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Chapter 29

Saturday 3:15 pm

Emily and Lucky sat in the park. Spencer was in a stroller and Cameron was asleep on Lucky's lap, his head resting against his father's chest.

"You volunteered to watch Spencer so Nikolas can take Kelly away for the weekend?" Lucky's mouth dropped.

"He wouldn't have gone if I didn't."

"And you wanted him to?" Lucky could only imagine him encouraging Liz to date Pete. Yeah right, hethought, no way in hell.

" In a perfect world Nikolas would mourn losing me for the rest of his life." Emily chuckled. "But in reality I want him to be happy even if that is not with me. It makes me feel less guilty about falling for someone myself."

"The bodyguard gangster?"

"Who else?"

Lucky let out a breath. "I don't know. I was hoping you would say anyone but him."

Emily scrunched her nose at her friend. "Be nice."

Lucky looked at Cameron and Spencer. "I don't know how you and my brother are pulling off this friendship after marriage thing. It kills me to see Liz with someone else and breaks my heart every time I take Cam home and have to leave him there. I don't want to live this life. I just don't."

"Then you have to do something to make this life the one you want," Em advised. "Even if it is without Liz."

Lucky knew she was right, but didn't know if he could find a way to do it.

"She agreed to shared custody. Don't you think that is a good sign?" he asked

"She's made herself clear, Lucky. You know I want her to take you back almost as much as you do. I want... only the best.. for you... but.."

"She isn't going to."

"I don't think she will. She's seeing Pete now." Emily tried to make her voice gentle but firm. "You need to get out too."

"Ha!"

"You would be doing me a huge, huge favor if you went on a blind date with this woman who lives in my apartment building..." Emily started

"What? I'm married!"

Emily gave him a look. "Come on, please! Her name is Melana Carson and I so have to get her hooked up with someone so she will take her flirty little eyes off Milo."

"Forget about it."

"Lucky..." she begged.

"Em."

"Luck."

"No!"

Emily sighed.

Cameron woke up, rubbing his eyes. "Daddy?"

"I'm here, son."

Saturday 3:30 pm

Nikolas took Kelly's and helped her out of the Jag.

She looked around and saw they were in the airport parking lot. "Where are we going?"

"You tell me."

"This is your surprise, Nikolas."

He walked to the trunk and took out a couple of bags.

"We have a jet. We have luggage. I even obtained your passport, thanks to Lainey. So, all that is left, is you telling me where you want to go? Anywhere in the world, Kel."

She was awed. "Why?"

He moved close to her, dropping the bags at his feet. He brushed her hair behind her ear, and whispered "I want to make new memories. And I want to make them with you."

Kelly closed the distance between them and brought her lips to his, wrapped her arms around his neck, and did her best to believe his words.

She wanted this man. And prayed to God that somehow she would be lucky enough to stay the one he wanted.

Saturday 6 pm

Ned picked up Lainey to go out to dinner. When they were in his car he said, "There is something I have to tell you and I don't think you will like it."

Lainey's head jerked to the side. His tone set off warning bells in her. Now that they were spending every night together she was starting to count on him, need him, love him with her whole heart.

It just started. They couldn't be over.

(Look at this face

I know the years are showing.

Look at this life

I still don't know where it's going.

I don't know much

but I know I love you.

That may be all I need to know. ) ( Aaron Neville)

Her eyes refocused on the windshield as rain pelted it. It was a stormy night in April. The kind of night that gave a person shivers as they lay in bed with the wind whipping the shutters against the window pane. Lainey wanted Ned there to hold her tonight, to keep her feeling secure from whatever raged outside.

"Maybe we should have some wine and then talk later?" she suggested, stalling.

"I think we need to discuss this alone, not in a crowded restaurant where there is glass you can throw at my head."

"I wouldn't do that!" she laughed

He glanced at her, "You would be well within your rights to..."

"What did you do that you think is so unforgivable?"

Ned paused for a moment. Then told her, "Kissed my ex-wife. Or to be more precise, Lois kissed me today."

"Oh."

"Lainey.."

"Are you going back to her, Ned?"

He gave her a quick look, surprised. Ned pulled the car into a parking lot. It was the local grocery store. He killed the engine and took her hand in his.

Their eyes met. She searched his for an answer that wouldn't break her heart.

(So many questions still left unanswered.

So much I've never broken through.

And when I feel you

near me,

sometimes I see so

clearly.

The only truth I'll ever know is me and you. ) ( Aaron Neville)

"I'm in love with you, Lainey. I don't want us to end."

Her eyes filled with tears. "I feel the same way."

"I told Lois I don't want to be with her. But I will understand if you are still upset about what happened. You should be. I should have phoned her and made it clear I was no longer available."

"She knows now. That's all that matters." Lainey leaned forward and captured his lips in a kiss. "Thank you for choosing me."

"I will always choose you, Lainey."

(I don't know much but I know I love you.

That may be all I need to know.

I don't know much

but I know I love you

That may be all there is to know.) (Aaron Neville)

Saturday 11 pm

Robin and Cruz were at the hotel after the Nickleback concert. They each had their own suite. Right now they were in hers, sitting on a sofa.

Cruz said softly, "You seemed really sad tonight, Robin. Will you let me make you feel better?"

He ran his thumb over her lip, then his lips touched hers.

Robin pushed back the picture of Patrick that came to her mind. She tried her best to lose herself in Cruz, this man who hurt as bad as she did, who knew what losing felt like, who wanted to heal her.

