Karin began to panic, she couldn't breath, she couldn't move, and she could feel her slowing heartbeat pounding in her head as her body tried to fight the drugs that were slowly killing her. For Karin every second was an eternity, the pain and panic was unbearable. She couldn't feel anything but the heaviness in her chest as her heart and lungs were paralyzed by the poisons flowing in her veins. Will the pain ever end, when will I finally die? She thought as she begged what ever powers that ran the universe to just let her die and end this unbearable pain. Toshiro where are you? You promised me you would hold my hand while they execute me. Why aren't you here you promised Toshiro, don't you love me? Karin cried in her mind. Were are you Toshiro, don't leave me to die alone. Toshiro, please help me. Toshiro, Toshiro, Toshiro!
"Toshiro!" Karin screamed as she bolted upright in her bed, she was covered in sweat and gasping for breath.
"It was just a dream, it was just a dream." she told herself as she hugged her knees to her chest. She looked at the clock by her bed, it was three in the morning.
"Why didn't they just cut my head off like the old days, it would have hurt less." she said to no one in particular. Her voice ragged and she felt tears burning in her eyes, she grabbed her pillow and started sobbing into it.
'Oh Toshiro, I wish you were here." Karin said through her sobs.
The next morning at Karin came down to breakfast with Ichigo and Rukia, Byakuya had been called away early to his Division because Renji was in the Fourth Division with food poisoning.
"Morning Karin" Ichigo said as he sipped on his tea.
"Morning" She said back, and he noticed that she seemed tired.
"Did you sleep good?" Rukia ask, having noticed Karin's state as well.
"Yeah I slept ok." Karin said trying to hide how tired she was, she hadn't been able to get back to sleep after her nightmare.
"Are you sure you're ok?" Ichigo ask not really convince by her answer.
"Yeah I'm just kind of tired, its been a hard couple of week being executed and all." Karin said trying to sound normal even though she felt anything but. The maids brought in the food and they started eating their breakfast. Ichigo and Rukia were talking about their upcoming wedding, and Karin was not really interested in what they were saying.
"Would you like to be one?" Rukia ask Karin who was spaced out.
"I'm sorry Rukia, what did you ask?' Karin said after realizing that Rukia was talking to her.
"I was wondering if you wanted to be a bridesmaid since we are having a western style wedding." Rukia said concern for Karin clear on her face.
"Yeah sure." Karin said.
"Are you sure you're ok Karin-chan." Rukia ask getting worried.
"Yeah, if you'll excuse me I need to get ready to go train." Karin said as she got up. Both Ichigo and Rukia nodded, then after she left they looked at each other and her uneaten breakfast.
"Something is really wrong with her, did you see the bags under her eyes?" Rukia said.
"I know, something has been off with her since her funeral last week. I just don't know what to do about it, if I ask her about it she just denies that anything is wrong." Ichigo said clearly frustrated and worried.
"I have to go, we have a division wide training session today, and Kira will need my help getting it organized." Ichigo said as he leaned down and kissed Rukia on the cheek, she smiled and kissed him back. Ichigo grabbed Zangetsu from the rack and left. After he was gone Rukia got up and retrieved Soda No Shiryuki from the rack and left for the Thirteenth Division offices.
Isshin Kurosaki left the clinic in soul form and headed to Urahara's shop, it was well after ten thirty at night and Yuzu was still not home from her training session with Yoruichi and Urahara. Isshin had to admit he was worried about Yuzu, her sweet and innocent demeanor has been gone since that night three years ago, it was as if that part of her had died. Yuzu had become bitter and cynical after Karin was put on death row, after her sisters execution she seems so sad and lost. Things have only gotten worse since Karin's funeral and her move to the Soul Society, if anything Yuzu has become even more reckless then she was and Isshin is worried that she has a death wish. He entered the shop and headed down to the basement training area, as he came down he could hear Yuzu chanting a kido incantation with Urahara sending bolt of red energy at her from his zanpaktou. Yuzu dodge the bolts using flash step and tried to hit Urahara in the head with her bokken, she missed and he caught her with his blade cutting her arm. Yuzu clinched her wounded arm and looked at Urahara with primal rage in her amber eyes. Yuzu began to glow orange with uncontrolled energy, she channeled it into her bokken and recklessly charged at Urahara. There was a large explosion as red and orange spirit energy collided with enough force to shatter the ground in the training area. As the smoke cleared Isshin could see Urahara was on one knee using his sword for support, and Yuzu was unconscious on the ground her bokken shattered. Isshin ran to his daughter's side, she was badly injured with blood flowing from a number of cuts and gashes. Isshin picked her up and walked to the entrance, he was about to yell at Urahara for risking Yuzu's life like that when he saw him collapse and Yoruichi picked him up and followed Isshin upstairs. Isshin left Yuzu resting on a futon in the back of the shop having finished healing her with kido, Isshin came in and sat at the table with Yoruichi who had finished healing Urahara.
