3: Nightmares and Broken Dreams

RACHEL POV

I stared at my dad angrily waiting for a response; I stared at Charlie in the same way. I hated hospitals anyone who knew me to tell you that which is why a lot of people were surprised when I enrolled in medical school. "Dad I asked you a question why aren't you answering me?" I spat angrily. I wasn't sure why but I had a feeling someone was keeping something for me.

The temperature of the room made my blood run cold I was freezing not to mention aching all over. Dad continued to ignore my pleas for Paul incessantly so I started screaming for him again even though I knew he couldn't hear me. My voice was hoarse and my body ached everywhere imaginable but nothing hurt more than not having Paul there with me. My dad grabbed my hand holding it to the bed. "Rachel, stop this please it won't help you get any better!"

I wanted to smack someone but my whole body was in too much pain for that. Sobs of tears were all I could do to express myself at the moment. I hadn't seen Paul in two and a half years and I knew the reason that Danny attacked me was for the simple fact I was missing Paul. Dad left the room leaving me alone for a few minutes. I hated my loneliness and I started to cry again. I missed home and Jake but most of all, my mom. The pain from my injuries was almost too much for me to take I let out another scream. I felt someone touch my arm and I jerked it away quickly before I got injured even more. "Easy Rach, it's just me," a voice said with instantly soothed me.

My hand jerked in response because I knew that voice anywhere. I looked around the room frantically for Paul. I thought I'd imagined his touch and his voice but I hadn't, when I looked at the foot of my bed he stood there as still as a statue. Tears streamed down my face and my vision became blurred. "Pauly? You're here after everything that happened two years ago?" I asked panicking a little. My mind was racing with questions I had to ask him but he stayed unmoving and unresponsive so I knew then that I was dreaming.

I didn't want to wake up from this dream because I knew it was the only way I'd ever see Paul again. We got into a major fight before I moved out to LA I said things that I didn't mean and vice versa or so I hoped. Paul was everything to me but that night was horrible even worse than my attack in my case. I still remember everything he said word for word. Rachel you're crazy to want to move away from me you know that? If that's what you really want then I can stop you but don't come crying back here when it blows up in your face later for whatever reason. One more thing, Rach if you leave me now I never want to see you again ever! Do you understand? His words echoed in my mind like a broken record every day since that fight.

I'd give anything to see him again anything at all but one thing about Paul I knew that no one else seemed to realize he never went back on his word. If he said he never wanted to see me again he meant it and I wasn't about to ruin his life by doing exactly what he said I'd do. I rolled onto my side trying to get comfortable when a sharp pain ran up my spine. I heard the hospital room door creak open and someone walking toward me. I felt slender fingers run through my hair and the all-too-familiar sent of La Push filling my nose. I turned my head to see Sam Uley standing there beside my bed he was much taller than I remembered. He wiped a stray tear from my cheek with a warm smile across his face. "How are you feeling Rachel can I get you anything?" he asked quietly.

I carefully rolled back onto my back wincing at the pain I felt with every move I made. I tried to smile sweetly but it just wasn't working. "I just want to go home, Sam I want to be with Jacob. I want to go to my safety zone," I pleaded as the tears filled my eyes again.

Sam rubbed my shoulders gently and sat in the chair beside the bed. He looked so afraid and confused that it began to confuse me too. "I know you want to go home, Rachel trust me I do, but it's probably best if you stay here at least for now," he said making more and more angry at him. "Jake's fine trust me I'd never let anything happen to him under my watch."

What did Sam mean by under his watch? I hated how everything I was told just made me want to ask more questions. I wanted to hear my baby brother's voice and I wanted him to tell me that he was okay. Ever since mom died I've become Jake's guardian of sorts, Becca left us and got married to a Samoan surfer named Ian so I watched Jake and until I went to college. I sat up fighting the pain that radiated in every part of my body. "What are you talking about Sam? Is my brother all right?" I asked feeling more and more panicked by the second.

Sam shrugged his shoulders and chuckled complete with the infamous smirk. "Yes Rachel Jacob is fine he's a big boy now," he said laughing lightly. "He doesn't need his big sister around to protect him all the time. You made the choice to leave so don't be surprised if you don't get a warm welcome back home."

