A/N: A big thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far...you guys are great! Without further ado, I give you Murdock. Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: Still don't own.

Murdock: Juices
Strider

Hannibal swore sometimes they spent more time in B.A.'s van than anywhere else. After an eighteen hour drive, they all tumbled out of the thing kissing the ground. Hannibal sighed. Yeah, he loved the jazz and he loved their work, but dangit, he was getting too old for these stiff treks across country. The funny thing was, of all of them Hannibal was faring the best.

B.A. was quite nearly falling asleep at the wheel. After Face and Hannibal totaled the clients' car on the last mission, he would rather drive in his sleep then trust his baby with them. Murdock would have been a perfect alternative, had he not slept through most of the drive.

Early on in the week, Hannibal noticed a subtle change in his Captain. There was no alter-ego, very few zany epiphanies, and the only evidence of Billy was Murdock's steady petting motion whenever he his hand was free. B.A. had been thrilled; peace and quiet! But Face noticed it, too. Hannibal saw the Lieutenant approach Murdock about it earlier, but the crazy man appeared to rant off about chickens in the fox den, and then proceeded to burst into song. Face's glare caught Hannibal's eye. His turn.

When they finally arrived back in L.A., Hannibal opted to take Murdock back to the V.A. under the rouse that B.A. needed sleep and Face had a date…which he did, of course.

Murdock nodded calmly and said his peace to the boys before hopping into Hannibal's car. It was a beater of a thing, but it smelled just like Hannibal's cigars, and that made it comforting to the Captain.

As the sun settled low on the city skyline, Murdock burrowed into the passenger seat and watched Hannibal plop behind the wheel and start the car.

Silence enveloped the air for ten minutes before Hannibal spoke. "How ya' doin', Captain?"

"Hmm?" Murdock was caught by surprise. It seemed he'd been in another world while staring out the window. Turning to the Colonel, he smiled softly. Hannibal noted the sadness there. "Oh yeah, 'm good, Colonel. Just sleepy, is all."

Hannibal's brow furrowed. His gaze crept from the crowded streets to Murdock. "You slept almost the whole ride home…" he was hoping his tone would suit as an invitation for Murdock to open up. If the younger man picked up on it, he chose to ignore it, opting instead to lose himself through the window again.

It was exactly then Hannibal knew what he needed to do. Altering course, he head away from the V.A., toward the ocean.

Murdock noticed, but didn't speak. Maybe the boss had an errand to run? Honestly, he just wanted to get home to his comfy hospital bed, to his toys and video games but…if the Colonel was being kind enough to drive him there, Murdock sure as heck could stand an errand or two.

Fifteen minutes later found them pulling into a worn old parking lot just off the boardwalk. Hannibal grinned at his cleverness when he caught the slight glisten in Murdock's features when he realized where they were.

The ice cream shop was a tiny little drive-in joint left over from the 50s. One of the last original buildings on this side of town, it was jerry-rigged and held together with duct tape, but there was no denying it; there was no better ice cream in all of L.A. And possibly the only joint that happily agreed to make Murdock's favorite: chocolate-vanilla-strawberry milkshake with cookie dough, peanut butter, potato chips, walnuts, and two cherry's on top.

As Hannibal leaned through the window to the ordering box beside their parking spot, Murdock dared a little smile. Oooh boy, he could really use that milkshake right about now.

"One small vanilla in a cone and one crazyman special, please," Hannibal ordered into the mike. Murdock grinned when the girl taking their order giggled through the speaker.

"That you, Mr. H?" a young, friendly voice came through.

Hannibal chuckled. "Hiya, Molly, how's business?"

They could practically feel the girl's grin through the microphone. It'd been about a year ago now, but the family of Moo's had never diminished their gratefulness for the A-Team's help in keeping their old business alive. "Wonderful, thanks! Just you and Mr. Murdock today?"

In that moment, Murdock broke from his silence to laugh. "Yup! Just us today kiddo…don't forget my cherries please!"

The girl giggled again. "Wouldn't dream of it…I'll be out in just a minute!"

"Aw, Colonel," Murdock grinned. "How'd you know?"

The grin on Hannibal's face was priceless. "Don't I always?"

"Got that right, muchacho!"

It was a flash before they spotted a tiny teenage girl roller skating out to their car. The grin lighting up her face was only matched by poofy blue dress and bobbing red pig-tails. "Here ya' go, guys!" she called as she rounded to the driver's window. As she handed them their orders, she named them proudly. "A crazyman special for you," handing Murdock a huge Styrofoam cup with straw and spoon. "And small vanilla cone for you," this she gave to Hannibal along with a small stack of napkins.

Instantly Hannibal moved to pay her but she waved him off. "You know you're money's no good here, Mr H. On the house."

Hannibal smirked and handed her the money anyway. "Call it a tip then. Thanks, kid."

The girl nodded her thanks and gave a wave before skating away, back into the shop.

For a while, Hannibal believed the ice cream had healed whatever ill had been plaguing his boy. But little by little, as Murdock sipped and scooped, his childlike grin faded and melancholy filled his eyes like storm clouds circling.

Just a little longer, Hannibal reminded himself. Murdock never liked to share his deepest feelings, but he was never one who could hold it in for long, either.

Then, suddenly, the pilot sniffled. "Hey Hannibal?" he ventured, unsure and quiet.

