So, since my last chapter was so short and I'm still a little sick, I thought I'd give you guys this little chapter to go along with it before I try and sleep off this cold that just won't seem to go away. This chapter is kind of depressing…

Randy shifted uncomfortably on the couch, biting his lip to keep the pain from showing on his face and trying to pay attention. Hunter was talking, rambling about his title match and Randy was squeezed in between Dave and Ric.

He hated it. He hated that he had no way out without going through Hunter. He hated the look on Dave's face. The son of a bitch knew. He knew what was happening. He hated the fact that there had been one point where he'd actually thought Dave was his friend…

Randy braced his hands on the walls of the shower. The heat of the water was just below scalding but it still couldn't distract him from the memories, or from what had happened with John.

He'd avoided the locker room until he was sure that most everyone had left, even considered just going straight to a hotel and getting his own room. He wasn't angry at John, not really. What had happened earlier had been an uncontrolled reaction to what John had said.

John had left already, Randy knew that. After he'd calmed down a little bit, he'd sent John a text, apologized for his reaction and asked for a little time. John had agreed, something that Randy was grateful for.

He wasn't ready to face John just yet, wasn't ready for the questions he knew John would ask. Hell, he wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready to answer those questions. He'd never told anyone before. Hadn't even entertained the idea.

Randy rested his forehead against the wall between his hands, let the water roll down his back. Sometimes, he wished he'd listened to his father when the man had told him not to go into wrestling.

He'd been so stupid, so fucking naïve, when he'd first been drafted to RAW. He'd been stupid with Hunter, believed something he shouldn't have and it had cost him too much. It had almost cost him his sanity.

With a sigh, Randy made an effort to force his thoughts away from that and turned off the shower. He grabbed a towel, drying himself off before making his way out of the showers and over to his bag. He had just buttoned up his jeans and pulled on a shirt when the door opened.

Randy tensed and his fist tightened as Hunter filled the doorway. The shaking began there, in his hands when Hunter stepped into the room and closed the door. The familiar mix of rage and fear burned through his body.

Xxxxxxxxx

John lay back on his bed with a sigh, dropping his phone beside him. He'd searched for Randy after what had happened but hadn't found him before he'd received a text. It was short. Randy had apologized, then asked for space to work a few things out.

John had agreed but it had killed him to do so. He wanted to run straight to Randy. He wanted to take away whatever bad memories that were affecting him so horribly. But he could understand if Randy needed some time to calm down, to gain control again and John did not want to push him too much. He was terrified that if he did, he'd lose him.

Still, it was hard. He'd never done sitting still well and he hated that there was something hurting Randy that he couldn't do anything about. He hated that he had hurt Randy with a few thoughtless words. He was hoping, though, that Randy would come to him.

Whatever had happened had to of been bad and obviously Randy had never dealt with it properly.

Xxxxxxxx

"We need to talk," Hunter started. He didn't move from the door but he was still blocking it. Randy's eyes narrowed.

The fear was something he just couldn't seem to help. He supposed it would always be there when he was alone with Hunter. The man was his walking, talking nightmare. Still, the anger did manage to overpower the fear.

"We don't talk," Randy said after a moment. He didn't turn his back on Hunter, would never do that again. He kept wary gray eyes on the man, waiting for what would happen next.

"What you did to Stephanie-"

"Did you seriously come in here to lecture me about that?" Randy interrupted, incredulously. "We beat the shit out of each other for months. Get over it."

"I could say the same thing to you," Hunter pointed out, his eyes flashing.

Randy tensed further. "Does Stephanie know all the details of your past?" He asked quietly. "Does Shawn?"

Hunter sighed. "Look, I didn't come here to fight with you."

"Then you shouldn't have come," Randy countered. He crossed his arms over his chest, his posture still defensive.

Hunter paused, his own hands going to rest on his waist. "What I did to you didn't give you the right to go after Stephanie. She was innocent in that." He held up his hands. "I know it doesn't make us even-"

"Even? You want us to be even?" Randy interrupted again. He forgot his fear in that moment, stepping closer to Hunter. "Lose her, Hunter. Lose Shawn. Lose your sanity. Walk around with the knowledge that the job you used to love and everything inside of you is tainted with something dirty, with the knowledge that you might never feel clean again. Then we'll be even."

Randy deflated as soon as the last word left his mouth and he stepped back again. Suddenly, all he felt was tired, exhausted. And he wanted John, more than anything in that moment. He wanted the safety and comfort that John had always offered, that the man in front of him never had.

"I'm sorry," Hunter said so quietly that Randy barely heard him, a stunned look in his eyes at what Randy had said.

Randy laughed, high and almost hysterical. "It doesn't matter. It's not good enough." He grabbed his bag and Hunter did step aside, let him leave.

Xxxxxxxx

John was still awake when the knock came on his door and his hope from before was answered when he opened the door and Randy was standing there. He was relieved, at first, that Randy had come, and then concerned.

Randy looked wrecked. He was slumped against the doorframe, a frown on his face. His gray eyes were shiny with what John suspected were unshed tears. The hand he had brought up to grip the doorframe was shaking.

"Randy, what…?"

Randy shook his head. "Could you ask me later?"

John nodded and then he pulled Randy into his arms. Randy sank into the embrace, clutching at him almost desperately and John held him tighter, maneuvering them both until they fell on the bed, Randy landing half on top of him, burying his head in John's shoulder.

John held on him just as tightly through the night.