I was just about to answer him when dad stormed into the room with anger filling his face. I tried to stay calm as best as I could but the look in my dad's eyes scared the hell out of me. He rolled himself forward toward Sam and placed his hand on the end of my bed. "Samson Uley you don't tell my daughter that she will not be welcomed back home!" he screamed never looking away from Sam. "My son misses his older sister more than you can even understand. I never want to hear you say that Jake doesn't need her."

Tears flooded my eyes again at the thought of Jake not needing me anymore; he was only nine when Mom passed away. I knew he was older now but to me he'd always be the lost little kid running in my room after a nightmare and bribing him to keep his mouth shut about Paul being asleep in the bed next to me. I looked over at Daddy unable to stop my tears of pain and sadness from falling. "Will you at least call Jake and let me talk to him? Is there a rule against that too?" I snapped angrily glaring at Sam in the process. I knew there was something everyone in the room was hiding from me but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Daddy pushed my hair out of my face and spoke softly trying to calm my anger at him down a bit. "Chelly, I'm sorry you feel so angry right now, but were only trying to help," he whispered as his voice cracked with emotion. In all the times I've been around my dad I had only seen him cry once and that was when my mom passed away. Immediately guilt washed over me for snapping at him the way I had. He didn't deserve any of it, no one in the room did but I felt defenseless and alone without Paul.

Sam left the room for a few minutes and I was glad to be alone with Dad and Charlie for the first time in a few hours. Charlie's not by the bed stroking my hand lightly with his thumb. "Rachel, I know you're scared and in a lot of pain but I promise you your dad is trying to do what's best for you right now," he told me softly kissing my forehead. "You'll see Paul soon enough you just need some patience, sweetie."

I didn't have any more patience left I knew what I wanted and knew what I wanted but no one was willing to give him to me or even call him. I was losing all hope of even getting home again in one piece. Daddy was trying so hard to keep me calm but it just wasn't working my blood pressure had raised to a dangerous level I was probably minutes away from a stroke. "Charlie, go get him we can't have her get any worse," I heard daddy whisper as I drifted in and out of consciousness. "Charlie I mean it! Go get him now!"

I didn't remember passing out but apparently I had at some point. My head was pounding and the room lights were too bright for me to even open my eyes. I groaned lowly wishing all of my aches and pains would just disappear. Suddenly I heard the voice again calming me down I just didn't have the strength to open my eyes and see the guy who was talking to me. "Rachel, can you open your eyes for me?" he asked softly. "Please, Rach open your eyes, I need to see your beautiful eyes."

My eyes fluttered open as I squinted against the brightness of the lights in the room. My eyes began to water from irritation and I felt someone wipe away the tears that fell from them. I tried to speak but my voice was gone and my throat was killing me again. I heard my dad say something to Charlie about not recognizing someone but I was clueless as to who he was talking about until I heard the nickname I hadn't heard in two and half years. My Paul was in the room with me and I didn't have the strength to really move or speak. My voice sounded raspy to my own ears as I said what I've been waiting to say since the fight. "Paul, you're here? You're really here?" I asked weakly thinking that I was dreaming again. "I thought you never want to see me again I didn't mean for them to actually call you. I'm sorry if I interrupted your life, you probably have a wife and children to get back to," I mumbled looking away from him.

Paul's eyes looked like saucers and he nearly fell backwards at my confession, I had never seen him so scared before. His large hand rubbed my cheek gently so gently that I barely felt it. "Rachel I'm sorry that I said I never wanted to see you again," he whispered letting his voice crack. "That was the farthest thing from the truth."

I wanted to pull him close to me to hold him and take away his pain but I couldn't even bear to sit up for very long before a surge of pain raked through my body again. I lifted my hand to Paul's smiling just a little. "It's okay, it's over now you're here and that's all that matters," I muttered losing my voice again.

Paul sat in the chair beside my bed and watch in horror as the doctors and nurses administered different kinds of medication to ease my pain. I felt him squeeze my hand gently forgetting that I was even bruised there too. When I pulled my hand away biting back yet another scream Paul looked at me apologetically and started to leave the room. "Maybe I should just go back home until your injuries heal some," he said reluctantly. "All I seem to be doing right now is causing you more unnecessary pain."

My eyes darted across the room toward the door as I watched Paul walk out of it. All I can do then was cry because he thought he was causing me more pain when I was feeling better with him in the room. Daddy came in the room a few minutes later looking at me like I had six heads. "Rachel, what is it?" he asked worriedly as Charlie brought him a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin from the cafeteria downstairs. "Did the nurses say something to upset you?"