She leaned back, pulling him on top of her. Soon his hand was under her shirt, his mouth was on her neck, she was getting lost... slowly... just don't think! she ordered herself

"My beautiful, beautiful lady," he whispered "Let me make love to you."

That drug her out of her haze. She looked him in his eyes. "You know about me... my HIV status..."

"Yes, and I know we can still be together."

Robin forced him to sit up. She leaned forward, wrapping her arm around his neck, "I want to. But I...for me ... this is not easy... it never has been. I can't do casual sex or love, very well. Once I fall I stay that way for a long time.. years.. always.. it's just who I am. I wish I could be different. I want this! I want you. It would be so much easier."

Cruz kissed her then, hard. She got caught up in the heat and their clothes started to fall off.

"Just show me how much you can do. How much you can love me." He said between kisses "That will be enough for now. I want to be here for you..."

Saturday 11 45 pm

Lucky Spencer sat on the stage at The Outback. It was open mic night. He was the last performer.

This was something he hadn't done it years. He gave it up to be someone else. But now, he wanted to be more like who he was when he wrote that love song to Elizabeth. If she didn't notice the change, or never heard him sing, at least he would know.

There was no one in the audience who knew him, but he sang for his wife, wherever she was.

"I had big plans for our future
said

I'd give you the whole world somehow


I tried making good on that promise
thought

I'd be so much further by now


Never could build you a castle
even though

you're the queen of my heart


But I've had the best of intentions

from the start..." ( Travis Tritt)

He strummed his guitar, thinking of days when it was easier to be hopeful. Days long gone now.

"Now some people think I'm a loser
Cause

I seldom get things right


But you make me feel like a winner
when

you wrap me in your arms so tight


Please tell me you will remember
No matter how much I do wrong
That I had the best of intentions

all along

I gave you a ring and I promised you things
I always thought we'd do


But my best laid plan slipped right through my hands
to show my love for you !


And if you could read my heart
Then you'd know without exception
It was all with the best

of intentions..." ( Travis Tritt)

A woman sat in the audience listening to him croon this heart broken love song. And she thought of how no one ever before had said such words to her.

She thought about how a man as fine as this one the stage would probably never love her. She didn't know why but her luck with men was beyond horrible.

Lucky finished the Travis Tritt song by singing, "Cause I've had the best of intentions.
Girl, I've had the best of intentions.
Yes, I've had the best of intentions loving you."

The audience exploded into applause. Lucky was shocked. He made his way to the bar and sat down.

The same woman who loved his singing was on the stool next to him, looking miserable, throwing back shots.

"Whoa, maybe you should slow down there." he said after she downed the fourth one in a row.

"Pretty boy, stay out of it."

"Mouthy and a drinker. You would fit in my family just fine." he smiled for her sake. She looked even more pathetically depressed than he felt. "Lucky Spencer."

She looked at him, up and down. "Melana..."

"Carson." he filled in, knowing without a doubt this was his almost blind date.

"You a fan?"

Lucky gave her a blank look.

"I'm a model," she added "Ex-model actually. I quit. How did you know my last name?"

"We know some of the same people. Milo Giambetti. Emily Quatermaine."

"Oh you know that ex- Princess. Lucky you. Are you in love with her too?"

Melana went to drink another shot.

Lucky took it from her.

"Hey!" she objected

"You're cut off."

"Says who?"

He pulled out his badge. "PCPD, at your service. You need a ride home?"

She sighed. "Home is the last place I want to go. You offering anywhere else?"

"Afraid not."

"Then home it is, I guess." Melana turned and walked out without another word, leaving Lucky to throw some cash at the bartender and hurry after her.

Sunday 2 am

Robin lay in bed next to Cruz. They hadn't made love but she did feel a lot closer to him. Maybe he would stay in her life long enough for her to get strong again. He swore he wasn't running away, wouldn't ever turn his back on her.

She had heard that one before.

Her mind shot back to Jason, stabbing her heart as she thought of that last time on the bridge. She wished she could hate him. But even Jason, who hadn't loved her in years, had a little piece of her heart still.

Then she thought of Patrick. He never wanted to love her. But she really had believed he did.

That wasn't a fantasy no matter what he said now.

Her cell phone rang.

Robin scooted from bed and crossed the room. She grabbed it and answered.

"It's Epiphany. Sorry to disturb you."

"You can't call me into work. I'm in New Your City right now."

"I know. Kelly told me."

Robin stilled. "Then why are you calling?"

"There was an accident. Patrick-"

"No, Epiphany, there wasn't. There wasn't." She said the words slowly, her voice starting to shake.

"I would have waited till morning to call if I could..."

"You have your facts wrong!"

Her loud words woke Cruz up. He flipped on the light.

"Robin," Epiphany said calmly "you should come home now."

"How is he?"

Epiphany said the standard line "They are doing all they can for him."

"Please tell me his condition! I have to know. I can't drive home not knowing..."

Cruz came to her side. Their eyes met, hers wild with worry, his dark with concern. He touched her back.

"Please..." Robin begged again

"Extremely critical. The road was rain slicked. He was going to fast. His car left the street and crashed into a tree. He's in surgery right now."

Robin flung the phone from her hand and fell into Cruz's arms. The cry that escaped her lips was the sound of a woman breaking apart, shattering right there in front of him.

All Cruz could do was hold on to her as she shook, trying to keep her in one piece.