing; thankfully she hadn't hit anything hard when she'd been bowled over by the crash. She was certainly aware enough to spot what Soun had missed. "I think that might be the culprit, daddy!" She declared, pointing fearfully at what she had spotted.
Soun followed his daughter's pointing figure and shrieked as the hulking, shapeless black cloud-thing advancing steadily through the garden and stopping just near the pond. As if woken from their respective stupors by Soun's cry (and who knew, maybe they were), the other martial artists sprang up and got ready to fight. Ranma finally managed to pull herself both out of the wall and the vegetable tureen, shaking off the worst of the soup dripping down her body and putting up a defensive posture, grateful the… whatever it was… had evidently distracted the girls from noticing that they finally had her cornered. As the group watched, however, the monster began to shrink down to a still impressive size, crackling more fiercely before suddenly popping like a bubble, revealing the form of an…
"Elephant?" The household chorused, even Akane and Gelf, who were now watching this through Akane's window.
"This is no ordinary elephant." Cologne interjected. "I can't remember the last time I've felt such a formidable battle aura from anyone, man, beast, or demon."
The elephant ignored them, its eyes flicking intensely back and forth before locking onto the small lump that was Happosai. With an angry bugle, it held out its trunk and started inhaling like a vacuum, sucking the little pervert from its position and clamping him into place. It bent over backwards; slamming Happosai headfirst into the ground then did an impressive back flip and landed squarely on him. The group relaxed as they watched the most hated person in Nerima get the shit beaten out of him by several hundred kilos of raging pachyderm.
"Well, I guess it must have been here for the old goat all along." Ranma mused.
"Right. Now that settled…" Shampoo began, turning to Ranma with a cold expression on her face, Ukyo doing the exact same thing. Ranma backed away nervously, only to blink in shock when Kodachi stepped in front of her in a protective fashion.
"Now look, I'm certain that if we calm down and talk this out rationally, we can solve this without anyone getting hurt."
Ranma was both touched and impressed. Though maybe a little less of the latter when Kodachi whispered to her out of the corner of her mouth, "Run for it, I'll distract them."
While this personal little drama was playing out, the elephant had finished pummeling Happosai. It stood over his battered, unconscious form, glaring sabers (there was way too much hate to call them daggers) at him, then blinked as a shrill whistle split the air. Everyone looked up as the elephant developed a happy expression and wandered over to the plum tree, raising its trunk to gracefully receive a newcomer to the scene.
It was a petite figure of a girl, slightly taller than Ranma's female form, with short blonde hair bobbing around a face in which a pair of olive-green eyes regarded the situation with a glare, small mouth set in a grim line. The clothing looked like something from somewhere in the northern parts of China, perhaps close to Mongolia considering the hair. With the obviously trained elephant in account, and the way she moved, it was clear that the girl was a martial artist as well, who likely supplemented her skills with her talent with animals.
Not the weirdest person to have ever come storming into the Tendo Dojo – after the likes of Sankichi Urakishi, the demented master of Martial Arts Shogi, or the giggling Sotatsu Jikei'ien, she was pretty boring. That still didn't explain why she was here, though. As Ranma thought this, though, the girl leveled a dramatic finger point at the still unconscious Happosai.
"At last, Lychee find you, Happosai! You pay for steal Lychee childhood!" She shouted.
"Wow, and I thought Shampoo's Japanese was terrible." Ukyo commented.
"Spatula girl shut up. Like hear how good you speak Chinese." The resident Chinese girl grumbled.
"So, she's here because of the old goat… anyone else see this coming?" Ranma asked, pulling off her shirt and wringing it out. Something thin, vaguely round and surprisingly hard slammed into her face and knocked her over, followed by a feminine voice squealing in dismay.
"Put clothes on, pervert!"
"My sentiments exactly!" Akane called out from the safety of her window.
Ranma grumbled as she hauled herself off of the ground and slipped back into her damp shirt, still clutching the mystery projectile: half of a tightly-wound scroll. "What is this thing?" She asked. "And why does it give me a strange feeling of déjà vu?" She muttered to herself.