I shook my head repeatedly choking back even more tears that were caught in my throat. "No, Daddy Paul just thinks he's causing me more pain by being here," I said brokenly through my tears. "He says that maybe you should be around me after my injuries heal because right now all he seems to be doing is causing more pain. That's not true Daddy you have to tell him that's not true! Please don't let him leave again I won't survive it this time."

Charlie raced out of my room and down the hall in search of Paul. My body began to shake with fear when my doctor touched my leg. I screamed in horror as if he was Danny, I didn't want anyone touching me especially not a man. The only man I'd let touched me since the attack was Paul and I didn't understand why. Dad reached for my hand but a yanked it away not allowing him to grab it. "Rachel I won't hurt you sweetie," he whispered trying to reach for my hand again. "Chelly, it's me Princess your daddy, I'd never hurt you."

I wanted more than anything to believe what Daddy was saying but I couldn't my fear was immobilizing me. I screamed in horror as the nurses injected more medication into my arms and doctors prodded at the bruising on my legs and back. "I want to go home!" I screamed as loud as possible hoping my dad would get the hint. I didn't want to be in LA anymore where Danny could possibly find me to finish what he has started a few days before. "Please just take me home."

A few minutes later Charlie came back in the room with Paul behind him. Paul's eyes looked red and irritated I could tell he'd been crying. Charlie nodded at me silently and smiled before leaving the room again. I wondered why Charlie would never stay for very long but then again my screams of pain and tears probably didn't help the situation. Paul stood at the foot of my bed staring at Dad with such anger in his eyes. "If she wants to go home, Billy then we should take her," he said through gritted teeth. "It's where she belongs in the first place. These doctors don't know a fucking thing about her and you want to entrust her life with them?"

I knew Paul had a temper but I didn't think he'd ever yell at my father that way. I just sat there in the bed praying that my dad didn't test Paul. I wanted to get up and move around the room but I could barely blink without pain. As much is I wanted to go home right now I didn't know if my body could handle a long flight. I was just about to say something to Paul before another bout of pain ran through my body and everything went black.

When I opened my eyes again I wasn't sure where I was at first. The room was so dark that I couldn't even make out shadows on the wall. I heard footsteps coming towards me and I started to panic until lengthy fingers interlocked with mine. "You're okay Rach," Paul whispered in my ear instantly calming me down. "You've been unconscious for a few days now but we flew home like you asked us to. How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"

I never moved my fingers from Paul's because it was comforting to me to know that even the worst moment in my life he was there. I shook my head slowly as he turned on the bedside light. "Where am I? Where's Jake?" I asked suddenly panicked for my brother. "I'm sore, really sore did something else happen while I was unconscious?"

Paul chuckled and flashed me his famous smirk. "Rachel you are the only girl I know that is recovering from a life-threatening injury and is more concerned about her baby brother than herself," he said walking toward the door. "I'll go get Jake stay here."

Where did Paul think I was going to go? My whole body ached and I had no idea where I was in La Push. "Pauly," I whined just to get on his nerves. "Where would I go? I doubt I could walk out of here with the amount of pain I'm in."

Paul rolled his eyes and walked into the hallway. "Nothing could stop you, Rach if you really wanted to leave," he said frowning a bit. "You've never listened to anyone in your life so why start now? Hopefully with you being home again your nightmares will go away."

I shook my head and laughed a little because Paul hadn't changed that much. "I doubt my nightmares will go away for a very long time, Pauly," I said sitting up in the bed. "They've been haunting me for days so I don't expect anything different even with being home. Nice try though, I appreciate it more than you could ever know."

Paul smiled and walked back over to kiss my head lightly. "I'd do anything for you, Rach I hope you know that," he muttered looking into my eyes before walking back toward the door. I didn't know what to say to him but before I had a chance he said something that shocked me. "Rach, I'm glad you're home I've missed you."

My heart began to race at the idea of Paul missing me. After the fight we had I didn't think he'd ever miss me again. I wasn't sure what to say to him so I'd smiled a little preserving my voice a few minutes longer. "I've missed you too, Paul. So, don't you have a wife to get back to?" I asked praying he said no.

Laughter filled my ears and Paul rolled his eyes once more. "Sure I have a wife to get to, but I'm already with her," he grinned complete with a wink. "I'll only ever have eyes for you, Rachel Danielle Black."