"What was he thinking putting her at risk like that?" Isshin all but seethed.
"Yuzu is very powerful, but because of everything she's suffered she is losing control. When Yuzu's emotions get the better of her then her spirit energy becomes unstable, her attack on Kisuki was amazingly powerful and she almost killed both of them." Yoruichi said with clear concern on her face.
"I know, she's getting worse. I really think she may be trying to get herself killed." Isshin said with his face down cast. Yoruichi put a hand on his shoulder. How much pain and loss can one man endure? She thought to herself as she saw the expression on Isshin's face.
Three more days passed and Karin had suffered the same nightmares about her execution every night. Toshiro noticed that the area under her eyes was almost black from lack of sleep, and any weight she had gained in the Soul Society was gone, if anything she weighed less then she did when she was in prison and he was worried that if something didn't change her health would be in danger. Ichigo and Rukia had noticed her state as well but every time they ask her what was wrong she would tell them everything is fine and would go off by herself. The three of them were setting around the table at the Kuchiki manor trying to figure out what was wrong with her.
"I just don't get it, she was fine until we got back from the Living World, then she seemed to fall apart." Toshiro said, frustration in his voice.
"Did something happen to her in the Living World?" Rukia ask.
"Not that I know of. What about you Toshiro, did anything happen to her there that you know of?" Ichigo said looking worn out himself.
"No, and one of us was with her at all times so nothing could have happed without one of us knowing." Hisugaya said, too worried about Karin to correct Ichigo's use of his first name.
"Maybe we should take her to the Fourth and see what Unohana can find out." Rukia said and both males nodded in agreement.
"I can go get her." Hitsugaya said as he got up to leave.
" If something doesn't change soon I'm afraid she could die from this." Rukia said in a sad tone.
"I know." was all Ichigo could say.
"Snap! Tobiume" Momo yelled as she sent a fire ball at Karin, who blocked it using a bakudo spell. Karin sent a wind dragon at Momo who dissipated it using a shakaho fireball.
"You can't get me that easily Kurosaki!" Momo yelled and sent another wave of fire balls from Tobiume at Karin who was too slow in dodging and was hit in the midsection by one. She let out a scream of pain and brought Kazeryu up to protect herself from the other woman's assaults.
"I haven't even warmed up yet!" Karin yelled with more conviction then she felt. She sent a pare of dragons at Momo, and used Kazeryu's wings to shield herself from yet another wave of Tobiume's fireballs. Momo was hit by one of the dragons and she was bleeding from her arm and leg were she was hit. Momo let out a small cry of pain, and retaliated with a binding spell, followed by a hado 33 blue fire crash. Karin was hit and she was sent airborne by the impact, as she got up she hit Momo with bakudo 64, as the six light rods bound her Momo tried and failed to brake it. Karin fired a wave of shakaho fire balls at Momo who broke the spell but couldn't dodge the follow up attack.
"That's enough Kurosaki." Momo said as she raised her hand in surrender.
"Good session Momo." Karin said as she offered the other girl a hand getting up.
"You did good too Kurosaki." Momo said with a smile.
"Please call me Karin, unless you want me calling you vice-captain Kira." Karin said.
"No it would be too confusing if you called me that. I would never know if you meant me or my husband." Momo Kira said with a slightly amused but distasteful look on her face.
"Then I guess you better call me Karin, Momo-chan." Karin said, as the two girls walked to the Fifth Division. Momo noticed that Karin seemed very tired and she had dark circles under her eyes, she was also thinner and paler then she was when she first arrived in the Soul Society.
"Is everything ok Karin-chan?" Momo ask as they walked in.
"Yeah, why do you ask?" Karin said trying to hide the weakness and exhaustion she felt from not being able to sleep, or eat because of her nightmares.
"You just seem tried." Momo said, while studying the other girls face for clues.
"Well we did train pretty hard." Karin said hoping that would get Momo to drop the matter.
"Ok, well I have to go. I'll see you later Kuros.. I mean Karin." Momo said as she entered the gate to the Fifth Division. Karin started walking home, she felt like crying all she wanted was to collapse on the ground and sleep, but if she did then those damned nightmares would torture in her sleep again. Karin hate felling so weak and helpless, but she hadn't slept well since that night after her funeral. To make matters worse she hadn't felt like eating much because of it and now she felt so weak that she was afraid she would die again if she couldn't find a way to make herself eat.
