Chapter Three: Never Say Goodbye
The thing about Big Time Rush is...they're crazy. Really. You never know what to expect. It's like when you think your parents are getting you a board game or a doll for Christmas and you end up getting the brand new IPod Touch. It's unexpected, but that's what you love about it.
As I stood waiting in line, Kendall's poodle balloon stowed away carefully in my purse, I was doing my best not to cry as I slipped my ticket to the security lady.
The next thing I knew, I heard the shouts of four adolescent boys. One of them pushed his way against the grain of people and under the ropes of the security check until he was in front of me once again.
"Kendall." I breathed.
"Jo, I have to tell you something." He said solemnly. I was confused for a minute and almost frowned. "Jo Taylor, I love you. And I will always love you." He gasped out in a rush, his eyes not once departing from my face.
He couldn't have ever known how much those words had meant to me at that moment. My heart swelled with love for him, and I pulled him into a hug, not wanting to let go. As we slowly pulled apart, he gazed into my eyes, and I saw an overwhelming amount of love and sorrow mixed in with the gorgeous green and gray. Slowly, he pulled me into a kiss-one that I never wanted to end.
"I'll wait for you." As our kiss ended, Kendall's words surprised me. "I know it'll be hard, but, I mean…I don't know if I could live without you. And, I'm not telling you you have to, but, I will if you will, and…I love you too much to let you go." I couldn't help but smile sadly. It was a great idea, but…how could we stay together, a million miles apart? I loved him fiercely, but could our love handle that kind of separation?
Then I flashed back to what Kendall had said a million times before, but had had a special meaning just a few days ago.
Oppuritunities like this come once in a lifetime.
My response had been that, maybe Kendall only came once in a lifetime.
And it was true. No one could compare to Kendall. No one-not my family, my friends from North Carilona, maybe not even Camille-could ever understand me the way that Kendall did. It was then that I realized that, as much as Kendall couldn't bear to live without me, I couldn't live without him either.
All I wanted to do was stare into his eyes, but I knew I had to say something. His desperate, despairing smile had turned into a cold, thin line; he probably took my silence as hesitation, in the inconceivable idea that I didn't want him to always be there for me.
"Kendall," I almost laughed between my tears at his idiocy-how could this boy believe I would ever leave him behind without taking his heart with me? "I'll wait for you too."
He beamed, and I melted into him, trying to force the feeling of his arms around me into my brain forever, so that I could always remember the warmth of being embraced by Kendall Knight until we could see each other again.
"Sweetheart?" The lady collecting the tickets gently interrupted. "Your plane is leaving soon." Her warm brown eyes were brimming with tears, and it took every ounce of strength I possessed to tear myself from Kendall's embrace.
"I'll face chat with you as soon as I land." I promised.
Kendall smiled warmly, the first smile I had gotten out of him in the past few days. "If you thought dating was bad in Hollywood…". It was a joke…but at the same time, it wasn't. It was going to be hard, but I swore I'd make it work.
I could have spilled out every emotion that was overtaking me at that moment, all the love I felt for Kendall…but I didn't. I had to get to my plane. I waved goodbye as I walked away.
While I boarded the plane, I felt a small glow of hope in my heart. I didn't have to worry about not telling Kendall all the details of my love for him. I'd have plenty of time to do so, every single time we talked, whether through face chat or on the phone or IMing.
Because we never really had to say goodbye.