Finally! Inside Hannibal cheered; outside he was the model of loving concern, waiting for the boy to continue.

"C-can I…ask you somethin'?" his lovable Texan drawl thickened with his anxiety.

"Of course, Murdock. What's on your mind?" instantly Hannibal put the ice cream aside; he no longer needed the diversion.

Murdock was silent for so long Hannibal almost thought he'd changed his mind. The Captain wouldn't look at him; his gaze was fixed into the menagerie of sweets stuffed in his cup. The two cherries had burst, their rich red juice pouring over the frozen cream. His voice was thick when he finally spoke again. "What do you think it takes…to make a man…t-take his own life?"

Hannibal's eyes widened, he couldn't help it. A question like that was among the last anyone wanted to hear from a boy you thought to be your son. Forcing himself to think over emotion and worry, he tried to find the best words. "I wouldn't know Murdock…but I'd imagine a lot of it comes from fear."

Murdock still wouldn't look at him. Only nodded a little and tilted the cup in his hands, watching the ruby red juice spill from side to side.

Hannibal's heart was pounding harder in his chest then it had during any firefight. His heart was screaming to speak, but his mind implored him to wait…don't jump to any conclusions. "Why do you ask?" nothing could hide the apprehension in his words.

Murdock shrugged.

"Have you…been having those kinds of thoughts, Murdock?" the Colonel coaxed lightly, every fiber of his being screaming for answers.

Abruptly, Murdock's head shot up and he met Hannibal's gaze with wide, frantic eyes. "No no no! Not me! I mean…n-not really. That's n-not what I meant," Murdock was fumbling for words so bad it made Hannibal's heart sink. The younger man had turned in his seat with one leg up on the chair, the cup stuck in the crevasse behind his knee.

Hannibal spotted the blood red cherries and briefly wondered if they were a trigger.

Murdock's eyes lowered again as he tried to find the words. "Another patient in the V.A…a friend of mine…you remember Cal Hartnet?" his eyes lifted, expression like he was asking about last night's dinner. "He flew with the medics in Nam," when Hannibal shook his head, Murdock shrugged; he didn't think Hannibal had known him. "T-they found him just before Face came to bust me out…he'd…" Murdock stuck the ice cream with his straw over and over, the juices pooling in the dessert.

Hannibal knew what was coming and sighed sadly.

"He…he killed himself, Hannibal…he was a good guy, a really good guy. He just…couldn't…couldn't shake the memories…couldn't forget…" Murdock's breathing grew rapid even as his voice cracked and failed him. When he dared to meet Hannibal's eyes, Hannibal almost wished he could look away. Those big, innocent, puppy eyes were shimmering with tears unshed and losses unmourned.

"Aw, Murdock," he didn't know what to say…there was nothing to say. Only a loving hand to place over the boy's quivering shoulder; an act that gave Murdock the strength to continue on.

"He wasn't crazy, Hannibal. He just couldn't…" the words died away as the first tear tumbled over thick brown lashes. His eyes were pouring through Hannibal's soul, searching for answers, begging for help. "W-what if it happens to me too?"

The pure, desperate question left Hannibal feeling his heart implode with helplessness. Overcome, he tossed the forgotten ice cream cone aside and reached to wrap both hands around Murdock's shoulders. They were face-to-face in the worn old sedan, Murdock's tears pouring down his cheeks, a distinct tremble hanging in Hannibal's chest. "No, Murdock. Nothing like that will ever happen to you."

"How do you know? They say I'm even crazier than he was…and Hannibal…I'm a-afraid too…what if…what—"

Hannibal could see his boys' teetering on the edge of hysterics and knew before all else he had to pull him back. "Murdock, Murdock!" he shook him slightly, waiting till the Captain looked at him, his eyes heartbreaking. "Now, you listen to me, I will never let anything happen to you, you got that? You have nothing to be afraid of. I'm always gon'na be there to protect you, no matter what."

Internally, Hannibal hoped that was a promise he could really keep.

Murdock had quieted, but the tears still trickled. "You mean it?" his voice was akin to a small child who'd just been told the favorite toy that had been broken could be fixed.

Hannibal forced himself to smile brightly. With fatherly strength, he squeezed Murdock's thin shoulders and hoped his eyes could relay all the thoughts he didn't know how to express. "You remember that job we pulled in Cambodia? When you were shot and tried to convince us we should leave you behind?"

Murdock nodded, sniffling.

"I—none of us—would dessert you then, and I sure as hell am not gon'na leave you now. Whenever you need me, Murdock, you just call and I will be there, no matter what."

The love in Hannibal's expression was nearly too much for the haggard pilot to bear. With a smile somewhere between a sob and a laugh, Murdock reached out and engulfed the Colonel in a trembling hug. "Thanks, Hannibal…I mean, really…thank you."

With rare affection, Hannibal embraced the younger man back, taking the moment to blink back his own rouge emotion.

And just like that, Murdock was Murdock again as he pulled back and grinned brightly, wiping away his tears and stuffing a mound of ice cream in his mouth. Seconds later, mock pain erupted over his features and he cringed. "Oooo...brain freeze!"

Hannibal smiled and shook his head. His special boy.

TBC

A/N: Thanks for reading! Your next teaser: Face.