"Is scroll of luck, what be in Lychee family for generations! Happosai pay for trick Lychee!" The stranger shouted.
As if on dramatic cue, lightning flashed and thunder roared. And then, suddenly, the dark sky above lit up with flashing lights, beams of brilliance stabbing through the clouds and tracing the grounds of the Tendo compound. The sense of mystery didn't waver much when the source of the lights was revealed; an impressively sized old-fashioned wooden boat, suspended beneath a giant balloon. As it descended through the air, an authoritative voice called out, touched with a Chinese accent, but otherwise perfectly proficient in its Japanese.
"At long last, she who is foretold has been found. The other half of our sacred scroll has been returned to us, and you, young maiden, have been chosen by destiny!"
"Say what?" Could pretty much be said to sum up the reactions of all present.
"You, maiden with the scroll, will come with Prince Kirin of Nekonron and become his bride!" The voice proclaimed, the flying ship now low enough that those on the ground could see the people aboard, if only vaguely. The owner of the voice, and centerpiece of the group of six, was a coldly handsome mature Chinese man with a regal bearing and a proud expression beneath dark green hair, commanding all of the attention away from the others at his side.
It was the sight of this authoritative man that aroused Lychee's attention. Turning away from Happosai and the group with an ecstatic expression on her face, she raised her arms imploringly to the heavens. "At last, it happen! Lychee prince come to give Lychee happy ever after…" She slowly took several steps forward, growing bolder, before the green-haired man, evidently Prince Kirin, glanced her way with a thunderous expression.
"Who are you, fool? And what nonsense is this you speak?" He thundered.
The expression on Lychee's face, even from their angle, was heartbreaking. "My prince…" She called plaintively.
"You do not possess the scroll, girl! Prince Kirin has no time for the likes of you!" He snapped. "She is the maiden who shall be the wife of Prince Kirin!" He pointed for emphasis, the people gathered at the Tendos' home following it by instinct.
"Ranma?"
"Like fuck I will!" Ranma screeched in rage.
"Such vulgar language. It seems you will need considerable education in the proper behavior according your new title. Ebiten!" Prince Kirin snapped.
"Sire!" Saluted the dwarf with the fishing pole. "Even a shrimp can land a royal catch." He joked, twirling his pole elaborately and sending his line lashing down to coil around Ranma's wrist, jerking the startled boy-turned-girl with a shriek into the air to land, bridal style, into Kirin's arms.
"You should be honored my dear, for you are not to be just any bride, but the bride of the mighty Prince of Nekonron, Kirin, and upon our return, a queen to match my own illustrious authority. Of course, we will have to soften some of your harder edges..."
Ranma's fist lashed out and slammed into Kirin's face, flooring the man and stunning the others into a stupor.
"How's that for hard edges, you son of a bitch? Of all the arrogant bastards I have to deal with, you just may be the worst of the lot! Do you really think that if I said no the first time I would agree after being dumped in your arms? FUCK NO! Now hold still so I can hit you again!"
The redhead raised a foot to do just that when, in a flurry of shouts and shrieked expletives, Ranma was promptly bound up and gagged. Once she was secured, one of a set of young looking male twins sighed in relief. "That was close; this one is going to be a handful, that's for sure."
The others nodded their agreement, even as Ranma struggled in her bonds with a viper's glare in her eyes.
The sheer speed of which this had all happened had momentarily thrown the Nerimites for a loop, but they quickly regained their mental footing and outrage burned in their hearts.
"How dare you abscond with my Ranma! You shall be punished for this!" Kodachi shouted, leaping up and lashing out with one of her ever-present ribbons to form a makeshift grappling line to the railing of the ship.
Realizing what she had intended, the others swarmed to follow her, lest she take the ribbon up with her and leave them stranded on the ground and unable to help. Fortunately, she evidently retained awareness that she could not hope to defeat so many skilled opponents on her own and so left it in their reach. Like a pack of ravening wolves they swarmed onto the deck, readying themselves to fight.
"How dare you defy me? Do you know who I am?" Prince Kirin raged, wiping with one hand (still clutching long, formal chopsticks) at his bruised cheek.