Hitsugaya was walking toward the Fifth Division looking for Karin, he spotted her walking in the direction of his division. He ran up to her and started walking beside her.
"Karin, I need to talk to you" He said as they walked. Karin just nodded.
"What's going on with you? You look like you haven't slept in months, and you've lost so much weight I'm afraid you'll die without help" He said to her.
"Nothing is wrong Toshiro, I'm fine." She said without looking at him. Karin stopped walking and sat down on the ground by the wall of the Tenth Division barracks
"Don't lie Karin, you haven't been the same since we got back from your funeral. I want to know why the girl I love looks like she is dying in front of me, I had to watch you die once I don't ever want to do it again." He said the fear and pain in his heart causing his voice to break and tears to form in his eyes. Karin looked at his face and she could see the emotions running through his teal eyes, and that did it.
"I can't do this anymore Tosh, I just can't take it. Every time I try to sleep I have a nightmare about being executed again. I felt so scared so helpless, I couldn't move, I couldn't breath it felt like forever, the only thing that I had to cling to was you. Knowing that you were there for me, feeling you hold my hand and stroke my hair, it was the only thing that helped me get through it." Karin said on the verge of tears, her voice breaking as she tried to control it.
"The worst part is in my nightmares you aren't there, you've abandoned me to die alone. I know you would never do that, but I still can't sleep. I can't bring myself to eat, I feel so sick from this. Tosh I don't want to die again I don't want to leave you." Karin said as she lost control, she collapsed into a sobbing heap as he wrapped his arms around her trembling form and let her cry on him. To Hitsugaya she felt so small and weak in his arms that he could not believe she was the same person who used to beat him at soccer.
"I won't let you die again, I promised I would always be here for you." He whispered in her ear.
"I wish they'd just cut my head off instead." Karin said through her sobs.
"I know it was horrible, but it's over now. I will never let anyone or anything hurt you again." He said as he picked her up in his arms, and started walking to the Fourth Division.
A dark clad figure walked through the streets of Karakura, the remnants of a hollow mask was on the left side of his face. The Arrancar was hunting for his pray in Karakura, the last he knew she still lived there with her family. He started searching for her spiritual pressure, and was surprised at how weak it was when he found it. She was going to pay for what she did to him, he still remembered that day and it hunted him, he thirsted for her blood and finally he was about to have his revenge. He made his way to the source of her spirit energy, and ran through the streets with such speed that he was almost using sonedo. Soon he would pay her back for what she did, soon he would torture her and devour her soul. He ran up the a hill and through the gates at the top, he was surprised to find that he was in a graveyard. He traced the her presence to a terrace and soon found himself at the source. He was standing in front of a grave, he looked at the inscription on the grave.
Karin Kurosaki Beloved daughter and sister, she will always be in our hearts.
Karin awoke in the Fourth Division medical ward, she was confused at first and then she remembered that Toshiro had carried her there after she told him what was wrong. Karin was still tried and she wondered how long she had been asleep. She looked over and realized that Toshiro was setting next to her bed holding her hand, he must have fallen asleep at some point. Karin sat up still feeling very weak and a little dizzy, Toshiro woke up and placed his hands on her shoulders to steady her.
"How're you feeling?" He ask her.
"Still a little tired, and weak." She said.
"You need to try and eat something." He said handing her a tray of food.
"I know it's not Yuzu's cooking, but it's not bad." He said as she took it and started slowly eating, anytime she looked like she was starting to feel sick he would stroke her hair or place his hand on her shoulder. His small gestures of affection seemed to help her feel better, and after she finished eating she laid back down.
"I talked to your brother, I'm going to move in to the Kuchiki manor with you. Unohana suggested that we start sharing a bed since the last time you had a good nights sleep we shared your bed at home, and you slept well here as long I has next to you. She believes that if we share a bed then your nightmares will stop, so your brother and captain Kuchiki agreed to her plan." He said to her, as she took in what he was saying she realized that if he was next to her then she had nothing to fear, not even her dreams.
"Thanks Tosh." She said as she started drifting of to sleep again.
"You're welcome Rin, I love you." He said to his half asleep girlfriend.
" I love you too." She said, her voice filled with sleep. He leaned in and kissed her on the head.
"I will always do what it takes to protect you Karin, always." He said in a whisper after she was asleep. He laid down next to her and watched her sleep, she had a peaceful look on her face, but as he held her he noticed how thin and frail she felt in his arms. He felt her snuggle closer to him and he held her carefully, as if she would shatter if he held her too tight. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you Karin, was his last thought before he fell asleep.
