One day she caught him reading a bible.

There he was, having worried the crap outta her because of his fever (he still hasn't done all the work she told him to do!), sitting on HER couch, and reading HER bible (not that she really cared, it was just something she inherited from her mother, but still it's HER'S not HIS!).

Plus it was stupid.

Who really believes in that kinda crap? Some untouchable, but all knowing being who controls the world and yet lets bad things happen to good people.

She told him just that.

He smiled at her, saying he understood why she thought that way. "God works in mysterious ways, you never know his plans, but you can bet that if you have faith in him, good things will come out of hardship."

Of all people, for him to say that, it kinda baffled her. It didn't make sense obviously. To her, it sounded like a bullshit excuse so that people can continue smiling over unfair and suckish circumstances.

He was paging through the bible now. "Be strong and courageous." he said looking thoughtfully at a page, "Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6." He looked at her. "Believing in a higher power isn't something that one does because it's logical and it makes sense; it means that you don't have to be alone when you need help, and that there will always be someone out there who loves you."

Sweet Dee got chills as he said that. For some reason, it sounded like he was referring back to their time in high school- the loneliness and fear that came with being on the bottom of the food chain. She knows that she thought more than once about ending it all, taking her pathetic excuse of a life and ending all the pain (a permanent solution to a temporary problem), but instead she grew to ignore that pain, essentially, to become the tormenter instead of the tormentee.

The Dee that she had become was in reality a cold shell of what she could have been.

And still she was worthless.

Sweet Dee got up quickly from the couch, brushing off his statement with a cool "whatever" and made herself a drink- a lot of drinks in fact- before she stumbled back to the couch feeling better (read: number). Here, he read passages out to her, and she listened. She doesn't remember how it started, maybe it was because she told him to tell her a story (a good one! With lots of violence, and death, and gore!), and being a former priest he agreed.

It was… nice. At some point, her head came down to rest on his shoulder while he read, a warm buzz and the even tone in his voice lulling her to sleep. In her mind she reasoned that it was only the booze that kept her there, since she could only really grasp a handful of words that he was saying anyway, but deep down she knew that it had to do with something more. She hasn't gone to church since…. Forever ago (probably went when she was girl, but she can't remember what they were about). Does this count as going? Maybe all that hocus pocus Rick was saying might actually help…. Maybe…

Maybe she could save her soul.

Pfft…. Like that's possible (besides being drunk while falling asleep on a man who you personally helped renounce his faith for is probably not gonna be balanced out by listening to a couple of stories. Don't think God works that way).

Matthew stopped reading as a hand came up and knocked him in the head. Sweet Dee was sprawled rather ungracefully on the couch, in a deep, drunken sleep. Laying the book aside, Matt adjusted himself so that she'd be more comfortable, her head resting on his knee instead of wedged between his arm and the couch. His hand brushed a few strands of hair out from her face, and he couldn't help but think that he must be dreaming.

If only it could be just like this in real life, where she could love him and he'd love her, the two of them sharing a warm bed at night with her smiling face to wake up to in the morning, happy to see him.

He shook himself of the vision, and sat, content that he could even be here. He was an honorable man (perhaps slowing being corrupted by the gang), and he wouldn't take advantage of a girl just because he can. He's desperate for her love, but it's balanced by a strange control he has over his emotions (maybe he's just got great restraint?).

Besides…. This is heaven compared to his previous choice. He was content before with never having her; he dedicated his life to the church because he felt like he couldn't give up his love and live a normal life with another woman. To him, Dee was the one. It might be stupid to think that, but this is a long unrequited love. Born from their shared status as social pariahs, he believed the two of them could have been their sole comforts from a world that had cursed them for being different. It was a foolish, romantic notion, but one that could never be put to the test because of Dee's constant refusals.

Now that he's left the faith, with no chance of going back, all he has to look forward to now is a chance that Deandra might one day see him as more than just some loser from high school.