"No know, no care! You take Ranma over my dead body!" Shampoo snapped, pulling out her chúi and brandishing them at her indignant countryman.
"That's right! Ranma may be scum, but I will be the one to slay him!" Mousse declared triumphantly.
"Not if I beat him first, you won't!" Ryoga barked furiously.
"Can we focus on the big picture here?" Ukyo complained. "First, we show this ignorant gaijin who they're messing with - then we can settle out who gets Ranma and for what." She added.
By this point, Kirin was livid. "You ignorant peasants! How dare you talk to your betters in such a fashion! Feel the sting of Kyakusho Yogekki Kyo!" Raising his chopsticks in one hand, and raising a bowl of rice in the other to his chest, he suddenly brought the chopsticks-hand to his chest and then hurled it out, unleashing a great volley of tiny arrows of yellow ki energy. The Nerimites screamed in unison as they were battered, the barbs of ki driving them back until they fell over the railing. As they dropped out of sight, Kirin's hand relaxed and the barrage of projectiles stopped. "Weaklings." He sniffed. "Cast off for Nekonron!" He ordered.
If it had been Akane in this position, Ranma was certain she would have cried out his name. Truth be told, for once, she could sympathize with her - seeing the girls come to her rescue had been encouraging, and seeing them defeated so easily made her heart skip a beat, but she couldn't think of what to say and was well beyond the reach of their ears by the time that her tongue unfroze.
On the muddy earth near the Tendo's koi pond, Kodachi groaned and shook her head. The earth suddenly began to shake and tremble, and she narrowly evaded being trampled as the elephant from before suddenly galloped by, Lychee perched on her back and sobbing out a litany of "My prince! My prince!"
Kodachi promptly pushed herself angrily out of the mud, snarled something along the lines of "oh no you don't, you bitch!" and then lashed out with her ribbon. With her skills in impromptu noosing, she easily dragged Lychee from the back of her pachyderm steed. When the others mentioned this turn of events later, Kodachi, of course, would deny it utterly - a lady such as herself would never use such language!
That did not change the fact she had indeed lassoed Lychee, or that the elephant only advanced a few more steps before realizing its mistress had been abducted, wheeling around and charging right back at them. "Subdue that beast!" Kodachi panicked. Several hundred kilos of meat and bone barreling towards her at a speed approaching that of a car brought age-old instincts flaring up inside her.
The other two girls and Ranma's rivals both leapt at the elephant, meeting it head on in a concentrated strike directly at its forehead that made its eyes cross and brought it crashing to the ground. Evidently, they had been afraid of getting squashed too, so much so that they hadn't objected to obeying one of their own.
"Alright, missy, you have five seconds to explain just who that creep was and why he made off with our fiancé, or we're going to show you just what bad luck really is!" Ukyo snapped at Lychee. Lychee glared at Ukyo, but said nothing. Ukyo drew back her arm in preparation to deliver one mother of a slap, before Shampoo seized her by the wrist.
"Ukyo let Shampoo try; we speak the same language."
Conceding the point, Ukyo stepped back and allowed the blue-haired Chinese Amazon to chatter away in her native tongue. Though her tone and facial expressions were pleasant and conversational, she evidently wasn't saying much that Lychee wanted to hear, given the way that the blond-haired Chinese girl paled and looked frightened before finally beginning to chatter back. After several minutes, Shampoo stepped back and looked angry.
"Apparently, Lychee's ancestor find Happosai washed up on lake shore with spear wound many decades ago. They give him food and shelter, but then he try and run off without saying thanks - and with much food stolen from their restaurant. When they catch him, he give them a halfed scroll he carrying, say it bring them good luck and that one day, a prince would come to wed woman what holding scroll. Lychee wait whole life for prince to come for her, but he never come, so she get angry and look for Happosai to punish him. And then prince come after all."
"Yeah, yeah, real tragic - but who was that creep? Neighbor of yours, sugar?" Ukyo snarked, waving her hand in dismissal.
Shampoo bit back anger at the insult, instead turning to Cologne. "Well, great-grandmother? You know him?"