Karin was released from the Fourth Division the next day, she was still tired and weak but she'd also slept peacefully through the night. Unohana said it would be ok for her to go home, but she was still concerned by how much weight Karin had lost. Karin was given a strict diet that was very high in nutrients to help her regain her lost weight and deal with the nutrient deficiency that she suffered from not being able to eat for so long.
"I can't believe she put me on a diet." Karin said with an irritated look on her face.
"Well you were so badly under nourished that she needed to do something to replenish your body." Toshiro said to her as they walked to the Kuchiki manor.
"But a diet, don't they usually put fat people on those?" Karin said.
"Not necessarily, in your case its because you lost so much weight that your health is at risk. If you don't regain the nutrients and weight you lost, you could die." Toshiro said, his face was calm, but pain flashed through his eyes at the thought of her dying again.
"Ok I get it, I just feel weird being on a diet." She said.
"Well didn't you have to eat a high nutrient diet to get ready for soccer season?" He ask her.
"Yeah we did." She said, looking nostalgic.
"Just think of it like that then, you are eating a diet to build you up before you go to the academy." He said to her.
'Good way to look at it, thanks Tosh."
"Your welcome, what are boyfriends for?" he said causing her to smile. Together they walked into the grounds of the Kuchiki manor, and Rukia greeted them.
"Hi you two." Rukia said as they walked up.
"Where is Ichi-nii?" Karin ask.
"Oh he is finishing his division's paperwork, he'll be home for diner." Rukia said.
"Welcome home Karin, I hope you are feeling better." Byakuya said, his deep authoritative voice sounding uncharacteristically warm.
"Thank you Byakuya-nii, I am thanks to Toshiro." she said.
"Welcome to the Kuchiki manor captain Hitsugaya." Byakuya said.
"Thank you captain Kuchiki, I'm honored by your hospitality." Hitsugaya said in return, as they were lead into the house.
Later that night Ichigo came home and they all sat down to diner, the cooks had been informed of Karin's dietary requirements and very high nutrient foods were specially prepared for her. As everyone sat and enjoyed their food, Karin looked at the people around the table. This is her family, Ichi-nii, Rukia, Byakuya-nii, and of course Toshiro, these are people who love her no matter what. For the first time in over three years Karin felt like she was home, even so she still missed her dad and Yuzu but like she said they would see each other again. Karin finished her meal, and as she sipped the tea that was served after diner she wondered when her dad and Yuzu would come and visit.
Isshin Kurosaki woke up and looked at his clock, it was well past ten in the morning. That's odd I wonder why Yuzu didn't wake me up sooner, good thing it's the weekend or else we would have to rush to get the clinic open. He thought to himself as he got out of bed. Still wondering why Yuzu didn't wake him he stretched out his sense to find her spiritual pressure, he found her still in her room. Something about her pressure felt off and he wondered if she was sick, that would explain why she was still in bed. Isshin left his room and walked down the hallway, he knocked on her door and she told him to come in. Yuzu was sitting on her bed holding a stuffed animal in her arms. At first Isshin thought she was still in her room because she was sad about Karin's death, but then he noticed it, her severed chain of fate attached to her chest.
"I'm sorry daddy, but I was wounded and I couldn't stop the bleeding." She said looking regretful.
"Who did this Yuzu?" Isshin said in disbelief, Yuzu was dead, his last child had died.
"It was an Arrancar, I didn't get his name. I saved the little boy. I killed the Arrancar, but he wounded me too badly. I tried to stay alive for you, I really did but I couldn't." She said tears forming in her amber eyes.
"Yuzu where is your body?" He ask, trying not to cry.
'Its down stairs, I'll show you." She answered. The went down and he found her lifeless body laying in a pool of blood. Yuzu had been slashed across her belly and chest, and her back had been ripped open, she was also stabbed through her midsection. Isshin knew at once that there was nothing he could have done to save her from those injuries, he was amazed that she even made it home like that, the pain must have been incredible.
'Yuzu wait here." He said as he made his way to the kitchen, he picked up the phone and dialed Ryukun Ishida's number. Isshin returned a few minutes later, and took a soul candy separating his soul and gigai. He picked up a knife and slashed and stabbed his body until it looked as bad as Yuzu's tattered remains.
"What are you doing daddy?" Yuzu ask looking worried.
"I told you I wasn't putting up anymore posters Yuzu." He said looking very serious.
"Does this mean we're both going to the Soul Society?" She ask looking hopeful.
"Yup, I called Ishida and he is going to take care of our funerals. I also left him the clinic so it can stay open without us." He said as he opened a sankaimon.
"I can't wait to see oni-chan and Karin again." Yuzu said looking happy for the first time in three years.
"We can finally be a family again Yuzu." Isshin said, and with that he and Yuzu walked through the gate.