The elderly Amazon looked thoughtful and went into her wise act. "Not in person, no, but I do know of Nekonron. It is a mysterious hidden kingdom, deep in the mountains of Xinjiang, within spitting distance of Kazahkstan and Kyrgyzstan, and ruled over traditionally by the masters of a style known as the Seven Lucky Gods School. There were rumors that the Kazahks and Kygryz once sent troops in during the Cold War, seeking Nekonron's secrets for their Soviet masters, but none returned and since then they were left alone. Still, why this scroll is so important to these people eludes me, Happosai should know more."
"Hey, where is that little underwear troll anyway?" Ryoga asked. A quick investigation revealed that Happosai had indeed disappeared, much to their mutual disdain.
"It not really matter why they want scroll, what is matter is that they stupid enough to think we let them have Ranma!" Shampoo declared boldly. "Shampoo say we go and get him back, make them pay for this!"
"Yeah!" Was the unanimous outcry.
Mousse took this opportunity to sidle up to Shampoo and surreptuously slip his arm around her shoulder. "You needn't fear, Shampoo; with me on your side, Ranma shall be rescued post haste."
Shampoo grabbed the offending limb and pulled him into a judo throw. "You?" She mocked as he crashed onto the porch. "Shampoo not trust you to boil eggs for Ranma. First moment Shampoo take eyes off of you, you try and kill Ranma. Shampoo not let you come."
"But Shampoo!" He pleaded.
She made a dismissive gesture. "Enough! Would trust Mousse if we go to rescue Akane, but when Ranma is one whose life is at stake, is too-too much temptation. You stay here. Maybe see if can catch old fart and make him suffer."
"So, I guess you're gonna insist I stay behind too, girly? Well, I'm not your bootlicker – how do you plan to make me listen?" Ryoga growled.
"Would never think of it. Besides, Ryoga no is danger to Ranma."
"What!" Ryoga said, looking startled, insulted and mildly outraged all at once. "I'm plenty dangerous to Ranma!" He insisted, clearly hurt.
"We have no time to delay! Though we may have differences of opinion, for now we are united by a common goal! For this most sacred mission, I volunteer the services of the Kuno family vessel, Subdragon the 5th! Let us depart post-haste, and save our beloved Ranma from the unspeakable fate that this arrogant Chinaman dares to drag him towards in his ignorance!" Kodachi declared, posed dramatically on one of the larger rocks around the koi pond, finger pointing to the sky above and passion and determination visibly pouring from her. Caught up in the enthusiasm, the other girls cheered and they raced off before anyone could intervene to stop them, Ryoga and even Mousse being dragged along in the rush.
In fact, they were long gone by the time that Akane finally skidded into the room. "Sorry I'm late; don't leave me behind! I can't just leave Ranma alone like that… ah, nuts." She trailed off, visibly wilting. Gelf walked up silently behind her and put a hand comfortingly on her shoulder.
"Don't be too upset, Akane. It was probably too dangerous to go anyway – I mean, all that time with just your rivals? You'd have been lucky to make it home alive, never mind in one piece."
It might have been the yosei's words, it might have been that it was just then that Soun fully understood the magnitude of what happened, but Soun chose that moment to burst into tears. Akane looked at him with a rather disappointed expression.
"Aw, geeze, dad, grow up."
Meanwhile, at the nearest coast, the impromptu rescue party had set out for China. Although there were one or two minor hiccups in the plan…
"This your plan? We never make it to China in this!" Shampoo complained.
"Yeah, when you said a family vessel, I was at least expecting a speedboat." Ukyo added.
"Well, this is all we have, so you two can just shut up and keep rowing. We've got to pick up the pace!" Kodachi decreed in an authoritative tone.
"Then how come you're not doing anything?" Mousse muttered.
"I'm steering." She explained.
And thus Ranma's plight begins. Will the girls be able to save Ranma from Kirin? …Or perhaps the question should be "will they be able to save Kirin from Ranma when he slash she gets loose"? We're sorry for cutting this in half, we were originally going for one super long chapter, but the length needed just to get to this point, and the time it took, meant we felt we should break it in half and give you something while we work on finishing the story arc off. The other half of this special shouldn't take too long to have posted, we hope.